The whackest place to live in America, maybe
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/11/26
OK, there’s two things that could be going on here. The first is that we’re meant to understand that Hootin’ Holler is one of the proposed wackiest places to live in America, which, no! No!! It’s poor and depressing and violent! That’s not wacky at all! The other possibility is that the gag writer just thought of the idea of a “wackiest places to live in America” list to serve as a counterpoint to the well-trod territory of the best places to live list, and decided that Snuffy hearing about this idea that certainly isn’t a joke and can barely be called a premise was good enough for a Saturday strip and then moved on with their life. Honestly, I respect the second one more.
Mary Worth, 4/11/26
“Mary has immediately begun to use her new pet to serve as a sounding board for her to workshop what she thinks is the best possible spin on her meddling,” is, I guess, not a huge surprise. Anyway, I just want to say now and for the record that it’s possible for an older man to have a perfectly good relationship with his children and to fall in love with a fake internet babe and send her lots of money! I feel like sending lots of money to a hot girl you met online is not necessarily something you check in with your kids about, even if you love them and speak to them regularly! The correlation here is not causation!
Family Circus, 4/11/26
The movies? Why would Billy want to do that when he could keep reading about The City of Brotherly Love, America’s silliest town! Eagles fans pelting Santa Claus with batteries … the MOVE bombing … that innocent robot they murdered … it’s all very silly and Billy simply can’t get enough!
67 replies to “The whackest place to live in America, maybe”
Perhaps he meant to say the “Whackest,”…yo? The “Wiggety Wiggety Whackest” can follow next week!
FC:
“Give me that ‘Silly Philly’ book!”
“No way! — you can read ‘Rantin’ Scranton,’ ”Leery Erie,’ or ‘Dreading Reading’ !”
Even the cover doesn’t look silly at all, it looks like this book should be all about oats. Which seems kinda highbrow for Billy.
MW:
“They can find their way back to each other again! — well, until she founds out that he blew most of what would otherwise be her inheritance on that ersatz Jezebel!”
“Muffin, I was trying to help!” straight-up sounds like Mary got called to the carpet on this. So Muffin is sentient. And disapproving. This tracks. Now she just needs to use her telekinetic powers to fix football games, as sentient cats do.
RMMD: My theory right now is Mr. Mustache from the diner (who may or may not be Rene Belluso) is involved in some nefarious business. Gun running, drug running, counterfeit jeans running, take your pick. Anyway, Fatso here is going to uncover it and be forced to use all the athletic skills she learned being an ‘international action movie star’ to put them out of business so they no longer threaten the new home she’s made for herself as a simple, down-home diner waitress.
Mr. Mustache will say ‘NOW I know where I’ve seen you!’ as he gets a roundhouse kick to the face.
The trouble is, Beatty hadn’t figured out what that nefarious business was before he went in for surgery and thus couldn’t leave those instructions for the guest artists, hence this wheel-spinning about ‘You two grew up in the same town?! A-MAY-zing!’
DT: Mr. Tare, you realize that BB Eyes was a run of the mill bootlegger, Mumbles a failed musician whose shtick was he managed to drown twice, and I don’t know what the hell Double Up’s deal was. You ain’t exactly dealing with the Dirty Dozen here, or even the A-Team.
GT: Well, I guess nearly seeing the world come to an end last week stiffened the spine of the syndicate sufficiently to let these strips which were clearly held back and nearly canceled run.
@A Grave Mind: On MW – hey, I got that reference! Yeah, where’s General Harry Morgan when you need him? He’d whip Har-vee into shape right quick!
FC: Billy doesn’t quite understand it but he finds the whole brotherly love thing intriguing.
Snuffy Smith: I’m pretty sure that TV signals move through the air exactly the same way as radio signals do, so Snuffy could just as well be watching a sitcom as listening to some morning-zoo disc jockey’s “weird news” on the radio and wondering what happened to The National Barn Dance. Heck, he could probably sell his antique radio on eBay for the price of a big-screen TV — assuming wifi signals could reach Hootin’ Holler as well.
Family Circus: Surely these kids have the Disney Channel. They could see all the “doubleheaders” they want to for $12 a month — although they’d probably just watch Zootopia 2 over and over until Mommy considered taking a bat to the TV screen.
