EXCITING CAT DEVELOPMENTS
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Gil Thorp, 2/19/26
Oh, it turns out that Keri Thorp was one of the kids who vandalized Goshen and now they’re in jail and Gil is pissed … at the cops, who used to have a strict “no arresting teens for a little tit-for-tat spray-painting” rule, or maybe just a little “no arresting Thorps for any reason” rule, but now Coach Gerads (first name: “Mitchell,” I think this is a new addition to the lore) is insisting that the local PD “enforce the law” or whatever. Next thing you know they’ll make their deputies wear actual uniforms rather than kicky star-festooned shirts, no matter how mildly injured their legs are!
Mary Worth, 2/19/26
You’re excited that, after literal years of “pets are good” storylines in Mary Worth, Mary herself is finally going to get a pet for real this time. I’m retreating to my mind palace to imagine the moment when Dr. Jeff’s son Drew came back from the golf course with his buddy and his buddy’s cat. “Oh no!” thinks Jeff. “How can I be polite to my son’s friend but still maintain my comfort in my own home?” But then he finds out the cat is a hypoallergenic Balinese, and he realizes he’s not having any kind of allergic reaction to it, and a smile crosses his face. We are not the same.
Hi and Lois, 2/19/26
There is a sexist double standard for women in public life — politics, corporate leadership, what have you — where if they’re too nice they’re a wimp who doesn’t belong in power and if they’re not nice enough they’re a ballbuster. The shorthand for this is “likeability,” and it’s a genuinely fraught issue that puts ambitious women in a spot where they just can’t win. Dot actually is unlikeable, though, as I think this strip pretty conclusively demonstrates.
101 replies to “EXCITING CAT DEVELOPMENTS”
Pluggers: I call shenanigans. The concept of “leftovers” doesn’t exist in PluggerWorld. Besides, no plugger would not eat the spoiled leftovers. They keep forgetting about the last time they were sick as a dog when they ate spoiled leftovers. Incipient dementia can be a bitch.
Six Chix: What the holy Hell? Six weeks ago, Thursday’s Chix must have taken saw that talking margarine commercial while taking some serious mushrooms before sitting down to draw this strip.
Crankshat – Nothing like injecting buttcrack into the story. Is that the same guy from a couple of days ago who stuck his head into the doghouse like he was Jim Fowler on Wild Kingdom?
Dot spews chunks of white bread along with her bitter insult.
MW-I think we all know what “golf buddy” implies.
MW-Follow ‘Mary Worth’ for more medical advice.
Six Chix-“Wait a minute. This isn’t Tuesday Chix’s room.”
Gil Thorp-Josh, I’ll take you at your word that Gil is pissed because the art doesn’t show it.
@ A Grave Mind from yesterday – Yes, I strayed too close to politics, but I just can’t resist a good couch-fucking joke regardless of which party it’s aimed at. And congratulations to you for getting that message into post 169.
Gil Thorp:
“Deputy Chang, how’s the leg?”
“Whose leg?”
H&L: When you wish upon a sandwich, no matter how empty it seems… When you wish upon a sandwich, you might have your dreams.
Josh, you’ve misunderstood the sequence in Gil Thorp, which is easy to do. The lady in the purple, star spangled shirt is his fiance, whom he’s walking in with in the first panel. He’s talking to the deputy in the blue shirt and black tie in that panel, even though he’s standing with her. It’s confusing, but when viewed the right way, makes a sort of linear sense. The art really is terrible, and choosing to have the dialogue stretch over several panels is a very odd choice.
Gil Thorp:
“I see she’s whiling away the time playing a one-person card game, Officer.”
“Well, she’s in solitaire-y confinement!”
MW: “You should get a PET, Mary. You can share your laughable achievements with the PET. Then, the PET can take you on interminable dates and tell you how wonderful you are! And if I actually had a pair, I would just outright dump you!”
DtM: “How about something your new foster mom cooks?”
SF: The fact that Ralph doesn’t break his beer bottle and finish Ted off is a huge disappointment.
MW: The key to taking pets golfing is to make sure they’re hypoallergenic.
Mary Worth:
“Mary, Drew brought home a golf buddy with his cat last week, and I had no reaction! — of course, I never have a reaction to Drew.”
JP Close! But actually, blame the writer who desperately needs to shoehorn you into an action-star role
Hi and Lois:
Look at the size of Dot’s fingers in today’s second panel — does she have elephantiasis?
