Soapy Thursday
Post Content
Judge Parker, 10/23/25
I don’t know if I’ve actually spelled out the current Judge Parker situation, but it goes like this: April vanished after her Norwegian spy encounter and Randy vanished after going off in search of her, leaving their daughter Charlotte in the care of her increasingly drunk and depressed grandparents and, once they got too drunk and depressed, Neddy. Charlotte has been rather shy and withdrawn under her semi-competent care, until she got wind that Neddy and Sophie had a pet squirrel at one point in their youth (possibly in their foundling days before Sam and Abbey took them in, this is deep lore from before my time) and went absolutely berserk. You never know what’s going to trigger a child who’s experienced significant emotional trauma, but that face in panel two is one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen in the comics. I assume that Neddy is holding onto her temple because Charlotte’s shrieks are growing so intense that she’s afraid her skull is going to shatter like an eggshell.
Mary Worth, 10/23/25
Speaking of terrifying children and their mental powers, I am dying at Jeff’s dialogue here. You have to imagine that “Did that really happen, Mary?” was put in a painfully neutral tone, and then, when he had to come back with “I agree with you. I’ve been around enough to have seen things in life that cannot easily be explained!” he took it to the next level of neutrality, because he knows he needs to be very careful if he wants to get back to shore alive.
Dick Tracy, 10/23/25
Hey, remember Silver Nitrate, who last we saw a year and change ago was having a hard time in prison? Well, he’s still having a hard time, and now he’s got to decide if he trusts the prison infirmary to dispense psychopharmaceuticals that will actually soothe his mind instead of potentially making things worse. It’s a real downer! I think this strip should go back to violent gangsters with weird shaped heads shooting tommy guns at people, personally!
121 replies to “Soapy Thursday”
JP: “Judge Parker” is now “Sally Forth”…..
S4th: …. and “Sally Forth” is now “Classic Peanuts”.
FLASH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!: Nice going, Ming. You’ve turned the planet into Costco on Black Friday.
JP:
“I’m so glad that that laser treatment got rid of my freckles, Aunt Neddy! — now I don’t have to pose for the ‘Wendy’s’ image anymore!”
MW:
This back-and-forth badinage of meaningless aphorisms has all the excitement of watching a badminton match.
MW-“Mary, have you been taking your medication?”
Beetle Bailey-Looks like they are rebooting ‘Beetle Bailey’.
MW-Like how Wilbur could fall off a moving cruise ship and still live. Like how Jeff continues to go out with Mary.
JP:
“Oh, Auntie Neddy, you’re so cool! — in fact, you’re so cool that even the Beatles sang a rhyme about you!”
“Really? — what did they sing?”
” ‘Her name was ‘A pill’
And she called herself ‘ill’
But everyone knew her as gantts-y’ !”
MW: Jeff knows which side he wants to get his bread buttered on, and will say whatever it takes.
Of course we all know he’s only going to pay the bill at the Bum Boat, and get some hand-holding on the moonlit pier, which makes it even more pathetic.
I want to see a gender swapped version of The X-Files with Jeff and Mary.
“You really think aliens are real?”
“Yes, I have seen them.”
“I believe you.”
This needs to kick off two weeks of Judge Parker where Neddy attempts to catch a squirrel, only for said squirrel to repeatedly foil her, forcing her into pratfalls, wisecracking all the while, in true Friz Freleng fashion. Stupid? Sure! But no worse than neither of these dumbshits noting you can’t just buy a goddamn squirrel.
MW:
“I’ve never tried to pop a wheelie before with an 80-foot boat, but this seems like the time to try!”
Meanwhile, Charlotte activates the Smilex gas device.
“No pills? Quick, somebody get this man a time-travelling painting!”
MW:
“Jeff, what is that prominent orb on the starboard side of the boat? — it can’t be the moon, because we’re in broad daylight, but it can’t be the sun, either, because it has too much definition to it at this time of the day. So what exactly is it?”
“Oh, that’s just the supposed ‘comet’ that’s been making the news recently that is hurtling toward earth at incredible speeds and is actually a craft from an alien civilization that’s going to destroy all of earthly life as we know it!”
