One-panel Wednesday
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Hagar the Horrible, 11/6/24
Not really sure what to make of the wordbuilding behind this one. Are we meant to believe that a wily group of forest Finns are seeking to ambush Hagar and his warband, whose latest raiding expedition is traveling into unfamiliar territory? Or is this literally a region where bears have evolved intelligence and rudimentary forms of performance, and their wiles are about to lure the gang to either an untimely death or a truly disturbing sexual awakening? At any rate, if these guys miss Paris so much, I guess they shouldn’t have burned it down.
Dennis the Menace, 11/6/24
Based on the looks the Wilsons are exchanging, this is the beginning of some kind of sexual roleplay. “You paid for the hat, is there anything I can do for you in return?” “Well, maybe…” Presumably the reason George is always so pissed at Dennis’s constant presence is because it cramps their erotic style, whereas Martha actually likes the fact that they need to speak in code, it makes the whole thing more thrilling to her.
Family Circus, 11/6/24
It’s because he’s very stupid, OK? It’s probably not going to help but if you have any better ideas I’d sure like to hear them!!!!
40 replies to “One-panel Wednesday”
FC: To be fair, “Why are you brainwashing [name]?” could be the caption of 90% of Family Circus strips.
DTM: Dennis the Menace is so old that its funny old-person fashions have looped around and become cool again. All the influencers are wearing hats like that now. Martha is brim-based and strawpilled. She’s in her panama era. Absolutely shademaxing. Out to get railed in a sun hat.
FC:
“Does this mean now that if I flash Jeffy the Queen of Diamonds, he’ll do whatever I want?”
DtM:
Mrs. Wilson is morphing into Mrs. Doubtfire.
HtH – Once I read Josh’s comment about “bears (having) evolved intelligence,” I went back and scanned the panel to look for Slylock Fox.
HTH- at the end of the Viking era, Beserkers gave up on the whole ” just charge recklessly at the enemy” thing
The really disturbing implication here is that Dolly has never had her hair washed. She probably doesn’t even need that hair tie any more at this point.
MW: Wilbur goes home to find Willa floating.
RMMD: If I’m not mistaken, “you all” is properly used when addressing more than one person. Has Truck been faking folksy? If so, PLEASE lose those sideburns!
HtH: That Lucky Eddie’s first thought is Le Can-Can and not a possible ambush is sufficient reason to relegate him to the rear.
DtM: Pink cheeks vs red nose. Nothing’s happening here without a blue pill.
HtH – They never let you lead do they, Lucky Eddie….
DtM – The hat purchase reference is code for this nation has gone to hell….
FC – This torturing effort at humor leaves me bored…you could even say water bored….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
HtH: Oh hey, this is actually some kinda-sorta history! The Anglo-Saxons built tumuli to bury their dead and there probably would been some overlap in the later use of the practice and the early years of Viking raids, and who’s to say they never used them as traps that also doubled as efficient body disposal by simply moving the rocks already conveniently placed at the entrance? The part about the dancing bears is pure nonsense, however. In that period they used juggling sheep.
JP: Remember when Declan stood by Neddy’s side during the entire ordeal of her being targeted for murder by a massive global criminal organization? As always, no, you are not allowed to remember that. So instead Hank (the clothing factory’s structural design engineer) gets the sole credit for silently standing next to Neddy (the clothing factory’s fashion designer) as she fielded the scary media questions and (somehow, allegedly) took all the blame about the structural design issues of the deathtrap Hank built. Now that’s a real man of character. Anyway, enough of that because it’s been almost three minutes since Glen spoke to Sophie so he’s texting her. Remember, Lucas is the obsessive and clingy one because that’s what Sophie and Reena said in spite of Lucas’s actual behavior. This pestering neediness from Glen is fine, though, because… because.
MW: “Animal circus” may just yet be the best euphemism for pubic lice I’ve ever heard.
HtH: So….they’re like strippers, right? I mean, I don’t know if a bear can strip per se, but like burlesque/sexy dancing? That’s what’s going on here?
DtM: “…and the dress, and the house and everything. It’s like 1962 or something, so I don’t work and my household work isn’t really counted.”
