Monday is for the birds
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Alice, 12/22/25
One of the distinctive features of Alice comics is the little … title? caption? … that goes in the bottom margin. Usually it just sort of adds to the vibe, but sometimes it’s important for the narrative. For instance, real Alice fans (which I assume include all of you) know that just a few weeks ago she was declaring that new cars don’t need “all that stuff,” and it’s making them too expensive. So you’d be tempted to angrily declare “Alice! I can’t believe you’re backsliding on all the features new cars have!” except then you look down at the bottom of the panel and see the word “backsliding,” so you know she’s being self-aware about it.
Shoe, 12/22/25
Speaking of real fans, real Shoe fans instantly recognize “Madame Zoo Doo,” the strip’s resident psychic, just from her character design. I personally don’t think it’s realistic that she’d bring her crystal ball with her to lunch at Roz’s diner. It’s not necessary and frankly a little insulting to think that we wouldn’t recognize her without it. I demand that my relationship with this syndicated newspaper comic about depressed bird-people be grounded in mutual respect!
Mary Worth, 12/22/25
Wait, is Toby changing her plans because she wants to spend more time with Sunny, and she can’t at her friend’s opening? Because “A semi-professional art gallery in a small California college town has a strict no-birds policy” is actually one of the less realistic propositions Mary Worth has ever offered us.
64 replies to “Monday is for the birds”
MW:
“Something suddenly came up! — probably the carbonation from my three CC and gingers!”
MW:
“I’m going to stay home and splash Sunny’s guano all over a canvas! — it’ll be like a monochromatic Jackson Pollock!”
Alice:
I guess there could never be an Alice Pez Dispenser, because all of the candy would fall right out of the top.
Shoe:
A devotee of this strip and the psychic character in it, the late Jimi Hendrix immortalized his fondness for them by penning the iconic line “Lawd knows I’m a Zoo Doo child.”
Alice: I was halfway through reading Josh’s comment before I realized he wasn’t talking about GearHead Gertie. When you can’t keep the characters straight in a featured strip you might be a Plugger.
Sunny looks smug. Everything is unfolding exactly as he planned.
Alice: Alice will have to pay extra for the rental car company to deodorize her car. Look at all those stink lines! Take a shower more frequently! Sheesh!
Alice: It’s amazing how this strip can take a little slice of everyday life and make it not all that funny.
Shoe: “Excuse me, I was talking to the ball...”
MW Suddenly this feels like some kind of an After School Special warning against the getting hooked on birds. Not a parrot, not a cockatiel, not even a budgie, kids. Not even once.
MW: “When Toby changes her plans….” One look from Sunny and Narration Box cuts off mid-sentence in fear. It seems Ian is the last thing standing between Sunny and World domination.
@Bob Tice: Many times I’ll see merchandise or walk-around costumes of certain characters and think ‘some things just do *not* work in three dimensions’. Think Bluey or Peppa Pig (the latter of which is already ugly enough).
I’m certain trying to do that with Alice would result in an abomination that might give even Lovecraft pause.
MW: Tomorrow’s strip continues today’s action, as a tired Ian trudges home from work to find Toby, Sunny, Saul, Eve, Libby, Pierre, Odin, and Mary ready to stage an intervention.
CS: You know, I will take away every nasty thing I ever said about this strip if tomorrow Ed unknowingly turns the oven on and accidentally devises a recipe for Cardinal Fricassee.
Shoe: Read between the lines, Ms Zoo Doo. She doesn’t want her boyfriend visiting YOU! or any other sexy psychic, as you sit there gently caressing his image in your crystal ball.
@pugfuggly: Suddenly a brown cat who sounds vaguely like Marvin the Martian appears in the window to hand her a business card for Birds Anonymous. ‘I wouldn’t *do* that! We can *help*!’
@J.J. O’Malley: Unfortunately, Batiuk isn’t that clever as that isn’t an oven. My prediction is tomorrow the cat leaps into the drawer before whatshisface can put the screen over it and the next red we see will be an explosion of feathers.
Luann: I thought this was already settled? Why are we back here?
