Suspicious grooming and other body presentation
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/1/25
On the topic of bad viewing angles of cartoon heads, the characters in soap opera strips have more or less normally shaped noggins, but Truck’s facial hair really is quite absurd, as panel two makes very clear. Carefully tailoring your sideburns so that each has a distinct right angle and the two almost but not quite meet at your chin? I guess the “roots” in “roots country” refers to follicles of hair you grow in ever more ostentatious patterns across your face.
Pluggers, 7/1/25
You’re a plugger if your only tattoos aren’t tattoos at all! Pluggers do not like tattoos, or people who have them.
Luann, 7/1/25
Luann is a syndicated newspaper comic strip that has followed its title character from junior high through college. This summer, it will end abruptly after more than 40 years of publication when Luann somehow manages to accidentally shoot herself in the face with a bow and arrow. Congratulations to the whole creative team on a great run!
164 replies to “Suspicious grooming and other body presentation”
RMMD:
“Are you angry with Varla for keeping Cody a secret?”
“No point in that. She’s gone….”
“Here. Let me get my ouija board!”
Luann’s boyfriend is giving me Wallace Wells (Scott Pilgrim’s sarcastic gay roommate) vibes.
You’re a plugger if you have malignant skin.
Luann’s boyfriend seems to be turning into Bernice. Is his name Bernie? Because that would be apt.
RMMD: I have to admit, I scrutinized those album covers, just to see if something like “Who’s Next” or “Zamfir’s Greatest Hits” had been tucked in among the country western vinyls. I don’t see anything yet, but maybe she’ll flip through them some more and we’ll see something out of the ordinary.
RMMD: I don’t know what What’s-her-name’s dress looks like on every viewing platform, but on my iPad the moiré pattern looks like a Magic Eye puzzle.
Pluggers: You’re a plugger when your only earring is a pimple on the end of your earlobe.
I can make the exact same joke and nope, still not funny. Probably because it’s the exact same joke.
Luann: Considering that Weenie World might be moving Luann to handle food, she’s going to need a backup plan when she winds up causing a massive outbreak of listeria, salmonella, and even pinkeye.
MW: Mary is acting like everyone is thoroughly invested in the drama of Wilbur’s love life while Dr. Jeff wishes he could change the channel and get back to his fantasy of running on the beach with his college roommate.
RMMD: /several years earlier/ “So you want the entire room painted Grimace Purple?” “No, that would be crazy. Paint that wall Dying Parakeet”
Pluggers You know, when you put it that way in kinda sounds like Pluggers get tattoos of liver spots to fit in, I guess? Really sad.
Luann: The way that phone is colored it really looks like it’s facing away from Luann, as if her Salmon-headed friend was facetiming someone and Luann just strode up like “HeY ThAt sOuNdS FunnNnn…”
Plugger: You’re a plugger if you have liver spots on your hair, somehow.
RMMD: Used correctly, halftone is a cool artistic tool that not only saves the artist time but also creates the beloved retro look of newspaper comics. Used incorrectly, it gives your readers vertigo when they stare too long at your characters’ clothes.
Come’on Luann, you’ll fit right in seeing as you the mentality of kid. Actually, the mentality of a toddler. Those kids will be smarter and more mature than you. Who will be teaching whom?
RMMD: Don’t feel bad, Truck. Maybe Cody will have a kid soon. Then you can be a terrible grandfather.
DtM: Mr Wilson instructs the hit man he has finally hired. ” The kid first. Then, the old lady. Make it look like an accident.”
MW: Poor Dr Jeff. It’s getting more and more challenging to come up with a neutral way to say, “moronic asswipe.”
LUANN: Summer camp is only for the summer, but Weenieworld is forever! Luann just got promoted from table-wiper; she’s on her way up!
I found this tiny ornament the other day, made me think of Turtle Carl
RMMD: Who cares about sideburns when Wanda’s dress is triggering an epileptic fit!
MW: “He’s ENJOYED himself…and sometimes a person NEEDS periods of alone time.”
Meanwhile, at Charterstone, Wilbur flips through his collection of well-thumbed girlie magazines as he enjoys himself in a much needed period of alone time.
You’re a Plugger if your grandkids play connect the dots on your skin.
@Charterstoned: You mean, the Mayo jars in the Costco flyers. They’re dressing!
Luann’s friend is very exciting about having “fun” with “kids.” The authorities might be interested in the contents of that phone.
RMMD — Is it Roots Country to paint one wall in your living room purple and the adjacent one sky blue? If it is, it might provide some insight into the sideburns. . .
RMMD: Some magic eye 3d puzzles are more difficult than others. Has anyone decoded the image in Wanda’s dress?
Apparently the writers think that Luann can just show up at HQ, apply and immediately be made a Camp Counselor.
Despite she would have to get evaluated, given a background check, show off what skills she knows (hahahaha!), all literally just weeks before Camp starts.
That’s really edging the line there.
