Hollywood elegance? In my roots country hotspot?
Post Content
Hi and Lois, 6/4/26
Honestly there’s a really sad story written on Ditto’s dumbfounded face in panel two. “Oh, wow, I guess he barks all the time because he craves attention and affection? Huh. I feel bad now!”
Andy Capp, 6/4/26
Andy Capp is really educating me about the United Kingdom: it’s a country that loves art and includes a town named Beer. Admittedly it’s a tiny village of less than 1,300 people, which is surprising given that Britain is (another fact I’ve learned from Andy Capp) an island of inveterate alcoholics.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/4/26
Doug, no! The Glenwood Hotel’s whole deal is that it’s a run-down piece of shit! You’re going to screw with the whole brand!
64 replies to “Hollywood elegance? In my roots country hotspot?”
Andy Capp: “You had me at ‘Bud.'”
I’m always fascinated at how we ask dogs “Who’s a good boy,” as, obviously the dog doesn’t know. Do I not know? Who, in fact, is a good boy? This is too much.
RMMD-“Everyone who just visited the restaurant were staying at other hotels.”
MW-Fab Fro Yo? I don’t know. I would rather have the country’s best.
Shouldn’t he be, like, “Boddington Guinness” or some shit? I’m told in the UK, Bud isn’t common, and is a “fancy” import. Way to be be uncommon and fancy, man of Beer!
MW: Dawn is clearly drawn at a completely different scale from Tommy, suggesting she was copy/pasted into the strip from a folder of assets. I have to say, I admire Brigman’s dedication to giving this strip exactly as much attention as it deserves. Which is none.
RMMD – Shithole chic is in these days….
MW: Buckle up, Tommy. Dawn is going to beat the dead horse of “You’re no dummy if…” until she lands on the one thing that proves you actually are.
“It’ll just be a matter of time before she muscles me out of my own operation, but I’m an ineffectual dipshit! I am Doug.”
AC You know, if I were a scammer trying to fleece a room of none-too-bright bar flies, thst would probably be my opening line too.
RMMD “I could get the light fixed, for example. God its dark in here…”
Ph: For instance, what do you know of thinly disguised oligarchs who like to wear alien masks?
DT: Uh, I thought you were already *in* the escape vehicle, BB ol’ buddy. Were you expecting to make your escape hanging from one of the loot-carrying drones?
S4th: ‘No, Hilary, I could not hear your ‘dream balloon’ (whatever the $#@% THAT is…) but I want you to stop making goo-goo eyes at me from across the room!’
MW: So now we know where the Westons go for fuel for their #$%!-eating grins…
RMMD: ‘Maybe we’ll finally be able to bribe the health inspector to upgrade our rating!’
CS: Well, we got a ‘punchline’ a day earlier than Horace Broon predicted, but I’m choosing to focus on the fact that Eugene/Ed never takes off that damn hat. Sure, I like *my* hat and wear it every chance I get, and I’ve gone on painfully few dates, but even I know you’ve got to take it off when you’re dancing!
Andy Capp:
“His name is Bud Weiser — when you say ‘Bud Weiser,’ you’ve said it all!”
AC: American asks a native for directions to the town of Beer. “Never heard of it.” Shows him the name on a map. “Oh, you mean ‘Beer’.”
RMMD:
“That’s something to think about. I neglected to make upgrades and kind of ‘Doug‘ a hole for myself. So to speak.”
MW: This relationship isn’t going to work. Dawn eats her fro-yo out of a bowl. Tommy prefers a manly cone. He don’t need no sissy spoon.
Today’s Pluggers theme could also work for my proposed new strip, “Your Parents Were Hipsters If…”.
If Andy Capp tries to claim Guinness for the UK, it’s going to set off an international incident.
“He’s just saying ‘hello'” is the start of a lot of tragic news stories involving dogs and children. If your large territorial carnivore is making loud sounds at another person, its just being friendly.
***
I’m just trying to picture some guy walking into a bar and just introducing himself to everyone in North Ameri… oh, there’s shouting… Hey, you shouldn’t have pushed hi… OH! Fists are flying! Ah, the police are here now. Great, now everyone’s being kicked out of my mind palace.
***
Look at Doug’s face. That is the look of someone who was about to torch the place for the insurance money and now it looks like he’s stuck here.
But seriously, don’t teach kids to pet strange dogs that are barking at them.
@Dan: It wouldn’t be the first time the English tried to claim Ireland.
Luann: pokes head in Okay, the Evansii did restart the camp counselor storyline. Knowing them, they will just use the same strip prepared already.
Luann: Do you, Phil? Do you really? Because Luann and her friends bait-and-switched you about this job. She said she was applying for a work promotion, which allegedly would have paid for her plan to invite herself to live in your apartment. Now you know her new job is temporary, and you don’t know how much/little it pays. Luann took a giant steaming dump on YOUR timeframe for moving into YOUR apartment. Why are you putting up with this? Don’t tell me she’s good in bed; we know full well you two can’t even smooch in a backseat without her same friends getting all up in your business.
