Monday is for cyber, and murder, and love
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Alice, 11/4/24
A thing I think about a lot is that the guy who the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory inspired to shoot up Comet Ping-Pong in the aftermath of the 2016 election had gotten home internet only a few weeks before. Imagine going from zero to 2016-election-campaign-level internet madness instantly! You’ve heard vaguely that the “Web” is the best way to learn about news and current events, finally get hooked up, and the first thing you discover is that there’s a cabal of pedophiles operating out of a pizza place in D.C. Anyway, it’s eight years later and the internet has gotten a lot worse, so, I’m just going to say it: I’m worried about Alice.
Dick Tracy, 11/4/24
I have a stepbrother who used to be a Marine and is recently retired from the Border Patrol, and that’s a great way to hear all the jokes that different kinds of troops and/or cops tell about each other (he once referred to the Highway Patrol as “AAA with a badge,” for instance). This Dick Tracy storyline started with a crazy (?) guy getting arrested by the Neo-Chicago Transit Authority (T.A.) for jumping a turnstyle, showing a fake (?) employee ID from the mysterious “Totten Organization,” and then he got murdered in the bathroom of the T.A. jail, so I’m hoping to see some similar inter-agency snark upcoming. I feel like we’re off to a good start here with the Chief telling Dick, “Oh yeah, some guy got arrested for an extremely minor crime and then died in jail, right under the T.A. cops’ noses … but wait, this time there’s something screwy about that scenario.”
Mary Worth, 11/4/24
Sometimes with visual art, it’s an open question whether you’re supposed to interpret what you’re seeing literally, or just understand that the people and items you can see have been arranged as you see them in order to emphasize their importance and relevance. Like, did Dr. Ed and Estelle really set up an end table for their three pets to sit on and bark/meow approvingly while they toast one another in front of their five friends and Wilbur? Or are they “really” on the floor, but we’ve only got two panels and surely you don’t want us to ditch the establishing shot or draw anybody’s feet?
153 replies to “Monday is for cyber, and murder, and love”
Mary Worth Mashup
MW:
“Today we celebrate the love and affection that Stell and I have for each other…which is why, mere minutes after we exchanged vows, I’m not sporting a wedding ring on my left hand!”
So — Alice is watching porn, right? That’s the joke? Or is the joke that the guy THINKS she must be watching porn? The caption below the strip definitely implies porn. Can they talk about that on the funny pages???
DT:
“No can do, Chief! You know how Posh Spice busied herself practicing that trademark posey-pouty facial expression of hers? Well, I’m busy here practicing my jut-jawed, angular look!”
“Tracy, Homicide needs your help!”
“Great, that’s what I’m best at!”
“Help SOLVING a homicide!”
“Whaaa!”
Sure, cats climb everywhere, but we are meant to believe that that lumpy boxer somehow made it onto the table by himself. They put him there. No, Dr. Ed, the vet, put him there! While Estelle and Ed get all romantic about how they compromised at there no frills wedding, the lumpy boxer is going to fall off that table and get hurt. “Sorry, honey, I have to leave. It’s an emergency! I’ll be taking him to the office. Don’t wait up!”
MW: Estelle, that thing about only virgins getting married in white is just an outdated cultural trope! You didn’t need to get married in an ABBA Halloween costume!
Alice: I need to know all the context here. Who is this dapper man in a bowtie and baseball cap, why are they perching on old-fashioned cinema seats, and who scribbled all over that nightmarish artwork on the wall?
I’ve thought about something. Sure, Ed is a narcissist who made it clear he will always put his job before his wife. But he has his own home! Now Estelle can move out of Chatterstone and escape the clutches of Mary!
Alice: Out of all the weirdness of this strip, I think it’s the caption that has me most confused. I get that its supposed to be more of a statement of incredulity, but you know who would admit to that: it’s Alice. It’s right there, just an inch above you…
DT: I’m glad that Josh is there to explain the acronym, because my first thought was “Damn, I saw a lot of crazy stuff as a biology T.A. but I never caught a murder…”
MW: At ‘his’ house? I know that Ed’s vet work probably paid for that house but I would have assumed that after the wedding it would be ‘their’ house? Maybe Mary hasn’t signed Stella’s release papers yet.
MW:
The anagram of “Where is Cousin Pam?” is “A ruin, Ms. Showpiece?”
Coincidence? — I think not.
DT: Oh wow. That Sprengstoff guy really did just let that unbefuckinglievably incompetent and idiotic supernatural hacker hitman just walk up and throttle him to death, politely not fighting back or making a sound while dying to the most inefficient way to kill someone that exists. We’ve got to sit tight and let more stupid pile up to know just how much dumber this is, but it’s very likely Sprengstoff is going to be revealed as a German federal agent or something similar, which is only going to make all of this even worse.
