Josh asks: How DARE you
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Blondie, 11/23/25
Two very important details here. One, Dagwood has his handkerchief out and at the ready when he knocks on Herb’s door. He’s already on the verge of tears and knows he won’t be able to hold back once this conversation starts — the conversation that he thinks will be among the last with his best friend while they’re still neighbors, before they inevitably begin to drift apart. The second is that Herb clearly put Tootsie up to relay the strategically redacted information about his career prospects to Blondie precisely in order to set up this scenario, and to exploit his friend’s soft heart. Never have I felt more tenderly towards Dagwood, or more harshly towards Herb!
Mary Worth, 11/23/25
Oh no! Toby’s beloved friend Sunny had a backstory, and that backstory is that he was illegally trafficked into California! I guess Toby and Sunny are about to go on an Incredible Journey-style journey to find Sunny’s real home, in the compound of the Mexican parrot smuggling gang where he was born. Will they still accept him, now that he laughs like Ross from Friends all the time?
Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/23/25
On one level of conceptual reality, R2-D2 is a droid living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, and on another level R2-D2 is Kenny Baker and a series of other actors inside a mechanical prop in various movies and TV shows put out by Lucasfilm. Or, in Mother Goose and Grimm, R2-D2 is an actor who had a movie career, presumably playing R2-D2 the character in the Star Wars movies? I don’t find this mix of narrative planes very coherent, to be quite honest, and I don’t think it’s funny to make R2-D2 into a coffee machine either. He helped blow up the Death Star! Show some respect.
173 replies to “Josh asks: How DARE you”
Mary Worth Mashup: With newly-added final panels!
Snuffy Smith Mashups: Am I supposed to know who that homunculus is in the final panel? How about a few more recognizable turkeys?
MW:
“Er…no thanks, dear! I yam not hungry right this instant.”
Wary Morth:
“So Sunny is an illegal immigrant. I’m calling ICE. Say bye to your baby, Toby. Ha ha ha!”
_________________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
Hello, As Much Boredom As The Readers Are Saddled With!
MW:
Alfred E. Neuman said what Narendra Modi said — but a lot more succinctly — when he intoned: “What? Me worry?”
Wary Morth 2:
Mockers and Mockerettes, *at last* we have the magic ingredient to ward off the Mary! Sweet potato, the holy water to the meddlevampire!
@Bob Tice:
As an Indian I’m pretty sure Modi, whose entire regime is based on falsifying the past, never said such a thing.
(Sorry for the political outburst.)
@Baja Gaijin:
Mary Worth: your link gives me this:
about:blank#blocked
Barney Smif: Weelburman, of course.
MW-Way to be a buzzkill, Mary. Toby lost her husband to an education conference don’t make her lose Sunny too.
Slylock Fox-Slylock has the neighbors reporting and spying on each other.
FC-Here is a picture of Grandma at Woodstock.
FC-Here’s a picture of Grandma burning her bra. You’ll notice that it’s a small fire.
Mary was like “I need to mix spiritual banalities and modern cliches to make my brutal reactionary and heteronormative views I impose on others more acceptable” and she found a kindred spirit not in the usual white bore, but in a leader of the Global South and non-Christian religion, Modi! Diversity wins!
MW: Mary makes that face because Toby’s potato steamer was manufactured in Cleveland. ::URP!::
@Liam: Stasi Fox
“Mother Goose and Grimm” was like “Starbucks baristas are cool and nice, but what if the hot beverages they served us CAME OUT OF THEIR BODIES”
@Anonymous: that’s me
Blondie: I’m not one to use a hanky, but are the usually that big? Dag can cover his whole face with lots of fabric to spare. I suppose when you consume that amount of mustard and pickles daily you produce a lot of phlegm.
MW: Interesting choice of quote in the throwaway panel. I’m assuming this is about Toby not carrying the burden of the past (i.e. the horrible conditions her bird escaped from) or worrying about the madness of the future (Ian absolutely losing it when he comes back to an apartment strewn with sunflower shells and bird shit)
MMG: Imagine someone offered you a job to piss in people’s coffee every day. It’d probably be funny for a few days, then it would just get old. Poor Artoo…
Blondie: The artist has gone to a lot of trouble today, three panels worth, to point out that Herb hangs left. I’m Not sure how Herb going commando adds to the story.
MW:
[Narrator on TV]: “All nontrivial zeros of the zeta function lie on a specific vertical line in the complex plane!”
[Guy on TV]: “Ha ha ha!”
[Sunny]: “Ha ha ha!”
[Toby]: “Oh, those two wags! — poking fun at the Riemann hypothesis again!”
@ 7 Ukranazi Stepan: Thanks. Let me try again.
Mary Worth Mashups: With Changed Final Panels and a working link!
Mary Worth: Sunny is laughing because he caused the truck crash to get rid of his fellow parrots, who were squealing to the American authorities. And now he knows he’s gotten away with it. “Ha-ha-ha, my comrades from Tren de Agua will soon come and bring me back home, and I’m afraid the ladies who helped me will be collateral damage. But thanks for the muffins, suckers!”
