Egyptomania
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Mary Worth, 8/31/25
Yes, Olive, you “saw” that she was struggling in the water, with your “eyes,” as she was immediately in “front” of you as you stood on the beach just a few “yards” away from her. Note also that Olive is implying heavily that she had pity on Vicki, the least bad of the bully gang. If it had been Naomi, that girl would be smugly rolling her eyes on the ocean floor right now. You notice they’re quoting John 15:13 and not Matthew 5:44!
Heathcliff, 8/31/25
Much as I enjoy seeing Surf Mummy in action, I must be a pedant here and object to the way he apparently sinks into the earth. If he were the disembodied spirit of a dead Egyptian prince, then I would accept this depiction of his return to the Duat, the land of the dead. However, as a physical mummy, he should instead be shown returning to his sarcophagus, whether that’s inside a pyramid or in some rock-cut tomb in the Nile Valley, then drawing the lid closed behind him.
185 replies to “Egyptomania”
And indeed, YET ANOTHER conversation about Olive “saving” Vicki, which has now be had in three places. W
RMMD-“Jonah had a heart attack before he could tell me the location of the gold.”
MW-“I ‘saw’…” Yeah anybody with eyes could have seen Vicki struggling.
FC-“Is Labor Day the day you gave birth to us all?”
…where in NYC can they go next and have this same talk? Empire State Building? Sardi’s???
Man, the touchscreen is acting weird this morning.
MW:
By the way, if this kid’s so prescient, why didn’t she foresee, and thus avoid, the near-accident years ago that appears to have launched this continuing story arc?
MW:
“When I’m older, Mary, I want to establish my very own neighborhood satellite library and invite everyone in the nearby community to partake of its resources,”
“That’s very noble of you. What has motivated you to want to pursue that idea?”
“I want to extend everyone the ‘Olive‘ branch!”
RMMD: “Yeah, I probably should’ve had it on speakerphone so I could continue CPR while I’m talking to you, but the artist really wanted to show off how well they can draw someone holding a cellphone! That’s pretty rare here in the comics!”
MW: Has anyone else noticed that the titular character of this strip doesn’t seem to do anything anymore? In the old days it would have been Mary’s advice that would have inspired Olive to risk her life, but now Mary is just kinda there to summarize what already happened later on. Did Mary die? Is this a Sixth Sense thing? Maybe Olive can finally shepherd her into the afterlife and we can finally complete the transition to a Wilbur-centric strip.
Heathcliff: Huh, I just assumed that Surfin’ Mummy just stepped into the ocean and slowly dissolved into papyrus mush. Kind of a dramatic end to the summer but at least he went out doing what he liked.
Heathcliff / Mary Worth: Surf Mummy is actively avoiding his sarcophagus — he heard that a psychic girl who’s really into “saving” folks who enjoy the ocean, but actually ends up making the situation worse and putting them in greater danger than if she never interfered, is currently visiting the Temple of Dendur at the Museum of Modern Art. “I sense a disturbance over here!” she’ll say as she slides the cover off a 2,000-year-old casket, then accidentally drops it and destroys it forever. “Eh, it’s the thought that counts,” Mary will add as they flee from the scene.
Perhaps Surf Mummy simply travels long distances a la Bugs Bunny. Now his only concern is which turn he takes at Albuquerque.
MW: “…and we plan to hang out together soon.”
“How soon?”
“IDK, she said something about ‘losing the anchor’, whatever that means.”
MW:
“Now, Olive, do you have any questions for me, now that you’ve experienced all that the Met has to offer?”
“I sure do. First of all, why is that Gertrude Stein lady apparently such a sourpuss?
“Why didn’t that lady that Monsieur Courbet painted dress up a little bit before engaging with her parrot?
“How come that young woman that Vermeer drew looks like Frankie Munoz from ‘Malcolm in the Middle’?
“Are those toxic algae underneath Monsieur Monet’s bridge?
“Why would Socrates drink that stuff when it was no good for him in the first place?
“And how was General Washington able to fit all those guys in one boat?”
Heathcliff: Mummies are made by allowing the desert heat, mineral salts and various oils to dry out a dead body and therefore preserve its structure as a desiccated bulk. I don’t know what would happen if you got a mummy wet again – say, by surfing with it in a huge rolling wave – but I’m pretty sure the answer would be gross beyond words.
Mary Worth Mashups: Which reaction shot do you prefer?
DT: “You better return that red Swingline stapler. Milton really wants that stapler back”
Heathcliff: Am I the only one who thought that the mummy turned into the Seagull?
I mean, yeah it’s insane, but then again I’ve seen weirder with this comic.
LUANN: Right, school is no place for dogs. However, Bernice better take Monstro as that is just where an isolated fish needs to be.