Luann: “…And then Stef got mad at me, and then Kip got mad at Stef! They’re both so unhappy now! It’s awesome! I don’t know why I’m telling you this, though, because it all makes me look like a terrible person and also you were there too and saw the whole thing yourself.”
JP: Remember that deliberately too-stupid and too-absurd scenario I described yesterday? Sure enough, as always, Francesco Marciuliano one-ups even the most impossible of terrible predictions with something somehow even dumber and crazier, and we sure as hell aren’t getting that break from Neddy’s bullshit.
SlyF: The whole point of a ghost is that it’s more alive than a dead person is supposed to be, and that it has been denied its eternal rest. Man, if only there was some kind of euphemistically-named “room of rest” that would fit this riddle better.
MW: why is Ed wearing that ridiculous baggy purple suit from Goodwill?
MW:
“There’s nothing in these champagne glasses, Ed!”
“They’re as empty as our relationship, Stell!”
Alice’s friends find her an easy target for Rickrolling.
“Love, sure, but affection? Let’s not rush things!”
MW: Am I the only one waiting for a trainload of sick puppies to derail RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE, just to test Ed’s commitment to his new marriage?
RMMD: So, is there going to be a wedding or a weddin’? Pick a suffix and stick with it, Truck!
Alice – I had an extra big bowel movement today. It’s good to know you have a new hobby….
DT – How ‘bout we issue a crime stoppers about under age kids buying alcohol….
MW – Even Ed’s house is boring….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Ettorre: I’ve thought about something. Sure, Ed is a narcissist who made it clear he will always put his job before his wife. But he has his own home! Now Estelle can move out of Chatterstone and escape the clutches of Mary!
_________________________________________________________________
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Alice – 90% of her viewing is reading the comments on joshreads dot com, since it might be the only forum on the Internet to discuss Alice.
Dick Tracy – “Neo-Chicago T.A., or as we called them, Train Ambassadors. Losers who like to say T.A. stands for trained assassins, when they are really a Ticket Authority.”
Mary Worth – Due to their intelligence and how well trained they are by Estelle and Dr. Ed, the pets have been allowed their own table to sit on and eat at in order to feel like they are equal members of the family.
Wilbur will be sent outside to have his meal, due to his messy eating habits, not closing his mouth when he chews, and to avoid a drunken incident.
Feet! In Mary Worth! Somebody’s been spending too much time on the Web bulletin boards…
@Baja Gaijin:
Baja, I’d love to see a mash-up of Pierre lifting his leg over Ed’s shoes.
MW: Did Mary’s wedding cake creation make the transfer intact? The suspense is killing me! SHOW US THE CAKE!
RMMD: ‘We’ve secretly switched Truck’s normal Wanda for Wilbur Weston in a beehive wig! Let’s see if he can tell the difference!’
@jroggs: On Luann: No, Bets didn’t. She conveniently winked out of existence while our little DRAMA!! played out, remember? Must be the same cosmic ripple that allowed Stef to beat Tiffany and Bets back to the dorms, make a fancy ‘No Tiffany Club’ (‘guh-hyuck!’) sign and post it when she was clearly running after Kip to present herself right there on the 40-yard line when last we saw her.
I’m guessing tomorrow Bets will have winked into the Dorm room while Tiffany still stays outside.
MW: It would appear that Ed is getting married in a robe-coat? It’s REAL long, whatever it is. And the Champagne glasses are empty. And Estelle is wearing a dress that can be best described as “my mother’s nightgown.” And the dog is on the table. It’s as if no one involved with this strip has ever seen people or animals or anyone ever do anything.
The Mary Worth crew isn’t afraid to give all sorts of Wilbur images to fill up the schlubophiles’ spank banks, so I don’t see them being adverse to a little foot action.
***
How would one define “internet viewing”? Because honestly, if you go just by data usage a Netflix subscription can do that for you. Who would admit that, Alice? Everyone who has cut out cable in the past decade or so.
CS: Um, does this make absolutely no sense to anyone else?
MW: We finally hear from Odin, and it’s the same old thing. Do all cats say the same thing, or is Odin just trying to ingratiate himself with the two intruders he has to live with now and of whom he is terrified?
JP: “Shut up, Reenie or Ronnie or whoever you are, we’re trying to have an inane conversation here.”
Alice: Worse than politics or porn, Alice has been increasingly using the web to explore the montage techniques of seminal Soviet experimental filmmaker Lev Vladimirovich Kuleshov. If she gets to the explorations of inner motivations and emotions as propounded by Vsevolod Pudovkin, the internet becomes an ouroboros (with weird aliens). Somebody stop her before it’s too late!