Luann : this comic shouldn’t have brought up the fact that Luann could have found a job as a camp counselor if she had actually wanted to/looked for one. Because it highlights that she simply took the first job she stumbled upon (and a job she actually dislikes, to boot!) instead of actively searching for a job in her field (teaching kids (THAT *IS* still her field, isn’t it? or is it taking care of the elderly now? Or, more absurdly, medecine in general?)).
@MKay:
LUANN: Summer camp is only for the summer, but Weenieworld is forever! Luann just got promoted from table-wiper; she’s on her way up!
Yeah, that’s another weird point about this storyline; is Weenie World supposed to be just a summer job Luann takes to occupy herself during the summer while school is out of session, and she can’t attend classes or do her job as a tutor, or is it supposed to be her taking a career to prove she’s a mature adult who can make her own money and pay her own bills? Because the storyline has playing up that it’s supposed to be the latter, but no one is
buying itimpressed, not even within the strip’s universe.P.S. : What is the deal with this Tara character? She’s meant to be a bad delinquent who does stupid, dangerous, illegal things, but also EVERY SINGLE TIME she’s portrayed as having it more together academically and professionnally than Luann? I mean, yeah, Luann is a total idiot, so being better than her at that stuff is trivial, but I was under the impression Tara was meant to be a “Goofus”, why is she this wildly successful multi-talented person?
P.P.S : I was gonna scoff at Josh’s belief this strip could ever kill a character off, then I remembered this strip wrote out Pru, Quill, Rosa, Delta, Crystal, Knute, Prof Zebo, etc. and that my disbelief is more that it would actually do anything as dramatic as killing anyone off, but it COULD just completely, abruptly drop a character.
Pluggers Break Bad Part 6: Conspicuously, though, the Chicken Lady Plugger only has one tear-shaped liver spot just below her eye.
Luann attempts to retell The Hunger Games, with the titular character acting as the poor sap who gets killed by an arrow in the first thirty seconds.
RMMD – If by ironic, you mean nobody gives a shit, then yes….
Pluggers – A Plugger ‘members Livericus declares liver spots an abomination to the lord….
Luann – Yeah – she’s got her career to think of….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
“The Truck Tyler in those days would have made a terrible Dad. Thank goodness I went through deep character development becoming a better person over the years…. wait…”
@MKay:
#12. LUANN: Camp may need to provide and salary, just room and board, which she already gets free from her folks. If she quits on a dime, Weenie World won’t hire her back, so she’ll need to work at Fuze.
MW: “What I’m saying, Jeff, is that I want to take a break and fuck around for the next couple of years.”
MW: The only MATCH for Wilbur is Avery.
MT: Do you know what happened to the lake, Ranger Shaw? Because if so, why did you let us plan a swimming excursion with your son?
Also, Lost Forest is apparently the only place where authorities would actually block off a public beach with no explanation of the contamination type on the signs
“WOW vs. Weenie” isn’t just a punchline, it’s the Luann corporate motto!
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (It’s also why Luann won’t date Gunther.)
“Check this out, Luann. CHECK THIS OUT. Look closer. Closer. That’s not close enough. Let me get this four inches from your nose. No, three! Do you see this scenery? Do you see the happy children, Luann? Must I put this pamphlet/flier/CD-ROM case directly upon your eyeballs? WHY ARE YOU NOT CHECKING THIS OUT TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH I AM ACCUSTOMED?!”
Oh, great, just great. Now I’ve got to go down the google hole researching “Do bears get skin cancer?” Thanks a lot, Pluggers.
@The Rambling Otter: Sadly, this is more accurate than you might think. Summer camps are desperate.
@Anonymous:
The Evanses can’t help it, that’s pretty much every character and Luann (cf. Tiffany).
RMMD: if you look closely, Wanda’s holding a copy of Ray Price’s “Night Life.” Great detail. Joke about Beatty all you want, the man knows his country music.
RMMD: The better question, Wandawandabobondabananafanafofondamemymomonda, is why aren’t YOU angry with Truck for once again stalking off and disappearing for hours at a time whenever a problem requiring the assistance of other people crops up? You deserve better!
JP: Aaaaaand who should be inside this charming Norweigian coffee house but CIApril! She grabs Sophie and her friend, whisking them into yet ANOTHER adventure of mystery, murder and suspense, and the whole time Reena won’t shut up about the damn coffee machine.
SF: It’s not a B plot, Ted. Bettina was the one who ruined your painting in addition to wrecking the ceiling fan. We all know that. She’ll make you another pwecious painting, you’ll frame that one, and you’ll learn a Valuable Lesson about the innocence of fleeting youth, yada yada yada…
@Activist:
#27. LUANN: Cont. Ok, cartoon says there IS payment involved, at least for archery staff. But since her goal is to pull in money to get her own place, a 6-week camp job won’t help .
MW: Good lord that last panel is just dripping with snark. I don’t think, and this is in no way surprising, that either the good doctor or Mary are actually listening and hearing each other at that point, but still, snarky as hell from both of them.
RMMD: I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s strip, just so I can see how she gets an LP into a CD player.
