The rich are different (very dumb but also insulated from consequences)
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Mary Worth, 4/17/26
Oh, I’m sorry, did you think there were stakes to this storyline? Did you think that losing two hundred thousand American dollars might have some material impact on Harvey’s life? Well, sorry, chumps, this motherfucker’s got ascot money and the whole episode is just kind of embarrassing for him to admit to his daughter, and probably more for horniness reasons than monetary ones. You know what, I’m not just glad “Trixie” escaped the compound; I’m actively glad the money went to a Southeast Asia-based crime lord, who’s at least showing some business acumen by building the compound in the first place.
Andy Capp, 4/17/26
Flo has never really had much character development over the past seven decades beyond “sick of Andy’s bullshit,” so I think today’s strip represents a small victory for feminism, even if the characterization offered is “really smug about not exercising.”
Hagar the Horrible, 4/17/26
“He knows what you Vikings did to Yorkshire and the Shetland Islands — and he wants revenge.”
Blondie, 4/17/26
Notice how Blondie doesn’t recommend Dagwood invest time and energie in their marriage? I mean, what’s the point, really? Anyway, she’s got her Sudokus, so whatever.
79 replies to “The rich are different (very dumb but also insulated from consequences)”
MW:
“As long as you didn’t give her any money…”
“I did! A lot, in fact!”
“Well, then — you’re going to have to get used to ‘disappearing acts.’ Toodles, Pops!”
MW: I was lonely…so, technically it was your fault.
MW:
“Dad, who’s the lady on stilts who’s peering into the window, with her ear pressed to the glass?”
“Oh, that’s just that ‘Mary Worth’ person who called you!”
HtH:
From the looks of things, Hagar and that pooch go to the same grooming salon.
Luann: OBJECTION!! Counsel is claiming facts not in evidence!
AC: *Marmite* crisps!!?? That belongs on one of the Late Night Cuisines!
RMMD: But… but… she’s FAT now!! There was no more foolproof disguise in the world!!
JP: They haven’t entered the compound yet. They’re sitting at a traffic light about to turn into the compound, windows wide open (Bogdan doesn’t smell very nice, obviously), blathering loudly about ‘hiding a body’ and ‘not going back to prison’, and a cop in a patrol car is sitting right next to them, isn’t there?
Under Reg Smythe, “Andy Capp” used to be so British, it was sometimes incomprehensible to Yanks. Now, the syndicate occasionally remembers that they’re supposed to be in England, so they’ll toss in a word like “Marmite.”
AC: Bea is wondering why Flo turned her head for the second part of her response. (I’m calling her Bea for Blockage, because she’s not Flo.)
Andy Capp:
” ‘Marmite crisps,’ Flo? What else did you have with them? — say something to continue to confuse our American audiences!”
“Toad in the hole, followed by bangers and mash, with a side of bubble and squeak, topped off with some fairy cakes!”
HtH: “and all canine distemper! He’s not long for this world!”
MW “Nope! I didn’t learn a thing. In fact I just reupped my subscription to thst site and met another lovely young woman called ‘Deceptra’! She’s a former Olympic gymnast who’s really into old dudes with ascots!”
MW “But it wasn’t a mistake, I’m sure she really needed it, just for something other than what she was saying – I just wish she hadn’t been embarrassed and dropped contact”
“Well, as long as you’ve learned not to do this again…”
“Here, let me show you Fifi from SugarDaddiesEyeCandy.com, we’ve been chatting for a few days and she hasn’t asked for money and…”
“Ummm”
Maybe ascot-man should give some of that plenty to his daughter so she can buy something better than her 60s-era Star Trek uniform. Paging Nurse Chapel…
@The Quiet Man:
Luann: OBJECTION!! Counsel is claiming facts not in evidence!