DT: Welp, I stand corrected. I thought they’d be sunk in a couple thousand feet of fetid water with no hope of recovery with our two ‘heroes’ pontificating about tampering in God’s domain or whatever…
Octopus Pie had a whole arc about Eve taking a shoulder parrot to a gallery opening and getting adopted by the hipsterati. Try to keep up, Mary Worth!
MW: Don’t leave me hanging, narration box!
“When Toby changes her plans…”
All hell breaks loose?
The timelines split like in Sliding Doors or Run Lola Run?
An airplane crashes into the art opening like in Donnie Darko, followed by Sunny coercing Toby into a series of crimes (thanks imdb synopsis!)?
MW: Is Sunny sitting on Toby’s shoulder telling her what to say into the phone? Only asking cause suddenly she sounds so articulate.
@J.J. O’Malley: My oven’s “keep warm” setting is 170 degrees. And keeping the bird warm isn’t going to help the shattered body it probably has.
MW: Toby is going to spend a quiet night at home with a bowl of sunflower seeds, watching “The Birds.” She believes that this was her idea.
Pluggers demonstrates why “rare as hen’s teeth” is desirable. Those are nightmare fuel.
Mary Worth: Come Christmas, if we have not gotten two solid panels of Toby with an eye-patch and peg leg parading around with Sunny on her shoulder and going ARRRRR, I’m a pirate, there is no meaning to existence and we riot.
Also Mary Worth: Toby wisely googling “bird law divorce lawyer how much paperwork” before setting her plans for tomorrow.
I just now realized that the caption/title thing in Alice is actually commentary from the aliens who monitor her activities from the floorboards. This makes a great deal of sense, and also no sense at all, which is perfect for Alice and also makes me wonder what I’m doing with my time when I should be getting ready for work.
I can’t believe you all! Can’t you see Sunny has taken over Toby and is making her speak whatever he wants? The poor woman is being held hostage and not one of you seems to care about it!
Shoe: Are bird psychics actual psychics, or do they use magnetized sections of their brains to predict the future? Are bird psychics members of the Roma? Do they have 1-900 lines? Do adepts of bird esoterica celebrate Christmas? I have so many questions not to contemplate, at all, ever.
@Ukranazi Stepan: Almost like she’s parroting his lines?
What if Sunny hates Ian because he is the mastermind of the illegal bird smuggling ring? That’s what he was doing while away!
MW – “Something suddenly came up” is right out of “The Brady Bunch” in the episode titled “The Subject Was Noses.” Marcia uses that excuse to break a date with Charlie so she can go out with Doug Simpson, the Big Man on Campus. If this storyline tracks with that episode, expect Toby to take a football to the nose some time this week.
MW: Sunny seems pretty smug, knowing that Taylor will be left high and dry at his opening. Anyway, who’s Taylor?
Alice: I initially read that as “How do you like your renal care?”, which didn’t affect the “joke” at all.
Alice, your favorite no frills comic strip, where you don’t have to worry about details like “who is this?”, “what are they talking about?” or my favorite, “Is she working on her laptop or opening a flat, silver box?”
Alice, for all your humor related needs.*
*Humor not included
Glad Toby specified it was an art opening.
Sounds like Ian’s Viagra finally kicked in!
Mary Worth: I guess the story is about Toby’s obsession with Sunny is destroying her life? We’ll find out in due time, but I hope we can get at least one more rage montage of Ian finding broken stuff and yelling about it.
@The Quiet Man: That’s not exactly a high bar to clear. Lovecraft’s sanity-blasting abominations aren’t any more grotesque than, say, the living creatures of the book of Ezekiel.
Alice! Don’t fall for it or the next thing you know you’ll be paying for a subscription in order to be able to use the heated seats you already bought with your next new car! I wish this wasn’t a joke!
***
If Madame Zoo Doo was an actual psychic, she’d know not to eat at Roz’s. Ha! OH NO! Am I turning into a bird person?!?!
***
If Toby isn’t a pirate by March then once more Mary Worth will fail to give the readers what they want.
