What vile Scots obscenity is Ian shouting here? Sound off in the comments
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Blondie, 12/9/25
I’m pretty impressed that Alexander and Cookie have figured out how to mirror both their phones to the TV simultaneously, and even more impressed that they’ve managed to seize control of the wheeled TV stand, turn it 90 degrees from its usual position facing Dagwood, and roll it towards the viewer, yet somehow still have it visible to Blondie. I’m not impressed that Cookie thinks a circa 1985 camcorder is going to help her with her vlogging career.
Mary Worth, 12/9/25
Ah, yes, Ian has awoken to discover that the eternal struggle between man and bird has escalated yet further during his slumber! Is Toby to blame for this latest attack, since she bought Sunny an ample cage in which one might expect him to be confined at night, but then didn’t close the door? Well, maybe, but surely any animal clever enough to identify the particular bit of hoarded detritus to which Ian is most fiercely emotionally attached couldn’t be held back by some feeble latch.
Dennis the Menace, 12/9/25
Gotta say I’m intrigued by how philosophical Mr. Wilson looks here. Another birthday to celebrate, and the only people who showed up are his wife, who lives there anyway, and his most hated enemy, who is also a five-year-old child … truly, life is a funny old thing, and you never know exactly where you’re going to end up.
184 replies to “What vile Scots obscenity is Ian shouting here? Sound off in the comments”
Sunny is already cleverer than the entire cast of Mary Worth put together, since he took one look at Ian and knew that chipboard had to go. His hints are still subtle, but not for long. Tomorrow Ian will wake up with just clumps left.
Mr. Wilson is i years old, the imaginary square root of -1. I’m not sure it counts as older if you add a year.
MW: I don’t blame Ian for being upset. After all, Othello’s autograph is pretty rare.
Dennis the Menace-Keep talking like that, Dennis, and neither will you.
Blondie-Truly amazing how Dagwood can see what’s on the screen with the tv turned to the side.
RMMD-Why you’ll be big, Auggie. Bigger than Les Moore.
MW-Not Ian’s signed copy of a local regional production! Sunny is a monster.
Mary Worth:
“That’s my favorite Shakespeare play! — Moor or less!”
Mary Worth Mashups: I wondered what the next panel could be. Then created a few. Which is your favorite?
Blondie: Having lost track of hip, techno mimes long ago, I’m not sure why Cookie needs an eighties era camcorder but I’m pretty sure it’s related to Minecraft.
Mary Worth:
Gosh — where’s Jannie when you need a cigarette to calm yourself down?
DtM:
When it comes to curmudgeonly expressions, Mr. Wilson takes the cake.
MW: “Playbill” my ass. That’s Ian’s copy of “Playboy: Gay Edition” that Sunny found sticking out from beneath his mattress.
MW: Sunny is a racist?!
Didn’t see that coming.
(I had an original copy of the Othello Playbill starring Paul Robeson. I sold it to a collector of AA memorabilia)
The usually indulgent Mrs. Wilson is thinking, “Hey, I’m that old. Get that brat out of here.”
DtM:
[King Louis XVI]: “I hope Monsieur Wilson doesn’t lose his head over this insult by Dennis!”
[Marie Antoinette]: “Let them eat cake.”
@Baja Gaijin: Clearly panel 3. Sunny has heard what Tobey has been muttering under her breath.
Blondie : This is the worse case of a phenomenon I’ve mostly come across under the name “Pro Wrestlers watching TV”* I’ve EVER seen.
*The idea is that, when a pro wrestler is watching an opponent on closed-circuit TV, both the wrestler and the TV are blocked to face the audience, even if, when one would diagram their positions, that means the wrestler and the TV are facing AWAY from each other.
**************
Dustin : …Simone isn’t really Dustin’s employer. She’s a service worker helping him, or even further, DUSTIN is the one employing HER (to help him find a job). Or am I misunderstanding how a temp agency works?
**************
Mary Worth vs Moose & Molly : oh look, the strips are (briefly) coincidentally about the same general plot, just with the spouses’ roles reversed!
Also, this is the most relatable Ian has ever been to me, and I’m kinda scared about that? (I still kinda hold a grudge against an old pet for devouring a large quantity of books we owned)
**************
Shoe : …is actually his LAST name? Huh.
Blondie:
Do Cookie and Alexander actually ever do anything of substance in this strip, or do they simply while away their time with vague teen pursuits and interact only occasionally and languidly with events and people, like Tennyson’s Lotos-eaters?
MW: Sunny is a big fan of the late Gilbert Godfrey’s character from Aladdin, and thus was obliged to destroy the Moor.
MW: The parrot in the “Aladdin ” franchise is named Iago. Henceforth, I will hear Sunny sounding like Gilbert Gottfried.
RMMD: So, I guess Autumn Rook will have to live forever. Stephen King has taught us what happens otherwise.
DtM: Could be that Dennis-inspired bile, canker and loathing are the very secrets to Mr Wilson’s longevity. Stranger things have happened.
