Some might say the mythological Icarus loved the joy of flying a little too much
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Archie, 5/22/25
I dunno, Jughead, that looks more like blood to me. Presumably the LORD will be passing through to smite all those who harbor Archie in their house, and Mr. Lodge is making it clear that He should pass over the Lodge mansion, as it is Archie-free. Bad luck for Archie’s parents, I guess.
Dick Tracy, 5/22/25
“Dick Tracy” is kind of a funny name, but I think that if the comic strip didn’t exist and you were introduced to someone by that name, it wouldn’t cause you to pause and repeat it back with an “um” before it, like you think it’s weird. Especially if your name is “Icarus Lovejoy”! C’mon, man! Icarus Lovejoy!
B.C., 5/22/25
I can’t believe Johnny Hart’s heirs have allowed mention of the metric system in his beloved comic strip. I don’t care if you need to use “meter” to make the Fast and Furious wordplay work! We all know the metric system is the thin edge of the wedge of tyrannical one-world government and must be stopped at all costs.
172 replies to “Some might say the mythological Icarus loved the joy of flying a little too much”
This may also be the first use of “bite me” in an ostensibly Christian comic strip. Johnny Hart is probably spinning in his grave, at about a meter a second.
Mr. Lodge just doesn’t want any anarchists showing up.
Archie-“Why is it written in lamb’s blood?”
MW-“Plus I can do things to Wilbur that a fish can’t do.”
FC-Not your eggs, Dolly.
Archie-I was thinking of Passover too when I first read this.
Archie: I love the naive optimism of Archie, who assumes that, by some incredible coincidence, Mr Lodge has just been ‘not in the mood to deal with him’ every single time he’s entered his house, but still believes that there are frequent and lasting periods where Mr Lodge would be totally jazzed to see him and his idiot friend stroll up to his front door, and that Archie’s only problem is keying in to those times.
DT: Dick Tracy doesn’t like to bias himself when he enters a new potential crime scene, so he enters the room eyes closed and tries to taste impropriety in the air.
BC: Ha, did you ever think about how snails are slow, and so are turtles? You did? Ok then, carry on.
Since Archie’s only interest in the house is Veronica, Mr Lodge is saying “No Ass” here boy.
MW: Oh, you need companionship in your life, Wilbur? You’ve been shtupping this much younger, out-of-your league girl for two months now. After that insult, Belle has far more incentive to kill you than Dawn. Lucky for you she was too stupid/drugged up/mentally ill to notice.
Luann: Should I propose to a man with a medical career path, when I’m basing my life around being handed a part-time job at Weenie Hut? Uh, yeah, Luann, you probably should.
Pluggers: Pluggers enjoyed Carlin On Campus.
CS: He’s going to rub one out, isn’t he?
DT: He’s saying “Um… Dick Tracy”, but he’s thinking “There’s an 80% chance I’ll be shot in the next five minutes.”
All praise to the Dick Tracy artist, who managed to make a convincing cop entering your house in a menacing fashion out of a man wearing a green blazer and bowler and a red bow tie.
I like Sam’s look off to the side there in panel 2.
“A velvet Elvis, man? Really? This Icarus needs to fly too close to some taste, am I right?”
RMMD: Again with the cake? I assume they will be seating Rex at the children’s table.
MW: Twenty minutes later, Wilbur finds Belle in the bathtub puckering up and saying, “Look, I’m Bellan! Feed me too, Wilbie Baby!”
GT: A forbidden seance? Gil participating in it? Coach Martinez accosting and threatening a student? School management is not going to be amused when this gets out. Pops must be smiling in his grave.
ARCHIE: It would be funny if, by banning Archie but having Jughead hanging around, Mr Lodge ended up worse than he began. I mean, teenage hormones, right?
MW: Belle has a point, Wilbur. Now go get her a crate and a water bowl.
RMMD: This is getting kind of sad. Is life really THAT dull for the Morgans?
GT: Gil promises to get everything under control. Everything promptly goes off a cliff. Now, there’s going to be a lawsuit.
B. Bailey: When I was a boy some sixty odd years ago, there was a serious movement in this country to change the national anthem to America the Beautiful. The movement fizzled into nothingness when people realized “what a tremendous waste of time” it was thinking about it. Today’s Beetle Bailey, however, shows that there are still a few diehards left. Keep up the good fight, boys and while you’re at it; what ever happened to that civil rights thing?
MW: Moy is grasping at straws to try and make people forget about Wilbur’s behavior last week by taking the trope “Viewers are Goldfish” literally.
JP: That’s Reena’s dad? At first I thought Rene Belluso managed to escape from Rex Morgan.
CS: Old Eugene is just Crankshaft in a fedora and trenchcoat. Remember Buck, the guy who befriended Bull Bushka in his final days? I say the flower shop lady is just Buck in a blonde wig.
FC: Sorry, Dolly. You just can’t handle eggs like those Morgan boys.
CS: “Oh, I certainly will enjoy these wisterias. I’m going drape them all around my body and then go over to that parking garage that replaced the ballroom and dive off the top.”
Pluggers: Uh, he does what now?
MW: Belle is starting to think that having to watch The Incredible Mr Limpet each time before they have sex is not an endearing quirk.
DT: So the tipster gave his name in the first entry of this new arc? Or did the MCU trace the call?
MW: These scenes are just setting the hook – we now see another side of the cluelessness that is Wilbur. First he lacks any sense of what is going on with Dawnie. Second he lacks general self preservation sense. Finally, he puts his own selfish concerns over common sense.
RMMD: Yes, no new backgrounds – just re-use prior night club backgrounds.
Nancy: First GT with live media coverage of games, now elementary school robotics contests.
@Cleveland Mocks:
Pluggers: Uh, he does what now?