RMMD: Cody shrugs his shoulders. “What the hell, man!?” Says the EMT as he pulls off the landscapers tarp Cody put over the body.
@Hibbleton:
“Oh, God!” Shouts the EMT. “You’ve killed the Brawny Paper Towel Guy!”
RMMD:
“Listen, Lorna. I’ve got some bad news…Our brother is headed to the hospital…His life is in Dr Morgan’s hands now.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
HEATHCLIFF: The last time I hung out with a mummy in board shorts, it turned out I was hitting the catnip too hard.
RMMD: “Hi, Lorna, it’s Cody. Despite you distinctly telling me not to, I forced my presence on Jonah, and he got so mad his heart stopped. So, are there any other family members who don’t want to meet me?”
BF: Face it, girls…Eloise from Undergrad is a winner at life. Not like you two with your knockoff handbags and nylon tops and crummy motorcars. Eloise from Undergrad is enjoying the financial success you could never hope to achieve.
Also, her new trophy husband with the washboard abs gives her volcanic orgasms every time.
@12 Schroduck: You mean the wet mummy would look something like this?
Judge Parker: Is it only me or is Female Wilbur Weston a bit too disconcerting to be portrayed on the comics page?
Gasoline Alley is doing its best to make me want to bookmark Archie.
Lockhorns: Leroy wants to make his marriage the happiest one in town by dragging everyone else’s down below the Lockhorns’ level.
Blondie: It’s technically a different haircut but no odder than his usual.
Crankshaft: Meet Enormous Midwest’s newest Senatorial candidate for 2036!
BG&SS: John Rose has yet to consult with an urbane suburbanite like me (honest) who knows that square dancing isn’t ballroom dancing and isn’t done for prizes. The “best square” has eight people all doing the same thing, so be prepared to battle for the sum of $5 a couple..
MW: “We’re okay, and we plan to hang out soon. After my vacation with you in California, and your subsequent trial for violating the Mann Act.”
FC: No children crying or bleeding, no dog barking? You call this “ruining your quiet weekend”?
H&L:
Lois: “What are you two doing?”
Dot & Ditto: “We were going to make a video about what we did this summer, but after seeing Dad’s special videos, we’re packing our bags for when Child Protective Services arrives.”
@A Grave Mind: That’s for readers who only take the Sunday paper, who have missed all the Olive hagiography. To recap: July 20, Mary on the plane; July 27, air-conditioner falls; August 3, angry dog; August 10, ice-cream sundaes; August 17, Vicki and Olive in the water; August 24, hospital visit; August 31, museum. Gee, the first time Sunday-only readers even saw the girls was in the hospital, and today’s the first mention of bullying.
MW: Shouldn’t Olive be in school or did she get the whole year off for “saving” her classmate because she’s just so much more special and unique than everyone else? Forget Dawn Weston being a perpetual college student; Olive will one up her too and never leave high school.
@BigTed: Say, buddy, that’s the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Go back to Santa Royale, ya rube!
In the absence of JUNGLE JIM!, have yourself a VINTAGE B.C.
BLONDIE: Great set up.
CS: Reporter picked up on discrepancy before I did! Good for him! But yeah, if the team lost last night a pep talk might have been needed to get them to come to practice this morning.
BETTY: So many grown men want a mommy. Really!
JP: Such compassion! Great recruitment ad for CIA or X.
JUMP START: Darrin, you’ll find that positive people get things done. Negative people are defeated before they begin.
RMMD: yeah, “Bad news, Lorna, I just gave our brother a heart attack.”
@A Grave Mind:
#18. RMMD: thanks, literal Lol!
As usual, after nine panels of insanity Heathcliff concludes with a Kitty Korner where someone uses a lot of words to say that their cat is a cat and has a name. And that’s fantastic! Cats rock!
Is Olive’s problem that no-one ever explained “senses” to her, and she thinks they’re all psychic abilities? “Oh, Mary, put a sweater on, I was outside and had a psychic revelation that it’s cool today — the eerie forces raised goosebumps on my arms!” “Oh, Mary, step to one side, I have a psychic premonition there’s a bicycle behind us — it came to me like the ringing of a small bell!”
@Baja Gaijin:
You’re such a genius, Baja, that I’m afraid to click on “something like this.”
R/ O: “Passing the Peace” on Sunday morning.
MW: Josh, congrats both on calling it out AND making me look up both verses. My pastor thanks you too.
MARY WORTH: Mary: “I mean, if some snotty bitch dared to try to bully me, I’d not only would not risk my life to save her from drowning, but I’d probably go and keep her head submerged faster then you can say ‘Aldo Kelrast.’ But you do you, dearie.”