Mother Goose and Grimm: The clankers are taking our jobs! (Is what comic writers and artists are saying, as their syndicates increasingly look to AI platforms as a cheaper way of creating a couple squares of drawings and a half-funny punchline every day.)
Mark Trail: Gosh, Mark, you’re a little late with the lesson on pumpkins. Sure, you want to be all positive and talk about the upcoming holiday when they’ll be made into delicious pies — but just three weeks ago they were horrid grinning abominations with candles in their skulls. Yin and yang, light and dark, good and evil — that’s what nature is all about, Mark Trail!
MW: Just when investors wondered if it would survive, the Ha-Ha streaming network finds its target audience.
Blondie:
“I’d like to run him over with that lawn mower and then have a leisurely lunch on his writhing torso. No. Don’t say it, self. Yep. ‘Dejeuner sur Herb.’ “
MW: Shouldn’t the vet have gotten a BOLO for hot parrots? Seems like something vets would know about.
H&L: Again, I call B.S. on this strip. If kids aren’t yelling, “M-o-o-o-o-m!” every five minutes, it’s because they’re building a bomb in the basement.
BLONDIE: Since when does Herb have a conscience? He usually just brazenly admits that he’s stolen/destroyed Dagwood’s stuff.
“I will not accept any happiness in this condo community unless I am directly the cause and intimately involved. Expect to see ICE here soon, Toby, to haul your precious illegal immigrant parrot off in handcuffs….er…clawcuffs….oh, you know what I mean.”
Mother Goose and Grimm:
In the meantime, his Star Wars robot companion turned to television and garnered the leading role in a reprise of the 1976-78 Don Rickles naval comedy, a sequel called C-3PO Sharkey.
MG&G: If that coffee spout was about six inches lower, the tragedy wouldn’t be that former movie star R2D2 turned to retail, it would be that he turned to sex work.
MG&G: If that coffee spout was about six inches lower, the tragedy wouldn’t be that former movie star R2D2 turned to retail, it would be that he turned to sex work.
FC: Grandma can’t even perform the sacred act of Seppuku in private without these brats interrupting.
RMMD: Augie agonizes for weeks over whether to publish and lose Summer or not publish and lose the money. After their monthlong break, he finally sees Summer who has binge eaten her way up three dress sizes. “Well,” he says. “Sometimes these problems take care of themselves.”
Blondie’s first panel seemed to show Dagwood trying to score some weed, but it turned out to be much less interesting.
Blondie: “My best friend is leaving!” As he’s your only friend, you’re technically correct.
H&L: Who says a legacy strip can’t be up to date? Hi’s grape-juice-in-a-wine-glass is the latest trend in $15 mocktails.
MW: Mary’s turning up her nose at steamed sweet potatos? With what she serves to her guests?
@Ukranazi Stepan: No, this quote is confirmed. Modi said it in an interview with Amol Sharma in the Wall Street Journal in 2012, which is reprinted in some books that are too gross to link. He was dodging a question about whether he would run for prime minister.
Anyway, joins John C. Calhoun and Robert E. Lee in the Sunday Mary Worth quote anti-pantheon, and I’m not sure it’s better that this one is accurate.
that is, accurately attributed
@Hibbleton: Why did you notice that. Why did I confirm that. Truly, we live in a hell of our own making.
Possibly my favorite “hot take” or alternative view is the idea that R2– not Luke– is the true hero of Star Wars. (At least the first film; it gets harder to justify as the series goes on.)
Basically– and I’m actually mostly serious here– more of the major plot events are moved along in a positive fashion by the plucky astromech, not the farm boy. Leia trusts R2 with the plans. R2 cons Luke into removing the restraining bolt and then sets the off alone (at night) to find Obi-Wan.
And so on. Luke’s the protagonist– or at least a protagonist– and fires the 1 in a million shot to destroy the Death Star (and there’s that Hero’s Journey business)– but R2 is IMO more important, plotwise.
(I mention this whenever I get the opportunity because I never actually see it “in the wild” so it’s possible that I actually came up with it instead of reading it somewhere and latching on to it.)
The MGaG comic also reminds me of the “joke” that Luke may’ve been the hero and Han the sidekick, but Harrison Ford had a better agent than Mark Hammill.
Sunday is here and so is JUNGLE JIM!
It sure makes your feet hurt burying three people.
@Hibbleton: They’re just singing along to Chief Keef’s “Laughin’ to the Bank,” which Mary plays on loop.
Well, Mary will be of some use consoling Toby when they Euthanize Sunny to prevent the spread of bird flu
MG&G: Stephen Colbert does that joke better in his “Cyborgasm” segment.
Please stay for lunch, Mary. I just bought a huge bag of quality pellets.
Blondie: In Panel One, Dagwood channels his inner Sheldon.
Y’know, Dag — that handkerchief can also be used to wipe off fingerprints from around someone’s throat. Just sayin’.
MARRIED WURST: Modi wrote the first draft of the Hallmark platitude “the past is history, the future’s a mystery, this day is the best day; that’s why it’s called the present’.” I’m actually a bit surprised Moy didn’t use Hallmark’s version.