Ian. I know Aaron Posner. (I don’t.) Aaron Posner is a friend of mine. (I’ve never been within 50 miles of the man, as far as I know.) You, sir, are no Aaron Posner. (This much, at least, is true.)
@Gil Bates: Haha, you got in seconds ahead of me.
DUSTIN: “I heard that some employers surprised their workers with a gift. It’s something I learned in my brief sojourn as a male escort.” (Also, psst, Dustin? She’s not an “employer.” She’s an emissary to help you get work. You don’t “work” for her. Indeed since you’re the client in question she’s technically supposed to “work” for you. Just saying, Dustin, you might have an easier time getting hired under a creator who knew how the employer/employee chain-of-command actually worked.)
Mary Worth: “Mhac na galla” (son of a bitch)! Feel free to use it yourself — if you can figure out how to pronounce it.
Phantom:
“Okay, a little off-topic, but this fellow here in the first panel should probably go as Michael Ansara’s ‘Cochise’ for Halloween!”
MW: Is that Deep Space Nine‘s Avery Brooks as Othello? Is Ian annoyed that the bird has destroyed priceless literary culture, or is he annoyed that his Star Trek memorabilia just lost resale value?
Mary Worth:
[Text in today’s comic]: “Stupid $#@% bird!”
[Translation into colloquial Scot]: “Yer bum’s oot the windae!”
DT: OK – a cheap burner flip phone actually fits for someone who might need to ditch the phone suddenly.
MW: Wonderful – let the escalation begin! Sunny is smart – attacking the periphery, annoying Ian, and harrying him. Tobey will catch Ian trying to bash Sunny with a fire iron and acting crazy. Soon, school management will hear about this!
JP: Meanwhile … nevermind, I hope the spy/thriller story just goes away and is forgotten like the whole legal again. Years later after the strip has been renamed Charlotte, only historians will remember there was once legal stuff going on.
GT: It must be contagious! The kids are not blood related to Beth yet all are jowly.
Phantom: Yeah, you tell her, we is your badge. Patrolman Dai Lu Han retorts: “Badges? I don’t need no stinking badges”.
Slylock Fox: Is that a tofu dog or is this where Slylock goes to secreetly kill, butcher and eat his fellow creatures.
@Anonymous: P. Martin Shoemaker!
Blondie: I’m mostly impressed that the entire Bumstead family is wearing white shoes well after Labor Day.
Sunny’s ‘SQUAWK!” roughly translates to “Fuck you Chinbeard!”
Pluggers: That’s clearly not a single-occupancy bathroom (no latch/lock), the so how long is the bear-man going to be dancing as folks go in and out until he achieves the total woods-like privacy he apparently requires to shit?
Dennis the Menace: I’ve heard of living rent-free in somebody’s head, but living there immortally? That’s a whole ‘nother level of menace.
@Rosstifer: Sunny speaks for us all.
Dennis the Menace alt joke: I’ve met a number of centenarians who would have been just as happy not to see their next birthday. I’m beginning to understand their perspective on a new level. If I were at least 136 years old like Mr. Wilson, I’d be begging the pastor to call up to Heaven and tell God to send my mother to come collect me too.
@2+2=7: I inferred that Dustin got his jobs through a temp agency. When I worked for temp agencies, the temp agency was technically my employer, and the company they assigned me to just paid the temp agency a fee. So Dustin may not be too off-base here.
BLONDIE: Geez, Josh, maybe the clone children are soliciting us, the audience, to buy them their fancy I-gadgets for them as well. They know that “today’s savvy teen” can skip commercials and have learned from their corporate masters that they need to shove advertising anywhere they can (It’s definitely the lesson that Apple seems to have learned, at least.)
Blondie: I get why they showed the 1980s camcorder. If they wanted to depict a phone and a current video camera, it would just be two pictures of phones.
MW – Sunny will be remembered as one who shredded not wisely, but too well.
@Anonymous #16: The bigger problem is that this is basically just the “Wilbur hates Estelle’s cat” plot again.
Mary Worth: Really looking forward to Sunny declaring that he is a member of the Associated Presbyterian Churches of Scotland, and Ian’s participation in the Free Presbyterian Church is riddled with doctrinal error and Romish nonsense. I mean, I’m really looking forward to it. There’s nothing like coffee and schism in the Calvinist movement to get you moving in the morning!
@2+2=7: If “today’s savvy teen” can skip commercials, I wish they’d teach me how. As I write this, I’m being pitched an online university, a pinball machine, an IQ test, an anime, power mower accessories, a credit union, and a local Christmas attraction that’s actually local to *me* for a change. And some of them have rotated while I was writing this.
Yes, I know there’s an ad-free Comics Curmudgeon subscription that I probably should buy.
Mary Worth: Ian, no! Sunny didn’t do it. He was framed by Iago the parrot from Aladdin!
GIL THORP: OMG, girlfriend, Onomatopoeia Acessories is my favorite jewelry brand too! (seriously, what the fuck is Keri wearing?!)