CS: “Tension builds.”
“Bud” is the first sign of the twenty-first century shift from alcohol to weed. Some day you’ll be explaining to kids how the comic strip Andy Capp is “from beer.”
From the linked Wikipedia article and presented with minimal further comment about the relevance to Andy Capp:
“Beer is a seaside village and civil parish in the East Devon district of Devon, England.” … which is on the opposite side of England relative to Hartlepool, Durham, which is where (according to Wikipedia) Andy Capp takes place.
“its picturesque cliffs, including Beer Head” (emphasis in the original)
“It is a coastal village that grew up around a smugglers’ cove and caves which were once used to store contraband goods. These are now part of the attraction of the village.”
RMMD: Soon, the dingy mid-century chic will be replaced by hanging Edison lights, exposed brick, and faux ghost signs and a egg and toast plate will cost $27.00 Plenty of micro-brews on tap, too.
MW I suppose Tommy could be mostly done with his cone, but I prefer to think the server took one look at his smarmy face and shortchanged him as much as humanly possible.
HtH The real joke is that Sven is a card sharp about to reel *them* in after they’ve fallen for his bad luck tales
GT Wait – I thought Lucas existed before this storyline, which according to the Strip Rules means he was already in at least one sport. So he was doing that miserably to make Coach Thorp and/or his family who must live in Thorpford – er, Milford! – happy? Actually that tracks.
Beetle Bailey: Do you think it’s a requirement of the US military that they wear chefs hats while serving or is that something Cookie does because he actually feels proud of what he’s prepared? Is Cookie disillusioned about this unspecified slop he’s dishing out?
Dennis the Menace: Why is George Wilson drinking from this hilariously small cup as he says he’s trying to forget Dennis exists? Is it a shot glass? Was he sitting there with a shot glass of whiskey just waiting for the opportunity to drink?
MW: As I predicted yesterday: Tommy and Dawn, sitting at a table holding spoons awkwardly and exchanging platitudes. OK, Tommy’s holding a cone awkwardly and Dawn’s monologuing the platitudes, but close enough.
For my next psychic prediction: The frame pulls back to show Mary sitting in a nearby booth. Her face twists with rage as she realizes Dawn is meddling Tommy, and using her techniques to boot. The interloper must be driven from her territory.
GT: Two things I learned from today’s strip: (1) Gil’s a southpaw; and (2) he and Lucas are immortal highlanders and now that golf season is over, they must duel for one another’s heads. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
MW: Moy really ruined Tommy’s “No thoughts, only fro-yo” vibe today by adding thoughts.
RxMD: Motel shmotel—if Mae Mae’s going to move to Glenwood, it’s her hair that’s going to need capital upgrades if it’s going to get up to code. She’s going to need to add at least six inches on top and sharpen those bangs if she’s going comply with §1963 of the local Roots Rockabilly Updo Ordinance.
Wrecks Moregone:
Maybe with the mansion money you can afford to buy backgrounds so it’s not just your face in the panel, ultra close up.
Andy Capp: Bud just walked into the pub and forcefully announced his presence, and already the bartender’s over it! I love how he’s stalking through the background with narrowed eyes, studiously avoiding this noisy poltroon’s gaze.
Andy wants to drink this fella! But in a sexy homoerotic way or in a horrifying vore way?
@Ettorre: They say it’s good to learn a new word each day, but I wish today’s hadn’t been “vore.” Ah, well, takes all kinds.
RMMD — “I figured on selling the mansion in Hollywood and investing the money here in Glenwood.”
Don’t do it , Doug! You know what they say, Never invest with crazy!
AC — Many a peer in England brews/A livelier liquor than the Muse
Luann: Phil is gay, right? That’s the only way this whole thing makes sense.
FC: Don’t read him anything about food…and math. Last night it took me an hour to explain how infinity +1 makes sense.
H&L: Both Ditto and Dog are mad at new kid for his condescending manner. “You wouldn’t think I was so good if I started humping your leg.” Thinks dog. “Or maybe you would, pervert.”
JP: “Are you getting where I’m coming from? I need to protect my energy. I feel unsafe, in a toxic holding place, and I need to begin setting a boundary. By the way, nice clown shirt.”
MW: Tommy’s Thought Balloon: Man, I’m glad I ordered Vanilla and not Cigar Ash.
Phantom: “Well, aren’t you the smug son of a bitch. How about “Twister,” then?”
CS: Calling it now: Eugene will take at least two weeks to tell us he has cancer.
From the Beer wiki page: “Bacteria taken from cliffs at Beer on the south coast were launched to the International Space Station in 2008. . .The survivors are now reproducing in a laboratory. Except for one that evolved, got loose, and roams the pubs of England, looking for new victims.”
Sex Organ V.D. : “Do you guys have a Glenwood Valley P.T.A.? Mud and I are writing a song.”