Pluggers come into the store, and when they come back out, they wonder who came into their car… because now the seat is all sticky.
…Too far?Yeah, like now I’m damn near praying that there’s no cake at this wedding. Rex’s utter devastation will be the REAL delicious treat!
B.C.: In my day, “bite me” was understood as a euphemism for fellatio or @#!-munching or some darned thing, and an archaeopteryx was a flightless black bird, dadgummit!
DT: Silly names are a staple of the comic medium. But if naming a character “Icarus” is flying too close to the sun, should he have been named “Daedalus” instead ?
Also, “Bite my shiny metal @#!” > “Bite me” IYKYK
@Guts Dozier: I would have genuinely laughed if he’d been named “Stephen Daedalus.”
@Guts Dozier:
Nah, “Deadalus” is the name of the dead guy.
…Seriously though, to be named “Daedalus”, he’d have to be capable of imagining labyrinthine plans and devices, and this is Dick Tracy, where the “mysteries” are sub-Slylock
(or even sub-Inspector Danger!)but have a whole lot more shooting(Even under this more ‘tame’ creative team!)BC- This is America! We use Freedom Units, dammit!
LOLA: that toast is TOAST! That’s right, Lola, start easy.
JP: what’s the his about? We’ve done the hugging and tears things yesterday, and they’ll probably sit together on the flight across the pond. What’s up?
MF: the unmentionable makes a good point. My folks in a small town sold three BR for about $10,000. The buyers do need to commute 45 minutes.
6CX: time out in the park?
FC – Oh, no! Dolly took the eggs out of the refrigerator!
Mary Worth – Yep. Belle is going to attempt to murder Willa. First she was jealous of her boyfriend’s college age daughter, and now she’s jealous of his goldfish. She should be having second thoughts about being involved with a shlub who finds love and companionship from fish.
I hope she doesn’t succeed, because I really couldn’t take another fish funeral.
FC – Yes, I know that@Guillermo el chiclero: got there first with a Morgan boys reference, but I had to say it.
Dick Tracy-I’m surprised. Somebody did a swatting call and Dick Tracy’s response isn’t to firebomb the house but instead to visit the person the swatting was done on.
@Banana Jr. 6000: CS: He’s going to rub one out, isn’t he?
Deformed minds think alike. I had the same thought.
Meanwhile, switching strips: Wilbur’s gonna fuck that fish, isn’t he?
Archie: Well, we’ve had a plague of locusts — that’s Jughead and his voracious appetite — a plague of gnats (Midge), the mass death of livestock (Mrs. What’s-Her-Name and the high school cafeteria), and three days of darkness (Archie and his idiocy). We’re still missing quite a few plagues, but you can’t say the people of Riverdale weren’t warned (Moose will almost certainly be responsible for the river of blood).
Along with the Seven Words . . .
BC: This isn’t the ‘Gearhead Gertie’ crossover we expected, but needed.
RxMD: Maya from ‘Blondie’ is going to show up, and overshadow the entire event.
RxMD2: Later…
“Dearly beloved, we are….”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
“If anyone objects…”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
“Do you….”
“JUST SAY MAN AND WIFE! WE WANT CAKE”
“But it won’t be legal….”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
“Just kiss the bride.”
RxMD3: Later….
“Boy, these mixed nuts are great! Look! Someone’s going into anaphylaxis! I’ll go over to treat!”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
“If you can step aside, I can get medical…”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
Much later….
“Mister Foreman, have you reached a verdict?”
“On the charge of involuntary manslaughter, we find the defendants…”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
“Order! Order! Bailiff, remove the defendants from the court for their disruption.”
“Your Honor, they’re already in solitary.”
“CAKE! CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!”
I hope that Dawn tried to extend an olive branch over the bridge she burned and called her mother to try and explain the situation…except she does it in the same way she explained to Cathy (Ack!) by focusing more on the “she’s taking my dad’s attention away from me” and less on the “I don’t feel safe in my own home” aspects. Her mother will curtly tell her that Dawn should have thought about that possibility when she acted like an obnoxious boor in Connecticut eating messily and trying to get in her mom’s boyfriend’s pants right in front of her.
@I speak Jive: No one can handle another fish funeral that was pretty much Wilbur getting an undeserved emotional handjob for having a pathetic pity party.
Based solely his menacing posture in panel two, I get the sense that of all the Dick Tracy police, Sam Catchem is the most likely to cooperate with ICE. “Ah, Mr. Lovejoy, I see that you’re not a citizen of Neo-Chicago, only a green card holder. We’re going to have you deported…to the Land of the Leprechauns.“
@Needless Exposition: In Santa Royale, Dawn is the Town Bicycle. In Connecticut, she was the State Bicycle.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: That’s why we never saw what she was actually up to and instead we were “treated” to Wilbur and his open bathrobe.
Back in those wonderful days before Caller I.D., I was with a neighbor who was a few years older and more worldly. He called some woman and said, “Bite me! Blow me! Such [might have been fuck] me! Play with me!”
I didn’t understand the last one, not that I was totally familiar with the first few in there, and I thought “Play with me” meant playing a card game or a board game. Even so, I thought that was the funniest of the lot.
What’s with the coloring in The Family Circlejerk? If not for the cracked shell of the egg, it would look like Jeffy did both No. 1 and No. 2 on the kitchen floor (which he has probably done before).
If a cop in a bright yellow trench coat and fedora came in followed by an Irish-American stereotype, the only thing that would throw me off about his name is how unexpectedly normal-sounding it is. “I’m sorry, I thought you were going to say you’re ‘Tartrazine Lemon’ or something like that.”
***
It’s a comic where a snail and a turtle are both talking English to a bird, and the only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is how that starting gizmo is being powered thousands of years before electricity was first harnessed.