MW – I hope Ian enjoyed the production of the musical Shaft.
Phantom: Since the weather was nice, she walked.
@matt w: well, the magnitude of (i+1) is bigger than i’s, but I’m not sure what counts as “age” in the 2D complex plane
That’s the real Apple Logo. I expected “Blondie” to sell out, but to a food company, not for electronics!
Six Chix: I don’t know what the joke is, but the Ghost of Christmas Past did not wear chains. That was the ghost of Marley.
Dennis is of course wrong. Mr Wilson is not getting any older. Just like Dennis, he’s stuck at his age, forever
Curtis Anybody else disturbed by how these pre-teens are talking about an ideal girlfriend in terms of qualities relevant to a couple that sets up house together? only me?
Luann I wonder which flavour of Incompetent Dog Rescue Theater we’re about to experience – zero vetting of the fosters adopting the dog concerning whether their residence is “legal”, or shrugging when they say Dash “ran away” and then keep him for themselves?
Sunny decided to destroy not any Shakespeare Playbill, but one with a POC on the cover. I’m not saying that parrots are racist, but…[note to self: check whether parrots can see colours]
Mary Worth: Maybe “Sunny” is actually Sonny in disguise! If they can keep him away from his beloved Cocoa Puffs, he won’t go cuckoo! Conflict solved!
MW: No one is surprised by how short and stubby Ian’s feet are.
Mary Worth:
Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with gain
Sunny, you riled at me and…really seized the pain
Now the snarked days are on, and the trite days are here
My Sunny one whines, insincere
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for the stunned whine today
Sunny, [blank] you for the drudge you brought my way
You gave to me your gall and gall
Now I feel two feet tall
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for the half-truths you let me see
Sunny, [blank] you for the “AK!”s from A to Z
My strife was torn like a wind-blown sand
Then your schlock was formed when we quelled plans
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for that bile upon your fa-ace
Mmm, Sunny, [blank] you, [blank] you for the scream that flows in spa-ace
You’re my snarked, ill-natured crier
You’re effete — complete misfire
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, yesterday, oh, my life was filled with gain
And Sunny, you riled at me and really, really seized the pain
Now the snarked days are on, and the trite days are here
My Sunny one whines, insincere
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
I bug you, I bug you (Sunny)
I bug you (Sunny), said, I bug you (Sunny)
Yes, I bug you (Sunny)
[fade]
— Bobby Hebb (adapted)
Blondie: Escher would be impressed by that optical illusion.
MW: Oh no! That’s probably been autographed by {squints} Keith David!
DtM: “I thought you were ageless, like a mummy or a dracula.”
DtM: Dennis quotes the bible:
Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures —Psalm 90:10
“You know.” Dennis says. “Your continued existence is a form of blasphemy”
I guess if you give Dagwood and Blondie a seating arrangement no couple in the history of humanity ever set up in their home no matter how much they didn’t care about each other, it’s no big deal to throw your hands up and say screw it, now nobody can see the TV for the sake of this joke.
***
I have a few signed mementos. They are all safe from birds, dogs, cats, and Toby (because come on, we don’t know who the actual culprit is) because I don’t just leave them out where something could happen to them. This is on you, Ian.
***
“Why aren’t you dead yet, Mr. Wilson?” Menacing Factor: 10/10.
Mary Worth:
Was the version that Ian saw the modern take on the play where Iago does an a cappella version of Peter and Gordon’s “I Go to Pieces”?
@Banana Jr. 6000: The ad-free version is only three bucks a month, and makes for a much more pleasant reading experience.
Luann: I’m not going to go back and check, but I think a bunch of people called this one.
CS: I just can’t get enough of the Pizza Box Monster! Thank goodness he’s in a wholly unrelated part of this universe!
9CL: Brahms, the quicker picker upper!
MW: Ian’s about to teach Sunny a new word. “Spatchcock”.
BG&SS: Be grateful for what you have, Snuffy: Perhaps the last rural Southern sheriff who didn’t sign a contract with Corrections Corporation of America.
Blondie – Cookie wants to make cyber porn and Alexander wants to watch it. Kids today! Amirite….
MW – Ah – the classic battle of wits – Ian versus Sunny! Of course the greater intellect will prevail. That’s why my money is on Sunny….
DtM – Good old Mr Wilson must pray for death every day. It’s good to have achievable goals….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Charterstone: Dune: He’s an anthropomorphic bear. His two sides combine to form a being who only shits in an outhouse in the woods. And no Porta-Potty, but a real one-holer made from wood.
@nescio: I guess Sunny shredded all of Ian’s razor’s too, because those are some hairy-ass feet, I tell you.
@CanuckDownSouth: I’m disturbed that the fat kid wants a “trad wife.”
@Harmless little bunny: So Xunise has not read Dickens or seen any of the dozens of movie adaptations. Worse, she’s never sat through any of the hundreds of sitcom parodies. Get thee to the “Flintstones Christmas Carol,” Binaca.