“Gee, thanks for that explanation. Say, where are we going for dinner after this ride, anyway?”
JP I love how the kids in this strip find starting a surveillance regime just as exciting as a new pet.
MW You know, I had never considered Mary being an unreliable narrator in this strip, but it would explain so. much.
@Anonymous: that was me, consarnit
Dustin: In real life a gym teacher would never pit a small kid against a real big one and could get in trouble if they did. Schools have strict rules that children of similar size and athletic abilities should be pitted against one another in sports that involve physical contact. The big bruisers wrestle the other big bruisers and the scrawny little kids wrestle the other scrawny little kids. That’s why wrestling has weight classes.
Put a red plus-shaped rash on her face and she’s straight out of the “Crossed” series.
@Bob Tice: It’s another of the missing balloons. Stanley’s wasn’t the only one hit by the freak storm, but he was the only balloonivator with a dog telepath on board, so the others are doomed.
MW- I love how the two of them just stare straight ahead during this scintillating conversation. Jeff must be thinking “If I look at her, I’m going to start laughing, and no accidental boob graze tonight”.
Mary is thinking “Yes Olive, I will tell him how special you are”
MW: “Yes, each of us have more individual abilities than we even realize or use.”
-Thought bubble-
“Like sex, Mary? Like actual effin’ sex! Oh my God. Why do I stay with this platitude spouting ice queen? Kill me now.”
Tomorrow in Luann: Chuck Cunningham.
MW: what in the name of all that is true and lovely does Jeff see in that creepy woman?
MW: Wrap it up, Jeff: “You’re truly wonderful, Mary, for doing whatever it is that you did most recently.”
GT: Was Mimi/Emily (can’t believe it’s not “Emili”) EVER supposed to be likable? I mean, what’s her problem now?
JP: It’s not the enthusiasm for a pet that I find alarming, it’s the plan to turn the pet into some sort of spy/weapon.
JP — Hoping for a spin-off strip, Charlotte the Menace! Panel two alone shows more of the eponymous adjective that that fraud Dennis has displayed this century.
MW — “I’m a medical doctor, trained in the scientific method, who comes up against all manner of quack theories. Are you sure that really happened?”
“Yes, each of us have more individual abilities than we even realize, or use.”
“OK, I’m convinced!”
@Professor Well Actually: Does it help if I note that her full name is Mary Sue Worth?
Does Silver Nitrate have a brother named Emil? ‘Cause that would give me a giggle.
Beetle Bailey : thinks his strip should be rebooted.
…You know, the strip COULD stand to be modernised and overhauled…
************
Judge Parker : Charlotte wants to become Squirrel Girl, but seems to be turning into the Joker… or the Hobgoblin… or some generic Gremlin.
*************
Luann : DELTA RETURNS!? What’s next, we’re going to get Krystal and Knute back, too?
…Though it’s kinda lame that Delta returns only as part of a dream sequence, and in the role of a character that’s usually just a fraudulent sham
unless the Evansii have an even looser grasp on what The Wizard of Oz is about than I thought…*************
Mary Worth : One of the things that Dr Jeff has seen that cannot be easily explained, and is just as impossible as Olive’s powers, is his relationship with Mary Worth.
MW:
“YES. Each of us have more individual abilities than we even realize…or USE!”
“I AGREE with you! However, since the subject of your sentence, ‘Each’, is singular, you should have said, “Each of us HAS….” I mean, if you want to be grammatically correct….”
An uncomfortable silence followed, then a splash off the port side.
Mary steered the Compensation toward the dock by the Bum Boat.
“Table for one,” she said to the host as she entered.
Judge Parker: Oh Josh, you’re just terrified of that face because you’re not used to kids getting hyper for no reason, unlike us experienced parents, who are terrified and traumatized by that face, because we’re used to it.
(Alt joke: The true terror is and always has been someone smiling in Judge Parker. With sincerity, even!)