The modbot ate my comment because I mispelled “social-ize”, but it has to be highlighted and repeated (assuming my comment comes back);
Bernice is studying psychology so she can diagnose the people around her as mentally ill so she can better insult them, which she has done plenty of times; she has never demonstrated an interest in psychology so she can understand others better, so she can social-ize better, and she has DEFINITELY never used it to counsel or help other people (least of which Luann).
MW: Sharon: ” You know what you need, Dad?
A dog!”
H: ” That’s a wonderful idea!” (promptly
falls into a puppy scam)
RMMD: When the paparazzi descend on Glenwood, their biggest challenge will be trying to get a shot without Truck and Mud photobombing.
LUANN: Bernice would be the psychologist who spends the entire session talking about HER issues. And, considering her penchant for bad boys, defense attorney wouldn’t be a wise choice either.
9CL: Merciful heaven, is there a lake, pool, pond or puddle that these people haven’t besmirched?
6Chix: “And here are your spoils! They belong to you now!”
MW — You know, I realize it’s Mary Worth and so H@rv-y’s profligacy will be a one-off, but IRL, he’s going to do the same thing again. And no adult child in this situation would shrug off her parent dropping 200 large on-line with a “at least you realize it was a mistake.”
I’m surprised Josh didn’t pick Judge Parker too, it goes perfectly with “the rich are dumb but insulated from consequences.” Anyway, I’ll forgive everything if this ends up with Ann being sent back to prison for parole violations. She’d really be better off there, it’s obvious her current health care doesn’t cover the psychiatric counseling and meds she so desperately requires.
MW: Sharon is saying “At least you realize it was a mistake,” but she’s thinking “Time to invoke that financial durable power of attorney.”
The readers of this blog might assume that Dagwood has finished Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad and found out about House of the Dragon and Better Call Saul but let’s consider the demographics of the author and readers. Dagwood has discovered another city got an NCIS spin-off
Nurse Chapel there has spent too much time on the Enterprise where she can just ask the ship’s LLM for whatever food she wants and it will come up with a facsimile that isn’t quite right but she won’t starve to death, so she can’t quite grasp that her already emaciated father won’t make it to Thanksgiving thanks to his horny gullibility.
@Ken: Drs. Jeff and Not-Jeff will be happy to sign off on the incapacitation order.
Jeez, Blondie has been working on that 3×3 Sudoku for a solid month.
I’m actually going to give “Hagar the Horrible” the benefit of the doubt and say that was actually probably an intentional part of the joke for readers who know their history – because as with Andy Capp and England, every once in a while they do remember it’s based on a real Viking and not just an even more violent version of “The Honeymooners”…
Hagar the Horrible: Hi, I’m Hagar, a Viking raider and titular character of this strip, and I’m tripping balls on Amanita Muscaria mushrooms. I’m so high I’ve lost all sense of time and place, my eyeballs are going in different directions, and I’m hallucinating gypsy women with “Shetland Short-Tempered” dogs. Welp, anyway, time to remove the threat with my sword!
Pluggers: Look, if you’re gonna make a “sun’s out, guns out” joke, give the guy some actual guns. I’m not saying Andy Bear has to be “fit” or “ripped” or anything, but at least make it look like he used to be!
MW: “SIGH…At least you REALIZE it was a MISTAKE!” —The End.
Next week: New Adventure! Fabiana visits Charterstone!
Mary Worth: “Dad, you need to be more careful with your money. Stick with the reputable mail-order bride services, like filipina.com, southeastwowsians, or OnlyFans.”
Blondie: Well Daisy should look alarmed. The yard! The garage! The attic! What about walking the dog? Will no one ever think of the obvious?!
Blondie:
I just noticed that Dagwood is wearing shoes while relaxing and watching TV. He’s even propping them up on the white ottoman! And I was going to say that a man prone to intense binge-eating shouldn’t have white furniture, but then I realized we never really see him eat while in front of the TV, except during the occasional sports-watching strips. Shoes indoors and on the furniture, no eating in front of the TV—Dagwood has strange boundaries, is what I’m saying.