DtM: Dennis reminds Mr. Wilson that each birthday may well be his last, especially at his age. Menace level: existential.
MW: If it was so “prized,” why was it just left on the top shelf of the bookcase gathering dust? Maybe if you’d had a frame or protective sleeve for it Sunny wouldn’t be using it for bedding fodder.
FC: Yikes! Billy is about to be struck dead!
Dustin: I was going to comment on how unprofessional this is, but she is speaking with Dustin.
DtM – “And I bet you didn’t realize someone your age can die, did you, Dennis?”
Is anyone aware of how I Speak Jive is? Haven’t heard from her for a while.
MW: This is actually an ingenious introduction to the upcoming storyline in which Sunny drives Ian into a jealous fury by using a purloined handkerchief to fool him into thinking Toby is illicitly hooking up with a Charterstone neighbor to make the bird with two backs.
Dammit! Sorry for bogarting the LXIX spot.
Pluggers: What’s the matter, Andy? Did Sheila forget to make sure you had your Depends on?
Luann: I wonder who wrote the dorm rules at Moony U. They must read something like this:
“No pets or animals of any kind (except for documented and approved service animals) that a resident owns are permitted in university housing at any time for any reason. Residents are allowed to maintain pets or animals in university housing, just as long as they are not the owner.”
C’shaft: If you can call “world’s stupidest cryptid” a brand.
DT: Figures that Bogart would be on board with the retro “dumb phone” movement, especially in the surveillance state that is Neo-Chicago. Cops can’t monitor what they can’t track!
Dustin: Dustin, you’re expecting Bitter Temp Agency Lady, the single most misanthropic character in the strip (and that’s saying something) to do something nice for you? You really are slow on the uptake…
GT: Maybe don’t give Keri big chunky “YES/NO” earrings if you can’t figure out how to draw them at an angle.
Luann: When I was in college, my roommates and I once tried hiding a kitten in our dorm. We made it less than a week before the RA caught on and gently but very firmly told us to find it a new home. So I feel quite confident in calling preemptive BS on whatever “hilarity” is about to ensue.
RMMD: I swear, this strip is worse than Mary Worth when it comes to self-congratulatory wrap-up.
MW – I guess MacBeth would have been a little too on the nose. Or beak.
I have an autographed Playbill from the Lily Tomlin/Jane Wagner – The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. The only bird that could get away with destroying it without me going ballistic would be an Ivory Billed Woodpecker. Because while I am a theater lover, I’m a conservationist first.
Blondie: I hope Cookie remembered to add a few blank VHS cassettes on her Christmas list to go with that shoulder-mounted camcorder she’s asking for!
JP: Calling it now, April (with or more likely without Randy) is going to turn up on Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day) to reclaim Charlotte and whisk her off to yet another safe house.
Bonus if Emil (who I am *positive* is somewhere on the Spencer grounds as I type) turns out to be one of Pavel’s goons who was using Sophie’s sudden and heretofore unacknowledged love of cheap pop culture trash (just have her say she loves ‘Starlee and the Moonbeams’, Ces, you know you want to!) to get close to the rest of the Cavelton Clown Show residents and we end with that brand new barn getting ‘sploded real good.
DT: [cue CSI: Miami theme]
@taig: On Luann: [raises hand]
GT: Keri’s earrings courtesy of the Robert Mitchum Collection.
@Tabby Lavalamp: DtM: I was going to say the same thing, but double-checked first, to see if anyone made that joke first.
So I Control F’d “Dead” and yep, you already made that joke. Kudos to you ^^
“Squawk! Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,
But seeming so, for my peculiar end:
For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In compliment extern, ’tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at: I am not what I am. Squawk!”
“Othello, Act I, Scene 1! My god, bird, are you a fan of the bard? Perhaps we can work this out! ‘If after every tempest come such calms . . . .'”
“Squawk! Demand me nothing: what you know, you know:
From this time forth I never will speak word. Squawk!”
“Brilliant delivery, bird! I was so mistaken about you. Say something else. Perhaps some Lear, or Caesar, or maybe a little Marlowe if you’re nasty!”
But the bird fell silent. Ian could never convince Toby, or Mary, or anyone that the bird had given the best delivery of Iago since McKellen. In fact, the bird never made another sound until Ian’s death in the asylum, and that was only to whistle the entirety of The Michigan Rag at his funeral.
@Tabby Lavalamp: @TheDiva: Yes, good point about Ian’s lack of care, but you still have to respect Sunny’s ability to distinguish Ian’s possessions from Toby’s. Though maybe Toby put all her stuff safely away a couple days ago, when she realized parrots have no bowel control.
@TheDiva:
MW: I had the same thought.
BB: this bugs me. Zero is a farm boy. He almost certainly grew up around guns. This makes no sense. I’m probably alone in this.
@Pozzo:Hmm, I remember reading about the name change of Where’s Wally to Waldo in North America.