@Anonymous: Dangit, I knew that was going to happen. Sometimes, you can just sense when the cookies are made with margarine. Anyway, 29. was me.
I underestimated Mary’s ability to talk about Olive for a solid week after she left. Praying for the sweet release of a Wilbur story.
Dick Tracy: It’s funny because the prison cares about the mental health of its inmates, instead of just trying to snow them into compliance! [Glances at dead-eyed nurse again] Or not…
Mary Worth: When the sun goes down and the moon comes up, Mary assumes her true, terrifying form: a Wereglurge. (Jeff scoops some ice and pours another scotch. He’s used to it.)
JP: A few days ago, I said that there might be a strip that could realistically portray alcoholism, but Judge Parker was not that strip. I now confidently predict that JP will also prove unable to depict the problems with trying to make a wild animal into a pet.
MW: “Of course I believe in telepathy, Mary. It’s just a coincidence that I was embracing you from behind in panel one, and then abruptly switched to standing shoulder-to-shoulder beside you in panel two.”
Also: This entire week of Mary Worth makes much more sense once you realize that Dr. Jeff has built a rock-solid relationship with Mary by turning down his hearing aids, spouting random questions and platitudes in her direction, and just letting her talk. Just. Let. Her. Talk.
MW “I’ve been around long enough to have seen things in life that cannot be easily explained – like this noonday brightness with some sun or full moon low in the sky! Why, that could lead to a long series of convoluted explanations discussed and debated in an internet comment thread. Personally, my favourite is that it’s sunset but we’re in the middle of a zone with an experimental space mirror reflecting light down, brightening our area unnaturally!”
@A Grave Mind: Of course you can buy a pet squirrel, this is America. I guess you don’t spend a lot of time in Florida. Here you go: https://adoptasquirrelnow.com/
@Vanya:
Man, here the People’s Republic Of New York, DEC or whoever kills pet squirrels. Seriously!
Josh, I am 100 percent sure that the squirrel is not from before your time, because I have vivid memories of reading those strips here. Not that I blame you for forgetting, those late Woody Wilson strips were bizarre, and I am pretty sure that only nostalgia and irony make people remember them fondly.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Also in real life, no child in 21st century America is going to repeatedly be held back in second grade. Of course, real life can’t get in the way of a joke as hilarious as this.
MW: Dr. Jeff, who believes in logic and has never seen Olive, deduces her psychic powers originating from a huge misshapen bald head like a sci-fi alien.
“That must be one of those ‘cannot be easily explained’ things.” He thinks.
Dustin: if this kid had to wrestle a boy older and significantly bigger than him the match would be over ib seconds so no need for the black eye. It’s wrestling not boxing.
…and 250 bucks for a squirrel??? That kid is getting a stuffed toy, and a crappy sandwich.
mary worth = the boat gets smaller every day it looks like a oversized jet ski today
@Rube:
Yes, the ‘Dude’ was a feature in Feb. 2015. I believe he was killed by neighbor Waverly’s cat.
I’m not saying Mary Worth can’t reposition into a weekly paranormal drama, but it’s definitely not gonna be X-Files style, more like Touched by an Angel. The kind of show somebody’s aunt watches. Within that, fuck it, everything’s gotta be attached to established IP these days, why not go for it? Go pitch Worthy of More, a show about an old lady and her teen friend the dog psychic, mentally calling pets to the site of a disaster every Tuesday. It’ll be unbelievably terrible, but there’s an outside chance a newcomer actor really crushes the part of Wilbur (season 1 villain).
BB: Which government agency are these unqualified specimens being recruited for? I think I know.
JP: The good news: Charlotte is now acting in an age-appropriate manner. The bad news: up until now she’d been the most mature and responsible person in her life.
MW: Give it up, Jeff; she’s never going to put out for you.
