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Mark Trail, 7/17/24

Wow, it seems the Grungey Boys’ whole deal was a real “I learned it from watching you” situation, because it started when Ranger Shaw dumped a box of Twilight DVDs in the woods, and then Robbie saw him do it, and then [chain of events I forget the details of and don’t feel like looking up] breaking up fax machines with baseball bats in a National Park. Anyway, I’m pretty hung up on that box of DVDs. I feel like it’s way too large for a scenario where you just own the entire Twilight saga on DVD, but way too small if your goal was to amass so many copies of movies from the Twilight saga on DVD that your husband wouldn’t be able to dispose of all of them in the woods. Also, while I’m not a fan of Twilight’s whole deal, I do think this act of marital warfare is over the line and also counterproductive — it will simply lead to Ranger Shaw’s wife repeatedly paying $3.99 to rent the movies VOD via iTunes or Amazon Prime, further enriching Stephenie Meyer and the films’ producers with each purchase.

Judge Parker, 7/17/24

Oh, good, Sophie in fact did her due diligence on the whole “Is my dad dead or not?” question. Unfortunately, she must now contend with the “Am I in the grips of an acute form of gothic madness or not?” question, which is the sort of thing guaranteed to ruin any beach vacation.

Pluggers, 7/17/24

Pluggers are simply covered with oozing sores and open wounds. And not little ones, either!