Gil Thorp: I’m curious to learn if this Mitchell Gerads is named after comic book artist Mitch Gerads!
Mary Worth:
Dr. Jeff has the look of David Janssen’s “The Fugitive” in today’s first panel. Of course, he should be running from present company.
GT: Plot twist: it’s the MILF Sheriff’s Department.
GT ‘Why is this happening?” is a question thst really should be asked in the middle of every Gil Thorp strip, even if the answer just demands more questions.
MT “And I had no reaction! Of course, I barely react to anything that happens to me, good, bad or otherwise. I’m just not that developed as a character…”
H&L Yeah, the best thst Ditto can aspire to is being part of a 90s canadian alt-rock band and not a very good one…
Pluggers: The teenaged descendants of Pluggers often fart in their food containers.
Luann: Okay, Evans, we get it. You were suuuuuuuuuuuuch a nice guy in high school, and you totally would have gotten that cheerleader, if she would juuuuuuuuuuuuust have given you a chance. Why don’t you have a seat over there?
CS: Why isn’t Crankshaft interacting with the TV show hosts? Did he finally die off-panel, and the show is finishing his project in memoriam? I’ll forgive this arc if Saturday’s strip is Pam and Jeff repurposing the doghouse as a columbarium for Ed’s ashes.
Also CS: Yes, “Roofy”, it’s a doghouse. Because you accepted a job from the TV show “This Old Doghouse.”
GG: Boy, that Gertie sure loves NASCAR!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Yeah, judging by the coloring, that’s Tom Silva’s buttcrack.
You know, I always felt that the “Hey, did Batiuk even ask PERMISSION for this celebrity cameo!?” sentiment was excessive, but… using it to portray the guy as a fat buffoon with a gross buttcrack?…
MW: I don’t know if it’s more incredible that Drew figured his father was stupid enough to believe that Drew’s boyfriend was just a “golfing buddy” who brought along his cat for golf, or that Jeff bought it hook, line, and sinker.
@pugfuggly: So… Red Rider? Or is that too 1980s?
MW: When did Moy and Brigman become cowards? They made us witness pets doing yoga. I demand to see a cat on the green, club in paws, putting.
@Anonymous: I’m shocked no one has ever sued Tom Batiuk for his blatant, insulting, not-fair-use-in-any-manner-whatsoever depictions of real people and Marvel/DC superheroes.
H&L – Dot is precociously aware of the underlying misogyny in the American electorate and knows it will be at least 3 decades before they are ready to elect a woman president.
So, okay, let me wrap my head around this– Drew invites “Golf Buddy” to hang out with him and his dad. Golf Buddy’s like, “Great, we’ll play 18 holes at Dullgrass, quick BLT at the clubhouse, we swing by my place to pick up Freckles, and then we’ll be at your dad’s by 2”, and Drew just… missed the third thing on that list? I guess that’s what happens when you’re Jeff’s kid; you kinda lose interest six words in and just start nodding, debilitating allergies be damned.
MW: Keep the cat in the bedroom. Problem solved.
“My friend brought a hypoallergenic cat, that is, one that doesn’t trigger allergies, home and my allergies didn’t flare up. Clearly this means my allergies are gone and my girlfriend can bring home a cat of any kind. I understand logic and reasonable conclusions.”
Today’s Pardon My Planet caused me to reflect on when was the last time I saw a female news anchor in a suit jacket. More likely to be wearing a cocktail dress or low-cut blouse.
JP: If Marciuliano so desperately wants this strip to be a spy thriller, why is he allergic to actually showing us action? Does Manley refuse to draw it, and that’s why we’re stuck listening to characters talk about it after the fact?
You guys, “Drew’s golf buddy took his cat over to Drew’s father’s house” is far more inexplicable if they are having sex.
GT: So did Gerads actually provide any proof of the graffiti allegations, or did he just say ‘arrest those three nonwhite/nonheterosexuals!’ because he knew those three are apples in Thorp’s eye and the cops thought ‘Hot Dog!’ I know which my money’s on.
RMMD: Don’t you mean ‘champeen-ship’?
@CanuckDownSouth: …while pointedly never actually showing you engaging in any action!