You’re a Plugger if you are like an insect deterring predators by having your body signal to the entire world that you are too toxic and sick to be consumed,
They inserted realistic photos in the “Rex Morgan MD” drawings, as if the fabric of reality of this bubble universe is tearing apart, leaving gaping holes through which one can glimpse the real world
“I would have made a terrible dad. Given that bad parenting can scar you for life, isn’t being absent the greatest gift I could have given to my son? I think so, and it should cover 18 years of child support in arrears”
GT: Contemplating his life over the last three years. Gil finally begins to cry. “I miss you so much Jack. And Neal. And Whigs. What did I do to deserve this hellish existence?”
RMMD:
“Why are several of the corners of that album sleeve cut off, Wanda?”
“It’s a DISCOUNT Price!”
MW panel 3: “I’m sorry Mary, I don’t mean any of that. Frankly I despise the little SOB but I keep hoping to get a little action out here on the boat. But that’s a lost cause. Let’s face it Mary, you’re meant to be with Wilbur. It’s him you love, in your own sick and twisted way. Get out of the boat now!” *spalsh*
Luann: I’m trying to think of ways that Luann could screw up this opportunity to do something she ostensibly enjoys and is ‘good at’ (*snort!*…) but I think I’m going to go with the ironic treatment. Just as she got herself fired by allowing Tara onto school property unauthorized with deadly weapons, Luann will bring copies of ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ for the camps drama program, get fired for trying to put on a play sympathetic to ‘those people’ (thus giving the Evans another anonymous strawman for Ms Inner Beauty to get all huffy and self-righteous at without contributing anything of value to the public discourse), and Tara will get fired in the bargain for helping get Luann the job in the first place.
Tara and Luann laugh at the irony and then we abruptly switch gears to see whether Gunther and Les have died yet of heat stroke from living in a garden shack during another sweltering summer.
“Congratulations to the whole [Luann] creative team on a great run!” lying is a sin, Josh
MW-“Uh, Jeff, what did I say about your hand.”
FC-“You don’t know what Charlie Brown is like. He’s a tough couch.”
We always considered Luann a loser, but this summer she will develop the skills that are to unlock her potential as a steppe warlord
RMMD: Wanda woke up this morning and slipped on her favorite portal to another universe.
Pluggers are old. Pluggers are also way ahead of the curve on being named “Tyler,” for some reason.
CS: why we Pluggers like me to have young’uns around
CURTIS: Easy solve, give kid an allowance
JUMP START: Easy solve, take Toastmasters
LOLA: Easy solve, we Pluggers want everyone but ourselves on a tight leash.
FG: is Dale really going to get a vacation?
@The Quiet Man: S4th: But the downed ceiling fan was in the living room, not the home office. And Bettina didn’t have a bottle of mustard to squirt on the painting. My guess is that they will find out Bettina was never near the painting, it was the illegal gambling guy upset by Ted shutting them down. (It could be the old lady saying he’s made a powerful enemy, but then that would have to drag on with can they have grandma over ever again if she comes with these friends, the guy didn’t seem a regular part of that friend group.)
Rex Morgan, MD: When I was a kid, I’d find myself staring at the tile pattern in my grandparents’ bathroom floor. The way the lines intersected, blurring together and creating the illusion of movement, fascinates me to this day.
Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about Wanda’s dress.
@The Rambling Otter: That was my first thought–even allowing for the fact that Luann should have a background check on file with the state due to her daycare/tutoring jobs, summer seasonal help is usually recruited in winter or spring. Not to mention it’s freaking July already and summer camps have been in full swing for weeks. I can allow for Luann not knowing how the world works, she’s nineteen and a woefully uninformed nineteen at that, but does Clan Evans have to follow her example so thoroughly?
@CanuckDownSouth: It wouldn’t have been a stretch for me to believe that while the adults were busy snarking at each other outside Bettina was causing havoc in more than one room of the house but yeah, I forgot about Ces’ little homage to Rocky from the Looney Tunes. You’re probably right.
Ces must be gunning to take the ‘master of misdirection’ crown away from the Evansii.
Maybe Ted will still falsely accuse Bettina and break her poor widdle heart and still learn a Valuable Lesson.
Happy Canada Day to any and all north of the border ‘Mudges! Enjoy doing whatever it is you do today (which lately I assume involves a lot of side-eyeing at and gossip about the massive fustercluck next door).
Luann: Summer camp councilors get up early, work hard while everyone else is having fun, and tend to go long periods without modern conveniences or comforts, so clearly this is an ideal job for someone of Luann’s temperament.
Pluggers are theoretically working-class, yet seem to think tattoos are only exhibited by…I dunno, scary “urban” types probably.
RMMD: The hair, the Zipatone dress, the records, the mid-century modern wall decor…Wanda is either really committed to the retro bit or she honestly believes it’s 1962.
MW: “Wilbur’s last relationship turned out to be an unbalanced woman. Once she got back on her meds, she dumped him instantly.”
RMMD: “Chasing a toddler”? Your possible child is about 25, Truck. You’re not going to have to pay child support, share custody, take him to soccer practice, or anything else that would affect your life in any way. You’re also what attorneys call “judgment proof.”
CS: Lillian, these kids are your employees now. YOU get to tell THEM what to do, not vice versa.