Blondie – I wonder if Herb thought that Sheldon Cooper was at the door.
@Charles Solution: Now I’m gonna have to go rewatch Kurosawa’s “The Hidden Fortress” to see if the short Samurai was the real hero of that movie.
KRANKSHAT: The final panel, in which Ed asks Pmm “What was that?” and she answers “Nothing” might just be the most perfect summary of Batiuk’s career ever written.
H&L I want to know which Bizarro-world flavour Hi and Lois live in – one where there are “double feature” operas or classical concerts, or where people dress up more to catch a movie than they would for Easter church.
RMMD speaking of Bizarro worlds, I’m not sure what’s more out of touch – the Worthiverse’s “local advice columnist can afford a California condo *and* take months-long vacations” or the Morganverse’s “one mystery manuscript = riches beyond your wildest dreams”. There isn’t that much money until or unless you’re the next Tom Clancy!
Here’s a picture of Grandma pulling a train.
@Ukranazi Stepan: That may be, but I think it’s just “anything that Toby cooks.” I mean, Ian subsists on frozen fish sticks so much that he has become the Gorton’s Fisherman – you are what you eat!
Mary Worth: Sonny has spent the last two weeks trying to keep Toby from seeing the major-for-Santa Royale story about the exotic wildlife on the loose in the news. Hence the steady diet of sitcoms and soap operas. If he stops laughing, the game is up.
@Ukranazi Stepan: That’s a quote that says “History?!?! I don’t need no steenkin’ History!”
Dr. Ed will be thrilled. “Parrot” has been the holy grail he’s been seeking to complete his bingo card.
“Dagwood, the Thanksgiving turkey tastes . . . well, gamey this year. Did you change something?”
“I stuffed it with chopped Herb.”
MW: Mary Worth, casually chatting with her neighbour, a pleasant smile on her lips, not a care in the world: “Most birds died…”
MG&G: I like this glimpse into an alternative universe where Starbucks has a much cleaner, simpler menu. You can have a frothy coffee, a frothy coffee with chocolate, or a frothy coffee with spices. If that’s all too exotic for you, try your luck with a “café”. Who knows what you’ll get!
Blondie – Yeah – like Herb would ever move and loose that sweet back door Blondie action….
MW – The shitty present….
MG&G – Now my coffee tastes like WD-40….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MG&G: I can see you’re serving drinks, but this place is dangerous!
@Charles Solution: Hero’s journey? You mean like when an unassuming Astromech droid receives a quest from a princess, wanders lost with no one for company but a sanctimonious twit, journeys through the underworld of Jawa droid trafficking, finds the McGuffin (Obi Wan) returns to the princess and then, with his own death-and-resurrection cycle keeps the farm boy alive long enough to make that one in a million shot? And he does it all without so much as a single midichlorian in his oil pan!
MW: Mary has no problem with telepathic dogs, but talking birds make her uncomfortable.
@Charles Solution: The MGaG comic also reminds me of the “joke” that Luke may’ve been the hero and Han the sidekick, but Harrison Ford had a better agent than Mark Hammill.
More the case that Harrison Ford could always act while a young Mark Hamill could not.
(Hamill got better by the time he played the Joker, though)
@Baja Gaijin: Thank you for the reminder that our little misantropic sociopath Sophie, currently being browbeaten into mingling with who I am certain are some of the nicest people on the planet, should be in either a jail cell or rubber room for her criminal assault of a suspect in an ongoing police operation.
MW: Well, how convenient! No previous owner to cause emotional conflict, and it’s not like the police are going to dust the bird for finger prints. We really are going with ‘Finders Keepers’ here?
Does anyone else think Moy and Brigman came up with this literally the day after they submitted the strip with Dr. Mr. Ed?
RMMD: Blondie, you were saying ‘Hello’ to all this before because Augie would rather ‘grade papers’ than go to bed with you, remember?
Mother Goose and Grimm: Starbucks workers are currently on strike. Today’s cartoon should’ve been pulled for a rerun, the way they’d stop a hilarious “opening fire on a crowd” gag in the unlikely event there was a mass shooting that week.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Well he is already red.
Blondie-If only there was a place to get a new mower blade.
FC-Nothing but junk in Grandma’s trunk.
MW — Will they still accept him, now that he laughs like Ross from Friends all the time?
No. The answer is no.
Also, Moy probably believes that a using quote from Modi is the equivalent of posting one from Gandhi
Blondie: Let me get this straight. So … Herb borrowed Dagwood’s lawn mower and thoughtlessly broke it? Which means Dagwood is the Flanders in this relationship and not the Homer? I have clearly misjudged these characters.
MW: Mary Worth’s heart is a dark place indeed. She sees that her sweet, simpleminded friend Toby is experiencing some joy from bonding with a pet parrot and she’s like, “This ends now.” And her cruel plan works perfectly, as you can see from Toby’s shocked reaction in panel four and Mary’s quiet but unmistakable delight in panel five.
MG&G: Artoo is able to maintain at least a little of his dignity, since the female customer approaches him with reverence, as one might approach an altar or shrine. Or perhaps she sees how sexual this all is and casts her eyes downward in embarrassment.