MW: Hey, Intern!! Get a move on – things are poppin’ on the Pet for Mary project!! We’re gonna need a hypoallergenic Cat ASAP!! Do we need to sweeten the offer for Cleo, the hairless Sphinx? Find out what she wants – maybe throw in an exfoliation package. And check on other breeds that may be eligible… or if shaving is an option… Oh, and golf skills may be a plus. Yes, you heard me…
@Lauralot: Showing action would take away from having the characters pontificate about how Life is Brutal and quip about how much they hate each other.
@Baja Gaijin: re: Six Chix, I assume she saves her holiday stick of butter from year to year and it’s finally turned toxic.
@The Quiet Man: GT: Yesterday’s strip indicated there’s security video footage evidence (or the cops are lying about having such evidence).
Mary Worth: Sure, Mary may be getting a pet. But me? I’m off to get a PET. The doctors are determined to find out why my brain makes read this drivel.
Also Mary Worth: In the moonlight, a tall silhouette emerges. The only details discernible in the shadows are a white eyepatch and a pissy frown. “Stay out of banal medical details if you know what’s good for you,” the man rumbles. “That’s my turf.” As he slips away through the dunes, a faint twang of roots country music echoes across the beach.
Hi and Lois: Wimp, ballbuster, likeable, not likeable, it’s all good as long as you’re keeping your gym shoe firmly on Ditto’s neck.
Sadly, Dot is probably right that it will take another 30-50 years before America is ready for its first female president.
Chix (sic): I guess we all have holiday Last Tango moments we’d like to forget.
Gil Thorp – If you’ve ever seen the movie A Scanner Darkly, the people in this strip all appear to be in some version of a scramble suit. Beth is looking particularly Cro-Magnon today, and Sgt. Chang looks like a thumb.
Also, when was Keri arrested before? Granted, I’ve tuned out of GT heavily since the new artist started, but before that, I was reading as far back as the soda box bikini and Clambake* era…
*Original Clambake, not Clambake 2.0
Curtis: Annnnndddd, the one who finally snapped and punched out the bullies is….
Curtis? Nope.
Chutney? Nope.
Everyone else in the crowd?
Well played. Take a golden otter out of petty cash.
GA: “Boo! Don’t come back! You cause a chokepoint in long lines!” He must be fun on the freeway at merge points.
Mark Trail: Well, Rusty found a genuine wild creature to take a pic of, and he’ll do that and go right back, no harm no foul, right? Right? Right?
Crankshaft: “You called me out here for this? I could be charging ridiculous rates for slipshod workmanship on an actual house at this moment!”
Marvin: No smart-alec commentary from Marvin or jokes about his filled diapers this time, just the ever present open resentment his parents have for each other. Comics!
God frowned. He had gotten this close to taking out Dr. Jeff with the Universal Hole Punch, but missed.
Okay, okay, Karen Moy, you’ve got me interested. Show us to this odd golf buddy of Drew’s who brings his cat to other people’s houses. It’s been a few months since you’ve introduced us to a brand new weirdo and the regular cast can’t do all of the heavy lifting of not acting like real people.
Gil Thorp: Deputy Chang isn’t a deputy sheriff, she’s a Deputy Wizard! That’s why she’s wearing a cool wizard robe.
She wears her pharmacist’s coat over it because she can fill your prescription… for justice!
My Gil Thorp fanfiction isn’t for everyone, but it’s definitely rooted in the strip’s visual lore.
@Terry Rhoden: MT: Aha! It is scorpions, exactly as I predicted!
For my next psychic feat… wait, it’s becoming clearer… Rusty will be stung!
Roofy’s, a.k.a. Crankshaft, suggests someone whose side hustle is going to get his mugshot on the evening news.
@CanuckDownSouth: Oh, then my money’s on said ‘security video evidence’ turning out to be some AI-created deepfake because Gerads is just *that* determined to stick it to Thorp by sticking it to three innocent minorities. Maybe Bajaras will win ‘Hot Button Issue’ blackout Bingo this time!
@Ace: … if Man is still alive…
GT: I think Gil is more “resigned” than “pissed”.
“Welp. Kid got arrested again. Gotta take an hour out of my busy schedule to throw my Lord God Coach Authority around”.
(When I saw the Bad Coach’s name is Mitchell, I thought of the MST3K favorite starring Joe Don Baker)
MW: “Allergic reactions to cats can sometimes reduce with age.” I assume Mary is referring to the cat’s aging, since none of the people at Charterstone are allowed to age.
H&L: Excuse me, Dot, but there’s no evidence race car drivers need to be of even average intelligence.