MW: As the Mudge who has Doctor Jeff in the Dead Pool, I am experiencing an irrational burst of hope. Tell Mary your real opinion, Jeff! Tell her what you genuinely think, as someone who studied science in order to become a medical professional, about her verbose unbearable woo-woo! This is an excellent time in history to die as a martyr for defending science, and I assume the ocean water is cold enough that drowning, after she shoves you off your boat, wouldn’t be as painful as it would be in, say, a condo-complex swimming pool. And some of us, meaning me, would deeply appreciate and admire your noble sacrifice, even as we chanted, thinking of the Dead Pool, “YES! YES! YES!”
Oh, so they’ve changed the name of the strip to Judge, Punch Her — now I get it.
I’d say “no, because squirrels are wild animals so keeping one as a pet is cruel and unfair to it” but Charlotte’s face in the second panel is telling me that wouldn’t be a problem for her.
***
I’m sorry, but if someone of Mary’s advanced age just casually told me someone used telepathy I’d be immediately looking to move her to a long-term care home.
***
Being told to drink out of a small yellow cup in a medical location is something anyone should shy away from.
HtH: Hagar is in big trouble now, because the King is a Pepsi man.
MW: Doctor Jeff is a member in good standing of the Fortean Society.
Phantom: Oh my GOD, this is absolutely delicious. I love patrolwoman Fu Manchu’s little pictorial fantasy, and I’m wondering whether she’ll be captured by the bad guys and and given a swirlie in a latrine full of poop tomorrow or if this is going to extend into next week.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Really, in second grade the kids wouldn’t be doing something as high-contact and technical as wrestling at all–they’re doing tagging games or playing with the rainbow parachute. Item #5,932,197 in “Writers Who Write Children While Knowing Jack All About Them.”
“Dr. Gottlieb, I have some concerns about the activation phrase. ‘Pet squirrel’ seems like it could be used more often than you think. Maybe ‘pet helicopter’ or ‘mauve squirrel?'”
“Exactly who is running MKUltra, Dr. Cameron, you or me? ‘Pet squirrel’ is the phrase.”
“Is this because Jimmy Angleton has a pet squirrel, sir?”
“No comment.”
@Vanya: Wow. That’s…blatant. Here is Florida legal reality, which is similar to the reality in most states: “It is not legal to have a pet squirrel in Florida. It is illegal to take any native wild animal, including squirrels, from the wild for the purpose of keeping them as a pet. To legally own a squirrel, it must be acquired from a USDA-licensed breeder and you must obtain a Class III Personal Pet No-Cost Permit.” I did a brief search of that website and as far as I could tell, they don’t NEEEED no steenkin’ permits.
@TheDiva: Well, in fairness, the writers of Dustin also know jack all about adults.
@Rube: re JP: You are correct, sir! I don’t know why Josh is pretending to not remember the saga of the Road Queen motor home adventure, where the infamous Dude the Squirrel was a stowaway! What a time that was (early 2015). He (Dude, not Josh) was just a young Rodent then, getting his start in show biz. We had plans to bring him back the following year, with a wife and family, but you know how it goes… deals fall through.
You wouldn’t believe how many calls and texts I’ve gotten from Squirrels since yesterday – all claiming to be descendants of Dude and wanting the new role! He was really a prolific guy, it seems. We’ll do DNA testing, of course.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Now that you mention it, Charlotte does look like she’s thinking of Tom Lehrer’s “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park”. And maybe we’ll do in a squirrel or two…
Ah well, it’s not like tormenting small animals is a warning sign of anything.
Also also Mary Worth: “Of course I believe in telepathy! I experience a broad range of human emotions.”
“I think you mean empathy, or sympathy?”
“Oh ho ho, don’t be silly. You don’t get a boat this size by understanding other people’s emotions.”
MW: Moy should have had Olive hang around till the end of the month for a ‘Pet Sematary’ themed psychic Sunday strip.
The narration box sets the scene with a quote from the novel:
—Stephan King
@Rube: I remember Dude the (illegal) pet squirrel, and I’m almost certain that for a couple of weeks at least, Dude was running around in a great big trailer during a great big improbable rich-family’s road trip. Meanwhile, can I remember where my Social Security card is, or how to parallel park, or the last time my to-do list wasn’t three pages long? Helz no.