H&L: In the ‘Thank God for small favors’ dept., just be grateful Hi isn’t pointing at a toilet.
JP: Picture it – Our hometown, 2016 … When the readers could still follow our plot lines …
JP: Oh dear God, a flashback coming up! Or is Ces going back to 2016 and rebooting the whole thing again? Better luck this time.
Alice makes more sense when you realize it started as the funniest comic strip in Architectural Digest.
Alice: I think that caption is the closest thing to an artist finishing a strip with “Wait… why’d I draw this?” I’ve ever seen.
MW: Moy to Brigman;
“Maybe we should show some people since they’re mentioned in the dialogue?”
B: “Stop busting my balls.”
MW: The house seems nice. I hope Wilbur won’t have to drive very far to look in the windows.
@Bob Tice:
Two anagrams for Rex Morgan are Rex R.G. Moan and Rex M. Groan.
Mary Worth: I’m guessing these are in fact animatronic dolls given to Estelle to help ward off loneliness and dementia. Sadly, they can do nothing for hallucinations, such as the one about a happy second marriage. And when they’re possessed by the soul of an executed serial killer with a taste for human flesh, well, that’s when the Medicare billing issues kick in.
@Arabella: Killing me softly with her cake…with her cake….
@Cleveland Mocks: My anagram is CYSTARCH CUMROTS XLXI.
Slylock: The ghost retorts; “In the century I died, the living room was called a parlor. Try again, loser. (aside) The correct answer is ‘mushroom’.”
MW: I have no problem with the newlyweds being both on the same page with having simple, relaxed affairs with their friends–but I suspect they’re being too optimistic about how simple and relaxed these flings can be–but I draw the line on animals. Stell and Dr. Ed need to be locked up, those sickos.
Alice – Never mind “Who’d admit to that”; who would know that? “But Big Brother says I still need to boost it another 25% if I want to avoid being sent to Room 101.”
DT. Am I the only one who pictures Josh’s Border Patrol Marine stepbrother as Chet from “Weird Science,” giving Josh noogies and calling him a coastal elitist while forcing him to read “Dustin” and “Pluggers?” Might explain a lot.
B. Bailey: Dopey Beetle doesn’t get the hint when Sarge offers him a razor filled with short and curlies.
I have decided to give Alice a break since she’s a single mom living in Arizona and raising a teenaged son. That waitress salary can’t be something she can easily sustain herself on. Plus her boss is a bit of a dick.
Slylock – Well, if we’re doing little-kid jokes… Which room do the vampires hang out in? The bat room!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Admiral, can you take a break from telling your niece sea stories?”
“I suppose so”
“I know you’ve been after me to show you how to use this old camera”
“Hey, Abundio! No fair helping her escape!”
So who is G. *(&@$S@#! Thorp voting for?
Mary Worth: There never really were any other people at this “wedding,” were there? Nor groom neither. That’s what Estelle gets for hectoring a man with access to animal tranquillizers.
Alice – How thoughtful of (squints) Belzer to explain the joke to us at the bottom of the strip. Otherwise, it’s just a slice-of -life glimpse into the lives of two bizarrely drawn people.
MW: Floor? Really? Tell me, have you ever seen two cats and a dog on fire, running top speed and screaming bloody murder? Well Ed has, and he’s not about to let their beloved “animals” on the floor with a fire raging in a nearby open hearth.
@Lord Flatulence: You can leave as long as it is heteronormative. Settling down is fine, helping people in an underdeveloped country is not
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
So who is G. *(&@$S@#! Thorp voting for?
I have to assume that they’re discussing the City of Milford Comptroller race because I really don’t want to have to think about what Gil’s politics are. Especially as he’s the parent of a non-binary teen who legally (?) ended a pregnancy.
But it was kind of a weird bit to throw out there if they’re not planning to go further with it. I should check the archives, see if GT appears on 1/6/21. If not, there may be further questions.
The first time the cats and dog went ‘meow woof meow,’ everyone laughed. The fifth time elicited a chuckle. The tenth repetition was met with silence, the twenty-fifth with fear, and at the fiftieth ‘meow woof meow’ the party-goers fled in open terror, leaving Estelle and Ed alone with their pets. Their masters. Their gods.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: My anagram is “Duracell Teflon.”
@Cleveland Mocks: Rex and June missed a great opportunity to name their kids Fuchsia and Titus.
Alice: I’m guessing to the weird Cubist creatures that inhabit this strip, the doodle in the background is the equivalent of a freaky avant-garde Surrealist masterpiece.
DT: I mean, you falsely claim membership with a group whose name basically translates as “Murder Organization,” you get what you signed up for.
MW: Great, so a week of this, another week or two to praise Mary’s cake…we may have a new arc by Thanksgiving but I’m not betting on it.