Rex Morgan, MD – Wanda’s dress looks like what happens when you wear the wrong color at a green screen and some underlying video pattern appears. It renders her form both flat, yet at the same time, feels like a portal to some mind-melting dimension where some overpowered supervillain would be condemn to live in.
Pluggers – Liver spots are God’s tattoos, and wearing sunscreen is an abomination!
Luann – I like Josh’s take, though since we know the syndicates read the blog, a gory reboot as a summer camp slasher could turn Luann from long-running afterthought comic to the next final girl in a slasher series.
Given that a “Plugger” is basically a lower middle class white person over 55, I would have guessed that most younger “Pluggers” are actually pretty tatted up these days.
RMMD – Truck is suddenly inspired with a great name for his record label: Zip-A-Tone Records. That woman, she is his muse!
Luann: I give you a sound-effects-only preview of a strip that will appear in late July or early August: *bump* *twang* *zip* *AAAIIEE!!*
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hello? How did opening night go, Juan?”
“Hi, Abundio. Not bad, but I wish you had been here…”
“There are only four people in the audience!”
C’shaft: Good idea, girls–get the bitter, joyless ninety-year-old woman to unwillingly shoot a video begging people to read her latest mediocre cozy mystery. That’s sure to drive book sales!
DT: Dude, you think Mrs. Astor’s just going to let some pencil-mustached rando waltz into high society out of nowhere?
GT: Keri’s nose ring moves around like King Richard’s mole in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
MW: Wait a minute…the nose…the chin…the unusually positive view of Wilbur…that’s not Dr. Jeff, it’s Wilbur in a truss and a wig!
@TheDiva: On RMMD: It just hit me. This is Buck’s house. Wanda’s and Buck’s wife whatsherface (Mindy?) are related, aren’t they? Identical twins who had to adapt radically different hairstyles to stop wisecracks about how they look so alike. Wanda had to move in with whatsherface because being a diner waitress in this day and age doesn’t come anywhere close to paying a livable wage (and she still wants to hitch her wagon to a broken-down country singer?!)
Rex Morgan – Learning that one’s fiancee has a grown child that he didn’t know about would be a shock. There are underlying issues about why the child’s mother never told the father about the child. I would think that Wanda would need to think about this news and come to terms with it. However, that would be a form of conflict, and it might be interesting. Can’t have that. Instead, we jump immediately to chatting about the kid.
Crankshaft – Lillian is putting on her “little old me doesn’t know about that newfangled stuff” act. It doesn’t make her sweet or endearing. Never forget that she’s a loathsome hag who ruined her sister’s life. She would be a loathsome hag even without the ruining part – it just makes her worse.
Batiuk first presented her as a jealous harridan, and now he seems to think she’s a beloved character. No, she isn’t.
FC – How sweet! The number on Billy’s shirt is the age he’ll be when he finally graduates from high school.
Mary Worth – “Unique?!” Add that to “endearing quirks.” I prefer to think of Wilbur as a loathsome homunculus.
Ripley’s – The walrus was Paul.
@The Quiet Man: Wanda is the successful business owner of the diner, inherited from her father. Though she still could be related to Mindy -it’s a small town
@TheDiva: On Crankshaft: I’m not too worried. Going by the GoComics coloring, that’s clearly a tooled leather wallet The One in the White Shirt is holding up, not a phone. I don’t think they’ll be taking social media by storm any time soon.
@I speak Jive: ” I would think that Wanda would need to think about this news and come to terms with it. However, that would be a form of conflict, and it might be interesting. Can’t have that.”
Yeah, exactly! She should have gotten all huffy and standoffish, stalked off and found a park bench to sulk on for the next several days’ worth of strips!
@The Rambling Otter: That’s adorable!
@Guts Dozier: Henrietta was in prison and killed someone?!
Luann: She could shoot herself in the face with a bow and arrow, sure, OR she could trip, knock herself out, and fall unconscious headfirst into a bucket of water while cleaning the toilets at Weenie World.
@Anonymous: The fact that she think’s it’s a good idea to marry Truck makes me question how long the ‘successful’ part of that will last.
Luann-I can think of a camp Luann can go to.
Pluggers-As the generations get older the day will come when Pluggers will have tattoos.
Luann: Camp Skye? Where is that? Tara: It is up by Crystal Lake. It used to be called something else. I’m going up there early to meet the other counselors – some are really hot!
JP: Now is the chance to use our Norwegian food knowledge: brodskiver, knekkebord and others – more justification for that wonderful trip to Norway.
DT: So old timey Lovejoy takes over investments. He immediately goes all in on the blue chips: Trans Atlantic Zepplin, US Hay, Amalgamated Spats, Congreves Inflammable Powders. For relaxation he’ll take in a baseball game. Where is Honus Wagner.
RMMD: Wanda is sporting the latest ziptone dazzle style. It is an homage to world war I ship designs meant to make it harder for submarines to plot a torpedo shot using periscope optics. Nice one Wanda! Also when she sits down, it makes a convenient chessboard in her lap.