FC: Uh-oh, Dolly has denounced her mother for spreading lies about this so-called ‘germ theory’. SHe’ll be reported to the high council soon and banishment is sure to follow.
CS: Amazon is transporting schoolkids! Ha ha! Batiuk has discovered a comedy gold mine with this driver shortage crisis. Coming tomorrow: the mailman drops off a kid!
BB: Beetle’s puzzling reply suggests that he just had a stroke or something.
Frazz: “I personally don’t enter big competitive marathons because it cheapens the sacrament of running. And if for some reason I did, I would NEVER wear a medal for it; that’s just obscene. I prefer to live right here in my own head, where I am the purest narcissist who has ever existed.”
FC: Perhaps Dolly is unfamiliar with this process, having had her hair in a ponytail that has never been unbound for as long as she can remember. Every strand glued so tightly into place her her eyebrows keep trying to make a run for it. Not even able to sleep on her back. Thel has never regretted choosing that good old fashioned Johnson’s Baby Shamglue.
FC: The original caption was funnier.
Dolly pointing; “I hope that’s not the same water you washed his ass with.”
MW: Wilbur’s face of dismay definitely makes it appear that there’s going to be some meddling by him, some sabotage, or perhaps some low-key stalking? Also, his displeasure makes me happy.
H&L: The gag doesn’t work with Trixie as audience proxy unless that audience consists of Jeffy.
Hagar the Horrible – The Vikings still live in a world steeped in non-monotheistic paganism, so it’s not outside the norm for them to stumble upon the uncanny, the fantastic, and the unexpected. Rushing a well fortified castle is routine, and the curses of the priests and their chivalric knights about the future of their souls is nothing but hot air. But oddities like this are to be approach with caution, respect, and foreboding.
Dennis the Menace – Mrs. Wilson really looks like an older Margaret here. While Dennis canonically is more attracted to Gina (as much as 5 year-olds can be), this act between the Wilsons is imprinting on Dennis. Sadly, he will misinterpret “playful teasing” with menacing, and his early dating life will be a mess.
Family Circus – Jeffy watched some secular media and came out of it with some naughty words. Washing his mouth out with soap doesn’t work since he’s a sommelier of the cleaning chemicals found under the sink, so a symbolic brain cleaning is needed instead.
FC-Got to have a brain to wash.
FC-“Mary Worth does a better job at brainwashing.”
MW-Wilbur’s upset because there’s no open bar.
DtM: Apart from this being a dated throwback to the time when the wife was expected to have no income of her own and therefore was entirely dependent on her husband for everything, even personal luxuries, aren’t the Wilsons retired? Technically Social Security paid for that hat.
FC: “I’m not, dear; that’s what the homeschooling is for.”
DtM: A child really being into the sexual escapades of the two seniors next door? The menace level chart doesn’t go that high.
That hat is fine? Normally cartoonists will draw some exaggerated chapeau with all sorts atrocious adornments when dipping their toes in the “women’s hats are ridiculously over-styled” trope but here is Mr. Wilson trying to hold in laughter from a normal hat with maybe a fancier band than we’d usually see but is nothing to guffaw about. The only conclusion I can come to is that Mr. Wilson is sundowning and thinks the top of Mrs. Wilson’s head actually disappears when she puts on a hat, making a bucket hat something that covers a literal bucket head and that’s hilarious to him.
@TheDiva:
aren’t the Wilsons retired? Technically Social Security paid for that hat.
Googling shows that postal workers hired before 1984 were in a different retirement system with the federal government, which Mr. Wilson certainly would have been in
CS – I’ve always wondered what Charlie Brown would look like with a full head of hair.
C’shaft: “Mistah Prime? I hafta gotoda bafroom.”
“Milk jug’s under the seat, kiddo.”
JP: “Hey, we’re talking about MY convoluted relationship drama now, remember?”
MW: Some wine and cheese to go with your sour grapes, Wilbur?
RMMD: I never got the impression that Wanda was significantly younger than Truck, just that she wore it better (apart from her extra-in-Hairspray bouffant, I mean).