When the 90’s North American animated series gave Waldo an evil counterpart “Odlaw” the name Odlaw was kept in the British version of the cartoon, despite the protagonist still being called Wally there.
They could have changed it to “Yllaw” but that’s likely unpronounceable. (Unless you’re Welsh)
As others have mentioned, the parrot in Alladin is named Iago. And, like Othello, Ian is much older than his wife. Looking forward to the blood-drenched conclusion of Mary Worth!
MW Terry Crews is … Othello!
@Baja Gaijin: Poor Julia Louis-Dreyfus. First she storms up to the Griswold place and gets hit with a psycho squirrel and now Ian is going to throw a vengeful parrot into her face. It ain’t fair, I tells ya.
@Baja Gaijin: I like the staredown between Ian and Sunny. Ian will lose.
@Rube: Yeah, I need to sign up for that, as much as I read and post here.
Blondie: The art in this one is just a goddamned mess. Why is Blondie’s chair faced towards the wall with it’s back against Dagwood’s chair? Why are the chairs situated near the exit of the living room? How are Dagwood and Blondie seeing the tv when it’s somehow been angled into the middle of the room and facing the fourth wall? What is even the layout of this room and the building it inhabits? What a shitshow.
Mary Worth: It sounds impossible, but this arc of Mary Worth is a genuine delight. Don’t get wrong, it’s just as stupid and weird as any other story in this strip, but it’s fucking hilarious watching Ian feud with a parrot. Which is more than can be said for ninety-nine percent of the comic’s arcs. I’d rather get another year of Ian V. Sunny than spend even a single day on another bought of Wilbur apologia or Olive worship.
Dennis The Menace: So, like, Mr. Wilson’s wife is actively torturing her husband, right? That’s the only reason I can comprehend as to why she keeps bringing Dennis into their home and shoving him into Wilson’s face despite how much he clearly despises the kid.
CS: Apparently Tom Batiuk first heard the terms “build my brand” and “side hustle” 11 months ago.
@7 Baja Gaijin:
It’s interesting to see we’re going back to that old meme of “[your choice here] ate my balls!” In this case, Wilbur. Although Dagwood might be a logical choice.
Mary Worth: Ian is cursing in Scottish (last night’s finnan haddie did NOT sit well with him) – the word ‘FAWKING’ will be uttered not ony today, but into the future when this situation has dragged to a close.
@Guy Nerdlinger: Set on Venice Beach!
MW: Pretty sure the word “bawbag” is going to be involved.
@Ken: I think it’s more that Toby doesn’t have enough of a personality to have anything worth wrecking. You think Sunny’s going to tear up those ugly-ass horse statues? He has standards.
@Banana Jr. 6000: #35: Correct, when I worked through a temp agency my paychecks were issued by the temp agency, not whoever they sent me to that week. Simone seems to be more of an employment counselor, whose job it is to find Dustin a permanent position in exchange for a commission. They only seem like temp jobs because Dustin usually gets fired within the first week.
MW Sunny was reckless. It was important to him. #teamIan this time.
@Bob Tice: 54- Do you remember a song titled “Sunny Skies” by James Taylor?
@Anonymous:
I do. I also remember “Sunny Came Home” by Shawn Colvin. Both were rather depressing songs.
Phantom: How can the intelligence officer be so fuckin’ dumb?
There’s only room for one Iago on the Charterstone stage, and her name is Mary.
Sunny, if you come at the queen, you’d best not miss.
MW- Ian needs to get some ready mix concrete and a little D-con and mix it in with Sunny’s pellets. Bye bye birdy!
MW: Wait until Ian finds outs Sunny drank his bottle of single malt.
MW:
Oh, goodness, Josh. Ian’s not anathematizing Sunny. He’s just affectionately reciting Rabbie Burns poetry to him in Burns’ native Scots dialect — you know, the whole “auld lang syne” thing.
@nescio: 53- Now that you mention it, Ian should check his house slippers for bird shit before he puts them on.
MW: How does Sunny have an expressive BEAK? I can go along with squinty eyes or ruffled feathers, but a bird’s beak is a beak is a beak. Until Ian punches it out.
Very bad luck to punch a parrot.
@2+2=7: “MW: I guess Sunny shredded all of Ian’s razor’s too, because those are some hairy-ass feet, I tell you.”
Ian’s not a Scot. He’s a Hobbit!
@Josh — when you mentioned Scots, I thought of Groundskeeper Wille and his Scottish hatred of all races (including Scots!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2q0T7QXETs
DtM: George Wilson suffers from advanced dementia, and Martha has in her desperation latched onto the only thing that currently keeps him from flying into a destructive rage: a party in his honor! A month from now she’ll have to come up with something different. Good days, bad days; the ratio keeps getting worse.
MW: A production of Othello seems to be Moy’s nod toward DEI.
Blondie: Was this joke good enough to justify violating every principle of composition the artist was taught long ago in art school? I’m going to stick my neck out (unlike Blondie and Dagwood themselves) and say no.