GT: I asked my court administrator wife what would happen in this instance and she said that letters (summons) would be sent to the offenders house to appear in court mainly so the parents would see a letter from the police, or the police might deliver the letter in person but only to put the fear of god in the kids and explain clean-up costs they might be asked to pay, or the kids might be asked to show up to the police station with their parents to pick up the summons, or…
My wife has just spent a solid half-hour explaining how every scenario could play out but the gist is: no way the kids would be arrested. Arresting minors is a huge deal involving juvenile courts, lawyers, advocates, etc and is not warranted for a petty crime.
FYI, She added that spray painting racial slurs would elevate it from simple vandalism (misdemeanor) to a hate crime.
@UncleJeff: Same. It’s one of those names I can’t take seriously anymore because of the associations (see also: “Kermit,” “Mickey,” “Adolf”).
“My my my my GOOOOOOOD!”
GT: Why is Deputy Chang dressed like that? Is she doing an undercover sting operation at a LuLaRoe party?
MW: You would think Jeff, being a doctor and all, would know that there’s immunotherapy treatments for a lot of allergies now, and they tend to be very effective. That he hasn’t bothered indicates he’s still not completely on board with drinking the “pets are nice” Kool-Aid the strip is peddling.
“Mary, Drew brought home his Balinese “golf” buddy with a cat last weekend and I had no reaction.”
Moy couches Jeff’s language in code to not confuse her younger readers.
Is Dot an optimist, because she thinks she has the chance to win a victory for herself and all women? Or is she a cynic, who thinks that by the time she is 35 — AT LEAST three decades into the future — the US voters will not have elected any woman president?
GT – Not even avant-garde word-balloon placement can redeem this dreck. (I’m going to assume Josh was just riffing on it, not genuinely confused. After all, he’s keeping track of the “lore”!)
MW – “You shoulda heard that Balinese cat play the reyong! He was cookin’! And the feline was nice too.”
H&L – Yes, it would be depressing if Dot is wishing that there will be no female President of the United States until she’s 35 years old. But she didn’t specify president of what. But it’s also depressing if her elementary school has never had a female class president.
What was Dr Drew’s friend doing at the golf course with a cat? Getting rid of golf course mice?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Don’t cry. Here, buy more ice cream”
“That’s very generous of you”
“Well, I recognize that these kids are a lot like me”
“How so?”
“They’re all future CEOs”
[Sign: ICE CREAM]
C’shaft: Protip: If you’re doing a week’s worth of strips based on the concept, “This Old House, but for doghouses”….well, first, rethink the idea because that’s a single-panel gag at best, but if you do go through with it you probably shouldn’t have a character show up and say, in effect, “You know, this whole thing is kind of stupid.”
Dustin: “Or, you know, it could be late-stage heart failure. My money’s on that.”
FG: Well to be fair, Briklin, this is on you for bringing your son into the discussion. I mean, I’m not saying that Ming wouldn’t seek out your closest relations in any case, but you didn’t need to hand him up on a silver platter like that.
Luann: “Your pants are getting wet!” “That’s okay, the rest of me is also wet” just rocketed up towards the top of “Conversations I Never, Ever Wanted to Hear From Luann Characters.”
@Ettorre: Optimist, because she’s still assuming the United States will still be an intact and functional democracy by the time she’s old enough to run for President.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!:
Sid! I must congratulate you on casting Pablo. He’s a terrific actor who can go from happy to menacing like a mafia thug asking you “How am I funny? Funny how?”
Now Pablo was waiting for his cue and scrolling through his phone when he saw Mary and Dr Jeff and he had an idea. He wants to ask you if you can swing it so he makes an appearance* on the pier and knocks both of them into the ocean. Since absolutely nobody else ever walks on it ever there’s no risk of injury to innocents, and I’m sure Mary and Dr Jeff have insurance for such eventualities. What do you say? Wouldn’t it spice up the strip no end?
*He can imitate a feral pig with only minimal makeup, and besides it’ll be dark.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Absolutely nothing political about that comment. The only people who can deem it so are those who somehow take it personally…for some reason
The Gil Thorp storyline seems to be heading in the direction of “Can you believe these kids are facing consequences for their actions? Outrageous!”
@Boo:
Next thing you know Gil is going to have to earn a living by doing actual coaching!
Jeff, Jeff. The problem has never been you being allergic to Mary’s pussy, but Mary’s pussy being allergic to you!
Waiting for a Hi & Lois/Gearhead Gertie crossover strip.