Blondie: Jokes about tree-hugging moonbat environmentalists were slightly more tolerable back when Lee Zeldin wasn’t busy dismantling the EPA for parts.
Curtis He wants to buy a book, Greg. Encourage that.
DT: ”Oh, and try not to catch tuberculosis.”
Rex Morgan: It’d unironically be really funny if Truck takes the suggestion to make up for lost time super-literally and starts trying to do shit like teaching Cody to ride a tricycle or giving him the birds and bees talk, heedless of Cody being a grown-ass middle aged man. But that would be fun to read which means its forbidden in the world of Rex Morgan.
Thank you for that! I’ll add that it is Madame Ovary’s birthday. And also Bobby Bonilla Day!
S4th: Well, I never expected that Ces would give us Ted’s origin story as a supervillian.
GT: Old and Busted: Spring sports going well into summer. New Hotness: Proms going well into summer.
@I speak Jive: Lillian reminds me of those faux-humble college football coaches. The kind whose every utterance is “aw shucks” and condescending praise for your team. Even though his expensive squad of mercenaries just disemboweled your quaint little college that should have stuck to soccer.
Except that the football coach succeeds because he’s actually good at his job. Lillian gets everything handed to her because she’s the new Les Moore.
Phantom: (Deep, echoing, bodiless voice) “Worubuuuuuuuuu….DON’T PLAY WITH MY TOYS.”
But at least there is some major-league jutting in this one.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – So if a hypothetical male impregnated a woman and 25 years later found out he had a hypothetical child, could he be required to pay retroactive child support? (Asking for a friend.)
GT: “I’m proud of you! Of course, your grandparents would have slit their wrists if they could see you today.”
You’re a plugger if the kids keep asking you to say “diabeetus” for some reason.
You might be a Plugger if, during the war, you passed messages to the Resistance in the form of Morse code tattoos on your arms, but you never learned Morse code so, to this day, you wonder why ham radio operators thank you for your service and ask how the attack on Le Havre went.
Luann’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is she?
Luann-Luann, when you get to camp go straight to the showers.
@Activist: OR Luann could get a job at one of the many professions for which San Diego offers great opportunity — shoveling up gorilla shit in the Zoo, or pleasuring the sailors down at the docks.
love is… Bizarro World, where nude people walk through art galleries to be stared at by clothed people in old paintings.
RMMD. Truck’s fiancée is trying to insert a classic roots country LP into a cheap 90s era CD boombox. This marriage is over before it even began!!!
“I was a fool then, I could never have been a good father. Ironically, Varla and I became parents only because we were not wise enough to use protection. That’s a flaw in natural selection”
Snuffy – “The Britches of Theseus” sounds too much like a hillbilly porn parody.
@Sequitur: Y196
“Despite what pervert Ike said, how do you lovely gals picture us guys?
C’mon. Be honest. Most of us can take it.”
Um, as Pluggers?? (BUT a very *diverse* group of Pluggers!!!)
I like to think that we’re focusing on Mary’s usual routine of forcing Dr. Jeff to wait on her hand and foot because Wilbur is currently dealing with charges involving Belle’s questionable consent. Oh, wait, it’s Wilbur. He’s probably out singing karaoke with Dawn to try and ask her for a pity party in the form of a handy under the table.
Luann: “Free food and lodging, while getting paid to have fun in gorgeous mountain scenery!” says Luann’s attractive friend with an overly enthusiastic smile on her face, while pretending to display a photo of the place but only holding up the back of her phone. Don’t go there, Luann, it’s obviously a cult compound! (Okay, maybe she should go there — it’s not as if she has anything better to do. At least she’ll finally meet some more positive-minded people!)
RMMD: Wanda’s dress pattern evokes the Scintillating Grid Illusion: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grid_illusion
RMMD – The gizmo in the background is probably supposed to be some hybrid monstrosity such as this. But the lid looks too small.
@Ukulele Ike: re: Curtis: Yes, but this is part of the recurring “Curtis has no respect for money / budgets and considers his dad a piggy bank – haha” jokes this week. But there’s never anything funny that comes of it – no ridiculous schemes to make money, amusing bits as he tries something reasonable (like mowing lawns) and has trouble, shenanigans with allowance experiments, or even some laughable attempt to explain family budget constraints = no regular allowance or treats. It all boils down to “Can I have money?” “no, and I despair of you ever being responsible”. It’s seemingly too boring for even good snark.
Pluggers could have been a hoot if they just showed the dog person as normal and said, “They’re under the fur, but trust us, they’re there.” But no, now they have me thinking about dog people getting liver spots on top of their fur and it just angers me like a plugger seeing a 20-year-old woman with a tattoo.
@Needless Exposition: Or he’s already on his way to Orlando.
@Banana Jr. 6000: The hilarious thing is that Wilbur likely gave Belle his full address but all he knows about her is that she’s from Orlando. There’s four Orlandos in this country (in Florida, Kentucky, West Virginia, and Oklahoma, though the last three are definitely not as big) so he might be dumb enough to try all of them by size while dragging Dawn along.