Arlo & Janis: I am old enough to remember the Looney Tunes gag about a spoon dissolving in a cooking pot. Nice callback.
Leave it to Crankshaft to remember that the only “lawsuit abuse” is by tort lawyers. Corporate lawyers at GE, GM, General Dynamics, and General Mills thank you for the blameshifting.
Lockhorns: This is a punchline in search of some buildup. What, exactly, does the reader know about Leroy and football? He’s not exactly Gil Thorp.
Pluggers would love a smart refrigerator, which knows to automatically order bacon delivery when it runs out. If only internet-connect appliances didn’t stand for everything they hate.
Gil Thorp: A kid hanging upside-down on the monkey bars, and the hair obeying the laws of gravity? Guest artist Kit Mills is just showing off, and good for him.
Beetle Bailey: Eyeglasses? Pens in shirt pocket? Specialist Chip Gizmo is getting either a new best friend or new sworn enemy.
Blondie: AWS’ outage has accidentally created the most topical Blondie since Dagwood’s tirade against Nixon’s Secretary of Agriculture Earl Butz during the beef price spike.
FC: Thel is just relieved that Dolly didn’t say “awful wedded wife” in a church. This time.
H&L: How many second-graders had to be taken away by ambulance that Ditto was promoted from waterboy to halfback? (Yes, I’m repeating myself. I’m not putting any more effort into this than Walker & Brown Comic Simulation Consolidated did.)
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Bwahaha!
A lot of schools don’t even even allow dodgeball anymore, but this one has wrestling as a non-optional activity? Which resulted in an elementary school student going home with a black eye, which appears to be untreated? I say it again: Dustin needs to get out of 1978.
C’shaft: Huh, I would think with Crankshaft on the road personal injury lawyers wouldn’t need to go so niche.
Dustin: Yesterday, the strip was making fun of nerds as undesirable losers. Today, it makes fun of jocks as violent and stupid. I mean, we all know Parker and Kelly’s spite and loathing is all-encompassing, but it’s not often that the scope is this clearly delineated.
GT: Why is Keri suddenly calling their mom by her name? That’s something you reserve for the interloping step-parent.
Luann: The Wizard of Oz playbook says the first encounter with the title character should be with their false public persona, so who’s the proverbial man behind Delta’s curtain? (Minds out of the gutter, please.) I’m guessing Gunther.
MT: You don’t know what cottagecore means, do you? (You decide if this is addressed to Holly or Jules.)
Pluggers eat the entire pack of bacon in one sitting, which tracks.
RMMD: Oooooh, I think he’s going to ask The Question! “Summer, darling, would you do me the honor of being my beta reader?”
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: That’ll teach me to post before checking all previous comments. Your record-keeping is impressive!
MW: Not that this whole story isn’t stupid, but Olive’s “psychic powers” are completely unverifiable. Yes, the dogs inexplicably ran a long difference to their crashed balloon, but the Internet pet glurge-o-sphere is full of stories like that. Which only helped them because they crashed right next to a road leading into No Cellular Service State Park.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Apparently a lot of schools have switched to “gaga ball,” which has a lot of dodgeball elements but among other things only allows for hits below the waist. Honestly it looks like a lot more fun than having a bunch of red exercise balls chucked at your face; I wish we’d had it when I was growing up.
MW: Thank you, previous commenters who noticed that weird round thing in the sky! It seems that even the laws of light, time, and astronomy must bow to Mary when she wants…whatever this boat ride is.
Let’s face it, Pluggers never have leftover anything.
@Poteet: Dude showed up around Christmas 2014 and disappeared on Epiphany 2015. Comments are unavailable, but I’m sure someone pointed out the religious symbolism, and the possibility that Dude accidentally got packed when they took down the Christmas tree.
Josh, you had an especially pithy commentary about the Dude on Christmas Eve 2014. Use the Archives.
MW: “I’ve been around enough to see things in life that cannot easily be explained. Like just why anyone reads a story arc about Wilbur Weston.”
JP: Neddy should wear a collar that glows in the dark and has a tracking device.