DT: “I say, yes, I *am* glad the police happened to stop by, I just woke up and wouldn’t you know – there’s a dead body of a stranger somehow in my home! Quite bewildering, didn’t know what to do, was about to make myself a cup of coffee before trying to look up some way to deal – you know, maybe a phone number to call…”
(I think we’re looking at a no-it-doesn’t-work-that-way “split personality” plot, where the guy called [and maybe stole? murdered? murdered and stole?] as one personality and now is another)
MW: This is where trying to do little time skips to match how it takes weeks to go over hours of story interaction *really* fails. This still barely makes sense if Belle arrived 2 or 3 days ago, making deadly tea and a couple of suppers. Then Belle hasn’t been around long to note just how much time Wilbur spends by that fish tank (not noting the fishy chats for *weeks*?), nobody would yet be weirded out about how long Belle has been gone from her job, and frankly even Wilbur has some idea that pets need to be cared for – if Belle had been there for weeks without contacting a pet sitter, why would he think she has pets?
BC: What is the tortoise bitching about? Didn’t he win the race with the hare? Know your classics, people!
CS:
“You’re my favorite customer.”
“Thanks a lot! Bye!”
Blondie: I was going to ask if the Baby Shark thing was a bit old to be current but too new to be retro. Then I realized that this may be any newspaper readers’ introduction to it.
MW: I like fish. I had a fish tank growing up and it was super fun, taught me a lot about responsibility. I have a dog now, and that dog provides me with a lot of love and companionship. But my fish…they did not do that. I love my dog. I owned fish. Wilbur THINKING that is grounds enough for people to run the hell away from him (“What exactly are you doing with the fish, ol’ Wilbur ol’ chap??”), but saying it out loud to a girlfriend who, because of her own crazy stuff is living with you…wow, dude…this is self-centered even for you.
And oh yeah, Belle is TOTALLY gonna try to kill Willa lol
Archie: The only times Mr. Lodge actively wants Archie around are as follows: 1. when Archie can be weaponized to run off someone else whom Mr. Lodge hates even worse, 2. to test out a potentially dangerous Lodge Corporation invention, 3. to serve as bait during a jewelry heist, 4. to solve the occasional mystery, 5. to keep Veronica from dating a college boy. (And yes, these are all real plots from the series.)
@CanuckDownSouth: This would imply that Wilbur thinks, I mean ACTUALLY THINKS, about any living human other than himself.
RMMD: Why does June have to talk to Rex like he’s a client in an adult daycare who is very reluctant to leave the facility to go on a field trip?
B.C.:
A snail crawls over to a house and manages to ring the doorbell. The occupant answers the door, looks at the snail, and — without so much as a word — kicks the snail 50 feet to the curb.
Four months later, the same doorbell rings again. The occupant answers the door. The snail says, “What the hell was that all about?”
RMMD:
“Cut the cake…pleeeeeeease!”
“Rex, who exactly do you think you are?????”
“Average, White, Bland!”
I cannot hold with all of this fish disparagement! Fish are smarter than people give them credit for, and they’re more than capable of forming bonds. Usually those bonds are with other fish…but it’s possible that a fish would befriend a human idiot out of sheer pity. It’s certainly more likely than these insane plots of women going to bed with Wilbur.
@Pozzo: Or The Anti-Christ.
@LTJpezcore1: Yes, Wilbur being oblivious for weeks could happen – but the time skip also doesn’t make sense for *Belle* to not notice the fishtank sessions. That’s really the cherry on top of the previously-noted “did Belle stop trying to kill Dawn, because Dawn isn’t smart or savvy enough to avoid ‘special’ dishes for weeks” and “hasn’t *anyone* asked Belle how she’s supposed to be a workaholic yet seems to have dropped her job for weeks now”
MW: The next day, after a horrified Wilbur discovers Willa struggling for life in the aquarium, he scoops her into the nearest container he can find and rushes his little BEST FRIEND to Santa Royale’s ANIMAL HOSPITAL. Like so many first-time clients of this town’s veterinary establishment, Wilbur is unaware that the patient survival rate at ANIMAL HOSPITAL is a daunting 4%.
Inside, Dr. Ed Harding dons a mask and carefully lifts Willa from the mayonnaise jar, wiping the gobbets of mayonnaise from her scales before placing her, gently, onto a wet cloth. Estelle hurries in to assist, using a sterilized dropper to apply water to the patient’s gills. Wilbur, suppressing a surge of jealousy and an unbidden movement in his loins as he watches his former girlfriend working so closely with her husband, hovers anxiously over his piscine pet.
“Can you save Willa, Doc?” Wilbur asks, a pleading tone in his voice. “What could have happened to her?”
“I don’t know, Wilbur,” Dr. Ed responds. “It looks like she’s been poisoned. Have you been feeding her special fish food lately?”
“No, no I haven’t! My girlfriend might have, but I can’t be sure. Will she make it? Please tell me you can save my little BEST FRIEND!”
Realizing that Wilbur is losing control, Dr. Ed gently covers the goldfish with a light cloth and, with Estelle’s help, ushers Wilbur out of the examination room. “You should wait out here, Wilbur. Believe me, we’ll do what we can to save Willa.”
Meanwhile, back in the examination room, and drawn by the enticing odor of fish, Libby the Cat jumps noiselessly onto the exam table and, with one claw extended, pulls back the cloth to reveal a tasty treat, satisfying her hunger and setting ANIMAL HOSPITAL’s patient survival rate to a new low of 3%.
@LTJpezcore1: As we’ve seen with Libby and Pierre, Wilbur cannot stand animals who are easily able to outsmart him. This also applies to Iris and Estelle who can only handle so much of his obnoxious behavior before deciding that enough is enough. It’s why fish are the perfect outlet for his narcissistic tendencies as they’re unable to do anything about it and why Dawn is the only human who cares about him because she’s a budding narcissist in the making and shares half his DNA.