CS: And now we very deliberately add a way to see the bird but without a way of escape, sort of like a prison, or hotbox. Everybody ready for Ed’s entrance?
FC: Not surprised Jeffy is praying to Jack Frost. This strip was originally published when the liturgy was still in latin. He has no idea what’s going on.
(Singing O Fortuna)
Alice-Such wonderous features like brakes and seatbelts.
FC-“I feel like I’ve been three for decades.”
MW-“Now, Toby, here is how you disappears Ian’s body,” Sunny instructs her.
RMMD-Where’s Hannukah Harry?
Hmm. Has Alice been running 19 separate plot arcs all this time, each advancing by one panel every 19 strips? On January 9, will we see Alice buying a new car and asking about the features? Meanwhile the alien interviews, the talks with the niece, the conversations with AI robots, and 15 other plots riffle past on their own schedules? Sure, it’s a silly and ridiculous idea, but we’re talking about Alice.
I’m going to cheat and re-post this from yesterday, since it was pretty late and the comments were pretty dead: The end of the Ian/Sunny confrontation.
If I was writing Mary Worth, Mary would be solving murders at Charterstone/Santa Royale, and Wilbur would be in the Sheriff Tupper role. She’s already got Doctor Jeff in the Doc Hazlitt role.
You could have a “Sunny the Parrot Gets Murdered” arc, bring back some classic characters like the Central Park Shover, re-investigate Aldo Kelrast’s death (was it REALLY a case of drunk driving, or did someone cut his brakes?), and maybe have some of Tommy Tweakers old buddies come by to cause some trouble.
Anything would be better than this desperate brain rot.
Alice – My car is so old that when you crank ‘er over, you use an actual crank….
Shoe – The good book warns us against soothsayers – not including the prophets, or is it profits….
MW – Shiver me timbers….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Madame Zoo Doo: “So, Roz, is there anything you’re hoping to get for Christmas?”
Roz: “Have you heard of hotwifing?”
Zits: Jeremy know nothing about fishing. Why isn’t he approaching some Walgreen’s shop girl for help in the “personal items” aisle?
Beetle Bailey: Is this a story arc? I’m legit invested into who figures out the way to Sarge’s heart.
BG&SS: It’s nice to see one building in Hootin’ Holler which is plumb and has no patches on it.
HtH: Would it be too much to have asked for a better pun? “Get the life belts!”, maybe? Yes. Yes, it would.
Zoo Doo—The National Zoo in Washington DC used to offer especially pungent fertilizer to the public known as Zoo Doo. Just say’n.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Avast, matey! I be with you! We’ll send Moi to Davy Jones’s locker!
Shoe – “Tell him I would like to have a boyfriend for more than just the span of one strip where he’s needed for a gag and is never mentioned before or after.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“You should ride a bike for exercise”
“Have you noticed that I have the legs of a dwarf, Doc?”
“Get AI to design you a special bicycle”
“My Fitbit doesn’t seem to be working”
MW: Toby’s solution is to never leave Ian and Sunny alone together again. Her life is going to become an ongoing version of the “fox-chicken-grain” puzzle.
Shoe: Madame Zoo Doo knows that in this highly competitive world, you need more than a crystal ball and cultural appropriation from the Romani to distinguish yourself. That’s why she’s offering flexibility and convenience to her customers as a mobile psychic!
Nothing Is Not Something: Is there something about Vincent Van Gogh I don’t know or is this merely flippant brain farting?
C’shaft: Good one, Jeff, unfunny and insensitive to the situation.
DT: Ozob and Bogart not only survived the crash, but are still hale and hearty enough to be wrangling with each other at the base of the ravine? To hell with arresting Ozob, the police need to hire him away from the mob and make him the auto mechanic equivalent of a white hat hacker.
Dustin: The good news is that someone’s willing to call Dustdad out on his assumption that cooking is strictly women’s work. The bad news is that person is Dustsis, and she’s only doing it as part of her ongoing campaign to be as mean-spirited as possible.
RMMD: So Wanda makes the entire interior of the restaurant look like the store scene from A Christmas Story blew up inside it, and Truck…hangs a wreath. Good job chipping in there, Truck!