@Rube: Yeah, same here. It was January-February 2015 or thereabouts and the squirrel’s name was “the Dude.”
MW – “I’ve been around enough to have seen things in life that cannot easily be explained! Most of the Six Chix comics, for example!”
Arlo … That someone slipped a spoon made of gallium into your utensil drawer?
Judge Parker: A bit weird that Judge Parker has decided to tell the origin story of beloved Marvel Comics character Squirrel Girl, but I’m willing to hear it out.
Mary Worth: Mary subtly begins the work of breaking down Dr. Jeff’s sense of skepticism and independence as she prepares to induct him into the Cult of Olive.
Dick Tracy: Back in the good ol’ days of this comic, this would he setup for Dick Tracy to horribly murder Silver Nitrate by pouring several pounds worth of antipsychotics down his throat to induce an overdose. Nowadays, the comic has become so toned down that I’d be surprised if Nitrate even suffers police brutality at all, let alone dies.
@Ken: Thankfully, they found the Dude again, and he came home with them. Not sure how Josh could forget this adorable li’l guy — maybe he was trying to block out Sophie’s fisheye-lens-style face from that Christmas Eve? Why is Judge Parker so determined to associate squirrels with horrifying children’s faces?
@Bob Tice: #4
I say there, good fellow…the real challenge of badminton is whether to call the webbed/feathered projectile a “birdie” or a “shuttlecock”!!! Cheerio pip pip!!
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: “Mary Worth: When the sun goes down and the moon comes up”
And long ago somebody left with the cup. But Jeff is still driving, and striving, and hugging the turns, and thinking of a harridan for whom HE STILL BURNS!!!
He’s going the distance. That’s right! First Base!
Almost…
JP – …and he has to water ski!
MW – In Thailand, some of the companion girls are actually boys…and nobody minds, either…um…at least that’s what I heard….
DT – If you prefer, we can have Officer Stalin administer it as a suppository….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: #21: And the day after that, Adam Cartwright and Steve Douglas’ oldest son, Mike.
MW – “I’ve seen things in life that cannot easily be explained. Such as why a highly successful and wealthy doctor such as myself, who appears to be somewhere in his 50s, would be dating a septuagenarian busybody who never shuts up? It’s clearly not for the sex. Anyone who follows this strip knows that ain’t happening, nohow, no way.”
MW: is Jeff a gym fanatic or does he get those impressive, buff arms by pleasuring himself after another frustrating date with Mary?
JP: I just realized that Neddy’s “I’ll think about it” may be prompted by imagining the conversation after “No”, where she has to explain to Charlotte that, yes, Neddy had a squirrel ten years ago, but that was back when the laws weren’t applied to the Parkers, and now that Grandpa is a drunk and has lost the respect of his judicial colleagues and local law enforcement…
@Professor Well Actually: That’s another thing that’s easily explained by the new “Mary is an unreliable narrator” theory — Jeff isn’t that buff and handsome. In fact, Jeff might not even exist, though that’s getting into the equally-plausible “Mary is a heavily-medicated psychotic in a mental ward” theory.
Not only that, RFK Jr. says it’s true.
They have quickly made Charlotte as unlikeable as the rest of the bunch, but I will cling to sweet Charlotte in the September 25 Fudge Packer and the cogent observation from TheDiva of “Very telling that Charlotte’s first assumption is that if she points out her school bully Neddy will put a hit out on her.”
Dr Jeff thinks he is a man of science. He would really like to debunk Mary’s ESP bullshit and astrology, but he really, really wants her to put out. But if he were a true man of science, he would know, after repeated trials, that Mary will never put out
“I’ve been around enough to have seen things in life that cannot easily be explained. Like that lake in the Vietnamese jungle, near the border with Laos, hidden under triple canopy jungle that some of my patients brought me to. They were chanting, a blasphemous sing-song, and daubed themselves with toxic paints made from various plants and frogs. A mist rose over the lake, thick and white, and an impossible smell, sweet and deathly, filled my nose. From the mist and the water a pale bleached tentacle arose, questing hungrily for me. It touched my forehead and I felt a presence so vast and ancient that I fell to my knees in reverence, offering myself body and soul to the New God. But it turned away, said I had been claimed by one older and greater than itself. And then I fell into fever and out of time, and when I awoke I was back in Ho Chi Minh City and you were there, Mary. I still wonder what being was more puissant than the thing in the jungle. Maybe someday I’ll find out.”