Archie – If it’s done in newborn lamb’s blood, the detestable Archie will passover without inane humor attempts! All Praise Molock….
DT – Just in time for my classic pull my finger gag….
BC – Tack it up – tack it up – buddy gonna take a shit….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
DT: The last arc, which centered on an elaborate but ultimately unsuccessful hoax, had a villain with the telling name of Mr. Piltdown. This leads me to conclude that Icarus Lovejoy will fall to his death after attempting an escape in a recreation of Leonardo da Vinci’s ornithopter made with the same adhesive they use on Cybertruck panels.
MW: “Not really a pet person” teeheehee That’s funny! Belle told me that in real life she has a houseful of pets! A Python, some Scorpions, a (toothless, I hope) Piranha, and a huge Mastiff named Marty! It’s just so like her to open her heart to Animals that others consider unlovable! Shes says she wishes I could meet them!
More great panels of me today! I think I got the right mix of innocence and “loving response” – you think that’s easy when you’re playing against Wilbur? And the suspense is really building!! EVERYONE is now sure it’s gonna be curtains for me! The big question is how….
9CL: Ambrose Bierce you ain’t.
Speaking of Icarus and Daedalus, A friend of mine was watching a podcast about Dungeons and Dragons anecdotes, my friend has Asperger’s and tended to make up a lot of stuff, so I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t with him.
He mentioned this one guy playing a D&D campaign, where there was a magical being, if you piss her off, she’ll trap you in a giant maze that the player would take forever to find their way out, it would take thousands of years in-universe to find the exit (As you can’t die in the maze)
One player had a thought, “What if I played as a minotaur? As they can’t get lost in mazes”
So he played as a minotaur, entered the maze and it was literally just a very long straight line to the exit, that would take thousands of years to get to.
MW: If this story arc concludes with Belle learning to love due to Wilbur’s devotion to a goldfish, and fleeing back to Florida out of guilt, I will commit some sort of heinous crime.
C’shaft: “Never come into my shop again!” “I can’t make any promises…”
Dustin: “Great idea, Dad! Let me try: I know you have what it takes to do the bare minimum at your job, hog all the donuts in the break room, then come home and make Mom regret she ever married you in the first place.”
GT: So Milford has a zero-tolerance policy on sneaking up and startling people?
JP: “Come on, Soph, this is my last chance for a bittersweet sapphic interlude with my college roommate, and I’m not going to miss it!”
Luann: Great idea, Phil, I’m sure the nursing home has such ample and flexible staffing–especially for positions that require specific technical knowledge like administering dialysis–that you can just set your schedule to whatever the hell you want. It’s just like working from home, really!
MW: You know Belle, if you really want to kill anyone and anything that Wilbur might love more than you, eventually you’re going to have to realize that Wilbur doesn’t love anyone more than he loves himself. I’m just saying, you’d save us all a lot of time by addressing the root of the problem right now…
Pluggers are weirdly paranoid.
RMMD: “Maybe if we’re really lucky, they’ll pass out plastic flutes of that really cheap champagne that’s so dry you can barely swallow it for the wedding toast!”
@CanuckDownSouth: The job thing sure, but it DOES take a lot of time and energy to plan to kill, well, EVERYONE, ya know?
@Needless Exposition: This….is a great summation.
@Lauralot: At this point, I just want Belle to shove Wilbur’s head into the fish tank because he clearly wants to “sleep with the fishes.”
@Hibbleton: #12
IIRC, it was the late Senator Mark Hatfield who proposed “America the Beautiful’ as the national anthem because it was less bellicose than “Star Spangled Banner” and (paraphrasing the Senator) “reflected a mature society at peace with itself.” I never forgot his words.
JP: “Thank you, Mr. Holfield, but my stuff’s already with my folks in the car. We have servants to do that.”
Dick Tracy: This is probably the closest this comic has ever gotten to acknowledging that hardly anybody uses the “Dick” shortening of “Richard” anymore, not to mention why that is the case. Hopefully, Tracy will get the point and change his name to the much more respectable Penis Tracy.
Veronica has a blue streak
If I were a ruthless feudal overlord like Mr. Lodge, I’d be very hesitant to paint something that could be ignorantly or willfully misconstrued as an anarchy symbol on my door. Rivers of blood indeed!
Mr. Lodge: This is the secret society of NO ARCHIES
Archie: But you let Archie Bunker in.
Mr. Lodge: No ArchieS, we can have one.
(Archie Bunker sticks his head out the window): Go drown your sorrows at the chocolate shop, ya Meathead!
@Daisy: You ever see the lyrics to “La Marseillaise,” France’s national anthem? Woof!
@Lauralot: #60: You know that’s what’s going to happen, a whimper instead of a bang. Remember Trashlee and Ms. School Management? All were convinced off panel to not only cease and desist but quit their jobs and leave town like fugitives on the lam.
@TheDiva:
GT: So Milford has a zero-tolerance policy on sneaking up and startling people?
Milford has a zero-tolerance policy on BRINGING KITCHEN UTENSILS into class. Dressing up as ghost to prank the faculty probably is a detention-in-perpetuity offense.
@Guy “Aux armes, citoyens” Nerdlinger: France NEEDS a bellicose anthem. Look at all of the savage, barely-human enemies they’re had to battle over the years — the English….the Russians….the Germans….the Burkina Fasoians….the French aristocracy….
@TheDiva: The only Champagne served at Truck Tyler’s wedding will be longnecks of Miller High Life, the Champagne of bottled beers. Out of garbage cans filled with ice.
@The Rambling Otter:
I just got a funny look from somebody else at the store from laughing WAY too hard at this. I doff my hat, sirrah.
Archie – To be clear, Mr. Lodge is anti-Archie, not an anarchist.