MW: I will wear my heart upon my sleeve for parrots to peck at, I am not what I am. Even now, now, very now, an old Scots ram is tupping your blonde ewe. They are making the beast with one hairy back.
@Bob Tice:
Cookie has her OnlyFans page.
@Ukulele Ike: Chinbeard’s in store for a peck of trouble…..
Crank: “I’ve decided to expand my brand” is a weird way of saying “Batty really is completely out of ideas.”
DT: Dammit, if I’d known we were getting this today, I’d have saved my “Dick is entirely unconcerned that his snitch, who has gone above and beyond what is normally expected of a snitch, may have been killed as a result” bit, rather than using it yesterday! So, yeah, still that, but more blatantly in the actual strip.
FG: If I were Bones, I think I’d be insulted by the question. Not that Aura thinks they might have sided against Team Flash if convenient, but that Aura thinks if they wanted Flash unconcious they wouldn’t have successfully rendered him unconcious.
MW, meta: As the token Scot around here, I suppose I should address the question in the post title. Unfortunately, mollificent has already suggested “bawbag”, which is one of my favourites.
S4th: Huh. Did Ted wear glasses in early strips, or is this meant to be a future version? Is Sally going to get a Ghost of Christmas Present who’s just her as she is now?
@CanuckDownSouth: Curtis Anybody else disturbed by how these pre-teens are talking about an ideal girlfriend in terms of qualities relevant to a couple that sets up house together? only me?
A bit. More so that those qualities are “obedient housemaid”, to be honest.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: It’s true, they really did ruin Scotland! (Maw Broon always insisted she was a Pict, and who am I to argue?)
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’ve always inferred “temp agency”, which would also make today’s strip make sense. But this person has no real identity beyond “character who exists to degrade Dustin.” Does she even have a name?
Dennis: “I thought you’d be dead by now, old man!”
Pretty danged menacing.
@Banana Jr. 6000:FWIW, Wikipedia indicates that her name is Simone Fontenot and she runs TurboTemps Employment Agency. /shrug/ There’s all kinds of crap on Wikipedia, and I don’t remember seeing any of that being mentioned in strip.
love is… being gang-tackled by your grandchildren.
Fred Basset Spanish to English,
Blondie – “Before I draw nearer to that monitor to which you point,” said Dagwood, “answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the gifts that Must be, or are they shadows of gifts that May be, only?”
Still the Greedy Children pointed downward to the TV by which they stood.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hurray! We may have a diagnosis for my finger!”
“Congratulations!”
“That’s good, Wilson!”
“That hot new nurse is brilliant! At last someone is taking an interest all in my mysterious symptoms, so I think I’ll be seeing her a lot from now on…”
“Wow!”
“Unless science finds a cure for hypochondria”
[Sign: INFIRMARY]
MW: Has it ever been mentioned in the strip if Ian is from Scotland or if he’s just of Scottish ancestry?
“Gah ya blimy son of a MacMillian’s wife!”
Vintage Funky Wiinkerbean: Bob Tice’s wife teaches school.
@Peanut Gallery: Never realized that ‘Wow’ was Spanish for “Wow”!
Blondie: Unusual choice for the Bumsteads to paint their corridor (Caucasian) flesh colored. It makes it look like there’s a voluptuous naked woman standing between Alexander and Cookie, unless that’s just me.
MW: I used to have a roommate with a baby, so I can identify with the situation, but Ian’s tiny Hobbit feet are so distracting.
@Sequitur: A well-deserved slap to the “FW used to be funny!” contingent here. FW was never funny.
@130 Ukulele Ike:
I thought it was funny. But then, I like falling out of trees.
Re: Dustin’s employment/temp agency. There’s a theory that Simone is actually Dustin’s dad Ed in drag and blackface.
Pluggers: Do public bathrooms come in “MEN”, ” WOMEN” and “PLUGGERS”? With the Plugger facility being just a hole in a bench or one of those old timey draw chain toilets, and a copy of the 1933 Sears catalog instead of toilet paper?
@GarrisonSkunk: “WOW” is also Chinese for “MOM.”
(See, because in old cartoons China is depicted as upside-down… never mind.)
Sunny lording over Ian with a “Come at me Bro!” pose with a vengeful “SQUAWK” is among the greatest pieces of art of the 21st Century
DtM:
“Martha, why is there a taper on my cake instead of birthday candles?”
“I’ll always be able to use a taper after I’ve stopped making birthday cakes, George.”
C-Shaft: Yeah, Lillian, we all thought the same thing. But most of us said something on the order of “goddamnit” on finding out it wasn’t true.
DT: Yes, well, dead zones don’t get much deader than, you know, death, which is where he very well could be.
Dustin: Better question would be why she doesn’t elevate her desk a bit so that she’s not gazing into a barely employable Zoomer’s navel.
