Norwegian! Would?
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Judge Parker, 11/22/25
A few months ago Sophie and Reena experienced a certain amount of panic and anxiety in the wake of witnessing an April-involved spy encounter that turned violent, but eventually things settled down and they went back to what they had moved to Norway for in the first place: working ill-defined jobs for Sophie’s boyfriend’s wealthy family’s charitable foundation, which, as the setup for all this suggests but does not adequately explain, is based in Norway for some reason, where Sophie’s boyfriend and/or his family do not live. Reena has started dating some guy and Sophie has stopped leaving the house, but now, just to feel something and also because as a character in a supposed soap opera comic strip she feels a certain obligation, Reena is attempting to stir up drama by setting Sophie up with a handsome (?) Norwegian in a cat burglar outfit. Would this cause trouble with Sophie’s boyfriend, who, as mentioned, is more or less their employer? Probably! But quite frankly we deserve some not-well-thought-through action in this strip for once. It will beat all the moping!
Blondie, 11/22/25
Dagwood Bumstead is a man who never met a disgusting novelty foodstuff he didn’t like, so clearly his little temper tantrum isn’t because his daughter is promoting the vile turducken over the noble turkey. No, I assume that, while he knows he can’t show it in front of his family, he’s absolutely devastated that he toils away at DithersCo while his daughter has stumbled into his dream job of doing front-facing camera short-form videos about weird food stuff. “It should’ve been me,” he thinks. “She doesn’t even like giant sandwiches. It should’ve been me.”
54 replies to “Norwegian! Would?”
Judge Parker:
“I have to say, I haven’t seen a fake mustache that bad-looking since Chef Boyardee plastered his countenance on canned food products!”
Judge Parker:
“We get to parties on time by deftly navigating our Mustang Mach Es around the glacier-produced inlets that dot our landscape! As the old saying goes, ‘Think fjord first‘ !”
I was going to complain that the Blondie artists are inconsistent as to whether there is a counter next to the fridge. Then I realized the Bumsteads must have like, eight different fridges.
Blondie: You’d think that a Turkey stuffed with a duck that is stuffed with chicken would be Dagwood’s dream meal. Is the whole glutton things just an act? Feet of Clay, Dagwood. Feet. Of. Clay.
Judge Parker:
“While we’re talking all this through, ladies, how about if you amuse yourselves by pounding the ornamental flowers on the premises with the distinctive Norwegian mallet that’s lying around here?”
“Really? — what do you call that tool, anyway?”
“A ‘Lillehammer‘ !”
Blondie: Dag is apoplectic because his daughter is doing an online “vlog,” and he’s pretty sure that has something to do with porn. Yes, he knows that “turducken” isn’t actually a bizarre sex act, but in his mind, there’s nothing more sexual than foods stuffed into other foods.
However, i can certainly complain that Dagwood has somehow got his face and right leg parallel to the fridge he’s supposed to be thumping.
MW:
“You look very happy and fulfilled!”
“That’s because Ian’s not here. It has nothing to do with the damned bird.”
Mary Worth Mashups: What if different programs were playing on the television? Three alternative final panels give you options. Which do you like best?
Blondie: Beating on the stainless steel fridge is not the best way to cope with your sexual attraction to your daughter, Dagwood. You knew damn well this day would come when you decided to name her Cookie.
@matt w:
However, i can certainly complain that Dagwood has somehow got his face and right leg parallel to the fridge he’s supposed to be thumping.
The artist was told to not place Dagwood’s legs in any possible position that would imply he’s humping the fridge which in Dag’s case is always a natural assumption.
Blondie:
Although Cookie’s reference to “turducken” is intended to portray her as “hip” and au courant, the melange of turkey, duck and chicken that is the turducken actually goes back to cookbooks as early as 1913. The late John Madden, of course, elevated the turducken to cult status, having devoured the first of many on-air on December 1, 1996.
Blondie: Dagwood has entered the food version of Pon Farr at being reminded Thanksgiving is coming, and his animalistic eating drive is leading him to desperately smash the fridge apart to get at the turducken inside. True, it’s still raw, but if you think that makes a difference, you don’t know Dagwood Bumstead.
JP – No…the standard Norwegian guy move is to listen to death metal to cheer themselves up….
Blondie – Hey! A topless mother-daughter turducken prep ought to get the clicks….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
BLONDIE: Dagwood’s apoplexy is due to the fact that Cookie vlogs topless. There’s a reason it’s called “Cookies’ Cookies.”
MW: Oh, great, now I feel compelled to run through a list of everyone I know, and determine whether or not they’re the type to have a pet bird.