MW – So Chandler is how Karen Moy envisions the devil? Because they’re clearly supposed to be watching Devo’s Peek-a-boo video.
@58 The Quiet Man: I wondered if anyone’d recognize the blonde. I changed her hair color, lip color, eye color, and added Toby’s 80’s plastic hoop earring to match Toby in today’s strip.
@64 Joe Blevins: on Blondie: In the past, Daggy’s broken a lot of the tools he borrowed from Herb.
Mary Worth: So Sunny is part of an invasive species. I presume this means animal control are about to raid the apartment complex and assassinate him.
Mother Goose And Grimm: This becomes way more horrifying yet hilarious if you imagine it’s Kenny Baker in a suit somehow lactating coffee.
MW in three weeks: “Secretary Noem! We’re encountering resistance in bringing in the Mexican bird! They’re throwing muffins at us! Argghhh!!!”
“Don’t stop now Bovino. Don’t let them get from the Bum Boat to the yacht!!!”
@Baja Gaijin: Last panel of the final mashup should have had a “ha ha ha!” coming from the background :)
MW: Santa Barbara does have the occasional flock of feral parrots making their noisy rounds, but haven’t seen them lately, perhaps due to more brilliant work from our friends over at ICE & CBP.
@Baja Gaijin: Definitely the last one – the justifiable attack we’ve all been waiting for!
@Baja Gaijin: Definitely the last one – the justifiable attack we’ve all been waiting for!
Blondie: Herb broke the mower in May; it’s taken him half a year to set this up, gently laying hints about job searches, pointedly scanning Zillow on his phone while in Dagwood’s presence, asking about interstate moving companies on Nextdoor…It’s been a lot of work, but it was worth it to avoid a $200 repair bill.
MW: I did a double take at today’s throwaway panel, then I did a quick Google search because I couldn’t quite believe even Karen Moy was tone-deaf enough to source quotes from that Modi. But, as ever, she surprises me. I look forward to future Sunday strips giving us heartwarming philosophies on life and love from Viktor Orban, Vladimir Putin and Mohammed bin Salman.
DT: I suppose this new character (is it a new one) is the huggy-bear to the DT universe. Notice DT has some tradecraft. When meeting his snitch he does NOT wear his eye catching bright yellow trench coat. But he and his new bud Deputy Dawg have some classic close military/police hair cuts that they scream “The Man”. So Rojo Ozob is figuratively and literally a mechanic?
JP: Amazing how fast one yearns for the Charlotte barn story line. The story line handicap is so far: (1) young people angst at finding friends, loves and relationship, (2) Charlotte – isolated kid keeping a stiff upper lip, (3) Some weird post-cold war spy / thriller angle, (4) and oh yeah, some legal stuff seeing how it is call “Judge” Parker.
MW: The creators might want to check out Joe Sacco’s latest graphic novel: The Once and Future Riot.
Crank: Hey, remember back in 2019, when Crankshaft did the same joke, only competently?
DT: So, yesterday Deputy Dawg said that he arrived in Neo-Chicago because he was on the trail of Ozob’s henchmen. Today, they hit up one of Dick’s stool pigeons for information and learn … that Ozob’s henchmen are in Neo-Chicago.
Curtis, if I wanted to read about Tracy very slowly learning things he already knows, I’d read a Costello story.
JP: But Reena, she’s already spoken to Axel and Emil, and all the others are clearly background extras! It’s a whole new contract if one of them gets a speaking role, plus Ces will have to think of another Norwegian name!
MW: Oh, boy, I’m looking forward to Toby justifying completely ignoring this information. “Obviously, it’s wrong to smuggle exotic birds into the country. And it’s wrong to buy exotic birds from smugglers. But I didn’t do either of those things! It’s not actually my fault Sunny is in the US, so surely it can’t be wrong to just keep him!”
Pluggers: Pluggers can’t quite kid themselves enough to use the “it’s the only way I can get intelligent conversation” line.
S4th: Sadly, Bettina falls asleep during Hil’s disclaimer about how all characters must be imagined as visually distinct from any copyrighted properties of Paramount Pictures.
SFx: Okay, but presumably Rachel, who saw Wanda driving the wrong way and took the photo, also knew this was what had happened? So she could have just told Slylock?
@Bono Vix: Yeah, Hamill’s onscreen acting was never much to write home about (check out The Guyver sometime, or better yet don’t), but he really found his metier in VO work. And I always appreciate a guy willing to have a laugh at his own expense (see his work on The Simpsons and Robot Chicken).
MW – Damn it, Mary! An illegal shipment of amazon parrots was involved in a vehicle crash. The subject is “shipment,” singular. “Of Amazon parrots” is just a modifier. You wouldn’t catch Narendra Modi making a mistake like that!
(Just to clarify, these are not parrots from the Amazon basin; they’re parrots that were going to be illegally sold on Amazon.)
MG&G – “Have you ever noticed that Starbucks coffee has a weird metallic flavor?” “Yeah. It tastes like robot piss.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Yes, Don Abundio?”
“I have to send a letter by air mail”
“You want me to prepare it for mailing?”