MW – it’s all good if you can afford it. Most doctors devote around ten percent of their income to Thai lady boys….
Andy Capp – What – ya think a physique like this happens all by itself….
HtH – Does your joke stink? It’s not my joke….
Blondie – Blondie was a better Sydney Sweeney before there was a Sydney Sweeney….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Hagar the Horrible:
It’s not just the dog who remembers what the Vikings did to Yorkshire and Shetland—from the looks of things, the mere mention of those places has rendered Hagar nearly catatonic, presumably while he endures a flashback to the awful things he did to the poor inhabitants of the defenseless settlements there. See, just because he’s a Viking raider named “the Horrible” doesn’t mean he’s immune to the effects of chronic violence on the human psyche! He’s still going to keep doing it, of course. Don’t be silly.
Luann’s mom is right. Bernice would be a much better lawyer than a psychologist. You know who else really needs some advice on what to do with her life? Luann.
Luann is basically Dustin, except Dustin’s parents are direct about their contempt for their child, instead of passive-aggressive like Luann’s parents are.
Pluggers: The “gun show” is headed to the park to hit on women half his age.
CS: Two days in a row about Ed Crankshaft’s death? Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Blondie: Tiny-shinned man crosses ankles on ottoman, destroys local spacetime
AC: Trying to think of something worse than a morning spent doing crunches but chips slathered with fermented yeast would be right up there.
Hagar the Horrible: Lucky Eddie getting mauled by a dog is the main event, but I’m curious about the bystanders’ reactions. The dog’s owner has a cute little smile, like she’s mildly pleased by this turn of events. Meanwhile, Hagar is staring at the horizon while his best friend’s life is in danger.
Do Vikings trip their balls off? Because Hagar is tripping his balls off. Whadda you think, ergot poisoning?
Andy Capp: If the strip wasn’t focused on women’s bodies today, I wouldn’t have noticed it, but what’s up with Flo’s surprisingly pert butt? Has it always extended a foot beyond her body? Is she wearing a bustle? Cartoons are stylized, I’m fine with stylized, but this is some Picasso-esque weirdness.
Well, one thing the Norse did to the Shetlands was to introduce the Norwegian Spitz there, the breed from which the Shetland sheepdog/ Shetland terrier arose. So we tell our Sheltie that he’s a Viking himself. He’s a remarkably timid little Viking, I grant you, but as long as he’s on my lap he’s able to face the world with some measure of equanimity.
Blondie: We all gas on the Bumsteads’ weird living room arrangement—Blondie’s tiny chair, turned 90 degrees away from Dagwood etc.—but if my choices were whatever weird gastronomic reality TV perversion Dagwood’s been “binging” lately or a green–blue shimmering void, I’d choose the void too.
Chix (sic): It’s Victor! Not Victoria. And it’s history not herstory!
FC: It’s funny because Dolly has confused jury duty with a peep show.
Sigh At least you realize you could’ve just hired a hooker
MW: No, no, no. I read Judge Parker when I want to see angsty rich people getting tangled up in organized crime (but never actually risking their wealth). I read Mary Worth when I want to see… wait, why do I read Mary Worth?
“So, I’m pooped now, and you’ll be pooping later. Got it. Was that the joke?”
“Was there supposed to be a joke? I didn’t get the script until the last minute.”
“I guess this is why Andy’s drinking is the core of the strip.”
“Yeah.”
RMMD: You might increase your sales if you got a haircut that didn’t make you look like a shmoe.
Old couple blissfully unaware of the shitstorm that awaits them. Oh, it’s just Marvin.
MW: “As long as you didn’t give her any money …”
“I did! A lot, in fact!”
“At least you realize it was a mistake!”
“I realize nothing of the kind! I’d do it again!”
“Well, at least … gosh, I’m trying to come up with a silver lining here and coming up short … at least this incident brought us closer together.”
“I’m cutting you out of the will the second we get out of here.”