FC: Poor Billy. He thinks he can fight off the CHUDs with a little league bat.
Today’s Pluggers feels less like a general observation on getting old and more like someone from Gen X desperately trying to convince themselves that their tattoos still make them young and vibrant and I know hip slang, kids… “Sus” “Drip” “OHIO!” I’m not 51! I’m NOT 51! Death isn’t that close… I’m young…. (breaks down crying and curls into fetal position.)
@Tabby Lavalamp: There was a series of novels I read as a kid. A medieval fantasy world of anthropomorphic animals.
This one book had an otter warrior, covered in tattoos. Later on, the book reveals that the tattoos are done via needle and ink.
That was just confusing, THEY HAVE FUR. It’s not even one of those “furry lens” scenarios where they’re humans being represented by animal characters, because they call themselves otters constantly.
@TheDiva:
You doubt the sterling convictions of a girl that whines about going to work at 3pm? How dare you, missy?!
Luann: We Need to Talk about Tara.
Pluggers: Surely, Pluggers can include melanoma in their tattoos.
Luanne: Call me pedantic, but it seems like what “Skye vs. Weenie” might lack in alliteration, it would more than make up for in parallelism and, you know, logic.
@Needless Exposition: The mention of “MegaCorp from Orlando” implies Belle lives in Florida. Or at least that’s what she wanted Wilbur to believe.
FC: “And why the fuck isn’t Grandpa controlling the weather from Heaven like I’ve demanded?!?”
MW: I am unsurprised about the downgrade from “Tried to murder Dawn” to “Didn’t like Dawn.”
Dustin: Helen has two painful stigmas she’d like to remove.
@Banana Jr. 6000: It’s very much Florida but Wilbur and Dawn barely manage a single braincell between them so they’ll likely get lost in a tourist trap swamp.
CS: I hope this video to promote “Murder at the Book Burning” causes them to actually burn down Lillian’s store. The Burnings!
9CL: Good thing Brooke has an outlet for his soft p0rn featuring young people. In a related note, the last Pibgorn released nearly 11 months ago.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Leave Wanda’s eye-searing dress alone! It’s the only interesting or noticeable thing in this storyline (I’m perpetually amazed at this strip’s ability to take old Mary Worth plots and filter them though the boredom machine to turn out dull, mashed-together sludge of a story.)
Luann: I have a very particular set of skills is dancing dangerously close to a line for some folk
@Hibbleton: Yeah. It’s one of those “naked dresses” like they wear at the Oscars. The prize for decoding it is a gallon of brain bleach.
@Ukulele Ike: Or pleasuring the gorillas at the zoo.
@Needless Exposition: Wilbur could be Magellan and still get lost in Orlando. The entire city seems designed to confuse tourists, and also for some unclear alien purpose. The city is a maze of 16-lane expressways going nowhere, linked by five-way non-cardinal intersections, all for no apparent reason. And locals can’t give you directions, because they don’t know where anything is either. Orlando is basically the first draft of Naypyidaw.
@Charterstoned: If any “Kenny G” or Christopher Cross” albums show up, Truck’s roots country card will be revoked.
@Lord Flatulence: I was expecting to see “Christmas on the Ponderosa” among the collection, but no such luck.
@CanuckDownSouth, Curtis: There was one time when Curtis worked with a couple struggling with their store, and they made…. flowers? bouquets? And it was so successful that the couple was able to sell the store and retire to England. Curtis, for his part, made money, but I believe his parents made him put it in a college fund (or, one of those “Your Money is Our Money” scenarios and put it in savings).
@Anonymous:
If you guys thought this was too many words for friggin’ Luann, well
I checked out the official cast page today, and have made the following observations :
1. Looks like Phil is here to stay; but also : “Phil’s career-focused determination and straight-forward demeanor can make him both appealing and off-putting”… What the hell is that supposed to mean? That’s a really weird way to phrase “When he first met Luann and Bernice, he showed the blunt honesty to ridicule them over not having ‘real’ jobs”, if that’s what that’s referring to!
2. Luann’s parents are there twice. Also : “Frank and Nancy own THE FUSE, a local venue where several characters staff Kafe Kablooie.” I like how this sentence seems like it’s a rewrite, like it initially described THE FUSE as being a local venue that held events, then realised that’s no longer true, so they’re stuck with the much less exciting “the other characters work there”.
@Activist: Jump Start – Easy Solve: There are no fans or heroes when all are united by the technicolor yawn.
FC: Come to Florida, Billy. A law went into effect today forbidding anyone from attempting to control the weather (not joking). You’ll never have to worry about chemtrails ruining your little league practice again.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I haven’t been in Orlando since the late nineties and I have no inclination to go back, though I have an aunt in Tampa.
@The Rambling Otter: I was thinking about the photo you posted, and I realized that the turtle was similar to some figurines I got years ago in packages of Red Rose Tea. I think it was back in the 1970s. Packages included a figurine of an animal, and I had several of them. The only animal I remember was a monkey figurine, so I Googled and ended up down a rabbit hole. Red Rose Tea has issued hundreds of these figurines, and apparently they’re collectible items.