MW: Olive asks, “How come?” when she knows the answer, but she’s such a kindred spirit with Mary, she needs to hear again and again and again how wonderful she is. Anyway, Olive’s narcissism will definitely weigh more than a feather.
Heathcliff: I’m more interested in the Kitty Korner about the cat who gets really nasty when prosecuting civil cases.
@ValdVin:
I’m thinking it’s probably traditional buck dancing.
Dulce et decorum est pro Mari? mori
@Ettorre: Mari? stupid unicode
@Ettorre: it’s supposed to be the long A
@Baja Gaijin:
#22 Baja, I try not to be delicate, but even I would have to clean off those uggs before wearing them.
FC: The San Fransisco trip is over, so it is time to RELAX! You know it’s done because Jeffy has put away his pennant.
Dustin: “I have become Quality Control, Devourer of Cookies.”
FRAZZ: Not that anyone asked, but unlike Mrs. Olson I won my race yesterday only in the sense I finished it. Came in 5th of 8 in the Plugger age category. Hurting this morning. But next time I’ll do better (see my comment on Jump Start)
Heathcliff: I thought the mummy shrunk down and turned into the bird.
@taig: She’s not hanging out with her “new friends” because they don’t stroke her ego enough the way that Mary does. And Mary should go to jail.
JP: “Mr. Parker, the CIA is going to come down on your wife like a dusky-skinned immigrant.”
Phantom: “The Spooky Mystery of the Phantom Flying Fortress in Africa.” The Twilight Zone episode Rod Serling wishes he never made.
Luann: I’d be impressed Puddles outsmarted someone, but this is Luann we’re talking about here.
CS: The pep talk was about how they’re in a Batiuk comic, so they’ll have to learn to suffer until blessed cancer takes them away.
@Baja Gaijin: I like options 1 and 3.
That other thing is gross beyond words.
RMMD-“You want me to do what? I only just met the guy. Besides I don’t think the world is ready yet for half-brother on half-brother porn.”
SlyF-Windows up, Windows down, all Rosa knows is that Princess Pussycat is getting the bill for this because she’s tired of being stiffed by low grade government officials.
Blondie – The barber and Dagwood both thought this would be humiliating, but something far worse has happened: Blondie loves it and wants Dagwood to keep the new ‘do.
MW: I’m reading Olive’s word balloon, but I’m “seeing” Apartment 3-G’s Margo doing her iconic air quotes.
Fortunately, Luann had “Try not to get TOO smart” tattooed on her inner forearm. Every day since? Success!
@Baja Gaijin: Number Two. Always enjoy a callback to when it was fun to read Mark Trail.
“Taste the FIST OF JUSTICE, liberal Hollywood bacchant!!!”
FC: Thel thinks back to when hanging out braless in the yard with Bil could be fun.
The “Olive and Mary go to the beach” story would have been a lot more fun, and a much more intriguing display of preternatural powers, if Olive had summoned up a sunglasses-wearing mummy to be her super-cool surfing friend rather than jumping straight into a riptide and endangering herself and others at the behest of “psychic” visions. As is, she and Mary can only go to the Met and imagine the lives of ancient Egyptians rather than physically manifesting Egyptian individuals to share their experiences. Olive’s got nothing on Heathcliff.
Also, if the bird in the last panel of Heathcliff is supposed to be the mummy’s ba, this is a pretty radical revision of the “Man’s Conversation with his Ba” that I read in grad school.
The mummy would be powdered and consumed by Victorian age rich people back in the day. LMAO
MT: I suppose having Mark punching those disease-ridden mice to kingdom come would have been a bit much.
MW: “I’m glad that the lifeguard rescued you both and that you and Vicki are all right now! Because, you know, if he had rescued only one of you then it would have shown just how misguided it was of you to make him have to rescue two girls at once!”
Heath: Personally, I would pay good money for a road trip movie featuring Heathcliff, Surfer Mummy, and Garbage Ape.
MW: Eh, I’m just glad we’re spared (at least for the Sunday strip) Olive’s reincarnation fantasies. If we’re going to have any past life regression with this character I want to be like in Ragtime, where J.P. Morgan becomes convinced he’d been a mighty pharaoh in a past life, rents out a pyramid so he can sleep in it and get in touch with his former self, only to dream that he was a mere peddler of no consequence to anyone.
A cat born with hair? That’s disgusting! FUR is not hair. Fur is way nicer.
Don Abundio, translated:
“That sounds like one of those old steam train whistles!”
“It’s some rich guy who drives a steam-powered car…”
“Just so he can be a bigger asshole”
Boy, the smug expression on that Olive in the third panel — clearly attempting to look modest, and failing miserably. If that’s the way she comports herself, no wonder she gets bullied. Hell, I’d bully her myself.