Dick Tracy – Too be fair to Icarus, he is of the age to only be vaguely aware of Dick Tracy as media property, but not to actually know the details or lore.
B.C. – This is less Aesop’s Fables and more Aesop’s failed sequel
@A Grave Mind: They must have read too
@Veronica!:
Thank you so much for this information!
@Tabby Lavalamp: #40: In drag racing slang the “starting gizmo” is referred to as a Christmas tree.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I made a Photoshop version of today’s Crankshaft.
Luann: Gross. Phil’s never been shown to be supportive. He’s repeatedly been portrayed as aggressively condescending. He’s not a keeper. Karen Evans’ understanding of human behavior is down there with Karen Moy’s.
@Banana Jr. 6000: MW: Oh, you need companionship in your life, Wilbur? You’ve been shtupping this much younger, out-of-your league girl for two months now.
IS she supposed to be younger? The way Brigman draws women, with rare exception they all look to be about the same age (35), and same body type, regardless of their supposed age(s), with only differences in hair color/hair style. Hell, swap the hair helmets on Stella and Dawn and they’re basically the same person (which is really, really, creepy)
@Daisy:#65
I recall that anthem proposal but not Hatfield’s remark or the sense of it, good memory, and, uh…
MW: I only learned today that Wilbur is simple.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Awesome! Thanks.
Dick Tracy: From what I know about cops on TV, they always introduce themselves with their exact title to make sure the perps and skels give them the proper respect — and they get awfully peeved when they aren’t addressed correctly. (A suspect who refers to a detective as “officer” is sure to get a couple extra hours of grilling in the interrogation room.) I imagine that title would have even more importance if your first name is “Dick.” So it would be Detective Tracy or Inspector Tracy or Lieutenant Tracy or Detective Lieutenant Tracy — I have no idea what his actual rank is after 95 years on the force, and the equivalent number of citations for excessive violence.
@John Plugger Mellencamp: Nothing canonical, but it’s highly likely that the name Belle was inspired by the 1991 Disney movie, which would make Belle no older than 33. Assuming that’s her real name.
According to ssa.gov, it’s only been in the top 1000 names since 2016 (and before 1934).
@Banana Jr. 6000: Good point. If there’s one thing Mary Worth is known for it is its realism.
@Situation Normal: On an episode of AMC’s short-lived “Turn: Washington’s Spies”, a group of British Army officers was drinking heavily at a pub and molesting the servant girls.
They started singing….and a few moments into the song, I realized they were singing “To Anacreon In Heaven”, an ode to a poet who wrote songs celebrating drinking.
“Anacreon” was the basis of the melody for “The Star-Spangled Banner”.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Belle strikes me as being in her early to mid forties but as we saw with Meghan, Wilbur has been preferring to get with women who were in grade school when his daughter was a toddler. He definitely thinks that he’s a total catch with women around Toby’s age (who is barely a decade older than Dawn) because his self esteem is so high that it’s tipping into delusional.
@Needless Exposition: Which would still be a little young for a schlub like Wilbur, who is easily in his 50’s. But “out of his league” is a hill I will die on.
@CanuckDownSouth: MW: frankly even Wilbur has some idea that pets need to be cared for – if Belle had been there for weeks without contacting a pet sitter, why would he think she has pets?
Maybe Wilbur thinks people treat pets the way he treats his advice columnist job: as something to be passed off to another for months at a time.
@Banana Jr. 6000: It’s clear that Wilbur is going through a midlife crisis except rather than taking the steps to work out, increase his testosterone, quit his job, and get a new car, he’s skipping all that hard work to just try and date much younger women. You know, because he thinks he’s as big of a stud as Zak except the only thing big about Wilbur besides his gut is his inflated ego.
Archie – Mr. Lodge is going to be put to a lot of trouble explaining to everyone the difference between an anarchist and an an-Archie-ist.
DT: After dealing with Icarus’s problem and waiting a whole hour in case their informant is going to turn up, and just forgot to let Icarus know about it, Dick solemnly contacts headquarters on his two-way wrist radio. “People, the moment we’ve always feared has arrived. The criminals have realised they can lie to us!”
FG: Gosh, I’m slow sometimes. I’ve just realised that “these tunnels run through time itself, and that drives people mad!” is setting up one possible explanation for Evil Balding Flash. Is it a red herring?
MW: Speaking of being slow sometimes, I’m starting to think the whole “Wilbur blows off the idea Bats is trying to kill Dawnie, but will absolutely come to the defence of his goldfish” scenario isn’t some absurd “even Moy wouldn’t really do that, but it’s funny to think about” idea, but is actually where this is going. And, of course, nobody will learn anything from this. Wilbur will pay brief lip-service to the idea he should have taken Dawn’s concerns seriously, Dawn will take this as evidence her father does care whether she’s murdered or not, and everyone will carry on as before.
@Horace Broon: And then Dawn will find some new man to try and get into the pants of, making the “Year of the Westons” less of a threat and more of a guarantee.
@Treetown: The tipster didn’t give his name, but did give the police his address (or rather, this address, which it now seems isn’t his after all) saying he wanted to give Dick his anonymous tip in person.
Really. That’s actually what happened.
@LTJpezcore1: In Wilbur’s defence, he did try having a dog, but the dog required too much attention, didn’t seem to like him much, and was only a hit with the ladies in the sense that a lady asked him if he knew literally anything about taking care of a dog. So Wilbur dumped the dog on his ex, who seems to like animals or whatever.
I started that sentence “In Wilbur’s defence”, and I’m not really sure why…
@BigTed: I think that people (unless they’re military, where their ranks are taken VERY seriously) who get hung up on titles really need to chill out.
I did love that one take Judge Judy did on it though.
Litigant: So, how should I address you, do I call you Maam, or Your Honor?