GT: The Henry Barajas who wrote this a few weeks (months?) back was quite prescient in foreseeing that we’d be deep into winter by the start of December. That being the case, it’s not a sure thing whether Beth just let out an emotional “sniff” or a runny nose “sniff.”
Lockhorns: Leroy and Loretta face having to curtail their annual trip to Europe, another reminder—if one is needed—that their financial distress is relative.
Luann: Within five seconds Bets will quote Lt. Cmdr. Data in saying, “To hell with our orders,” and the moment will officially be over.
Phantom: The Phantom is distracted from putting his latest unconscious-if-he’s-lucky victim in a hilarious pose.
RMMD: It probably won’t be revealed that the bidding war between the two publishers is a complete fiction concocted by Augie in order to make himself look more impressive, but in isolation that’s how it looks.
@White Rabbit: Have you spent much time around the military?
Blondie: Note how Blondie says they are mirroring their phones, a term nobody under the age of 80 would use.
I wonder how many comics Blondie has done that shoehorn the word Bluetooth.
@Professor Well Actually: Zero was once shown to have real marksmanship. A true idiot savant.
Unlike other themes in Beetle (he is lazy, he or Sarge are hanging on the branch off that cliff), that was, and this is, probably a one-shot. Can’t have any continuity, or character arcs.
@GarrisonSkunk: Neither. He just used to be the President of Santa Royale’s Proclaimers fan club.
@Sequitur:
If I were to make a pun about a leavened flatbread from South and Central Asia, would that be a naan, Sequitur?
@Guy Nerdlinger: Good point, but I thought the Jungle Patrol was an exception to the rule.
MW: You’d think that if that autographed Playbill was such a cherished memento Ian would keep it somewhere secure, like a locked cabinet, and not leave it out in the open for Sunny to get his talons on it.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Maybe Ian’s never owned a pet, that can fly and thus easily reach the high shelves, before.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: re: Phantom: You remind me of the scene in The Loved One (1965) where Rod Steiger, in the role of mortician Mr. Joyboy, amuses himself by molding the face of the corpse of John Gielgud into a series of grotesque expressions.
I’m not a Mary Worth superfan, but this is the first I’ve ever heard of Ian potentially being actually Scots and not just having a traditionally Scots name like a lot of non-Scots people. (Knowing how comics work, I think if this was actually the case they would have occasionally drawn him in a kilt or with more clearly exaggerated Scots jargon in his speech bubbles.)
@Sequitur: I found the pun mildly amusing, but then we got the patented Funkyverse “No, you see the actual joke is how much everyone in-universe hates the joke” bit. As a relative newbie (only 14 years), I’d always kind of assumed this was a recent development when Batty stopped being so good at actually constructing jokes.
@White Rabbit: Anyone who decides they want to join the Jungle Patrol is fine with the fact they literally don’t know who’s giving the orders. I don’t believe they get the best and brightest.
@JeffMcm: I think the first time I realised Chinbeard was meant to be Actually Scottish (or maybe Actually American Who’s Proud Of His Scottish Heritage, I’m not sure) was in the Toby Gets Scammed story, where she was buying him a DVD about Loch Lomond or something.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: #137: re-RMMD: I think this “bidding war” between two publishers goes something like this, one vanity press was offering to print 100 copies of Augie’s book for $10,000, the second said they’ll do it for $9,000, and Augie and his agent are waiting to see if the first one gives a counter offer of $8,000.
@Ukulele Ike: That was a great movie on a number of levels. I loved Liberace’s sales pitch.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Oh, yeah, I loved all the cameos — Liberace; Milton Berle; Dana Andrews; James Coburn; Roddy McDowall; Lionel Stander. And Jonathan Winters and Rod Steiger were outstanding.
The only lousy performer was Robert Morse, who was, unfortunately, the star.
To be fair, Cookie just remembers that camera from that time she hooked up with that older fellow, who “totally got what her art was about.”
I should be alarmed their living room is a sliding set, but that kinda seems on brand, no?
@Guillermo el chiclero: Nearly 25 years in book publishing and exactly TWO of my authors’ novels were made into movies. Peter Abrahams’ The Fan was a big 1996 bomb with Wesley Snipes and Robert DeNiro; Donald E. Westlake’s What’s the Worst that Could Happen was a big 2001 bomb with Martin Lawrence and Danny DeVito. Oh, and Ruth Rendell’s very English The Bridesmaid (published 1989) was a French art film by Claude Chabrol in 2004.
What I’m sayin’ is, don’t expect to see Augie and Summer as the toasts of Hollywood.
@The Quiet Man: JP: Calling it now, April (with or more likely without Randy) is going to turn up on Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day) to reclaim Charlotte and whisk her off to yet another safe house.
More likely she’ll come down the chimney and slaughter all her foes in their sleep. In her underwear. Red. Then eat the snacks and leave.
Late hit on Blondie Creative Trust: Please don’t let Josh notice the television placement, please don’t let Josh notice the television placement, please don’t let Josh—DAMMIT!