MW: Just for laughs, I tried to hold a champagne glass using Brigman’s “cell phone” method, which BTW I’ve also tried to reproduce in my physics lab, whenever the characters struggle to communicate with each other using that newfangled technology. And now, one shattered Waterford crystal Lismore flute and several iPhones later, I’m here to tell you: It. Can’t. Be. Done.
GT: “Daddy? Why did you just drop off Jamie at school? It’s Sunday, no one’s there.”
“He’ll never notice. Let’s go to Denny’s.”
“But I clearly have an eating disorder.”
“More for me then.”
MW: “…our close friends and animals. And Wilbur.”
Dick Tracy: Y’know, typically criminal organizations so obsessed with secrecy that they’ll kill any of their number who get arrested to keep them from squealing to the cops don’t also hand out business cards with all the organization’s identifying contact information. That’d be a little oxymoronic. Just saying.
Mary Worth: Made a joke about it a few days ago, but I’m legit starting to get weirded out by how Estelle’s pets are pretty much always just lined up like this, staring at her and her paramour like some kind of judgmental totems, or perhaps like scanners preparing to blow up their heads if they’re displeased.
@Lord Flatulence: You win. (An anagram for my other name, the one I use in real life, is HENRY WETSLOT.)
C’shaft: Great idea! You haven’t reduced the number of routes or stops in any way, you’ve just made everything more inconvenient for everybody concerned.
Dustin: Hey Dustdad, what exactly are you contributing to this household? You’re not exactly earning a whole lot of legal fees sitting around the firm office and hogging the donuts in the break room.
GT: Gil basically up and admitted to Keri that he doesn’t give a crap about how the election might affect, say, a non-binary person who has been in need of an abortion in the past; I don’t blame them for jamming on their Beats headphones and cranking the volume.
JP: Neddy, I know Sophia Petrillo. I admire Sophia Petrillo. You, madame, are no Sophia Petrillo.
Luann: This strip reads like the posts from the most clueless AITA contributors in existence.
MT: I mean, the theoretical plan is to privatize the services NOAA provides, which would likely result in people needing to pay a subscription in order to access essential emergency weather information. And as Tim Curry said in Clue, what could be more American than that?
@Old School Allie Cat: Thanks for taking one for the team to check the Gil archives. Back then, under Rubin, Gil was an authoritarian narc. His politics may have changed under The Hammer.
And since you’re so magnanimous to do this, I’ll take one for the team and dive into the Trufans:
J. Scarbrough about 9 hours ago
“And please no more drama”? How clever of Tiff to offer in-universe commentary on how old, tired, and trite all this dorm drama has gotten over the last 2-3 years. Seriously, I think at this point, I’m just going to read LUANN on Sundays only from now on; I’m so done with weekly story arcs focusing on these insufferable Moony roomies.
beb01 about 9 hours ago
How exciting, Stefini is pouting like a two year old!
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace about 9 hours ago
Not a peaceable attitude.
Distract her.
Tell her that her sunny cheerleading moves
Seemed somewhat strangely slightly skewed.
9thCapricorn about 9 hours ago
Hmmm….perhaps Tiff will move back home after all. Staying at the quad with Stef isn’t worth the drama and it just got worse. Will other roomies follow her? But, first, Tiff gotta ask dad. He blew a fuse when he found out she had friends stay at the house during summer break when he was aboard.
[Does 9Cap mean with Tiffany’s dad was a broad?]
Mordock999 Premium Member about 9 hours ago
And sadly, these two ladies will just “put up with” Stef’s B-S, instead of going to the College Administration over this.
Or better yet, pushing Stef out of an open 10th floor window…….., ;-)
[Doesn’t Morcock69 mean College Management?]
If there’s a Homicide division in whatever police force Dick Tracy is at, and he isn’t in there then what division is he, and have he been freelancing all those murders he investigated? Is there like a “supervillains” department that overrides every other, homicide, vice, traffic control once a “character” is found to be running it, like in the comics Powers? I do wonder about those things.
MW: No days of praising Mary’s cake? No scenes of Wilbur moping? Bleah.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Docile Salt Alcohol. It’s kind of a great anagram.
@Erez: If there’s a Homicide division in whatever police force Dick Tracy is at, and he isn’t in there then what division is he, and have he been freelancing all those murders he investigated?
In all seriousness, I’d guess something like “Major Crimes” or “Criminal Investigations Division,” that is one step above homicide.
@T.H. Steady: As shown in that hit documentary The Wire.
RMMD-“Let’s just sit here and watch the leaves fall.”
MW-I’m assuming Wilbur was invited to fill out the animals portion.