Judge Judy: I would prefer “Your Majesty” But Your Honor is fine.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Archaeopteryx is a genus of bird-like dinosaurs. I am an apteryx, a flightless bird with hairy feathers.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Rodney! I’ll bet you’re smuggling a frog in under your hat again!”
“I am not”
“Do you think I’m stupid? Take your hat off right now!”
“Very well, Uncle”
“But at this rate I’ll never turn into a beautiful princess!”
@Horace Broon: He got the dog for the purely selfish reasons of extremely petty revenge on a cat that literally told him to piss off and to try to “pick up chicks.” Hell, one of the first things he said to Pierre was a not so thinly veiled threat. Wilbur can’t even be bothered to get Dawn fixed let alone take care of a dog smarter than both of them combined.
@Horace Broon: Reminds me of that line in the Disney Seven Dwarves spin-off, where Queen Delightful says this gem of a line to the villains when they tried to harm her dog after an attempted kingdom takeover.
“You can be naughty with me, you can be naughty with my kingdom, but you cannot be naughty when it comes to my dog!”
6Cx: Yes, those are some of our Canine clients, playing against type as “Bad Dogs.” We agreed to this since they were to be represented as recognizable Dogs.. though I don’t know that them being in a Hot Dog cart sends quite the right message. Anyway, jobs are tough to find these days, and they all did get a free weiner as a bonus.
@Willa G. Fish: Willa, I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m afraid that “Belle” has you bamboozled. She’s not the sweet, kind person you seem to think, and you were wrong to trust The Ladies about this gig.
Yeah, I know you have a restraining order against me and my Intern, and that we’re not to come onto the MW set. And I’m afraid that Stellan, the love of your life, is pretty pissed at you for trying to upstage his death and funeral extravaganza. You need to come to your senses, girl. Wake up and smell the Drano….
Just a Public Service Announcement:
There is no character in Mary Worth named “Stella.”
There’s an Estelle, who people call “Stell” for short. No “Stella.”
@Astroboy: Looks like the Charterstone performance of A Streetcar Named Desire is canceled before it could begin…much to the delight of the audience.
RMMD-Since Rex won’t be having his way with the groom on his wedding night he’s hoping for cake.
Archie-Why is this day like any other?
@Astroboy: Me no like the Bastard British Units!
@Situation Normal: #83
Thanks! Yeah, that tidbit of information stuck to the wall of my brain without sliding down, as most things tend to do…
@The Rambling Otter:
Three Stooges:
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
“Soitenly, Judgie!”
“You will address the judge as Your Honor!”
“Soitenly, My Honor!”
“Not My Honor, Your Honor!”
“Why, don’t you like the guy?”
FG: Commenters on Seattle Times website are all aflutter over this mincing ponce being young Ming. What do WE say? Aside from
YOUNG MING YOUNG MING YOUNG MING hee hee hee
@A Grave Mind: Old joke: The scions of two rival kingdoms were forced by their parents to wed, even though they didn’t think much of each other. So the two kings sent a trusted knight to spy on the honeymoon night.
”First, the princess said ‘Sir, I offer you my honor.’ The prince answered, ‘Madam, I honor your offer.’ And it went on like that all night — honor, offer, honor, offer….”
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Is that Snoopy in the front corner? Are things that bad for him he’s taking whatever job he can find?
DT: I don’t follow DT so I’m coming at this cold, but I immediately assumed that Icarus had just woken up. There are various sayings about the dubious moral character and poor health prospects of people who stay up late and get up late, compared to the virtuous folks who are early to bed and early to rise. So I suppose this story will go on to reveal that Icarus is a serial killer or some such. Anyway, Icarus, if you have indeed just awoken and it is well past dawn, I already feel a sense of kinship with you. Until your heinous crimes are revealed.
@Guy “Aux armes, citoyens” Nerdlinger: #71
I, uh, just read them…holy moly!!! Excuse me while I dash home, lock the doors, close the blinds, turn off the lights and hide under my bed with the cat!
I prefer anthems like Finland’s:
Our Land
Our land, our land, our fatherland,
Sound loud, O name of worth!
No mount that meets the heaven’s band.
No hidden vale, no wavewashed strand.
Is loved, as is our native North. Our own forefathers’ earth.
Thy blossom, in the bud laid low,
Yet ripened shall upspring.
See! From our love once more shall grow
Thy light, thy joy, thy hope, thy glow!
And clearer yet one day shall ring The song our land shall sing.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: You are doing your best in regard to Willa, and thank you. There are none so blind as those who will not see.
@Charterstoned: #53
This is…perfection.
@Bob Tice: #48
BWWAAAHAHAH!!! Love it!
@Daisy: There has been some lively debate in France over whether that anthem should get new lyrics. And speaking of debates about French words, I myself strongly believe that the French should talk more slowly in TV dramas that will eventually be shown in the U.S, but so far, no luck. Merde.
@Ukulele Ike: In Dragon Quest IV, early on there is a King who wants to invade a neighbouring kingdom. But then it turns out that his Son is in love with the Daughter of the Kingdom he wants to invade. The King gives his blessing to their wedding, mostly because seeing as his bloodline will now be ruling the neighbouring kingdom, it saves him the trouble of invading at all.
The funny thing is though, the wedding takes place throughout the entire final chapter of the game (said chapter is very long ftr) whenever the heroes come back to the castle, it is still going on. The heroes even lampshade it “When is this wedding going to end?”
@Ukulele Ike:
Old? Literally Medieval! An admirably deep dive, UkI!
@The Rambling Otter: Oh my goodness. I just realized.
I ramble on with random stories, and facts that may not be correct.
I’m the Cliff Clavin of this site xD
The only correct fact is that you ramble, Clavin!
God, I loved that show.