AC: God, what hellish lives the supporting characters in Andy Capp must lead. They exist only to provide setups, and the main characters don’t even bother maintaining eye contact with them while delivering the punchlines.
HTH: Hagar? You okay back there, buddy? You seem to have wandered into the frame accidentally, then been unsure how to make a graceful exit.
Blondie: For someone whose personality is defined by laziness, Dagwood is terrible at relaxing. I mean, look at this guy. He didn’t bother taking off his white-soled shoes for this binge-watching session. He’s dressed to leave the house right now! That ain’t loafin’, son. He could go to Applebee’s in that exact outfit.
Crankshaft: “Bean’s End Hot Cast Polyurethane-Jacketed Dead Blow Hammer. Because there’s never a pickaxe around when you need one!”
DtM: Henry, Dennis deserves this sacred father & son rite of passage. Plug in the lamp and let him try to fix it. It’ll be our little secret.
H&L doesn’t promise anything on the beam about music genres, but isn’t Dot “boy band fan club president” material, while Chip, Curly Forelock, and…whoever are supposed to be aiming for faux-rock stardom?
RMMD – the channel continuing to run a story on Lorna Starr who has been out of the public eye for a decade with absolutely zero new information is giving the old ‘Generallissimo Franco is still dead’ routine a run for its money.
@Joe Blevins: God, what hellish lives the supporting characters in Andy Capp must lead.
Especially in contrast with Rex Morgan, where they’re the main focus. How many steps are we from Rex today? Salesman Lonnie thinks he knows Mae Mae, who grew up with Mud, who plays guitar with Truck, who was once treated by Rex.
Sharon thinks “‘at least he still has plenty of money. If he stupidly gave away all my inheritance I’d be outta here so fast it would make his ascot spin.”‘
JP: I usually cut Marciuliano some slack as he keeps on trying to turn “Judge Parker” into “Sally Forth” East, but this particular plot sequence is too dumb for words. Let’s assume that Ann’s whack with the paddle was enough to knock Brogdan out for a bit. They wasted several days exchanging snarky repartee instead of tying him up. Ann said she had to go back to her father’s place to get his SUV. Unless the Judge lives right around the corner from Abbey’s horse ranch, she has to drive? hitch a ride? catch a bus? back to get the SUV, then drive back. Both women would then have to heave the big guy (hopefully tied up by now) into the SUV and take him to a self-storage place. Unless Ann paddled him into a coma, there’s no way Brogdan isn’t up by now. Also, I don’t know how it works in the boonies, but the self-storage places I’ve been to have staff at the front desk, you have to use a card to scan yourself in, and there are security cams all over the place. How does Ann expect to get the big guy (awake or not) from the SUV to the storage unit? Also, what’s the plan if he needs to use the bathroom?
If I had to guess, Ces didn’t think this through further than a setup for the two ladies to snipe at each other. I should follow Charlotte’s example and just zone out till it’s over.
RMMD: I’m just wondering why Beatty is Herb-and-Jamaal-ing this guy’s sales job. “Can’t place orders..” for what? “Orders [of what?] are down…” “Loss in commissions…” for what? Lugnuts? How will selling a bit of ephemeral show biz gossip make up for whatever he’s lost in what seems to be an industrial field due to (most likely) tariffs?
While I’m at it, putting in the good word for Legend of Bill, which had cameos (of a sort) from Olive Oyl and Betty Boop earlier this week.
So does Dustin wear a badge that says “unemployed” or something? How do all these women who have just met this ordinary looking young man immediately know his job status?
If you bring up the history, I have to wonder how Eddie and the dog owner got such incredibly expensive clothing. In the Viking era, a suit of brightly-colored clothes like that could cost a skilled laborer a month’s wages, or more. (Also, the very much non-Romani woman is carrying a Twentieth Century or later purse.)
I agree with other commenters, the weirdly paralyzed, unresponsive Hagar is either on something or just had a stroke.