I’m not so needy that I need to vulture the #69 spot so that Cumrots will mention me on Friday.
Sadly, being all Ls and Ks and vowels, I have no anagram.
Mary Worth – You know that tomorrow evening the newlyweds are going to eat dinner at that table. The menu is Boeuf Bourguignon with dog butt.
Frazz – That kid is going to give herself a headache trying to figure out whether to be smug about using paper cups or reusable tumblers.
Crankshaft – A local school district had a bus driver shortage around a year ago, and they told parents they had to transport their kids themselves for a short time.
Naturally, what Batiuk is doing makes no sense. Crankshaft will drive away without only half of the kids on his route.
@Baja Gaijin: Good catch on Mary’s dress. However, Estelle didn’t borrow it. The left shoulder of Mary’s dress is a different color from the rest of it.
I had a dress in that style in 1966. It was navy blue and had a white ruffle around the neckline. It did not have ruffles at the sleeves – I despise those.
@Cleveland Mocks: Re Crankshaft – It doesn’t make sense to me, either.
RMMD: If you can’t wait for this slow windup to a marriage proposal that was telegraphed miles away (or at least several hundred meters—I can’t tell how big this park is), wait no longer. Like your dumbass friend who tells the surprise-party honoree that he’s excited for the party, WaPo online jumped the gun by publishing Thursday’s strip on Monday morning:
https://imgur.com/OZze0lL
@Cleveland Mocks: You got it, CLAVEN LOCK MEDS.
@I speak Jive: If Crankshaft drove only half the kids on his route, that might be a higher percentage than usual for him. He is known for driving past children without picking them up.
@Joshua K.: I misread “without” instead of “with” in I speak Jive’s comment.
Estelle’s stilted, unconvincing declaration of enthusiasm for having her wedding dreams thwarted struck me as having something of a hostage-gun-to-her-back air about it. But factoring in her bridal getup, I believe we’re looking at a Stepford Wives situation. Here’s hoping robot Estelle makes better choices.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: HENRY WETSLOT! That’s a keeper.
@Peanut Gallery:
Parece que esta pobre mujer salió de la sartén y cayó al fuego.
MW:. Good one, Sid. You had us all a-twitter with rumors of Odin’s split with Pierre and Libby. Now we see it was nothing but a PR stunt. Though personally, I think that ruse is more up the lines of National Litterbox than you.
PHANTOM:. Wow, the DA actually sent the police. I was so afraid this young saboteur-freedom fighter was being tortured to give up the fact everyone on the team helped thwart Musk’s contrivance at universal dictatorship. I still don’t get why she hadn’t just bought and used an anonymous burner.
MW:. Good one, Did. You had us all a-twitter at Odin’s split from Libby and Pierre. Now we see it was joking st a PR rise.
PHANTOM:. Wow, the DA actually sent police. I was so afraid this young Patriot was being hurt to give up the fact everyone on the team had worked to prevent Musk’s universal dicktatorship. But can’t figure out why she didn’t just buy an anonymous burner.
I have a feeling I’m fortunate that I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
@Baja Gaijin:
Mary probably forced the dress on Eshtelle.
MW: In the background, Wilbur is warbling “Is there a canopy in stooore foooor meeeeeee?”
Crank: So I finally decided to check back in here after peacing out very early in the book burning storyline, and yeesh. Like I get the joke is meant to be that this doesn’t actually make sense, but it only really works if a) you can see why someone might think it makes sense or b) it’s all surreal enough that “making sense” stops being part of the equation (and even that’s a risky play, as my continued irritation at Heathcliff testifies to). If neither of those things are the case — and they’re not — it just makes Lena look incredibly stupid.
JP: Reena derails the story — such as it is — by not knowing what’s going on, Neddy turns into Sophia from Golden Girls for some damn reason, and absolutely nothing progresses. All we need is a “Seasons pass” caption, and maybe a baseless accusation that inevitably turns out to be true, and we’d have the ultimate Francesco Marciuliano Judge Parker strip!
O&M: When I was a kid, it seemed like every story about bullying had the message “Bullies actually have low self-esteem and really you should feel sorry for them,” and I was never entirely sure that was true. More to the point, much as I tried to be a forgiving and understanding soul, I wasn’t particularly inclined to feel sorry for them even if it was. “Oh, you beat me up and stole my lunch because you have problems? Well, how selfish of me to only care about my own problems, like the pain and lack of lunch!” Anyway, the idea that at least some bullies are actually just arrogant jerks makes a lot of sense to me.
Phantom: “You’re under arrest for threatening this woman’s life!”
“Threatening her life? That’s a bit of an overstatement, isn’t it?”
“You were forcing her to get into that Tesli Robotruck, weren’t you?”