Mary smiles. “Maybe so, Jeff, maybe so.”
Judge Parker: Is Kid Charlotte scary? Absolutely! However, she’s also hilarious and just enough like a real kid that it’s not off-putting. Works or me, y’all!
I love how quickly Dr. Jeff 180s on the whole psychic powers thing. his initial skepticism was merely a test to see if Mary was serious now that she’s reaffirmed her belief he is eager to share his medical perspective on the strange human abilities he has witnessed and the copious notes he has collected but dares not publish for fear of his reputation.
Why in the world would anyone want to fuck Mary? She’s a two-bagger all the way.
DT – Silver Nitrate has been paranoid about the prison authorities ever since he overheard one of his fellow inmates saying to another, “The food here is so unhealthy. All those cured meats. They’re full of nitrates.”
BB: As a couple of commenter noted, Camp Swampy is undergoing a reboot.
Per the orders of the Secretary of War! (HOOH! Good gawd, y’all).
The troops are headed to Portland and Halftrack is getting the gilded bar of his dreams
Don Abundio, translated:
“Abundio! Stop checking out the women!”
[Sign: ART GALLERY]
“I can’t take you anywhere”
“Some people look at the front of a work of art…”
“And some people prefer the back side!”
@Voshkod:
“Saigon. Shit. When I was here, I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle.”
Condensed for effect.
Luann: I suppose if you eat a lot of the big cheese, you’ll need to conjure a toilet.
@A Grave Mind: I have to admit the line doesn’t work as well with ‘Ho Chi Minh City.’
@Tripod: And a “gnaw yer arm off in the morning”
Judge Parker: It’s hard to tell how old anyone is in this strip, given their preternaturally smooth faces (and the fact that only the men show their gray hair as they age, as a sign of stress and/or authoritarianism). In this case, I guess we know that Neddy is the guardian here, based on the tiny line under her eye that comes out when she’s annoyed or in pain. And Charlotte is the child, despite the nasolabial folds over her mouth and the glabellar lines between her eyes — which add to her delightfully manic expression now, but will need to be erased with whatever new facial poison the family is using instead of Botox by the time she turns 27.
DT: OK – so two days of Silver Nitrate being unhappy in prison. ? Where will this go ?
GT: good art again, setting a confrontation at the reunion?
Phantom: Not complaining but Confused – is the general dictator of his own country? If so, “Jungle Patrol” has as much jurisdiction as the Paw Patrol or Puppy Patrol, whichever show has the cute dogs dressed up as police. If he is a rogue then wouldn’t the president of the country (who is pals with Mr. Purple with striped underpants) take action?
RMMD: Day is over? We got one long anecdote and then clinic is closed? I guess all of the patients got tired of sitting waiting for the intake staff to get to work. How will Rex and June have enough money for cake now?
MW: OK I finally get it. The doc once was in love with Mary, but she never returned his affection. Later after his family had grown and his wife had passed on (that is passed on living with him any more) he sought her out hoping to rekindle some romance, but found that she is in the throes of early dementia. She keeps perseverating over her past role as official busy body. “Okay Mary, so you met this girl who can talk with animals using her mind? How nice (makes mental note to check on her med dosing – anticholinergic side effects)”
Judge Parker – This is the dark origin story of Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toon Adventures.
Mary Worth – Dr. Jeff knows Wilbur is still alive despite the best efforts of Poseidon, and there is no purpose in angering the ancient sea god while you travel his domain.
Dick Tracy – After decades of plummeting crimes rates, more information about the sociological causes of crimes, evidence of malfeasance by the corporate elite against the general population, and knowledge of the brutal police and carceral state’s role in the system, Dick Tracy is starting to come to terms with its role as copaganda.