FC “But wouldn’t it be more fun to read up about the 10 wackiest cities to live in the USA? I’m already at #6 – Philadelphia!”
@The Quiet Man:
Oh, thank God, there’s one at least, I was NOT looking forward to trying to explain that.
Aaaaaand NOW I read the headline. Shit, way to steal a joke, self. It’s gonna be a bad day.
Snuffy Smith : “And a surprising, tantalizing fun fact : it is the first time in several decades that Walla Walla, Washington is on BOTH lists!”
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Dick Tracy : Yeah, sure, a full frontal assault on a police station that occurs AFTER they’ve been put on high alert by a clearly coordinated attack on the city. Using only three guys. Who’s skills are “good at using a whip (because squeamish pacifist)”, “can’t speak clearly” and…. Whatever the hell B.B. Eyes can do. “Be forgettable”?
************
Family Circus vs Heart of the City : Another Silly Philly bit : anime fandom is so rabid there that the reaction to Not-Sailor Moon’s english dub voice actress is such that a little girl says “Wow! When *I* become a famous actress, I’m hiring at least two dozen bodyguards to follow me at all times!”
I wonder if there is a significance to the fact that Heart seems to be dressed as Not-Jupiter and Kat as Not-Mars. The former would be “I’m a tough, tomboyish brunette who wears her hair in a ponytail, and also I’m the same height as she is canonically (I checked), I assume.***************
Mary Worth : Speaking of huge surprises, it was sure nice of Mary Worth to soften the blow by not telling Sharon how much money her father had blown being taken in by a scammer. And by “soften the blow”, I mean “if you were trying to build a crescendo to make the reveal all the more upsetting, you wouldn’t do anything differently”.
BGSS: The overuse of contractions suggests that the broadcast is coming from Hootin’ Hollar itself, but does anyone in town actually have a transmitter? The other possibility is that that’s Lukey in the next room, yelling through a hole in the wall and into the back of an old radio Snuffy found by the creek.
MW: So I guess that it’s not enough for Mary to recap every storyline with Dr Jeff at the end, we now have to pause mid-plot for Mary to summarize events to her cat. I know that the median reader for this strip isn’t young, but it feels a bit rude to assume they’re in the mid-stages of dementia.
FC: Oh Dolly, you know that Billy can’t enjoy the movie theater since they put his head on backwards.
MW Muffin, I was trying to help! Why didn’t you tell me you were running the romance scam business and didn’t *want* Harv’s family to come investigate?!
RMMD: “Truck’s finger scare was front page news!”
LOCKHORNS: Did Loretta look into obtaining an AI punching bag?
FC: Is a silly town the same as a wacky town or is another list required?
MW: Mary is somehow intimidated by Senor Cravat. She was terrified when he blew up, and now she’s seeking validation from the cat. Is the old girl losing her moxie?
FC – we must assume that this is a recycled joke from many decades ago. First, I don’t think I’ve seen a double feature offered for a very long time. I think they went out with Dennis’ saddle shoes. And second, given that Daddy Keane isn’t that fond of his progeny’s antics, it seems unlikely that he’d want to deal with them for the minimum four hours of squirming and chattering this will take.
Silly Philly is a cartoon character Bil Keane created, pre-Family Circus. “What the heck–kids love legacy characters or IP or whatever you call them.”–Jeff Keane
MW: Should we be concerned that Mary thinks a father/daughter relationship is a more than equivalent substitute for a sexual relationship?
RMMD – “we’ve had some locals here make a headline or two. Not long ago some wag swapped out the motel’s regular pillows for corduroy ones. SO MANY headlines. Plus it tanked our TripAdvisor rating…”
RMMD: motel guy is clearly stoned. Will Mae Mae find the cannabis garden?
MW: Gotta say, in this situation Mary’s FORMER cat—the gray one—wouldn’t have been so complacent as just to cosy up adoringly and give out with a MEOW of understanding agreement. That gray cat would have taken a principled stand and scratched her, but good.
I feel like the art here was originally used for a different joke (or rather, a joke at all), considering Dolly is holding out her outstretched hand with her fingers separated as though she was originally saying something involving the number five.
@lynn: MW: Should we be concerned that Mary thinks a father/daughter relationship is a more than equivalent substitute for a sexual relationship?