@Rita Lake: “….never, for any reason, must you brew more than *nine* tana leaves at one time. Should Kharis obtain a large amount of the fluid, he would become an uncontrollable monster, a soulless demon with the desire to kill and kill.” — The Mummy’s Hand, 1940
Don’t mess this up, Olive, or Kharis’ll rip the shit outta ya.
@Twinkles the Elf: As someone who was constantly bullied and is against bullying…I would bully the hell out of Olive. Her self centered “I’m so special and unique and better than everyone else” attitude is prime victim material.
DT: So Leda (no idea of this is a first or last name) dresses like the boss in Office Space, talks like a gay Hollywood agent, and marks his calendar like a teenage girl. The swan statue and the name of the company indicates that he has some commitment to theme, but he could be more consistent.
Dustin: Wait, I thought Dustin’s mom was a huge health nut who would never bake cookies unless she included gross ingredients like kale, or worse raisins?
JP: Oh please, like April is the only former government employee with shady contacts. Hell, these days that’s probably a plus on her resume.
Luann: No danger of that, Frank.
Phantom: Honestly, I’d think Diana would be used to her husband leaving like this by now. “Going to chase after a ghost Nazi plane, not back avenge death.”
RMMD: Even for Hollywood CPR, which has a success rate roughly inverse to reality, I’m calling BS on Cody’s ability to keep Jonah’s heart going until the EMTs arrived.
Mary Worth: As established yesterday, Mary has absolutely no tolerance or patience for belief systems different from her own, so she deftly moves the conversation away from reincarnation to her more usual wheelhouse of vague platitudes, delusional approaches to problem-solving, and aggressive conformity.
Heathcliff: I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that summer partying with an undead mummy sounds like some of the raddest shit ever.
Olive is starting to feel like a exaggerated caricature of a smug ego.
For example, there are stories people tell online, that are obviously made up to the point of laughable.
One woman said that she and her kid sister were at a store and two criminals burst in with guns holding the place up, the younger sister said to the criminals “Don’t do that! It’s mean!”
The criminals immediately realized the error of their evil ways and turned themselves in, and the city held a parade for the younger sister.
One person in the comments for this inane story joked “Was her sister Dora the Explorer?”
But regardless, what I’m getting at is, Olive is starting to feel like that same level of smug and unbelievability except she’s being written completely seriously on Moy’s part.
Heathcliff: Surf Mummy? I thought it was The Invisible Man!
Is Surf Mummy a regular part of Heathcliff’s summertime lore? I thought the cat was hanging out with the Invisible Man.
They both make the same amount of sense, so… that’s a major argument against both scenarios, isn’t it?
Curtis: Paris, Amsterdam???
MW: Olive has a chronic case of Main Character-itis. Whenever she senses a flagging of praise being heaped upon her, she starts up with the self-hagiography again.
“I’m proud of you, Olive.”
“How come? I mean, there are so many reasons to be proud of me; so very, very many that I’m not sure which of the many, many reasons to be proud of me you might be referring to. Please give specifics in your answer, Mary, and give lots of examples.”
Heathcliff was actually hanging out with Doom Patrol regular Negative Man.
BLONDIE: She’s smirking because that new ‘do isn’t any more outrageous than the old one.
FC: I used to wonder why the dad wore hot pants in the summer until I learned these comics were written in the ’70s. Then it made perfect sense to me.
Is it possible for the comic strip Mary Worth, to outdo Frazz in the “I’m better than everyone else and I’m going to smugly announce it, and everyone will agree with it and love me for it because its true” department?
Mary Worth: Just look at those dead eyes. Olive is obviously a robot.
@42 Activist: Yeah, “ugg” really describes it.
@44 Activist: Congratulations!
@49 taig: Of course it’s disgusting. What do you think a wet mummy would look like?
@54 Ukulele Ike: Mr. Allen created some good work.
@TLDR: Or in Futurama
Professor Farnsworth (carrying a small box) showing to the crew: I have here, an ancient mummified alien Pharoah (opens the box) he’s gone!
(Fry walks in while eating the mummy): Hey Professor, by the way, that was good jerky.
Professor Farnsworth: Damn you Fry! I was going to eat that mummy!
@Baja Gaijin: Like a desiccated corpse with wet toilet paper sticking to it. Duh.
The second panel after the title panel of Heathcliff is truly the greatest panel in all of comics history
@Hibbleton: 19- A crestfallen Dr. Morgan enters the waiting room to talk to Lorna and Cody:”I’m sorry. There was nothing we could do.” Lorna: ” You mean he’s …gone?” Rex: (sighs heavily) “I’m afraid so. It’s another case of improperly performed CPR by an untrained layman. When will they learn…when will they learn?” He turns and slowly walks away.