“Never mind”
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: Thank you for that. I was thinking the same thing and am happy that it was also on the mind of one of our distinguished colleagues.
DT: I like Monkey Man. He’s NEW!
Although at first glance I thought they were all enjoying a sociable game of cards. “Damn! Looks like I’m the Old Maid again!”
@Baja Gaijin: all of them!
Mary, we’ve seen the colourless mush you serve other people and call “food”. You really have some nerve acting like that over some steamed sweet potatoes. May I direct your attention to the grey muffins you showed with just two days ago!
***
R2-D2 is from a place where most robots are built to communicate in beeps and boops even though a very few are capable of humanoid speech, mostly likely to limit their career options despite being apparently self-aware and having emotions. They are also built to feel pain, because that galaxy far, far away is a monstrous place. If he made his way across the vast emptiness between galaxies over countless centuries, he’s probably just happy to have a job where he has companionship and nobody trying to torture him to get the rebels’ plans. He’s just being smart and laying low because once the government of whatever nation he’s landed in (it’s a Starbucks, so it could be literally anywhere on Earth) finds out about him, they will tear him apart to get this new to us technology.
Brew away, little buddy, Brew away.
***
Today’s Blondie is one of those strips that isn’t ha ha funny, but I still enjoyed it. Well done, team.
***
I actually like steamed vegetables, it’s usually my favourite way to prepare them. Of course a plate of steamed sweet potatoes by themselves for lunch would be… less than ideal, let’s say, so Mary’s reaction makes me think that she expects Toby to serve just that for the meal. Now I want to see previous lunches Toby has prepared.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – I know it’s too much to expect realism in the funnies, but no way is Augie Doggie Style going to make a buttload of money even if he does proceed with his Autumn Ross series. He’s a douchebag.
C’shaft: Notice how Pam only gives a crap when Crankshaft is exploding grills or fireplaces–things that could cause harm to property or bystanders–but is indifferent when her dad is only risking injury to himself. I think we can all agree this behavior is entirely reasonable.
DT: I’m instantly fascinated by Bogart. Is he a beatnik? A vagrant? An advance scout for the Planet of the Apes? Whoever he is, his drug culture allusion of a handle indicates that he’s a thousand times more interesting than the square cops coming to him for information.
JP: Oh yeah, Reena, that’s a great way to start small talk. “My family has been repeatedly hunted by black market arms dealers! Also I was kidnapped and held hostage for several weeks, but that was an entirely separate issue. So, what do you do for fun?”
RMMD: I know! One of the publishers comes back with “Hey, we really love your story, but we think it could use some punching up. Can you change it to a sci-fi adventure-romance and also completely rework the main character?” Executive Meddling saves the day!
Blondie: Shear pins which prevent a blade from breaking and creating a deadly flying machete have been a standard feature on lawnmowers for over half a century. Herb is understandingly hesitant to tell Dagwood about breaking the probably impossible to find replacement blade on his “new” vintage, perhaps even steam powered, lawnmower.
Mother Goose & Grimm: Is the joke that R2-D2 kind of looks like an espresso machine/trash can/vacuum cleaner solid? We’ve seen it everywhere from Hardware Wars to, well, actual Star Wars trash cans, so it’s a bit careworn, but it’s serviceable.
I’m less sanguine about droids peeing into cups for human consumption, though, and I wish the Starbucks patron had enough dignity to not smile when she collects her robot piss.
@84 TheDiva: on Dick Tracy: I think he’s the gorilla from “The Banana Splits” TV show from the 70s. They share the same grin.
@TheDiva: I mean people have praised Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger.
But Mark Hamill wasn’t just the best portrayal of The Joker, he set the standards ever since.
R2-D2 makes a good coffee machine.
So, what does that make C3P-O?
The only thing that I can think of Sex-Bot, and that makes me sad.
@Threepio: A wretched hive of scum and villainy. . .
@Baja Gaijin: Okay, the last one.
I can’t read today’s Dick Tracy as my web-protector blocks any sites that start with the word Dick.
But there seems to be a huge influx of monkey people in the Tracy-verse.
That guy who ran the that one hobby store(?) and Art Dekko. Is there an entire race of ape people in the Dick Tracy universe and the creators just forgot to set it up as a plot point?
“Mary, by making me think about criminals and dead birds, you are ruining Friends rerun time. Again.”
MW: Moy really should have gone with René Descartes on today’s quote: “Cogito ergo spud.” “I think, therefore I yam.”
I have a few more quote suggestions for Mary Worth Sunday strips:
“Be kinder than necessary; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” –Alexander Lukashenko
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” –Bashar al-Assad
“Worry is like paying interest on a debt you don’t owe.” –Jair Bolsonaro
I believe it would be more relatable if they were watching “The Simpsons”
Nelson: Haw! Haw!
Or “Mark Trail: the Series”
Dr. Camel: HAAAW! HAAAW!
Dr. Camel would be played by Tim Curry.
MW: The actual drama in this story is going to come when Toby tries to return that opened 100-lb bag of QUALITY PELLETS she bought from I HEART PETS.