@Not Greg Evans: I hope they’ll live happily ever after and that Wanda will show us, sometime in the future, that she is willing to leave the house once in a great while with her hair looking just a little more, um, relaxed.
Alice (@Peanut Gallery): I think Alice might “know” this because her phone notifications tell her she’s had more screen time, or she’s still got a data plan that bills her extra when she goes over a limit.
RIP Quincy Jones. He was 91.
CS: Are we about to witness Crankshaft performing gender check on grade school children?
Phantom: A) the savage beating of the petite Latina is off the table now; or B) the police heartily join in.
@Horace Broon: Qu-est ce que O&M?
MW: So have the pets been trained to sing in harmony, or should we assume this is an arpeggio?
@Guillermo el chiclero: Q was the king of overproduction and prettification, the Phil Spector of jazz music. I never forgave him for what he did to Dinah Washington after she made some of the most raw and gutbuckety jazz/R&B recordings of the 1950s. Pretty much gave her a flea bath and shampoo and tied a pretty ribbon on her.
He could run for political office on that issue.
@Horace Broon: That’s the basic Judge Parker template. Something happens to a character, and then 90% of the plot after that is that character explaining to unrelated characters what just happened.
Mary Worth is going woke! Sure, Estelle-Ed is still very heteronormative, but this is only a cover to sneak in a two-cats-one-dog polycule!
A couple of months ago my phone told me, I seem to remember, my Internet use had gone up over 840%. Who would admit to that, Alice’s narrator? Someone who’s so rarely online they have no concept of there being people who spend so much time on their phones it’s embarrassing to talk about, maybe? I reached that impressive figure just by spending most days in front of my desktop, but if you just use a smartphone a moderate amount and don’t know anything about Internet culture and don’t know anything about the devices you use beyond what they tell you themselves, I can see how someone would arrive at that 75% figure and publicly phrase it in such a way that a cartoonist would overhear it and turn it into this strip.
@72 I speak Jive: Damn you and your good eyes! I did recolor the dress. I meant to go back and get that tiny shoulder. Still, it’s the same dress design Mary wore at the other wedding.
@83 Ukranazi Stepan: Estelle couldn’t possibly fit the one in her WilburSmooch dream into this tiny living room.
@Violet: Fortunately, Abundio is small enough that she can just pick him up and heave him into the ocean.
@Jym Dyer: I’m a Luddite with a desktop computer and no smartphone, so that’s all black magic to me! :-)
LUANN: Wait a minute. The door with the sign on it is the door to Tiffany’s dorm suite, right? The dorm suite that she paid to live in despite having her own handy local mansion? Leaving that bizarre decision aside, are the Evansii even aware that Tiffany cannot be excluded from a room or suite that she paid for? I’ve always considered JUDGE JUDY to be a kitchen-work indulgence, but Evansii, maybe you should watch some old episodes and learn a few things.
@Poteet: I hope the bride grabs the glass from Wilbur and breaks it on his head.
@Baja Gaijin: It looks like Mary owns only two outfits – that ruffled dress for special occasions and her everyday meddle uniform of the purple cowlneck and pants.
I wouldn’t have caught the color difference before I had cataract surgery.
@Peanut Gallery: I’m that kind of Luddite myself. What you said:-)!
Both the phrase “Internet viewing” and the plasma screen suggest Alice is referring to streaming services, specifically the branded streamer Prell Shampoo has, centered around their old ads.
@Cleveland Mocks: Oh, how I hope this does not turn into an actual batcrap-crazy storyline.
@Poteet: Wanda has made at least a start by going outside without her white diner tiara.
Alice: “Yea…..my big modeling gig ended when Picasso died.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Old School Allie Cat: Thanks for taking one for the team to check the Gil archives. Back then, under Rubin, Gil was an authoritarian narc.
__________________________________________
Then Rubin eased up a bit, once he started managing The Part Rage Family.
@62 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Does this mean the creepy disgusting bizarre common room fuck tent will be dismantled? Man, that was creepy, disgusting, and bizarre.
JP: Hank is now realizing, with dread, that Alaska is not nearly remote enough, and that he possibly needs to go camp on one of the Kerguelen Islands.
@Myrtle: Bwahaha!
MW: And as Estelle and Dr. Ed gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes, Mary, Wilbur, and Dr. Drew magically transform back to their animal bodies. The end.
Tip for Alice: Open Settings app, tap Screen Time, tap App & Website Activity, tap Turn Off.
MW: You know, Karen, you can just show the pets sitting there quietly. It’s pretty damn annoying having them vocalize in response to every sentence by their owners. Oh well, it’s still better than when Stel sobbed in her own thought bubble.