Heathcliff: Fidelity Davis of Columbia, Tennessee, sounds like a real corker. Tell us more about your stupid amphibious cat, Felicity!
@TheDiva:
Those three together??? Can Clint Eastwood come along? Seriously, 40 bucks a ticket
I found today’s Slylock Fox a lot more entertaining than a grown man really should. Something about a children’s brain teaser starring charming alliteratively-named animals centered around insurance fraud just gets me. I particularly like how Slylock has been forced to console a hysterical Shady Shrew despite knowing he’s full of shit.
Anyway Max and Rosa are both thinking “get a load of this guy” but with different inflections.
@79 taig: That looks a lot like what I posted.
@Chance: Simple and straight to the point. A classic.
MW- Restaurant, beach, hospital, museum. Ok Mary, you’ve shown her around her hometown. That should earn you enough points to sneak out and hook up with your actor “friend” this evening.
@Baja Gaijin: Oh please! No more creamed salmon! We’ve suffered enough!
@Baja Gaijin: I don’t know. I just figured Boris Karloff would have more gravytas.
@Lord Flatulence:
Honestly, I’d eat the Hell out of the Uggs one, assuming that was a typo, and not referencing the hideous ladies’ boot of 2003. Or am I completely lost, and Uggs are also something else, some Godless Scandinavian thing?
@A Grave Mind: Ugg Foods produces healthy, diet conscious foods that are gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, and, probably, flavor free.
@89 taig: I see what you did there!
@90 A Grave Mind: Not a typo; I purposely changed the name to be silly.
@91 Lord Flatulence: SNERK!
@taig: CS: So cancer has replaced Calgon?
Mary has long looked for a young lady to groom into her heir. But when all that is available is Toby or Dawn, not even she can do miracles! Olive is the clear choice. She has already the delusion of grandeur and the need to centre every good deed around herself! Next, Mary will teach her to bake some
goodmuffins and someediblesquare salmons and the succession is secure!@Lord Flatulence: More “encompassed” than “replaced,” since Calgon is definitely carcinogenic in the Battyverse.
@Ettorre: Why the long A?
@Lord Flatulence: “Cancer? You’re soaking in it!”
….no, wait — that was Palmolive
Speaking of Egypt, you know how there is bigger time gap between Cleopatra and the Pyramids than us and Cleopatra? This has nothing to do with today’s “Mary Worth” or “Heathcliff”, it is simply a fun fact that is more interesting than today’s “Mary Worth” or “Heathcliff”
@taig: Pro needs the ablative and in the first declesion — for name ending in “a” like Maria — the ablative lengthens the “a”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_declension
Mary Worth – “Mean Girls Group” sounds like a missed opportunity for a novelty musical genre of fans of the 2004 Lindsay Lohan classic high school comedy.
Heathcliff – I agree with Josh’s critique here. What cartoonist Peter Gallagher could have done was have Heathcliff and the Mummy make a sand pyramid, which the Mummy would disappear into until next summer.
DT: We are reaching the point where Costello is throwing so many names that are references to things at us that I’m losing track of what, if anything, they’re meant to signify. Kasandra for an investment firm almost made sense — Leda for one of the investors, I’m less sure about.
FG: “None of which answers the real question that has taxed the minds of Mongo’s finest historians: Were they boinking?”
Heath: Okay, am I the only one who read Kitty Korner and, just for a second, failed to read “tortoise” as a clipping of “tortoiseshell”, and thought “How can a cat have tortoise hair? Tortoises don’t even have hair!”
JP: Look, I know I keep talking about how incompetent Mean CIA Lady is, but trust me, Randy, nobody is incompetent enough for their intelligence-gathering plan to be “Let’s check if Randy Parker knows anything!”
Pluggers:
You’re a Plugger if you eat ice cream in the summer. Really?EDIT: Sorry, re-reading it, you’re a Plugger if you leave your freezer open to stay cool because you don’t understand how it works. That I’ll buy. And then they’re shocked at their electric bill.REX MORGAN M.D.: “Lorna? Yeah It’s Cody? Listen–I’ve got some bad news. You can tell it’s serious by the way I’m scrunching my face in an expression of mild concern as if our dinner reservations were postponed or something.”
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): I love the completely inelegant non-sequitur the doctor pulls in panel #5 where he asks, apropos of nothing, “you’re related?”, as if figuring out, “well of course Fake-Mud-Mountain was angry and agitated enough to stress out his heart if he’s related to this dipshit!”
“Well, I’m his brother,” Cody would respond. “That’s the only reason I give a shit. Do you see anyone else in the neighborhood even mildly curious about why this guy is collapsing on the ground after screaming his head off in utter fury? To be fair, they’re probably just all out being Champagne in case the hateful old gasbag doesn’t make it.”