Hardy Har Har: “Don’t worry, I still have plenty.”
Sharon: “Dammit! I knew I should’ve ordered Trixie to ask for half a million!”
@Pittcat90: Maybe ascot-man should give some of that plenty to his daughter so she can buy something better than her 60s-era Star Trek uniform. Paging Nurse Chapel…
___________________________________________
If Ascot Man and his daughter are from the 24th century selling tech to Bill Gates et al, that explains everything.He’s not used to using money, and he’s been having an affair with Alexa+++,the great ‘granddaughter of our Alexa. Who needs the Prime Directive?
@Phantom Phan: Also, what’s the plan if he needs to use the bathroom?
___________
Then,Operation: Mud Mountain starts.
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: I respectfully disagree. Lorna Starr is a missing white blond woman, and there are news channels that will play that story 24/7 for weeks.
Or, you know, maybe we could finally get around to that decades-long project we’ve been planning to rearrange the living room furniture out of the Escherian hellscape we created 70 years ago. Just kidding! These couches are sealed to the floor with an impenetrable layer of decades-old sandwich droppings!
@GarrisonSkunk: “something better than her 60s-era Star Trek uniform. Paging Nurse Chapel…”
I fail to see the problem here.
MW: “Well, Father, whatever makes you happy. Now, make me happy by signing these papers my attorney sent over. One is called a “Power of Attorney” and the other is called “Financial Conservatorship”. No. You don’t have to read them.”
AC: Mrs. Capp looks at the audience. “This is where you laugh. HAW HAW HAW (Lord) HAW HAW HAW!”
Andy Capp genuinely pisses me off. He has no redeeming qualities and it’s crazy Flo would stay with his lazy, drunken ass. Idk how this comic is so popular or spawned a brand of chips lol
Pluggers: I’ll cut this one some slack. Down here deep in the heart of Texas the fattest, ugliest, hairiest slobs, guys who make Larry the Cable Guy look svelte, parade about in sleeveless shirts and wifebeater undershirts all the time, giving us full display of armpit hair and man boobs.
I presumed that Dagwood and Blondie were eternally blissful in marriage, like Gomez and Morticia.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a comic with them arguing, ever.
I mean, unlike Fred and Wilma Flintstone, who argue ALL the time. And one special even had them go to marriage counselling “On the Rocks”
Marvin: “My diaper is full of excrement just like the lives of seniors” could also probably work in Pluggers.
“Pluggers know their lives are as full as their grandchildren’s diapers”
See? It’s very versatile.
@Phantom Phan: It will dawn (slowly) on Neddy that (a) Ann has done this before – many times, (b) there is no place for Bogdan if he is alive to go to the bathroom or to have a way to get water, (c) how to do they keep Bogdan quiet and not start screaming and banging for help once they leave – or do they leave him trussed up (d) he is dead and Ann knew because she has clobbered other men with clubs.
Blondie – Okay, I’ve figured out what “mowing the yard” and “cleaning the garage” are euphemisms for, but so far all I’ve got for “the attic” is that it probably involves the upper frontals.
MW – Harv shouldn’t be able to shrug this off so easily. He needed that money to buy custom-tailored clothes for his freakishly long torso!
Don Abundio, translated:
“The Admiral uses carrier pigeons?”
“Yeah. He gets a lot of messages from headquarters”
“Messages about what?”
“All the regulations he’s broken”
@Ken: #55: Hell, there were news channels playing stuff 24/7 for weeks about the missing 84 year old mother of a celebrity white woman.
Oh look, Andy Capp finally passed the Bechdel Test after all these years.
Blondie: “And maybe you could turn your chair around and converse with me like a normal person instead of facing it at a 90 degree angle from mine in some bizarre passive-aggressive demonstration of indifference, bitch.”