Luann: I’ve decided I hate Dez more than any other character in this strip– except for Bernice of course.
@Baja Gaijin: Snuffy Smith Mashups: Am I supposed to know who that homunculus is in the final panel? How about a few more recognizable turkeys?
That’s Barlow, Smif’s arch-nemesis.
@99 Lord Flatulence: Oh. I prefer Smif’s arch-nemesis to be almost-naked Dustdad. Shoot him, Snuffy, shoot him now!
@Baja Gaijin: I thought the original was too risqué and got blocked!
@101 Treetown: Something happened between the “cut” from one program and “paste” into the comment box. I guess.
@Liam:
Did Toby lose her husband to a week long teacher’s conference, or is he on a six month sabbatical instead?
That time line would make more sense. Why he didn’t bring her along if it was the latter makes less sense.
MW: Vehicle filled with birds crashing? Never put a better comic in your worse one.
@Horace Broon:
She knows what Slylock likes.
@Sequitur: “Say, Joan, this stuff is pretty good. What is it?”
“I told you. Grubs.”
@Bob Tice:
But Alfred E. Neumann wasn’t a nascent autocrat responsible for the deaths of religious minorities in his country.
@Baja Gaijin:
Okay, that makes more sense. I knew I hadn’t imagined years of Dagwood being a bad neighbor.
So let’s get down to it: is Blondie nude behind that logo or what? She looks like she is.
MW:
Mary: I saw on the news last week that an illegal shipment of Amazon parrots were in a vehicle crash…
Toby: Well, parrots aren’t known for their driving skills, Mary.
MG&G: If that coffee spout was about six inches lower, the tragedy wouldn’t be that former movie star R2D2 turned to retail, it would be that he turned to sex work.
@Joe Blevins: So let’s get down to it: is Blondie nude behind that logo or what? She looks like she is.
She’s always been nude behind her clothes so let’s just leave it at that.
@108 Joe Blevins: Years of being a bad neighbor? Try decades. D.e.c.a.d.e.s.
MW: Say what you will about this story, but what irks – IRKS!!! – me is the egregious grammatical error in the third panel. The singular noun (“shipment”) requires a singular verb (“was”). This is just unacceptable!
Plus, that’s the last time I’m going to order a parrot from Amazon!!
MW: Man, can you believe this? Just when we thought The Ladies were gonna let Sunny be “origin unknown” … they up and give him a #&^*(%@ backstory!! And associating with criminals at that! So just what is his status now? Invasive species? Evidence in a smuggling case? Undocumented foreign traveler? Any of those could get him picked up by The Authorities and outta the story!
But maybe we can still save this so Sunny can live with Toby and Ian as a Permanent Cast Member… His living conditions in Mexico at a Parrot mill had to be harsh and demeaning, yet he showed intelligence and initiative by being able to escape the crash scene! He already has a good command of English, is healthy, and interacts well with others! This is just the type of immigrant citizens we want! I’m sure once he seeks asylum he’ll be a shoo-in…
MW: A knock at the door. “You’se gots some of our property what’s belong to us. It’d be best for all concerned if you’se just hands it over to my associate what’s standing here.”
@Baja Gaijin: Ed Kudlik REALLY DOES look like a turkey
Great job. Baja!
@Charles Solution: As for me, the REAL hero of “Star Wars” is the pilot Jek Porkins.
MG&G: Ok, drips of robot snot in the coffee, I can see that, but – speaking as someone who has never been into a Starbucks – why are there two blue dildos on the counter? Is this something that Starbucks sell, along with the cakes and pastries?
MW: This storyline has the potential of being both ridiculous and dumb. However, I might be willing to forgive a lot if it’s takes place around 2008 or 2009 and either Hector Salamanca or Gus Fring make an appearance.
LUANN: Ysy! The cat in s back. It’s been so long I’ve forgotten his name, but even napping a cat imroves a story.
BoT: Eerie stories not limited to Halloween.
DOONESBURY: as a Boomer, I don’t know. These rules seem a given, but there are better ways?
GA: Vegetarian stuffed pumpkin. All the flavors you crave but none of the cruelty. (Tho I’m roasting a bird– but for Thanksgiving, she would never have been hatched.)
P.S. thanks for the cranberry relish recipe yesterday. You’re right, my sauce has way too much sugar
@matt w:
#30. If Modi neither learns from the past nor plans for the future, he’d have been run out of town decades ago. Ergo, he lies.
JP: Are we ever going to see the office where these two utenlandske arbeidere allegedly work? Are they the only ones working in that office? Are they ever even going to talk about where they work and what they do? Is this some kind of bizarre setup like in “The Red-Headed League” that involves the girls typing meaningless crap for a few hours a day as a cover for some kind of crime? Do I care? At all?
MW: The reason the truck filled with black market parrots crashed was that a rival gang paid Rojo Ozob to sabotage the brakes.
FC: Where did that attic come from? Hasn’t it been established that HTT Grandma lives in some kind of senior living apartment or condo complex similar to Charterstone?
FC: Here’s Grandma’s wanted poster from when she was in the Symbianese Liberation Army with that Hearst girl.