So Olive didn’t “see” herself also in trouble and further endangering both Vicki and the lifeguard by giving the latter two people to rescue instead of just one when she could have instead just brought Vicki’s distress to the lifeguard’s attention? I guess nobody claimed that “psychics” had to be smart or not have hero complexes.
@TheDiva: Didn’t they already make a movie of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?”
Blondie: Gave Dag the ol’ “Lady Liberty” cut. Where’s that lamp buddy?
@Lord Flatulence: Clue #1 she is just making it up.
That’s not a mummy; that’s The Invisible Man. He’s wrapped in bandages so he can be seen. Heathcliff’s imaginary friend is invisible. Although Heathcliff would be able to see him, others would not, hence the bandages and sunglasses.
@Ettorre: Mary has long looked for a young lady to groom…
That’s exactly what this story is!
Curtis-“I’m jealous because my dog likes you” is just another red flag for the pile, dude. There’s a reason your family and most of your readers are shipping you with Chutney.
@Ukulele Ike: Or Mr. Whipple saying “Please don’t squeeze the tumor.”
@Crab-Man Hybrid: Well yeah. It you want to do “comics for kids”, you have to include topics they can relate to…like insurance fraud.
LUANN: Can these two just trade places, so they can be in roles they are more suited for? Have Puddles go to
Pokey Oaks Kindergarten“college” while Luann is trained not to wiz on the carpet (someone sure was projecting when thinking of pet names, eh, Luann?)@TheDiva:
Give him a break! He’s done nothing and he’s all out of ideas! (Oh I’m sorry, he was giving his half-brother CPR by…talking on his cell phone all this time. That’s totally how that works, right?)
@Lord Flatulence:
I agree.
Sally Forth Why is Ted Forth using a recipe from Baja Gaijin?
Luann-This semester Luann is taking advance finger painting where they mix the colors.
Dustin-“Think your sister will let me eat her cookies.”
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Snuffy remembers the time they were dancing and did butt bumps then Snuffy got stuck up Loweezy’s ass.
Heathcliff-Surf Mummy sounds like a Sixties surf song.
DT: Lorian gel, Kassandra, lots of classical references here. So is Tess’s plan to go there and show the zap zap gun and force the VC to sign back his 1/3rd of the company/project? And then silence him? Predicting his now, ultimately we’ll see the zap zap gun versus DT’s trusty 1911 like automatic pistol.
RMMD: Please let it just be a severe gastrick acid reflux attack.
MW: This has been quite a longish 2-3 days?
JP: Why bring Randy in if you haven’t gone over his phone conversation?
Phantom: much as I find the whole fundamental premise ludicrous, the artwork and committment to their story and internal consistency makes following this guy run around in a purple leotard with glowing striped shorts compelling.
Dumplings: But they can’t recognize the smell of wet dog.
Judge Parker: That gal’s got the pissiest pissy face that ever got pissed on.
Shoe: Next, Gravel Gertie enters the room and knocks the crap out of Cosmo.
@1214 Sequitur: Wouldn’t you look pissy if your a gal with Wilbur Weston’s face?
@Sequitur:
The hot dogs obscenely weep upon realization that they are, in fact, in Sally Forth
@123 Baja Gaijin:
youryou’re@Lord Flatulence: Yeah – are we supposed to think Michelle is full of merde? She’s putting on a show of being classy and cultured but can’t keep those European countries straight??
@Sequitur: Either that’s going to be of Dawn at middle age or the Wilbur Doppelgängers are starting to match the ugliness of the original. And by “original,” I mean Giella’s version with the incredibly shrunken face set in a very pudgy frame.
HEATHCLIFF: I object to “tortoise hair.” I object very strongly to “tortoise hair.” If you don’t have room for a long word, HEATHCLIFF, use another. “Tortie” is acceptable these days. “She was born a tortie with major tortitude.” There you go.
@Sequitur: You say pissiest, I say frowniest, but we agree.
MW: I would wish they’d talk about something else except that we just saw Mary, while standing in front of “Portrait of Madame X,” make John Singer Sargent sound boring. Clearly she has a dreadful gift, and a change of topic won’t help.
@125 Sequitur: If you check, I’m responding to your future comment at #1214. Seriously, that was an aggressive auto-cucumber.
MW: Surely I can’t be the only one who notices that Olive’s eyes look positively demented and googly? Is she having some sort of psychotic break?
Perhaps none of this is happening except in Olive’s mind, as she sits catatonic in a straitjacket, staring at the padded walls. Mary’s visit, the mean girls, the beach, the museum—all of it existing solely in Olive’s broken brain.