@Daisy: #115: Even the Horst Wessel Lied or formal title, Die Fahne Hoch (The Flag Up High), the Nazi Party anthem, isn’t as violent as the French National Anthem.
@A Grave Mind: I felt sorry for Cliff honestly, there was a Cheers reunion episode in Frasier, where Frasier came back to Cheers for Cliff’s retirement party (in which he was also going to move away after he retires)
Everyone there was praising Frasier talking about how much they missed him and how awesome he was and such. So Cliff in private, confided to Frasier, that this upset him, as literally no-one had said anything positive about himself, despite being HIS day.
Frasier felt horrible for unintentionally stealing his thunder. And went to the rest of the group, saying that they should give Cliff the love that they gave him. But no-one wanted to, except Norm who was the only other person there who genuinely saw him as a friend but couldn’t say it because he didn’t want to “sound gay”
Carla then announces to the room “Everyone, when Cliff comes back in, pretend to like him, otherwise we’ll never get rid of him!”
Maybe it had a happy ending, I don’t know, as I didn’t see the end because it was getting too cringy/painful to watch. As Frasier typically tends to get…
Zippy – Now, just a cotton-pickin’ minute! In Canada, Ding Dongs are sold under the name “King Dons,” not “King Dongs.” And maybe this is the fault of the colorist, but the ones in the foreground look more like Whoopie Pies. I’m beginning to wonder if Griffy really knows his Hostess lore.
@The Rambling Otter:
Loved all of them, loved that one. Let’s face it, he was real, we’d hate Cliff.
@A Grave Mind: Wait, I just literally compared myself to a real life equivalent of…. oh my.
@The Rambling Otter: @A Grave Mind: But honestly I’m just joking around. I ramble because that’s what I do, whatever people may think of me for it, I don’t mind :3 I enjoy my time here regardless
@Cleveland Mocks: Jughead is canonically asexual.
You’re a warrior, Otter!
@TheDiva: Thank you. I thought I was the only one left alive who thought of Jonathan Gash’s antiques dealer!
And apparently there’s only two of us.
@Banana Jr. 6000: LUANN: Should I propose to a man with a medical career path, when I’m basing my life around being handed a part-time job at Weenie Hut? Uh, yeah, Luann, you probably should.
I wouldn’t call it a “career path” since he explicitly said he didn’t plan to get any more education than the short course he already did. There’s no further advancement in the medical field without schooling of some kind, so he’s already gone up the chain as far as he can. Not exactly a hot prospect.
@Buck Ripsnort: Classic Jughead wasn’t asexual, he was anti-woman. (It was the 1940s, and “asexuality” was definitely not in the mainstream comics lexicon.) In the late ‘80s, he started to date girls – which I’m sure had nothing to do with the AIDS crisis and Archie Comics panicking over possible homosexual implications.
@Buck Ripsnort: I knew Jonathan Gash, but am embarrassed to admit never read a Lovejoy novel or watched the teevee program.
Re: Jughead not having sex. What do you think he was doing with all those huge platters of hamburgers? Not even Dagwood could eat that many burgers. Clearly there was an ulterior motive for piling up that many hamburgers. Warm, juicy hamburgers.
OTOH, J. Wellington Wimpy COULD eat that many hamburgers, but only while he was wearing his rubber trousers. See the Thimble Theater 1934 post-“Plunder Island” story arc.
@Bryan: Still a step up for a part-time Weenie Hut table wiper.
I, for one, am boycotting B.C. from this point forward. Americans and Liberians need to unite against this pernicious communist metric propaganda!
@Banana Jr. 6000:
If Luann wants Phil’s salary, she could easily take the same online course he did. Everyone’s
INEXPLICABLYsaying she has tons of aptitude in the medical field, and in caretaking for the elderly in particular!Archie-“It’s blood alright,” Jughead says tasting his finger, “But nobody we know.”
@The Rambling Otter: and then some
Peanuts-Brooke McEldowney is the only one who finds this funny.
LUANN: Belle in MW has had “a few weeks” of opportunities to poison Dawn and has utterly failed, so nerts to her. But it’s not too late for you, Mrs. Horner! You could poison Luann, thereby saving her and us from another decade of her being an extremely irritating and bizarre version of nineteen. It would be merciful, really. Thank about it, Mrs. Horner, that’s all I’m asking.
@Batiuk’s Attic: But I never even met Rick…
Riverdale Threat Assessment Hierarchy
Anarchist (Threat Level 3) Taupe
Anti Christ (Threat Level 2) Beige
Archie Crap (Threat Level1) Mauve
@Buck Ripsnort: Three!
@Liam: Yeah, got to thinking of the original “Resident Evil” where Barry finds a puddle of blood. “I hope it isn’t Chris’s blood!” I swear I remember him tasting it, but whatever…
MT: In the first panel, a young raccoon desperately tries to figure out how to break the fourth wall and escape MT so she can find a better gig than this weird story. It’s touching, really.
RMMD – In re: Wedding Cake. I won my wedding cake in a silent auction for a fundraiser. I paid $50 for a 3 tier cake for 200 people. For my 100 person wedding. When we cut it, we were surrounded by small children, one of whom said, “Finally! We’ve been waiting all night for this.” I get it. It’s not like they could get any use out of the open bar – the cake was the highlight of the night for them. And it was damn good cake, too. Brides, listen to Auntie Old School: Fuck a bunch of fondant. Fondant is gross. A good baker can do great things with buttercream, which never disappoints.
@Veronica!: He wasn’t even really anti-women, (despite he was treated as such to the point where a Woman’s Rights group in the school would try to “turn him around”) because he was good friends with Betty and Veronica, and was kind to most of the teenage girls in town, even Ethel when she wasn’t being a creepy stalker (Especially if she had food)
He never acted hateful towards women, just towards dating them.