Google Red Rose Tea figurines turtle – there’s one that looks like the one you have. Maybe you already know this!
Crank: I decided the comment I’d thought of didn’t quite work, but in the process of trying to write it I was delighted to realise that, while I have so much comics information I don’t care about in my brain, I have already forgotten whether Emily always wears a black shirt and Amelia always wears a white one, or the other way round.
EC: Fun fact: this absolutely doesn’t happen at Disney parks, where interactions with mascot characters are tightly controlled in set areas. But of course, Mouse World isn’t a Disney park, any more than Mortimer Mouse is a Disney character, so it can work however they… What’s that? Mortimer Mouse is actually the name of multiple Disney characters? Well, it’s a rerun, so I guess the lawyers can’t make a fuss now, right?
DT: It’s always nice to see the elements of a carefully constructed plot slotting into place. Like Lovejoy’s interest in history, which I guess was established … during the flashback? That was what he was studying at college? (checks) Nope, we were just told he got a degree. Maybe we were told this earlier when Dick and Sam were researching him? (checks) Nope, not there either. Huh.
Well, we were never told he wasn’t interested in history, and isn’t that close enough? As Anton Chekhov would have said if he wrote comic strips, if a gun’s going to be fired in the third act, you can probably assume the readers know guns exist in general during the first act.
MW:“I hope one day he finds someone who matches his unique personality … as long as I never have to meet such a person myself!”
Pluggers: Interesting look into the early years of the Animalpocalypse – this dog-man has mastered walking upright and wearing clothes, and even internalised human ideas to the point where he thinks his speckled coat is a sign of age, and yet he’s only very nearly developed opposable thumbs.
@Needless Exposition: Orlando is now the fourth largest city in Florida. Imagine living in Florida and NOT living next to the ocean. Yecch.
Florida is scary as hell these days, but if I had to live there you’d definitely find me somewhere in the Keys. Probably trying to top the Hemingway record for daiquiris downed at Sloppy Joe’s Bar.
DT: Well, it looks like, ultimately, Dick will be able to send Pencilstache Biff Tanner to a horrible death back in time and space. Sam, for his part, will go back and kill Hitler in his crib.
@taig: To be fair to Mary, she isn’t telling Jeff about the attempted poisoning because neither Dawn nor Wilbur told her that. And to be fair to Dawn and Wilbur, they didn’t tell Mary because, despite their comical panic at the thought of eating her vegan seafood, they had no evidence of that or even any reason to suspect it! We knew, but they never did! But then they acted like they did! But then they never brought it up again because they didn’t! It’s an oroboros of nonsense!
@Ukulele Ike: Key West is about the only part of FLA I’ve found to be interesting, except for all the damn tourists (I was there on business travel, so I didn’t count).
@Horace Broon: I’m pretty sure everyone downplayed what happened to Dawn, including Dawn herself because she’s starting to become the Butt Monkey of Mary Worth thanks to the failed relationships and regular gaslighting from Wilbur and Mary that she should be to blame for everything as a young person.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Happy birthday to Madame Ovary!
Re Bobby Bonilla – Many years ago we went to Philadelphia for a baseball game, and Mr. Jive and Jive Jr. got his autograph. He signed it “Bonilla,” no first name.
A couple of times we stayed at the same hotel where the visiting team stayed, but I don’t remember if that was one of the times.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Yeah, that’s it exactly. She has a faux humble “Aw, shucks” demeanor when she’s really just a loathsome hag.
@taig: Re FC -“Dead Grandpa controls the weather” is one of my pet peeves. I remember the original strip – Dead Grandpa makes sure that the weather cooperates with whatever plans will amuse his idiot grandchildren, but who cares how many other people he fucks over, such as farmers. This isn’t the sweet thing Bil Keane seemed to think it was.
@Little Guy: Tracy and Sam going back in time to the Gilded Age? They’ll end up on the Neo-Chicago Strongarm Squad, and beat Pencilneck/Mustache to death with their billy clubs.
@Inquisitive: Can Luann dance? She DID play Maria in the high school production of West Side Story, in a coal-black wig and brownface to make her look Puerto Rican. Director: “None of these little shits is graceful at all, so I think we’ll just SKIP the choreography stuff.”
9CL: I admit it! I laughed and laughed.
@Voshkod: I ended up on business in Key West a couple of times — the place is lousy with writers, drunks, and hippies, so right up my alley. The local story that really gripped my attention was that of Count Carl von Cosel and his amazing love affair with a corpse.
Back then the Internet was in its infancy and I needed to research it through sensationalist cheap books and magazines I found in back rooms of sleazy bookshops.
@Hibbleton: I really wish you were kidding. This is beyond frightening nationwide and I blame everyone who did you know what for you know who without empathy for their fellow citizens. As long as they got theirs then not much else matters.
@Peanut Gallery: #98
My LoopTone stereo has all that plus a cassette player! I have three generations of audio delivery systems in one smart-looking faux wood cabinet!! Woo Hoo!!!!
Close to Home: HEY, BAJA! Press three.