RMMD- What!? He placed the wreath upon the door? Please don’t tell me Truck stopped loving Wanda today! (Is that shirt an early X-mas gift?)
The palm trees leaned in to listen. Their agent was in place, deep inside Charterstone. It should be obvious, an alliance between the birds and the trees, but the humans were as ignorant and blinkered as usual. Soon the bird would drive in the fatal wedge, damage the relationship between the humans beyond what the Worth could fix. And when the Worth despaired, the palms would finally show their hands.
BB: I think Beetle put Cookie up to hosting a Christmas dinner to keep Sarge from showing up at Beetle’s family Christmas gathering. And who could blame Beetle? Would you want a guy who routinely beats you up hanging around on Christmas?
CS: Jeff’s been reading Mary Worth lately, I see…….
DTM: Two days ago, Dennis was admitting to Santa he’s not exactly been good all year. Now this! But though you can tell he’s not fooled, kudos to Santa for (this time) keeping his poker face on.
FC: Well, sheesh, Jeffy! It’s a day after the winter solstice. Aren’t the days going by fast enough as it is?! P.S. in a few decades, you’ll wish the days could go by a lot slower.
S4th: Pretty sure that hot cocoa Ronan served you is responsible for al those hallucinations.
@The Quiet Man: re:Luann Not going to snark on it, it’s actually pretty realistic that it takes time to process a pet adoption application, it’s usually volunteers, etc. *Our* furry foster got an interested party -> good meet and greet one week ago and we figured what with travel plans and the pace at which the rescue operates, it would be off to doggy boarding and the application to home check to likely handoff around New Years Day. But the fluffy old dude got his Christmas miracle with the volunteers getting everything checked quickly and he was off to his new people (and doggy buddy!) on time for everyone’s holiday plans!
@Voshkod:
And Madame Zoo Doo would read them.
@ValdVin: re:Zites But he does know his dad likes fishing?
MT Did the writer realize just now that a Texas flash flood storyline during the holidays was still a bit soon and dropped it like a radioactive hot potato?
SHOE: Roz is clearly sexually threatened by Madame Zoo Doo and her expert ball-handling skills.
Mary Worth: “Tell her you can’t attend her art opening tonight… something suddenly came up.” “I can’t attend your art opening tonight, Taylor… something suddenly came up!” Man, this turned into Invasion of the Puppet Masters so quickly, we almost didn’t see it coming!
Shoe: Maybe Madame Zoo Doo is doing a house call, since her blue-collar client is metaphorically (I hope!) chained to the counter both day and night?!?
Mary Worth: Man, that word balloon in Panel 2 is poorly positioned. Presumably Toby is speaking, but the implications of Sunny talking are far more ominous (and, therefore, better).
@CanuckDownSouth: I guess it’s just shocking that after all the ridiculousness of this storyline, only now do the Evansii show something realistic.
Broken clock and all that…
Gasoline Alley: As a longtime reader of this strip, I just have to express my genuine amazement at the fact that Rufus and Joel appear to have exited this storyline so quickly. Usually, when they show up, you can count on them hanging around for months, until you’re actually hoping for another “Kids talking to wild animals” story.
My amazement at their quick exit is surpassed only by my additional amazement at the fact that they dicked around with this guy’s electric car and didn’t A) destroy it, or B) cause a town-wide blackout.
@The Quiet Man:Luann: I thought this was already settled? Why are we back here?
Ok Fine. We’ll get to the Shannoning soon enough. For now, I’m fine with Ox’s happy tears. And the fact that the fostering org apparently takes more care with forever homes than foster homes?
Mary Worth: This whole story line made no sense to me since birds aren’t this effective at being little bastards all the time, all on their own. But what if Toby is actually controlling it through demonic possession. Finally, she can treat that pompous ass Ian like she always wanted to, and blame the bird. She doesn’t keep it despite its destroying things Ian loves, she keeps it because it’s a slave to her will. She named it ‘Sunny’ to throw everyone off the scent. But deep inside, Sunny is enraged. God help Toby if she ever loses the controlling link.