Well, actually I just recalled:
There was a comic where Mr. Weatherbee asked him to deliver a letter to Ms. Grundy in her classroom which was full of girls, Jughead kept trying to weasel his way out of it. Trick after trick… then at the end, an Air Raid siren goes off and the school has to evacuate to a safe zone.
Weatherbee: Okay, I know Jughead pulled this off… but how?
Archie: In addition to keeping his daughter’s unusually submissive boyfriend away, the sign also lets roaming bands of anarchists know that they can take their hijinks somewhere else. Not on Hiram Lodge’s watch!
DT: That definitely looks like the pencil thin mustache of the man who made the taunting phone call, but Icarus Lovejoy doesn’t seem to be playing dumb. Perhaps like his mythical namesake he melted his wax wings (brain) by flying too close to the sun (heroin).
@Veronica!: @The Rambling Otter:
Although… another comic, had Jughead absolutely covered with Hotdog’s hair on his shirt.
Saying that it was shedding season.
Reggie finds a red hair among the white ones.
Jughead says, that hair belongs to “Rusty” who Hotdog loves to play with. He asks Archie and Reggie if they want to meet Rusty.
Reggie: Why would we want to meet some stupid dog?
Jughead: Okay, your loss.
Jughead goes home alone and passes a house in the neighbourhood, “Hi Rusty”
A hot woman with long red hair throwing a frisbee for Hotdog “Hey Jughead!”
9CL: From the back Thorax’s hair looks like a wild toupee that for some reason doesn’t reach the top of the head. It’s not the most disturbing thing ever seen in this strip, but the competition is fierce on that front.
C-Shaft: “And whatever you do to that pot of wisterias, please don’t tell me about it!”
Dustin: As malignant status quos that will never be allowed to end go, I suspect that Dustin would trade his with the unseen hotbox guys in Crock.
GT: Never antagonize the burly multisport coach unless you have at least five ounces of muscle mass.
MW: Looks like everyone who’s waiting for Belle to realize that Wilbur isn’t worth living with—much less killing for—can continue to wait.
Phantom: “It’s breast that thigh get back to school before my grades start to naked woman.”
RMMD: June makes that cupping motion whenever she or Rex say the word “nuts.” It’s an old doctor joke.
S&S: The fat joke is egregious but I am curious as to how a town that seems to have a population of a few dozen came to have two Lily Laponds.
@29 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: “Wilbur’s gonna fuck that fish again, isn’t he?” You forgot a word there, pal.
@80 Banana Jr. 6000: Good one! and Ewwww!
@139 The Rambling Otter: I enjoy your time here too.
@Baja Gaijin: Awww, thanks :3
@Poteet: I’ll keep plugging for her. Maybe she’ll luck out and be part of a lineup in Slylock Fox.
@Poteet: Her best two options, would either end up in a remake of “Cry Wilderness” where one scene has a group of raccoons completely (adorably) trash a camper.
Or end up in a future Guardians of the Galaxy film as a hypothetical (anthropomorphic) girlfriend for Rocket Raccoon
(I haven’t been keeping up with the films, or any films lately, at all so I have no idea what’s happening with Rocket personally)
Although she may have mixed feelings about playing a two-legger, personally I wonder what Sid’s opinion would be on this if he’s online later. Does she work with him?
We ain’t ‘fraid of no Archies!
Marvin: That’s an interesting way of going about hat thievery. After they stole the hats, they painted them different colors. That’s why guy on the left has these doctors bills. Andy Capp has practice with fist fights. Peter Fox, however, does get in as many and was easier to beat. He was too embarrassed to ever show his face on weekdays again.
@GarrisonSkunk: Who ya gonna call?
BC: “Snails got metrics!”@Dennis Jimenez: @Dennis Jimenez: GarrisonSkunk: Who ya gonna call?
___________
School Management!
@The Rambling Otter:
Or end up in a future Guardians of the Galaxy film as a hypothetical (anthropomorphic) girlfriend for Rocket Raccoon
(I haven’t been keeping up with the films, or any films lately, at all so I have no idea what’s happening with Rocket personally)
________________________
..or Rocket’s rocket.
@Old School Allie Cat: Fuck a bunch of fondant.
_______________________
Thats the title of the new “Six Weird Chick Lame” book.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
And are they both frogs? And if so, is it an ethnic-slur-against-the-French joke?
@Peanut Gallery: Both are plausible, to varying extents.
@GarrisonSkunk:
Baby wants it fast, baby wants a blast
She wants a rocket ride, she wants a rocket ride
Baby wants it fast, baby wants a blast
She wants a rocket ride, she wants a rocket ride
@Apteryx: BUT ARE YOU PINK OR BLACK
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Heck, I don’t know. I even misremembered my own catchphrase. (Turns out, it’s “wingless bird with hairy feathers.” But I do have wings, they’re just vestigial.)
@GarrisonSkunk: I miss Newspaper Spiderman. I liked the fact that Rocket Raccoon could kick ass better than Spiderman, and he was literally just a raccoon carrying a gun.
@The Rambling Otter: Also, for Marvel’s 100th(?) anniversary, they did a series of “what if… in the future” scenarios.
Apparently sometime down the road (within one continuity at any rate) Rocket Raccoon has triplet sons named Uno, Duo and Tray.
Although Rocket insists that they’re his nephews and doesn’t like it when they call him Dad.
@Poteet: re MT: Let’s hear it for one of our young Raccoon Stars, Reese! A fantastic portrayal of a mime trying to get out of a glass box! And you folks thought she was tryin’ to escape the comic heh heh heh.
No, the Mark Trail rotation is one of the better paying deals for our clients. We have a long- standing contract to provide a specified number of Foreground Fauna, and since we have ’em on autopay, they don’t notice the quarterly.rate increase! Heck, most of the time they don’t even notice that the Animals are in the panel!