Well, not fully, but they’ll make an stand-in for opioid manufacturers and private prison profiteers. Perhaps a sack-headed person for the Sackler family?
@Ken: Thank you!! Those links are wonderful.
MW- Is Dr Jerr perhaps Mary’s doctor a la Shutter Island?
I think he’s trying to get her to realize that all these people who had problems solved by her, were actually people she killed thinking that their problems are solved.
Some of her delusions are stronger than others thats why Wilbus shows up years after she threw him overboard, while Kieth Hillend was a one and done after some “laced” muffins.
@Voshkod:
I’m actually pretty sure most Vietnamese still call it Saigon, and now they’re much less likely to have their fingernails ripped out for doing so!
Crank: Boy, targeted advertising is quite a thing, isn’t it?
JP, meta: As others have pointed out, the Dude the Squirrel saga wasn’t before Josh’s time at all, and as proof I offer this post, in which Sophie looks even more Nuts About Squirrels than Charlotte does here.
Phantom: Since I’m already linking to ancient posts: Goodness, a Jungle Patrolwoman whose fantasies about her future in the Patrol don’t involve boinking the Unknown Commander! Or maybe she just hasn’t got to that part yet.
If the Dick Tracy team wants to bring back Silver Nitrate for a few days each year just to show us how depressed and lonely and miserable he is in jail, it’s okay with me. Next Monday: NEW ADVENTURE! Steve the Tramp comes back from the dead and punches Stooge Viller in the nose!
GT: “My old football days didn’t end well. As the only girl on the team, 5 foot one and weighing 105 pounds, by the end of the season opener I had four broken limbs and a major brain concussion. I have no idea why my parents or the coach allowed me to play.”
@TheDiva: So it’s dodgeball, but they disallow hits above the waist? Sounds reasonable, actually.
Neddy in JP panel 2 is thinking now “OK I get why the family wanted to keep her morose!”
@Banana Jr. 6000: Basically. There’s other differences–it takes place in a kind of hexagonal court, the play is more a free-for-all melee rather than teams, and you’re supposed to only bat the ball with your hands, not throw it–but the basic premise is still “ball coming at you, try not to get hit.”
@Rube: The squirrel was a “guest” in the RV during the great “Oh Noes! We’re in an RV park and weather is happening!” saga.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Until you catch a hard red rubber athletic ball directly in the nuts.
Down on the football, the football field
You never can tell what a heel can wield
So you gotta wear your jock a lot
Jock a lot jock a lot
— “Boobs a Lot,” The Fugs
DT: The way that reflection on the door bisects the words “PRISON INFIRMARY,” I read it as “PRISON MARY.” And, suddenly, I had a vision for the next year of Mary Worth.
JP: Least surprising twist ever: Charlotte is part squirrel.
MW: “‘Course I did a lot of peyote in my younger days. Say, did you catch last night’s Wheel of Fortune? Pretty wild conclusion, huh?”
@A Grave Mind: She gets C-Store muffins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Link, for those unfamiliar with the Fugs or the Holy Modal Rounders
@Rube: I remember those squirrel strips, too. They ran about 10-15 years ago (if my memory is correct…it could’ve been longer). I didn’t find the story arc particularly exciting, at least not compared to some of the late ’90s JP adventures, like when a gun-toting maniac had it in for all lawyers, and was making a beeline for Sam’s office. Of course, sudden donnybrooks breaking out in Norwegian coffee shops is intriguing.
@A Grave Mind: Probably, but Jeff can’t stand up to Mary, much less the Communist Party of Vietnam.
JP: Charlotte is giving me full In the Court of the Crimson King vibes. I can’t be the only one, can I?
@Voshkod:
Or a particularly stern, well, anybody
@Maltmash3r: So you’re saying we’ll soon have a scene of police detectives searching Mary’s condo. One pulls out a box of carefully-wrapped, half-eaten muffins and says “What the hell is this?” The other takes one look and says “Trophies.”
(Yes, yes, I stole it from Dexter.)