No. We should be concerned that MOY thinks that.
RMMD:
“My goodness — you’d need a sherpa guide to help scale that pompadour, Doug!”
MT “Surrender your claim” to the land? Do you mean “sell at market rate to the company that will make its own profits from the land? Or does Mark Trail exist in a world where the territory-incorporating land rushes never stopped??
That sounds like a really interesting project. I’ve always been fascinated by the history of newspaper comics.
Innocent, my foot. Hitchbot was a narc who got what it deserved.
FC: “Silly Philly,” subtitled “Oh, Behave” a book about the flamboyant quakers of early America.
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: If Doug is into headlines, he should visit the family in Six Chix. Each one is reading their own personal copy of How to Make Your Legs Go All Stripey.
@A Grave Mind: I have a deep fondness for that movie. Col. Blake and Col. Potter in the same film.
Family Circlejerk – I hope the Silly Philly book mentions the Fuck Millie sign.
Spam alert #26
Phantom: “As you can see, she’s a mouthy little twit. I was hoping to get her murdered.”
RMMD-“Rex Morgan Kills Again” isn’t something you should be proud of.
MW-Mary, did you tell Sharon that her father was scammed?
FC-“Alright,” Billy exclaims, “I’m finally old enough to see an adult film.”
MW: “…trying to help! …not even be real!”
MEOW!
“…misses her father! …back to each other again!”
MEOW!
Seems that Muffin has brought home a nasty case of “bangorrhea” from the pound.
Pickles – Is Earl saying his daughter is plenty moist?
MW: It’s times like this, that I’m glad that my elderly Uncle does not have a mobile phone nor the knowledge of how they work. (Living in a rural podunk in the middle of nowhere helps too)
Because he would fall for every scam that comes his way.
The Far Side today has my all-time favorite – Washington crossing the street.
I’m surprised to learn the Smiff’s got ‘lectricity at home.
Between the wacky and silly towns and the big doings in Glenwood, it reminds me of the big news here that my hometown (Minneapolis) has received the honor of being allowed to pay big bucks to be in the Michelin guide.
Along with the ICE surge coming to Milford.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: “Mom will be late because of lemons,” eh? That bitch turned her old man and kid in, if you ask me.
“Tell him to get out of the car, then muss him up a little. There’s an extra twenty in it for you.”
BG&SS – 2027 – The 10 Shittiest Places in America: #1 Hootin’ Hollar, AR, #2 Santa Royale, CA, #3 Sillidelphia, PA….
MW – Can you crack the MW code today? Big Amount “Trixie” Meow Lonely Misses Can….
FC – I hope it’s the one with Ray Milland and Rosey Grier….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
FC: I hope it’s a screening of the Rosey Grier/Ray Milland classic, “The Thing with Two Heads”.
As an area of the United States that appears unchanged since the 1930s, Hootin’ Holler might be home to the first newly uncontacted people in the world. I don’t know if that counts as “wacky”, but it takes someone like Barney Google who dresses era-appropriately to safely visit this area. Some researches have tried sending in drones to record footage but those always end up getting shot down. Open your goo-goo-googly eyes and see that these people just want to be left alone, anthropologists! This is why the other sciences look down on you!
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Why “[MEOW]” and not “(Meow)”? It’s vocalization and it deserves a goddamned normal speech bubble!
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I don’t blame Dolly for being confused because a double feature in 2026?
@The Quiet Man: RE: RMMD: Yeah…no. Mostly because what you described sounds exciting and we all know “excitement” is the one “celebrity” that will never visit Glenwood. (ALSO LOL at Lorna/Mae Mae “roundhouse kicking” anyone. I mean the whole reason shes fat* is because she’d rather sit on he butt all day doing nothing than working out or doing any sort of activity. She’s an “action star” that hates doing any sort of action.
*By the way, did you know that Lorna/Mae Mae is FAT, which is the perfect cover, because once an actress becomes FAT, she’s virtually UNRECOGNIZABLE even if she does NOTHING ELSE to disguise herself in any way? It’s been said SO INFREQUENTLY in this arc, you might not have even noticed.
@Tabby Lavalamp: I was going to make a joke about MIT not even offing degrees in anthropology, but it turns out they do. I wonder if the anthropology majors ever get laid?