FC: Here’s from when Grandma lived at the Spahn Movie Ranch with that Manson guy.
MT: This is a well-drawn, well-presented, interesting strip, like most MT Sunday strips. The MT Sunday strips are islands of sanity in seas of madness.
GA: Here we see a terrified Slim about to be killed by a pair of large threatening turkeys, a wonderful prospect indeed. If only.
LUANN: Yay, the gray cat. I don’t remember his name, but he has the sense to stick with Les and not Gunther.
Late Thread Cuisine: Eggplant by any other name…
@Guillermo el chiclero: Here’s from when Grandma was hanging out making bombs with the Weather Underground in their Greenwich Village townhouse.
Guess Josh thinks R2 should have taken that job at McArnold’s™ as a garbage can.More dignified position in his view.
@UncleJeff: #118: I thought his name was Tono Porkins. But either way, back in 1977 when Star Wars came out I was one of those nerds who probably saw it about a dozen times in the theater. It wasn’t the same theater either. I saw in theaters in different cities and different states even. I saw it with audiences that ranged from college types to blue collar navvies, upper class to poor. During the scene where the rebel pilots were making sure all systems were go before taking off to go after the Death Star, they did a montage of their faces. Whenever Porkins face appeared there was always a titter of laughter coming from the audience.
I see Dagwood has adapted to the Sheldon Cooper™style of knocking. Knock three times,call out name three times,rinse and repeat.
@Poteet: #127: And after her stint with the Manson Gang, great-grandpa Keane had to spend a small fortune getting a cosmetic surgeon to remove that swastika carved in her forehead.
@130 GarrisonSkunk: Daggy knocks like Sheldon Cooper for the same reason: he doesn’t want to walk in on Herb and Blondie doing the nasty. In Sheldon’s case, he was a child and walked in on his father and not-mother in bed.
JP: What, a party in Norway and no aquavit?
Six Chex and a Cat Named Mr Ed In Search Of A Punchline: “It helps having hooves instead of human feet.”
@Where’s Rocky q, r, s, t, et cetera: Give me a break, dude. My fingers slipped ?
MW: Geeeez, Karen and June. I’ll bet you would never have casually killed off dozens of dogs or cats as a throwaway.
RMMD: The dumb story of the novel is turning out to be longer than the dumb story of the stalker. Is there going to be a trilogy finale that covers an endless dispute between Augie and Summer over which wedding photographer to use?
@Guillermo el chiclero: And later on, after a severe accidental blow to her head during her training in Libya, came the worst and most disturbing development in Grandma’s career — That Hairdo.
@Baja Gaijin:
I cheated and found the original recipe because I just had to know what the scary ass sauce was. Techina aka tahini. The presentation leaves much to be desired, but it made right (properly salted the eggplant so it’s not bitter) this should be delicious.
@Horace Broon: Re CRANKSHAFT, I note with interest that the ladder shown in your old linked strip looks safer than the ladder shown in today’s strip. Pam is getting impatient. Next year, she’ll hide all ladders and step stools and demand that Ed clean out the gutters from the seat of a giraffe unicycle.
@Poteet: #137: And in the other trunk are the 8mm stag reels that Grandma starred in.
Blondie: In the first panel (not including the banner) Dag seems to be auditioning for the lead part in The Big Bang Theory.
@Poteet:
#125. LUANN: Punk. My unconscious just brought up the cats name. She likes only Les, making him feel special. Ahh. A LTR.
@Guillermo el chiclero: According to Wookiepedia, his full name is Jek Tono Porkins. I think he’s even addressed as Jek on the movie, seconds before his explosive death. In a galaxy far far away, we needed more of him and less of Jar Jar Binks.
@126 Baja Gaijin:
I always like to check on the late Thread Cuisine because it really helps me appreciate my wife’s cooking.
Hmm. Interesting. Glazed beetles on top.
@139 Poteet:
If Pam got rid of all ladders and step stools, Ed would simply go to Beans End and order a cherry picker (yes, they have everything).
Ed would cause all kinds of havoc ramming into sides of buildings and bringing down phone lines and power cables.
However, I do like your idea of a giraffe unicycle.
@138 Anonymous: That purply strip atop the sauce isn’t the visual plus the food designer thought it was.
@144 Sequitur: This is another recipe that’s probably quite tasty; the presentation, though, isn’t good.
Luann Spanish to English.
@Activist: Yeah, in Dragon Quest V I get a cat companion named Punk. Although his canon name keeps jumping back and forth between Punk, Saber and Purrsy.
Also by “cat” I mean, a freaking Smilodon!
MW: Okay, so I couldn’t identify Joey yesterday. June Brigman draws the Friends pretty well, but Moy seems to think they just stood around going “Ha ha ha!” No, that was just when the actors were on strike.
MG&G: I don’t know if Artoo is dispensing cream into coffee or whipped cream into a latte, the latter of which I’ve never seen them allow the customers to do themselves. In any event, it’s all just a little too hand jobby for my comfort.
9CL: No idea who this is—it’s the wrong haircut for Edda or the twins—but she seems to have just saved herself from a crippling dive into the shallow end.