MW: I’m sorry, but what about Widower Hart’s behavior has indicated he’s learned he was misled? He still seems 100% convinced that “Trixie” was really a hot twentysomething who went for the “Fred from Scooby Doo in a Miami retirement community” look. Also (and forgive me if I’m misremembering but I don’t have the time or mental investment to check) the $200K drop was merely the last and largest in a series of payment he wired to “Trixie” over the course of his courtship. The minute Sharon leaves him alone for more than a few days (and she will have to do that, because she’s got “the hub” and two teenage boys and a job and a side hustle in her life), he’ll be right back at it. It’s bizarre how Karen Moy keeps starting with a basic truth (seniors are lonely and desperate for connection which leaves them vulnerable to scammers; animals have heightened senses that can alert them to things humans haven’t noticed yet; don’t date people who are hostile to your kids) and spins it into something completely batshit (just talk to your parents now and then and everything will be okay; pets are great because they can save you from fires and receive psychic messages from stranded teenage girls; the girl you met on vacation may be an insane serial killer weirdly attached to her brother).
@Rube: #50: Because, as one mudge previously speculated, Dustsis has a special website dedicated solely to her brother and his friend Fitch, titled “Don’t Date These Losers”. Every single woman in town has seen it.
DT: I dunno, if one-third of the party I was hoping to recruit for crimes compulsively repeated his statements, I might extend that window by twelve or so hours.
C’shaft: Crankshaft keeps showing Pam all these tools that could be used to murder him in gruesome ways. It’s like even he’s tormented by his continued existence and wants to be put out of his misery.
Dustin: I’m never sure if we’re supposed to be laughing at Dustin (because he’s an unemployed, unattractive loser) or the woman (because she’s a shallow gold-digger) in these scenarios. Then I remember that this is Dustin where there is no laughter except the laugh of triumph over those awful young people.
GT: “Don’t worry, honey, I’m White Male Protagonist Gil Thorp. There’s not a social ill I can’t solve.”
JP: “Remote cabin, seedy room in a motel renovated into studio apartments, in the basement beside the Christmas decorations, abandoned construction site, spare room in our summer home. Next question!”
Mary Worth: Didn’t this guy actually say that the two hundred grand was a significant portion of his money? Did he just mean that it was a big chunk of the cash he happened to have in his wallet that morning? I guess being a part-owner of the mile-wide Charterstone property conveys significantly more wealth than we thought — though if any of them ever try to sell their share to developers, it would bring on a Mary Worth lecture on loyalty and friendship that was so ferocious it would probably kill them.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: ‘Southeastwowsians’? Is that real?
Asking for a friend…
Edge City (Brisket version): Abbey, it’s not easy feeding Sephardic food to Ashkenazim. All that cumin and turmeric gives ‘em heartburn, especially the alter kakers like your Dad.
JP: Neddy has wisely taken some time to brush her hair back into a ponytail, to avoid getting so much blood in it.
Mary Worth: Is it just me, or has H@rvey been wearing the same outfit for this entire storyline taking place over (I assume) weeks?
Andy Capp: Flo looking at the reader as if expecting them to be amazed with her pathetic attempt at a joke really adds something to this strip.
Hagar The Horrible: “Careful! My dog is aggressive and really likes walking across people horizontally!”
Blondie: Translating this comic from Newspaper Comic Writer to human language; the writer’s spouse wanted to watch that Handsmaid’s Tale spin-off that just came out and it REALLY pissed said writer off.
MW: If he was truly that rich, the family would have stayed in touch.
MW- (Panel 2) “At least you realize it was a mistake …Oh my goodness! Look at the time! Well Dad, gotta run! The Hub will be home soon…”
My sister-in-law was recently scammed out of more money than I knew she had. It wasn’t a fake internet lover (she is somewhat recently widowed), and it was a well-designed scam, even though I would have spotted it as such instantly.
We are taking measures to prevent it happening again, and cooperating with the FBI, but I’m sure the money is gone forever.
MW- “Don’t worry-I’ve still got plenty..what with my partnership with Panda Express and all…