If there’s one useful thing Questionable Content has taught me over the years, it’s that human beans make round speech bubbles and AIs talk in boxes. Moy is leaving us broad hints that Muffin is a robot.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’ll walk on this side”
“How gallant of you!”
“No woman should be seen in public with a man who doesn’t look and act the proper gentleman”
“You mean like a filthy slob?”
And number one is Hootin Holler, where the tooth brush was invented. Had it been invented anywhere else it would be called a teeth brush. (tongue loll here)
@pugfuggly: Re: BGSS: I hope so. I think it’s nice that the men of Hootin Holler found another use for that hole in the wall….
MW: You were just trying to help? Look at your pet project, Wilbur Weston. If that isn’t a clue that you should stop helping, I don’t know what is.
I’m beginning to wonder whether Mary herself is the hidden mastermind in this pig-butchering scheme. She certainly seems to be trying very hard to prevent Harv or anyone close to him from having an actual realization of what’s going on. Presumably Dr. Jeff’s “humanitarian” visits to Vietnam are how she communicates her directives.
@BigTed: Wifi signals from where? I don’t get it.
MW: In the language of American comics, BOXES are always used for NARRATION, sometimes third person for clarity (“Meanwhile…”), sometimes first person commentary (“The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘Save us!’… and I’ll whisper ‘no’”). I interpret THIS as the latter. Muffin isn’t SAYING “meow”…or he’s NARRATING it like Rorschach’s journal…probably with the same sentiment.
Ah, yes, it is indeed amusing that these small children are not familiar with the term for the common and beloved 21st-c. activity of seeing two movies shown back-to-back on a single ticket
mary worth – will we ever see john long again or did ice pick him up in milford ?
Mary Worth: I’m surprised the strip doesn’t make better use of the fact that they have Olive, the magical child pet psychic, lurking in the background. Mary could call her right now and ask what it means when her cat’s captions are yellow! Is she in distress? Cowardly? That’s actionable information!
Family Circus: maybe they’re going to see the new remake of the movie Philadelphia. It’s about Gritty and his struggles with Fentanyl addiction.
Snuffy Smith: I do NOT like how the dog’s tail is drawn. Why does it look like a tentacle? Is the pup a mutant crossbred with octopi?
Mary Worth: Beginning to suspect that the entire Trixie situation is actually just the excuse Mary is using to try and force H@rvey and his daughter back into a more “traditional” relationship with one another. Which is the least surprising thing ever.
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: @a.: I’m guessing they dropped the original’s references to the newsreel, cartoon, and episode 8 of Flash Gordon.
@2+2=7: Oh, I know it’s incredibly unlikely that Fatso here would be roundhouse kicking anyone, but in these soap strips it’s a constant toss-up between ‘mind crushingly boring’ and ‘jaw droppingly unrealistic and stupid’. Every so often the latter wins.
Family Circus: Maybe they’re going to see the 1972 blaxploitation horror movie “The Thing with Two Heads”
@Charterstoned: Mary’s cat is made out of mood ring material, changing color to show its emotional state.
(If you could really genetically engineer that, you would make a fortune. “Don’t try to pet her when she’s turquoise, she’ll scratch.”)
@Mysterion: Rorschach would probably describe Charterstone and it’s culture as everything America should be. That is NOT a compliment.
@lynn:
@Charterstoned:
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DR. JEFF should be concerned that Mary thinks that.
Also probably Adrian.
FC- “A double header? You mean ‘Silly Philly’ blows two guys? Oh boys!”
FC: When was the last time movie theaters did “double features”? The only place you can find those anymore are drive-ins, and drive-ins themselves are a vanishing breed.
MW: I’m wondering if Dr. Jeff is in danger of being permanently replaced as Mary’s adoring audience. On the one hand, Muffin will never ask for her hand in marriage, or any physical contact more intimate than a kiss on the cheek. On the other, Muffin can’t pick up the tab at the Bum Boat and doesn’t have a yacht.
Barney Google & Snuffy Smith
Josh rightly focuses on the idea of Hootin’ Holler being on the second list, the one about about the wackiest places to live. The possibility that it could be on the first list, the one of best places to live, needs no examination and can be dismissed out of hand.