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Hey, everybody! Ready for this week’s top comments? Here’s #1:

“I like the fact that in Santa Royale, nothing says drunkenness like loosening one’s tie ever so slightly.” –Andrew Leal

As my wife says: “I know it’s easy to make fun of Mary Worth, but that doesn’t make it any less satisfying.” Also satisfying is collating the list of runners-up:

“A3G: Aaargh!! Sunday’s strip was no more than a synopsis of all the previous week’s crap, and Monday’s is a synopsis of Sunday’s. I mean, how much torture can one woman take? And by that, I mean myself, of course, not Lu Ann.” –Kronkina

“Dagwood is disturbed by the fact that he had a sex dream about Blondie. They’ve never done it — just look at their children, who are creepily identical to them. Clearly the Bumsteads reproduce via mitosis, possibly by releasing a cloud of spores.” –Steve S

“I’m having a real problem with Mark Trail. He says most of his stories are interesting, which means, by his own low standards, some are not. Much like ‘Can God make a rock so heavy that not even he could lift it?’ the concept of a story so uninteresting that even Mark Trail calls it boring is a paradox that experts in the field of logic, and college students high on pot, will debate for the foreseeable future.” –Missy

“Perhaps Hi is simply such a poor golfer that he won’t even be able to achieve par on his children’s mockery of a course, and with the entire venue in view of the window, his atrocious failure will be public fodder for jokes for years to come. But more likely he’s simply afraid his children found the bodies.” –minosbull

“I think that Mark Trail is actually the Elrod Repertory Cartoon Company, in which many different characters are played by the same toons. For example, George Spelvin played both Bo Jones in ‘Andy Kidnapped by Rednecks at the Ivory Billed Woodpecker Woods’ and is now playing the role of ‘Buzzard’ in ‘Oh, Those Crooked Airport Pols.’ The same toon plays Cherry, Kelly Welly, and now Sam Hill. Those years of study at the Old Vic certainly paid off.” –Islamorada Girl

“Mrs. Lockhorn is right, life is not like a box of chocolates; chocolate goes straight to your hips, and Leroy hasn’t paid a visit to that region in years.” –andreavis

“If Milford’s Poorliest-Drawn Kidz Klub is going to help cure cancer, I bet their plan involves standing around like 1970s Sears mannequins in a lab and freaking out the scientists. ‘Oh, hey, are you kids here on a field trip?’ [Eerie silence.] ‘I said, are you here on a field trip? Do you want to watch me titrate this sample?’ [Eerie silence.] ‘Oh. Oh, no.'” –Yitzchok

“When Mike says ‘I’ll get it gassed up and ready,’ he’s actually referring to the Pattersons’ secret basement death chamber. The poor realtor will regret the day he sold them that tree-magnet of a house.” –Steve S

[On Funky Winkerbean]: “Doomlarity will ensue.” –Jym

“Don’t you just love the look on Heather’s face? Her internal thermostat has run up from ‘Nanny’ to ‘Au Pair’ to ‘Governess’ to ‘Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS.'” –willethompson

“I’m off till Tuesday, secure in the knowledge that, when I return … county commissioners will still be behaving like typical liberal politicians who think any problem can be solved simply by throwing more birds at it.” –gh

“For someone’s who’s never had to drink from a glass without his butler’s assistance, Von’s a quick study: ‘Perhaps if I pour it on my forehead? Hmm, that didn’t work. No no, let me be, Jeeves, I want to puzzle this out for myself. Ah, what about into my ear? Unsatisfactory. It can’t be too difficult, surely. Poor people seem to manage it. Think, Von, think!'” –Old Bean

“I wonder if this was sent in by a dentist or a denture wearer. If it was sent in by a dentist, I find it very endearing that, when confronted by an obvious lie about broken dentures, the dentist’s vision of the awful truth is a brushing accident, and not the insane meth-induced BDSM/tooth breaking fetish nightmare that I would naturally lean towards. ‘Spongecake” indeed.” –evie oh oh

“Does the government keep a list of people aroused by reading Slylock Fox? Just looking at the strip makes me feel bad inside. It’s like getting off on the Junior Jumble.” –Flealick

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