JP: Ah, there’s that classic Scandinavian humor “Ha ha, yes: there are many stereotypes about national character, most of which are true! Do you know how to get a one-armed Norwegian out of a tree? Ask him politely — we are an amenable people who respond well to authority!”
Blondie: So, is Cookie making Mukbang videos? It would explain Dagwood’s reaction channeling his inner George C Scott.
Pluggers: “I was born in 1940 — now, that was a good year. Sure, the Nazis invaded Belgium and the Netherlands, bombed England, and occupied France, but also Disney released Fantasia and the Bears won the NFL championship. So, a pretty good year. Okay, forget I said anything.”
Pluggers: Wrongo! Pluggers are NOT vintage. They’re antiquated.
Sally Forth: I love this week! Having the mother’s sketchy friends around always perks up the strip.
Blondie: I’m unsure which leg is Dagwood’s left. If the left is indeed his left, was his tantrum so violent that he dislocated his knee jutting 90° left and smashed his foot with the sole turned up?
Blondie Dagwood isn’t horrified that his daughter is upstaging his food schtick, he’s cursing that he didn’t think of it early enough to actually buy one this year
BB Just… just be glad Sarge doesn’t carry a weapon, folks. “Soldier can’t tell reality from fiction in a crowd” could have gone really dark
MW:
“Toby, show off for Ms. Worth here by singing a Beatles adaptation about your Norwegian Blue cousin!”
“I once had a bird
Or should I say, it once had me
He showed me his plume
Is it absurd? — Norwegian bird
He asked me to stay
And he asked, could he flit anywhere?
So I looked around and I noticed
I hadn’t a prayer
I sat in a fog, taking my time,
Hearing him whine
We squawked until two, and then he said:
“It’s time for dread”
He told me he smirked in the morning and started to laugh
I told him I didn’t
And crawled off to cheep in my wrath
And, when I awoke, I was alone
This bird had flown
So, I bit a tire
Is it absurd? — Norwegian bird”
Blondie: Unlike other commenters, I think Daggy’s beating up the fridge because Blondie put a time lock on it. He’s not getting at that turducken until dinnertime tonight, damnit!
RMMD: [deep breath] WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT WHETHER AUGIE DING DONG DOGGY STYLE “STEPPED IN IT” YOU BLITHERING SHLUB OF A COMIC?????
JP: So, no one’s going to ask why this guest is dressed in all black? Is he related to ‘Nil’ from Luann and is about to regale Sophie with some ‘life is meaningless’ shtick that will leave her even more depressed and mopey than before? Is he indeed Ces’ attempt at updating Cary Grant in ‘To Catch a Thief’? He’s going to be really upset when he discovers these two ‘rich Americans’ barely have two Euros to rub together.
MW: Has anyone considered the possibility that Moy herself just got a new parrot herself and wants the whole world* to know it?
S4th: Well, that escalated quickly. WTF, Ted’s Mom?
*Consisting of just us ‘Mudges of course.
@Baja Gaijin:
One of them should have been Bozo the Clown
Wary Morth:
“You look very happy and fulfilled! How dare you!” (Meddle begins) “Did you know that parrots can be full of diseases? Diseases than can make you look ugly and old?”
“Why, Mary, I didn’t know you had a parrot, too!”
@Baja Gaijin:
Oh, the Park Pusher. Anything that causes Mary any kind of pain or inconvenience has my immediate approval.
Today’s Blondie gives Baja Gaijin the perfect excuse to post a cthucken picture for tonight’s cuisine. It would be a nice change of pace to have a dish that was meant to horrify.
Wrecks Moregone:
Auuuuughie, are you *really* stupid enough to believe that if you give in on the book that’s the end of the matter?
@Baja Gaijin: Ah, such fond memories… I’ll have to go with number 1, since Mary’s joined the growing list of characters who haven’t questioned whether the bird might be a lost pet. Maybe Ian will end up being the one who breaks Toby’s heart.
My version of today’s Crankshaft. I think my punchline is a lot better.
Blondie: The man literally has a real life sandwich named after him, one that’s known for containing a variety of meats. The turducken is the Dagwood Sandwich of Thanksgiving turkeys.
The idea of a turducken is so shocking to Dagwood’s brain that he can’t open the refrigerator anymore; he’s just got to have it!
@24 Bomb Lice: I wanted to show the bird laughing at images that Mary and Toby wouldn’t think are funny, not EVILCARYCLOWNS. Huh, I guess that fits my definition. Still, no.
@26 Ukranazi Stepan: It’s the first one that popped into my head. It’s a classic.
@27 Ken: I don’t think I have any turducken recipes though I’m pretty sure I can dig up one that covers the first four letters of the name.
@30 Banana Jr. 6000: Agreed.