DtM: Based on George’s lifelong grumpiness, I had assumed his approach to marital sex was finishing in a few seconds, rolling over, and going to sleep, leaving Martha awake, unsatisfied, and miserable. Dennis’ constant presence might be all her doing, forcing a distraction on George while she retreats to the bedroom to, well, do it for herself.
@Weaselboy: It always seemed odd to me that Charlie Brown had no hair but his father was a barber. Did his father shave him nearly bald, or was he naturally hairless and his father was denied the opportunity to ply his craft upon his son?
HtH — Ah, yes, the Mermaids of the Seine! Many a ducat Eddie has spent taking in that floor show. A couple of bears in a poorly lit cave just isn’t going to do it for him.
Hagar is oddly curious about an avant-garde production of Plato’s allegory of the cave put on by medieval furries. Not exactly his cup of tea, Lucky Eddie much prefers the French enlightenment and their belief in the power of reason.
@jroggs, JP: My brain hurts remembering that. Not your fault.
You think, somehow, April will return, accompanied by Declan who will finally get to explain his side…?
I interpreted today’s Hagar to be a joke about Napoleon. Not a good one, but certainly an attempt.
Have a wonderful day everyone! Today is going to be awesome!
JP: Didn’t Hank have brown hair and a beard? Who’s this guy?
Dennis the Menace: The smug look on Dennis’ face here shows that he’s currently menacing his own parents just by being here. The message he’s sending is, “How boring must you two be if I’d rather hang around with our elderly neighbors all day, listening to their inane jokes without a single cookie in sight, than spend any time at home? Pretty damn boring, I would say!”
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if your eyes don’t work and you also have no feeling in your fingers, and dude, see a doctor already!
DtM: George laughs when he thinks back to Milton Berle wearing the same hat on the Texaco Star Theater show which is when he bought the hat for Martha. “Don’t laugh, George. In 1952 dollars, this hat cost you $1200.”
@Weaselboy: @Tom T.: I’ve always wondered what Charlie Brown would look like with a full head of hair.
It always seemed odd to me that Charlie Brown had no hair but his father was a barber. Did his father shave him nearly bald, or was he naturally hairless and his father was denied the opportunity to ply his craft upon his son?
He has hair. Schulz told NPR’s Terry Gross in a 1990 interview that: “I don’t think of it as not having hair. I think of it as being hair that is so blond that it’s not seen very clearly, that’s all.” So Charlie Brown is a super blond kid with a crew cut.
FC – “This is a new shampoo. What does R – I – D spell?”
Mary Worth – Wilbur is right. The cutesy shit with the animals singing is excruciating.
Frazz – He’s walking that way because he’s sore from all that running. You obviously don’t run, or you’d know that. You’d also know how superior he is because he runs.
Curtis: “You young people are the hope for the future” because we need your technological proficiency to keep electing octogenarians in our government.
Dustin: Surprisingly nobody wants to hire a person who is whiny, lazy, inexperienced, and has an undue sense of self entitlement. Go figure. The other day Dustin’s father finally told him that he had to get a job and start contributing financially for his room and board. Looking forward to seeing him move into a homeless encampment and get kicked out for being too lazy and obnoxious.
@jroggs: Re JP – I vividly remember the sinkhole, but my memory is fuzzy on the brouhaha afterwards. I dimly remember that Neddy took a lot of the blame, but didn’t Godiva get blamed, too?
That story was a shitshow. Everything about it was abominable, and every character behaved atrociously.
Hagar The Horrible: Hagar and company debate whether or not to do battle with a bunch of buff, hairy gay men.
Family Circus: Dolly questions the dogma and has learned what brainwashing is, which means she’s going into The Box until she learns to stop questioning the law of the Keane Kompound.
For the “Dennis” gag to work, Martha should have been wearing some outrageous Carmen Miranda type hat. As it is, it’s just a hat. It’s not a funny hat. Tom Batiuk could have designed that hat.
@I speak Jive: Taking over a comic strip that had sunken into the ludicrous and dumping the entire plot into a literal sinkhole? I call that “audacious,” and I applauded Ces at the time. I still think it’s one of JP’s greatest moments, along with the Brooklyn sociology major in Paris.