LUANN: Oh goody, more low-stakes drama in
cell blockdorm building B. Right now Stef is adding Tiffany to her Burn Book.Crankshaft: With that map Lena has, I wish they would have done one of those Billy dotted lines from Family Circlejerk. Wouldn’t have made any more sense, but it would have made it a little more fun.
@I speak Jive: @Baja Gaijin: Good catch on Mary’s dress
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So, Instead of a bouquet, the wedding party stripped Mary and threw her clothes into the crowd? What a wacky idea! Good catch indeed, Baja! How much are you gonna sell her Underoos for on Ebay?
@Baja Gaijin: Hey, man, don’t forget the jizz towel.
The comment on Alice is especially telling to me because I am in the middle of teaching a couple of papers about social medias/fake news/echo chambers from 2017-8, and both of them mention the Comet Ping-Pong guy, and also both of them are full of “you don’t know what the next eight years will be like” moments like the first one suggesting that one of the ways to fix the fake news problem would be for social media platforms to start acting responsibly.
Beetle Bailey-Sarge doesn’t want you to shave your face, Beetle.
MW: So all is well with our Terrific Trio today – peace and harmony prevail! And no, their tiff wasn’t just a publicity stunt. We were able to get some concessions from Management for Odin that ensured his professional participation in the story line.
He’s been promoted from a recurring, supporting role to a series regular! You notice he got in a MEOW today… And they’ve worked out all the details of their new sleeping, eating, and living arrangements in the merged household. That’s only on the set, of course. Odin still has his own condo at the Cat Complex in real life…
And don’t worry about them sitting on that “table” – it’s really a window bench they can use to look outside. They removed the cushion for today since it clashed with the wedding color scheme. And there are built-in steps for Pierre that you can’t see… nobody would expect him to jump up there.
@Ukulele Ike:
#90. PHANTOM:. Instead of beating I used the t0rtur word and got blocked. So had to quickly rewrite my prior msg, hence the typos. Apparently these two goons have bought into idea they’re part of a sovereign nation.
Now I see why the writer has not written his explanation of this arc. Current political events are fitting right into Mr. Mollusk’s world view.
6Cx: Yes, those are our clients starring today in this politically-adjacent one-panel. And they’re doin’ a great job being non-partisan and all. They’re not even responding to the dog whistle. That’s professionalism for you. Dogs are good.
Six Chix And A Cat Named Clawed Marx In Search Of A Punchline: Childless Dog Men?!? So Pluggers rule the election? Which Swing state is the Plugger State, anyway? Florida? Ohio? Pennsylvania? Mooseissippi?
I just came by to drop this here.
Oh, good job, @1 Baja Gaijin: And yes, that’s Mary’s dress Estelle is wearing at her wedding.
@Baja Gaijin: re mashup: “Something borrowed, something blue” Mary lends out her special occasion dress but never her pearls.
@114 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I’m desperately trying to forget THAT.
@121 Sequitur: linked content: SQUEEE!!! Welcome back! It’s been a long couple of weeks.
@Ukulele Ike: #92: But Q got to boink Julie of Mod Squad on a regular basis.
A lot of people get on Phil Spector’s case for his “wall of sound” and his sweetening and prettification of music that should’ve of been left edgier (Let’s not even go into him killing that B-movie actress). One must remember that the “Let it Be” album would’ve never gotten released if not for Spector. By that time Lennon and McCartney weren’t even on speaking terms and recorded their parts separately. Lennon then dumped the piles of tapes on Spector’s lap and told him to make something of them. Sometime in the 90s the album was re-released as “Let it Be-Unplugged” minus all of Spector’s audio tricks.
@Poteet: Also, isn’t Bernice an RA? Seems to me like this “drama” is just a matter of getting her to tell Stef, “Yeah sorry, we can maybe try to get new room arrangements if you want but you can’t just post a ‘keep out’ sign on your dorm room like you’re seven.”
Of course, that would entail treating these characters like young adults and not overgrown preteens…
@ectojazzmage: @Bryan: It’s kind of amazing that, despite vast swaths of the Internet devoted to documenting cats and dogs doing cute, funny, or weird things, Karen Moy can’t think of anything to do with them besides having them sit around barking and meowing, or occasionally go out for a walk while barking and meowing.
@TheDiva: Nah, remember, Bernice lost her dorm Nazi job years ago, for reasons. That’s why she’s freeloading at Luann’s, and showing her gratitude by subjecting her to constant abuse.
Alice, 11/4/24: So Alice’s boyfriend is Cheap Trick’s Rick Nielsen? SOUNDS LIKE A MATCH TO ME!
Dustin: I’m looking forward to seeing Dustin moving into a homeless encampment under a bridge and then also being kicked out of there for being too lazy and obnoxious.