Let’s be honest – research this at your local golf pro shop – ain’t too many “golf buddies” who travel around with their cat.
There are some tricks to fight allergies and other autoimmune diseases, such as willingly taking a parassite to keep your immune system busy. Lawyer’s disclaimer: don’t take any medical advice from your favourite comics snarking website! Though if you did take medical advice from your favourite comics snarking website, you’d deserve what you got!
I assume Deputy Chang is supposed to be Chinese, but they used an Indonesian as a model.
Next up: a Greek Cypriot used as photo reference for a Norwegian.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Strange of you to assume the current Gil Thorp artist is using human FACES as references. Rather than, you know, TOES and THUMBS.
(I’m saying the characters’ pudgy heads make them look like big toes and/or thumbs)“Allergies are weird, Mary. You know we raised an entire generation of kids to be allergic to nuts because our paranoia made us remove them from all environments instead of gradually exposing the children to them and building an immunity?”
“So you are saying that kids were faking it for attention?”
“No, allergies are still real and they are very dangerous…”
“Faking it, I knew it!”
CS: I sure hope Tom Silva doesn’t read the funny pages. I’m not sure how I’d react if I were suddenly in a comic strip, mooning people.
“Maybe you lost your allergies with age. Just like you lost your virile vigour”
“I did not lost it, you cut my balls!”
MW: “Turns out I don’t have an allergic reaction to animals that naturally don’t cause allergic reactions!”
“Deputy Chang, how’s the leg?”
“I’m still walking. It’s something”
“Indeed, it’s something. You wouldn’t want it to be nothing”
“Uh?”
“I’m saying, there could be consequences if you do not release my daughter soon, capisce?!”
Gil Thorp: I’m starting to get the vibe that school sports coaches are the mob bosses of the town of Milford. Presumably this conflict will therefore escalate when Gil wakes up to find Marty Moon’s decapitated head in his bed.
Hi And Lois: Dot wants to be the FIRST female president specifically, which obviously means that she wants every other woman in the country to fail at becoming president until her term so she can get all the praise. Ergo, Dot is a misogynist and this is a callout post. #DotIsCancelled.
@Ettorre: And we have a winner for Scratchy’s “69 of the week” award.
HL: What would make this truly depressing would be if this were a re-run from, oh, 35 years ago.
I wonder what “Gearhead Gertie” would say if she saw Michael Jordan holding the Daytona 500 winner’s trophy on Sunday?
(NASCAR is the only sports organization that could make MJ look like a plucky underdog fighting for others)
Dot actually is unlikeable, though, as I think this strip pretty conclusively demonstrates.
I don’t know that actual unlikeability sets Dot apart from the rest of the characters here. I mean the only likeable character in the Walker verse is Zero.
Goshen High. I can only pronounce as Gaawsh-en
I expect that the arc will end with Disney shutting the school down, because they used Goofy as their mascot.
Gil Thorp: Oh yes the whole “It’s the police’s fault for arresting them” mindset…
The comic pages set the bar lower and lower for how much I can hate these characters.
MW:
June shuffled into the kitchen and was heading for the coffee when she stopped short at the sight of an enormous bouquet of red roses. “Where did THESE come from?” she asked, bending into the blooms to inhale their fragrance.
From the couch on the far side of the living room, Karen looked up and responded, “Sid.”
“Do you mean Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!? Why would Sid be sending–Karen, are you and Sid SEEING each other?” June smiled slyly as she carried her mug of coffee into the living room. “How long has THIS been going on?”
“Don’t be silly, Sid and I are just exploring future storylines featuring his clients. The roses are his way of encouraging me to write his hairless Sphinx client, Cleo, into our next story.”
“So the roses are just a bribe, then? That’s disappointing. I think you and Sid would hit it off.”
“Well, frankly, I’m a little put out with him at the moment. I let him convince me that Mary should consider a pet, and the next thing I know I’m writing in hypoallergenic cats who play golf with Dr. Jeff’s son’s golfing buddy. The readers are confused. They don’t know if it’s Jeff’s son’s friend’s cat who is Balinese, or Jeff’s son’s friend. Have you ever drawn a Balinese cat?”
“Hmmm. Yes, I think so. They’re like Siamese, only fluffier, aren’t they?” June sipped her coffee. “You mentioned a hairless Sphinx named Cleo?”
“Well, SID did. He’s putting on the full-court press. Besides those roses, there’s a box of chocolates on the counter.”