Perhaps Mary AND Vicki drowned at the beach—perhaps Olive is criminally insane. Perhaps she led them to their deaths.
@brendancalling:
Nah, they went to a hospital. One St. Elligius, colloquially known as Elsewhere….
Dumbest show ending ever
@Ettorre: That’s good news, because NOBODY gets between me and Cleopatra.
@Horace Broon: Re: DT: Perhaps Tess is going to dress in a Swan costume just before she fucks Mr. Leda up with her death ray. I’d like to watch that.
FG: Oh, they screw, all right. Like BUNNIES. You can’t tell me an Arborean wuss like Prince Barin can keep Emperor Ming’s sole offspring satisfied sexually. Azura the hot Witch-Queen taught her a few interesting moves. And Flash, used to all those prissy Vassar and Wellesley girls, can’t believe his luck.
@131 Baja Gaijin:
Wow, quite a bit in the future! Having a comment #1214 would have to occur during a Josh Christmas/New Year break!
@A Grave Mind: The worst part is, not even that it was dumb, but because of all the insane fan theories that popped up with it. The “90% of all of television canon takes place in an autistic child’s mind”
@Ukulele Ike: #134: re-FG: I think Aura married the wrong Arborean prince. She should’ve married Ronal, a proven heroic warrior, and left Barin to be the kittywhip of Queen Hatchetnose.
@Sequitur:
Silas remembers the time he was Bronskied by those bodacious sweater puppies.
FC: Looks like the San Francisco trip is over. I’m sure Bil Keane used it as a tax write off back in the 70s as research, but if Jeff Keane tries using it, I’m calling the IRS.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: The only problem with heroic warriors (not Flash) like Ronal is, they get dead. Aura got to pick between the Heir and the Spare and was smart to choose the latter, who’s still breathing.
Aura can always get some kinky action on the side (Flash Gordon. An odd Dragonman. Maybe a Shark- or Lionman. Maybe even the ol’ Kiran General Tahl, who seems like he’d be awfully good at tying pretty girls up in fascinating knots).
(BTW, I asked ChatGPT how Queen Azura managed to keep her outfit from falling off. The answer was “not addressed in-strip. Possibly butt-tape. Or magic.”)
Slick Smitty escaped Slylick Fox and is hiding in Six Differences!
@Ukulele Ike: (BTW, I asked ChatGPT how Queen Azura managed to keep her outfit from falling off.
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Wizard did it.
@Guillermo el Chiclero:FC: Looks like the San Francisco trip is over. I’m sure Bil Keane used it as a tax write off back in the 70s as research, but if Jeff Keane tries using it, I’m calling the IRS
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At least Jeff remembered to white out the Karl Malden cameo.
@Anonymous: Silas remembers the time he was Bronskied by those bodacious sweater puppies.
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Is Bronski that hip new artist who goes around tagging women’s upper frontals and calls it “street art”?
Mark Trail Spanish to English.
The Familliar Mucus: “Its hard for Daddy to desire if he wants to play football or baseball with us!” Bil’s thoughts: “Jeffy’s head is just about a perfect football shape, yet P.J. could be a baseball for yet another year, what to do? what to do?…if our kids had normal heads Thel and I could go bowling.”
@Ukulele Ike: . An odd Dragon man.
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Can two divorced Dragon men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
@Sequitur: “Here is one of my favorite creatures. It’s the Beer Drinking Rat!
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Interesting tap they’re drinking from in the bottom panel. “Oops! Sorry, Dad!”- Tom Servo MST3K, ” Johnny At the Fair”
@The Rambling Otter: . The “90% of all of television canon takes place in an autistic child’s mind”
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At least that explains “Manamal”.
Mary’s Worst: Careful, Olive, your mask is showing! Gotta be careful if you want to keep your tanuki origins secret.
@Sequitur: N.B.: There are cousins of the Beer Drinking Rat. They would be the Wine Drinking Rat and the Bourbon Drinking Rat. The Wine Drinking Rat is kind of a rose color and the Bourbon Drinking Rat is more of a dark brown.
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Which is the correct rat to serve with Baja’s Midnight Olive Salmon Surprise?
@Ukulele Ike: Um, we bunnies don’t generally talk about this, but our sexual congress is brief. We gotta be efficient or we’ll be dead. Foxes, owls, coyotes, bobcats, eagles, everybody wants us, and not in the good way. You want extended-copulation comparisons, look up Macleays marsupial mouse.
Late Thread Cuisine: It’s not salmon.
@154 Baja Gaijin:
Ah ha! That’s the one Ted Forth used today!
Here’s how this all came together.
@155 Sequitur: You said it, not me.