LUANN: This summer, it will end abruptly after more than 40 years of publication when Luann somehow manages to accidentally shoot herself in the face with a bow and arrow.
Guess I’ll be proven right in my prediction that Luann would die without ever crossing second base, much less losing her virginity. Beakman here certainly isn’t gonna claim her V card, considering Luann complimented his personality as “mild.”.
Look, Terry Beatty, I get it. You want to draw a woman in a polka dot dress, but drawing each of the little dots by hand would take forever. There’s no shame in just taking a flat texture and cropping it within the outlines of a dress. Your motives are innocent but, ye gods, Terry!—look at what you have wrought! Poor Wanda’s torso has become an aperture into the Spotted Realm, several planes beyond the ken of mankind, where the King in Dots doth reign, each aspect of his six-dimensional visage too terrible to behold! Truck Tyler shall behold and shriek as his psyche rends itself to pieces in confusion, and we, Terry, we shall go mad with him.
@Sequitur: Baja, don’t do it! It’s a trap!
@Abram Beazer: I feel like I’ve walked into the plot of a 90s Vertigo comic.
Mutts Spanish to English.
@Ukulele Ike: I didn’t get to see too much except some good food and the Coast Guard base. I even missed Hemingway’s house, even though my hotel was a block away. I did see some suspicious looking and allegedly polydactyly cats, but was not able to count the toes.
@140 taig:
Snitch.
Six Chix-Incoming pun!
Just FYI, this is what the Florida weather law is apparently meant to address.
@Charterstoned: I was expecting to see “Christmas on the Ponderosa” among the collection, but no such luck.
Ooh, that’s a nasty one.
RMMD: Speaking of hair situations, would it be too much to ask for a *little* detail in Wanda’s do? Right now it looks like a giant licorice Dot, and frankly I find that unsettling.
Truck Tyler’s sideburns are just George Jones taken the extra inch down on the jaw. Makes sense that a truck has to be bigger than a lawnmower. Sort of like Rex Morgan getting surgical privileges and then not going near the hospital for 3 years. It is the Way.
@Daisy: That actually sounds like a very cool thing! Not quite as cool as a Close ‘n Play, but almost!
(I’ll take my “OK, Boomer” now…)
MW: (Mary speaks) I’ve got a match for Wilbur—his face and my ass! (Both laugh uproariously)
@treetown: On Luann: Wait’ll they find out the lake at the camp is on the opposite shore of the contaminated one in Mark Trail.
FC: Billy knows that Charlie Brown wouldn’t let a little rain stop practice, but he’s finding out how hard it is to convince mothers of this.
@I speak Jive: Ooooh, cool! My turtle may have come from that indeed
@Sequitur: Ha! ^^
Pluggers: Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean, really looked at them? Do you somehow not scream on finding them to be two lumpy, spotted paws? Then you might be a Plugger!
RMMD: Since you’re too old to chase a toddler around, the theory that you’ve learned a thing or two will remain just that. This is coming from (non-)experience on my part.
9CL: Wow, if only Brooke had a little more foresight he could have drawn a third panel with the back of Alistair’s head.
BB: Mort Walker is the one who first named grawlixes, and his sons honor him by adding a dragonfly to them.
C-Shaft: Another strip boldly defying the expectation that it contain some kind of joke. (This being the Funkyverse, a troubling diagnosis is considered an acceptable substitute for a joke.)
DT: Anyone who buys a book on the 19th century at Barns & Noble will jump at the chance to live in the past? With that kind of logic the elder Lovejoy should be writing his own strip.
Dustin: This discussion is a little too Freudian to be hosted by the radio station founded by Deepak Chopra.
GT: Since Keri isn’t panicking I take it that’s a nose stud and not a giant zit.
MW: Haha, Jeff makes such a funny joke when he says that he hopes someday Wilbur meets someone who matches his personality. It obviously has to be a joke. Because if it weren’t, Dr. Jeff would have to be some kind of diabolist who practices every kind of blasphemy in the hopes of bringing about the End Times.
@TheDiva:
It’s not out of the realm of possibility that she’s Zippy’s ladyfriend Zerbina on some kind of deep cover mission.
Wanda having been visible for a few days now, with great effort, I have looked at her dress long enough to see the sailboat. Gonna play “Suzanne,” now, so ONE good thing came of this.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: DT: Barns, nobles, that sounds 19th-century to me…
We frankly cannot imagine that the impeccable Mrs. Bumstead would ever wear that lovely black-accented peach jacket with a white skirt.
@Tom T.: Way OT, I know, but I’ll just mention that when I was in a student in a university meteorology program many moons ago, students were required to take a class called Industrial Meteorology. It was basically a class on how to perform geoengineering, usually on behalf of farmers and foreign governments. What I remember taking away from the class was “don’t do this if you value your sanity and/or soul.”
Times might have changed, but I don’t think the science has. I suppose now, as then, there’s big money in it, if you manage to be successful at it.
@160 Fashion Police:
No, but the colorist could.
@Fashion Police:
I like your routine a little more than the animal representative but much more than the guy who will remain nameless.
@Opinions: You mean Anonymous?