That is one weird series of movements Dagwood is doing there, with his foot stomping perpendicular to his flailing fists. But can he pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time?
@Baja Gaijin: That’s cthucken, three great foods that don’t go great together.
JP: “I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache …” RIP Jimmy Buffett
@Baja Gaijin: Any images depicting tormented Mary Worth characters is okay by me.
JP: “No, a Norwegian lie would be ‘The Swedes are smart people.They’re actually quite dumb.'”
@35 Ken: I have no idea what that is, nor do I think I want to.
@37 Lord Flatulence: I figured that’d be a popular image.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I approve.
MW:
“Toby, has he offered you any hints on where he might have been headed at the time that you encountered him?”
“Oh, yes. He told me that his purpose had been to visit some TV show producers to try to convince them that the old ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ TV show should be repurposed as a daily newspaper offering!”
No. Don’t say it, Toby.”
“Yep. A ‘Comic Ozzie’ mission !”
Blondie – “…You should probably run it by your dad first.” “I will, as soon as he’s done having angry sex with the fridge.”
JP: Is that one of Norton’s diamonds in Emil’s ear? Just trying to tie the last ten years of stories together.
Don Abundio, translated:
“My report is ready”
“Good!”
“O wise consultant, how can I make my business a greater success?”
“There is only one way, Don Abundio”
“You need to hire more consultants!”
RMMD: It’s about power. The stalker tried to control Summer Knight. Now Augie appeared to try to use and control her. But Summer fought back, showing she’s no pawn but can move in any direction.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s a turkey stuffed with an octopus lying on a big crab to approximate Lovecraft’s cthulu… I imagine they have to be cooked separately to get anything remotely edible, due to cooking types/times
Blondie: If anything, Dagwood is angry that his daughter is touting such a basic example of culinary excess. He knows that Grimod de la Reynière’s rôti sans pareil is the epitome of engastration.
JP: Sophie not getting out of the house is an excellent cover for Marciulliano’s research into Norway consisting entirely of looking up tips for business travelers online. Next Emil will need to explain to Sophie that he’s not standing apart from her because she smells, but because it’s polite in Norway to respect personal space.
C’shaft: “Jeez, sorry I expressed empathy and concern for your child, asshole.”
Dustin: “Anyway, we’d better get out of here before the heater exhaust overwhelms us. You remembered to disconnect the CO alarm, right?”
GT: “I’m so much over her that I started dating someone with almost the exact same physical characteristics.”
Luann: Pet grooming is, I am sure, a very particular skill requiring knowledge of appropriate products, technique, and safety, but of course Tiffany is a natural at it because ha-ha, girly-girl who likes makeup and stuff.
MW: Toby feelings happy and fulfilled? Mary can’t have that–what would become of her meddling? Sunny better watch his step.
RMMD: The situation says “careless disregard for other people’s feelings” but Augie’s facial expression says “sad trombone cue.”
MW-“Toby, you do know that Ian only went to a ‘conference’. He didn’t divorce you. He will be coming back.”
FC-“Out darn spot.”
MW-Without some sort of romantic partner in their lives these people fall apart easily. It’s not like Ian has divorced Toby he will be returning.
How is nobody in Judge Parker freaking out that Dexys Midnight Runners from their lesser known song “Geno” is in their house in 2025? Their GenX British parents would be having a conniption right about now.
***
They’re bringing back Vine and Cookie is using it to make her father do violence to appliances and cause the rest of us question if a single sentence could be considered a vlog.
I have to hand it to Judge Parker, everybody but Brunette Man, the Facial Hair Norwegian, is giving serious mannequin vibes. Look at those awkward poses! Even their faces are posed, like lifeless plastic.
Thanks for keeping the soap opera strip and its traditions alive, JP!
MT- Th-th-th-th-th-th- that’s all folks!
Pluggers: Should they be so specific with the actual vintage? The audience for this strip wants knowing nods about no longer being young, not blatant blasts about being superannuated.
FC: Thel plugs the drain, cranks open the faucet, and something snaps inside her. “What about that Jeffy? Is it loud enough for you now?”
Blondie: Bookmark her vlog, because in November 2027 Cookie will introduce us all to the latest craze, Dubai chocolate!
Lockhorns: Leroy, when Loretta gets the idea that you both can Zoom with her mom at any hour of any day, you’ll regret saying this.
DtM: Dennis, every minute you’re there Mr. Wilson wishes he had a hangover.
H&L: What’s Chip’s next move, doing the “caring big brother thing” (which young women do admire), or pretending Trixie is his real child (‘proving’ that he’s actually copulated at least once)?
Luann: Give Tiffany a little credit, Dez.