@Baja Gaijin: #1
Good heavens – you’re right Stell *is* wearing Mary’s dress!!!!! Was that one of the conditions for Mary giving her imprimatur to Stell and Ed’s nuptials? I would not in the least be surprised.
@Baja Gaijin: I just checked the strips from the wedding, and Mary is wearing a purple dress with a black collar and white buttons. At least I think it’s a dress – everyone is shown from the waist up. It’s like the last days of Apartment 3-G.
Maybe Mary did lend Estelle that dress. I guess Dr. Ed was too busy euthanizing puppies to go along shopping for a new dress.
@131 I speak Jive: This is the strip I recolored.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Belays Woe
Alice: Judging by the images on the wall (video monitor? painting?), we’re doing a mirror-universe remake of the Twilight Zone episode Eye of the Beholder except without the bandages. Who is to say that Alice isn’t the beautiful one????
@Baja Gaijin: Thanks. Mary’s dress was originally purple, and Estelle’s wedding dress was light blue. So, either Mary dyed the dress before she loaned it to Estelle, or there are two versions of that ugly dress in Charterstone.
@135 I speak Jive: Mary or Estelle washed the dress in bleach a few times?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: You win. (An anagram for my other name, the one I use in real life, is HENRY WETSLOT.)
Mine is Fukwad Reamer.
@Professor Well Actually: MW: why is Ed wearing that ridiculous baggy purple suit from Goodwill
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He skinned the Grimace™ that was under his care.
@Sequitur: I just came by to drop this here.
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The song Arrowsmith played just before Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees beat them up.
@Maude R. Fawker: Mine is Fukwad Reamer.
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by The Monkees.
@Baja Gaijin: Mary:”I shudda stuffed a can of V-8™ down his throat!”
@Baja Gaijin: 135 I speak Jive: Mary or Estelle washed the dress in bleach a few times?
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The one Wilburp wore when they were doing the Misses Doubtfire foreplay cosplay?
Dick Tracy:
“Did the stiff work for the Totten Insurance Group, or was he employed by the surviving structure of the Third Reich’s Organisation Todt? Because if he was a neo-Nazi I think the cops would have left him alone, but if he was a claims adjuster in Totten Group’s ‘Violent Attack Lite’ division serving the Hospitality industry, or even just an aggressively difficult member of the Snow Removal Contractors policy group, I could see a lot of people wanting him dead.
@GarrisonSkunk:
I am wondering, does the picture hanging on the wall showing people with strong chins and jawlines, in contrast to the chinless Alice-people, equate to their version of Picasso?
Anagramatically, I am so many things, I probably shouldn’t even RELATE ANY GULP of it. But as a LATERAL PEN GUY, I can’t resist. I am LARGELY PEANUT, I am REGALLY PEANUT, so skip this if you have a PEANUT ALLERGY.
A PEAL URGENTLY and A PLEA URGENTLY summon you to take A LEAP URGENTLY to my PUNY GLEE ALTAR, my ELEGY PUN ALTAR! Take out your EARPLUG NEATLY, listen to my GALA REPLY TUNE, and add up my EAGER PUN TALLY.
I am vast, I am PLANETARY GLUE, I am the ETERNAL ALP GUY.
In the animal kingdom I am known as the TANAGER PULLEY, your RUNTY EAGLE PAL, a TRULY PAGAN EEL, and an ARENA TYPE GULL.
If you dine with me, be warned, I’m A GLUTEN PLAYER and I’ll serve you A PENALTY GRUEL.
In sum, I am PURELY A TANGLE.
@TheDiva: I suddenly have an urge to revisit that old Oliver Reed/Diana Rigg chestnut, The Assassination Bureau.
@146 Peanut Gallery:
I won’t try to fool you for I am RUSE QUIT.
@Ukulele Ike: #147: My sister had a crush on Oliver Reed until she found out what a boozehound he was. Even Lee Marvin admitted that Reed was the only man who could drink him under the table.
@Baja Gaijin: Obviously there’s only one style for dress-up events in the Charterstone Dresses-R-Us! It comes in a few colors but there’s no way out of the ruffles.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Hanky Panky Spanky Hanky!
@I speak Jive: There is a storage room in the basement of Charterstone that is actually a big walk-in closet full of fugly clothes, and it is called “MARY’S SPECIAL CLOSET.” It puts the “low” in “loan.”
@Sequitur: Happy to see you again!
@Guillermo el chiclero: Reed was a scary dude. If your sister liked Bad Boys I can understand the attraction.
He was of that generation — Richard Burton, Peter O’Toole, Richard Harris — which constituted the Great Drunken 1960s British Actors Guild. They all radiated Sex Appeal, even when the oceans of Scotch whisky wilted their ability to perform in the sack.