I’d feel sorry for Mr. Wilson’s lack of a social life if “social life” in this strip didn’t mean “an endless stream of one-time visitors whom we otherwise belittle”.
Late Thread Cuisine: In honor of Ian Cameron.
“Och, away’ wi’ yon wee fithery scunner, the noo! Yin muir blether oot o’ye an ye’ll find I’m a muckle bampot when I’m fashit!”
Slylock Fox: Plugger bear should have followed his wild cousin’s lead in Slylock Fox. In the left panel, the bear’s peeing in the bush. In the right panel, he’s pooping in the woods.
Sally Forth: Why does fantasy Ted have a white bowler hat for a lampshade?
@158 Baja Gaijin:
That’s what you get for honoring Ian.
It just occurred to me. I’m mostly (northern, including Scotland) British on my father’s side and mostly Norwegian on my mother’s side but I don’t particularly care for the cuisine of either culture.
@Baja Gaijin:
Why there are many English pubs but no English restaurants, exhibit one.
@160 Baja Gaijin:
Now you’re enjoying my theme of last night.
Ahhh, the jellied meats. Truly the under-served cousins of the…good meats.
I’d eat it, just…well, whatever
@Baja Gaijin: The English embarked on a campaign of horribly exploitive colonialism in order to bring foreign cuisine to the homeland. The French, by contrast, embarked on a campaign of horribly exploitive colonialism in order to spread elements of French cuisine abroad.
(Whenever someone says that nothing good ever came from colonialism, the banh mi is my go-to counterexample)
@Anonymous: One of my favorite restaurants in the world is London’s Anchor & Hope, south of the Thames and across from the Old Vic, with a classic English menu, excellent wines and a variety of real ales. The potted shrimp is dynamite. DO click on the “menu” tab.
@Baja Gaijin: $#@%
@Baja Gaijin: It *looks* like a fine, albeit crowded, brothy soup. If that were the case, sure, but given the title, hard pass.
@Professor Well Actually:
BB: this bugs me. Zero is a farm boy. He almost certainly grew up around guns. This makes no sense. I’m probably alone in this.
IIRC, Blackpowder rifles can be cleaned with soap and water because of the soot which makes some sense when you consider the soldiers of Camp Swampy are still using Civil War weaponry.
anonymous was me
@161 Sequitur: It contains both chicken and gammon. How could it not be tasty?
@164 A Grave Mind: Am I surprised? Is Sunny the Parrot the best cartoon character on the comics page this week?
@165 Dmsilev: SNERK!
@166 Ukulele Ike: It’s so expensive!
@167 taig: You don’t like broccoli?
@CanuckDownSouth: Believe it or not, the recipe calls for only half an ounce of gelatin. Half an ounce of gelatin to make all that. [shivers]
LUANN: Tiff has a manse with room for a sweet dog, and she might get over her fear of being alone with Dash by her side. Yet it wouldn’t be fair to leave Dash home alone all day.
@Banana Jr. 6000: But this person has no real identity beyond “character who exists to degrade Dustin.”
Ironically, the character herself believes Dustin has no real identity beyond “character who exists to annoy me.”
@Ukulele Ike: #167: Here in ethnically diverse Houston we probably have a restaurant, if not several, representing about every country on Earth. There have been several attempts at an English restaurant, but all have failed. We have several successful English pubs, however.
@Anonymous: “Or am I misunderstanding how a temp agency works?”
Dustin is a ware that Simone is attempting to sell.
I want the bird to shit on Ian, and then Ian kills the bird. He then makes a meal with it and serves it to Toby a la “-Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.”
MF: (strip that must not be discussed). To whom does this apply?
@Professor Well Actually: You are not alone in this. Zero is canonically a crack shot and this joke shows no respect for The Lore!
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, admittedly Morse was a bit out of his depth in that role, having to fake a British accent and not having any opportunity to sing or act big (I think he’s terrific in ‘How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying’). On the other hand, he may be the ‘star’ but he’s really just the straightman for the luancy happening all around him.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I went to a British restaurant when I was at Disney World.
Well, technically, it was full to capacity so that evening we had to eat at an outside table in the freezing cold.
We ordered so much coffee…
MW: By Friday, the conflict will escalate to the point where Sunny cuts the brake-lines on Ian’s car, causing him to go over the side of a bridge.
Ian and Toby settle in to watch “The Birds”. Ian glares at Toby when the line “SHE brought the birds here…” is said;
DTM:
no snark here, that is really a lovely panel. In an age when most strips half ass detail, the reverse out on the line work on George’s arm against his black sweater is a nice touch and there’s the suggestion of mass in George’s right hand pressing against his face. The diagonal hatching behind Martha both breaks up the space and nicely suggests light direction, and the dishes are drawn in perspective. Hell, even Dennis’s head is drawn in perspective, and the slightly exasperated, slighty put-out expression on Martha’s face is a delight. Everything is nicely composed to add to the dramatic tension. Kudos all around to whoever worked worked on this panel, including the colorists.