@156 Baja Gaijin:
Yes, I guess I did say it. @115 Sequitur:
Heathcliff: Guess Yummy Fruity Mummy was too expensive for the Zippy gig.
MW: The Gospels quote gives the game away. “Yeah, we’re all going out to dinner one night next week. There will be thirteen of us in all. But I feel like one of them is going to betray me in the near future. Maybe I’ll bring that up, just to clear the air.”
@Liam: Heathcliff-Surf Mummy sounds like a Sixties surf song.
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“Surf Skeeting Mummies” by Nick Rivers, ©1983 ZAZ Records.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
@taig: FC: That begs a question–why did the family wait until the Labor Day weekend to come home–and how and why did they come home so suddenly? Did Daddy get a “Dear Bil” letter from the melonheads’ “Uncle Roy” (which said that “Roy” found another fellow in the Castro district where Daddy and “Roy” were playing “doctor”)? We can only speculate!
@Baja Gaijin: No thanks. I’ve sworn off The Devil’s Hot Dogs.
@Baja Gaijin: That’s a color not found in nature.
BB: No, no Sarge, I’ve seen this in a movie. A mind control diet is when you’re captured in Korea and they make you think that you’re at a lady’s gardening club meeting, but someone’s really brainwashing you so that you won’t want to eat anything with cholesterol. They may also want you to assassinate a presidential candidate, depending on schedules.
C-Shaft: Crankshaft and Jeff look bored and sleepy today, which in context makes them more relatable.
DT: Here’s a plot twist. Tess will be the prime suspect if this guy bites it, but he’s already sealed his fate by trying to take away Milton’s red stapler.
Dustin: This might be cute if you think of Dustin as a very gangly seven-year-old. Not funny, obviously, but cute.
GA: Slim, lacking Dagwood Bumstead’s naïve charm, is rent to pieces, grilled, and eaten by the famished crowd.
JP: If she wanted to find out what Randy knew she could have just listened for the wind whistling between his ears.
Luann: “Try not to get too smart,” Frank says, knowing his sarcasm will sail right over his daughter’s head.
RMMD: “I may have kind have sort of killed your brother. I mean, he’s not dead yet, but when he wakes up and sees me near his hospital bed…”
@163 taig: You don’t like the Devil’s weiner?
@164 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Is the Devil considered part of nature?
@TheDiva: Re JP: I think at this point Ces knows that we know that whatever Russian mob faction captures April will turn out to be clowns, so the only way to build suspense is to ask us to believe that her erstwhile government superiors are competent and vengeful, rather than vaguely pissy.
@Ukulele Ike: Speaking of, Flash Gordon has Lion people and Shark people.
Where are the bunny people hiding?
@Baja Gaijin:
It may not be salmon, but it’s still offal.
@169 Anonymous: I see what you did there.
@The Rambling Otter: The Playboy Mansion, I assume.
@brendancalling: 132- She’s under the spell of Karis, who will make her his Queen for all eternity. Sorry Mary, but it’s the tar pits for you.
@Baja Gaijin: We are all familiar with Stephen Vincent Benet’s great story, “The Devil and Dan’l’s Wiener.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Perhaps Sarge should pass the time by playing a little solitaire.
@143 Ukulele Ike: SNERK!
Archie-Her name rhymes with a part of female anatomy.
@A Grave Mind: @The Rambling Otter: Where are the bunny people hiding?
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Vixen Park
@175 GarrisonSkunk:
Rat cheer.
@Sequitur: Is that the guardian of The Cave of Caerbannog?
@178 taig:
Sure, why not. It sure can bite your toe.
@Baja Gaijin:
Take credit! This all came together like the finest of Frasier episodes, I doff my hat.
@The Rambling Otter:
If they’re anything like Bugs, they are a mighty force to be feared, and oogled if they put dresses on
@The Rambling Otter: Heathcliff: Am I the only one who thought that the mummy turned into the Seagull?
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No, I thought so too.
Reincarnation is a female dog, normally, but especially when you turn into a bird next to a hungry cat.
@A Grave Mind: If they’re anything like Bugs, they are a mighty force to be feared, and oogled if they put dresses on
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Well, “Vixen Park'”s Tessa is a Surfing Bunnygirl who was remarkably chill when her newfound friend, Isla Grace, transformed into a tiny vixen in front of her.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FmvjUlZGvZA&t=1011s&pp=2AHzB5ACAcoFCnZpeGVuIHBhcms%3D
@Sequitur: Rat cheer.
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When you need to wash your rats,use All temper Rat Cheer™ Cleans then in cold,hot,and Luke warm water.(By the way, who’s Luke and why does he get a temperature named after him?)
Who asked for today’s “Shoe”/” Gearhead Gertie” crossover?