June was impressed. “He must have spent a fortune!”
Karen shrugged. “I think he got everything on a post-Valentine’s Day discount. But the problem is, our readers are now EXPECTING Mary to get a cat, and that raises all sorts of issues.”
June had started to take a sip of coffee, but stopped. “I see what you mean. Wilbur’s no good with cats, parrots are no good with cats, and then there’s…the box.”
“What box?”
“The CAT BOX. I can’t draw a cat box.”
“Well, ick, why would you want to?”
June sighed. “Don’t you remember when Mary made a casserole or something and all our readers thought it looked like a cat box? Well, I went back to the drawing board and dammit, they were RIGHT! It DID look like a cat box. And one that needed changing, besides. So unless Mary’s new cat shits in a baked casserole, I don’t see how we’re going to solve that problem.”
Karen frowned, thinking. “Maybe hairless Sphinx cats don’t defecate…?” she offered, a hopeful tone in her voice.
June brightened. “Well, gosh, if Balinese cats can play golf…! The main thing is, they’re hypoallergenic, so they shouldn’t bother Jeff’s allergies. That’s a relief, because I don’t want to draw Jeff sneezing almost more than I don’t want to draw Cleo crapping in a casserole.”
“Speaking of allergies,” Karen said, as June headed back to the kitchen for a refill, “dump those damn flowers, wouldja? I can’t breathe with those things in here.”
“What about the chocolates?”
“Them, too. I gave up candy for Lent.”
Hard times for Heroes
– JP: Wanna be hero Randy is put out into the snow so he can see how he would fare if he escaped. Real hero April on snowmobile saves him.
– FG: so how is Bok gonna save this guy without blowing his own cover? Real question: had Briklin been able to kill Ming tho a dozen innocent people also died, should he have?
– PHANTOM: Hero Patrolwoman Han finds it’s easier to have nice teeth than keep nice teeth.
LUANN: So far in this arc, emotionally insecure Tiff has seen Ox
– as someone who wants to be around her
– as someone who makes her feel protected
– as someone willing to be silly to help a beloved pet
She ought to be reassessing her opinion of him. But will she? Nah. Not until she hears a window crash
S4th: some therapists teach clients to use “I” language. There must be a Ted Forth exception.
MW –
“Enjoy your Spaghetti Balinese, Jeff!”
“You mean Spaghetti Bolognese, right?”
“Sure.”
@Baja Gaijin:
#1. 6CX: the bell strikes midnight. Stroke appears.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
#2. CS: Buttcrack! So that’s the link that connects readers of Crankshaft with an NPR audience. Thanks.
Pluggers: I call foul. No self-respecting plugger would pay for Tupperware. It’s recycled margarine and Cool Whip tubs all the way.
I take my hypoallergenic cat with me whenever I go — golfing, horseback riding, a day at a sandy beach — always at the ready to smugly prove that no you aren’t allergic! you never were! or maybe you’re just old now! to any hapless soul I might meet.
Hi and Lois: Dot and Ditto’s parents also like him best — seeing as she was given a bread sandwich that’s literally nothing but bread, while his had a few drops of chocolate sauce messily dripped into the middle. Heck, his glass of lukewarm seltzer probably even has a hint of raspberry flavoring.
Mary Worth: There’s nothing like a cat to bring excitement to a long-term relationship that’s getting stale! Now they can have conversations like, “So Mary, how’s your new cat?” “Eh, fine.”
Pluggers: Dear pluggers — if “something smells funny,” sorry, it’s you. But that’s better than not being funny at all, sort of!
@MKay:
#10. MW: someone warn the animal shelter quick!
MT: Mom, Dad, I found where they dump all the dead hookers!
CS: Speaking of which, a cable sketch comedy show from the early 90s did a much better spoof of “This Old House”, called “This Old Whorehouse”.
GT: I remember when Gil was the de facto law enforcement and ruling body of the town. In this Thorpverse, the town’s chief manufacturing export are knock-off vinyl disks.
GT: It’s too bad the Milford Three are in Westview. Bill Clinton would drop everything to spring them and they’d go to Montoni’s for a Totino’s Party Pizza party.
@Activist: #88:
“Real hero April on a snowmobile saves him”
But not before she bests a polar bear in hand to hand combat.
*Aren’t* in Westview.
H&L: Good luck, Dot. Assuming we’ll still have elections in thirty years. Or now, even.