C-Shaft: In truth, Ed Crankshaft’s middle name is “Ed.” He doesn’t generally use his actual first name, “That Asshole”, but some others do.
DT: A missing link named Bogart who hangs out at a bar named after a Roger Corman movie, wears fingerless gloves, drinks black-and-tans, and might be smoking a joint right in front of the cops? Why does one of Dick’s informants get to monopolize all of the gimmicks?
Dustin: In the suburbs there won’t be anyone enterprising enough to jump in and drive it away while Dustdad isn’t looking, alas.
JP: Reena is friends with Destruction of the Endless and she never brought it up before?
RMMD: No, Summer, no! It’s dry January! You can be trendy and still drink in November. But the pecans violate No Nut November, unless I’m misunderstanding things again.
S4th: If Bettina is convinced turkeys can fly this Star Trek fix will quickly turn into a crossover with WKRP in Cincinnati.
Ziggy: Bad luck about getting beached when there’s no one else around but a sickly hairless gnome, Mr. Whale. Hope your affairs are in order.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Farm turkeys generally can’t fly because they are bred to be so large. Wild turkeys can and do fly. Neither farm nor wild turkeys are going to fair well in the down wash of a helicopter. Oh the humanity.
@Anonymous: I know, I know. Turkeys in the wild are actually quite good fliers. Sometimes it’s necessary to sacrifice a fact here and there for the sake of the joke.
@Rover Berkeley: There are fan-made videos of Jek Porkins being the actual guy that destroyed the Death Star.
There are a lot more of Porkins dying — over and over.
One I’ve seen shows Porkins unable to operate his guns because he was busy eating a burger.
9
(The actor who played Porkins died this year. He appeared at many fan fests and embraced his notoriety)
@Baja Gaijin: The last one with Mary getting smashed wirh muffins flying, that’s quality work!
Sorry.
William Hootkins (Porkins) died in 2005.
Hey@UncleJeff:
Hey, you were within…two decades.
@Where’s Rocky?: Give me a break, dude. My fingers slipped ?
It was funny the first two times. What happened to comedy’s Rule of Three?
@UncleJeff: #155: Hootkins did a lot of cartoon voice over work. When George Lucas told him his character would be named Porkins he was at first afraid he’d be playing some kind of alien man-pig and have to wear a prosthetic pig snout.
@UncleJeff: Hootkins/Porkins?
I’m going to have very strange dreams tonight.
@UncleJeff: #153: The Family Guy spoof of Star Wars had Porkins barely able to get his x-fighter off the ground because he was so fat.
MG&G draws and names the literal R2D2
Disney’s Lawyers “……..”
@Guillermo el chiclero:
My impression was that she was visiting the Keane Kompound. Thel is just waiting for the kids to get out of the attic so she can pull a “Cask of Amontillado”, although maybe sacrificing a melonhead is just the cost of doing business.
@Baja Gaijin: Well worth waiting for. I am stunned with admiration by #3. I suppose I should perhaps worry a little that a scene of such graphic muffin-intensive violence inspires a reaction of deep wonder and awe. But naaaah. You’ve outdone yourself! *sweeping bow with deep doff of hat*
@Guillermo el chiclero: Yes!!! While wearing That Hairdo!!!
If you and I continue this much longer, I fear brain damage.
@Sequitur: Of course you are absolutely right. [envisions Ed being dramatically, instantly, totally, and almost-painlessly fried in a big powerline accident] An interesting idea you’ve got there. Let’s consider it carefully.
@163 Poteet: Sometimes, to get through to some people, one must beat the sense into them.
@Baja Gaijin:
Anything referencing a KLondike 5 phone number is a winner in my book.
Blondie – Dagwood isn’t afraid to cry in front of his best friend and in sight of his neighbors. He is a symbol of positive masculinity. (Herb’s a jackass, and Dagwood needs better friends, but let’s not dwell on the negative).
Mary Worth – Mary Worth isn’t supposed to be a funny comic, per se (Though Josh and the commenters make it so). But I am rooting for Sunny to have been involved in the crash to free himself and his captive kin. Give me liberty, death, or steamed sweet potatoes!
Mother Goose and Grimm – You can actually buy an R2-D2 French Press. Though having owned one, it’s not easy to clean, the novelty wears off, and you can find basic and cheaper version that are better at actual coffee making, and easier to clean and maintain.
Sex Organ V.D. :Its ether some DingDong™ or a parrot looking for your ice cream.
@Tabby Lavalamp:
@Baja Gaijin:
Anything referencing a KLondike 5 phone number is a winner in my book.
________________________________________________________________________
That is Savoir Faire’s telephone number!
“\(savoir\) \(faire\)” is everywhere”
@Poteet: Guillermo el chiclero: Yes!!! While wearing That Hairdo!!!
________________________________________________________
Marlo Thomas?!?
@Philip: Mother Goose and Grimm – You can actually buy an R2-D2 French Press.
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Big Deal! Data from STTNG is experienced in the French Press, and 69 other human intimate positions.
So, which SciFi creator was more into kinky robot sex? Gene Roddenberry or George Lucus? Please discuss and show your work.