@Banana Jr. 6000: I don’t know, this whole “Lillian never has to face how horrible she is” writing makes me think the writer by now doesn’t even think Lillian did anything terrible. So I’m guessing Eugene’s going into memory care knowing he has the early stages of Alzheimers/ dementia. There will be a follow-up later where he can’t tell the difference between Lillian and Lucy and they end up with a ‘happy ending’ old-folks-home romance. Yuck.
AC: I thought Europeans tended to look down on our mass-produced American brands, because they are quite frankly crap compared to local brews. Andy Capp strikes me as the sort of guy who would drink rubbing alcohol in order to get tanked, however, so I’ll allow it.
RMMD: Here we see the point when Glenwood goes all-in on its brand as the Mecca for kitchy nostalgia. In a couple years this place will be all faux-retro diners with twenty-five dollar boozy shakes and art galleries selling Googie-inspired abstract sculpture. Sure, the town’s economy will take a boost, but what will that matter if it loses its filthy, run-down soul?
Does it disturb anyone else that even Dawg resembles Thursty?
Complaining about Rex Morgan not focusing on medical stories is a losing battle, but I swear to god if someone doesn’t stop talking about investment or celebrity gossip and shit themself right now I’m gonna lose it.
H and L:
“I’m going to see how smart your pooch is by asking him three questions in rapid succession. This journeyman catcher, first name ‘Phil,’ toiled in the majors in the ’70s and later became a coach — who is he? This word describes the protective cover of a structure — what is it? And this word describes the vaulted upper boundary of the mouth — what is the word?”
“WOOF WOOF WOOF”
“Ditto — the dog’s a genius!”
MW: “You’re no dummy! I know dummies! I’m Wilbur Weston’s daughter!”
GT, panel 4: no dialogue as Gil and Lucas beat each other into submission.
@GarrisonSkunk: Yes. Yes it does.
What can you say? The man gets around.
C’shaft: You were not living in the good old days, Eugene. Jim Crow was rampant. Women couldn’t open their own bank accounts. Japanese citizens were being rounded up and sent to camps, and Chinese immigrants still couldn’t become citizens. The entire fucking world was at war. You just think it was the good old days because you had the privilege and financial liberty to do a tepid two-step with a girl who looked like an old maid at seventeen before being shipped off to your cushy far-from-the-front-lines assignment. Now go to your ten-by-ten assisted living room, shut the door behind you, and never, ever come out again.
Dustin: I wouldn’t be throwing stones, kid; both you and Dustin will be indentured servants on some tech billionaire’s moon mining operation.
JP: “And that’s why I wanted to make you feel helpless by getting you a diner job without your knowledge or consent.”
MW: Great, now Mary’s outsourcing her platitudes to the supporting cast.
GT: Um, is Gil flirting? Surely not, but “I’ve suddenly found a reason to like this” is a classic trope.
@Ken: Knowledge should be shared
@TheDiva: On JP – A job that she could easily get out of by going to Ernest Borgnine and saying ‘I’m sorry, but Dad’s a few bricks shy of a load. I have no intention of coming to work here. The next time Dad comes in and says anything about it, just smile and nod and say I’m doing fine but I’m not on shift at the moment.’
On CS – I wonder if we as a species are ever going to get to a place we can honestly call the ‘good old days’ without requiring a giant ‘except for…’ asterisk.
GT: Reverse those last two panels, and it looks like Gil and Lucas are about to go at it with their golf clubs.
S4th: If I’m Mr. Balmaceda, I’m quitting and getting the heck out of Dodge before I’m accused of hitting on my underage student.
ZITS: Umm…..Isn’t Yahtzee a DICE game?
GT: “I never thought I’d find a sport I like, but golf — it throws all that ‘be a team player’ horseshit right out the window! Have you ever noticed there’s no ‘I’ in ‘me,’ either? God, I hate other people.”
AC: So, no joke, as a child we used to go on holiday to Beer, mainly because my dad likes trains and Beer’s economy was centred around a model train museum and a couple of preserved historical tramways. Anyway, Wikipedia tells me that both the museum and the light railway closed last year, so I don’t blame Bud Guinness for seeking a new life in Hartlepool. At least they’ve got the big ships museum.
Doug out here turning the Glenwood Hotel into a ‘Hollywood Elegance in my Roots Country Hotspot’ vibe? Bro, this is just the gentrification of Nashville happening in comic strip form. Next thing you know, the Glenwood will have $18 craft cocktails named after obscure Hank Williams B-sides, Edison bulbs hanging from reclaimed barn wood, and a pop-up ‘authentic’ hot chicken stand run by a guy from LA who discovered buttermilk last year.
“I’m thinking we redo the hotel in honor of a Hollywood classic. We’ll need an old lady’s corpse in the window up there, and a couple of knives. Can you grin with sinister intent?”
@Lauralot: MW: Dawn is clearly drawn at a completely different scale from Tommy, suggesting she was copy/pasted into the strip from a folder of assets.
_________________________________________
Wilber is the ass,Dawn the asset.
Suspecting that “Bud” was not a very English name, I went to its Wikipedia page, and the only English Bud was Bud Flanagan, born Chaim Reuben Weintrop. Interesting background for Andy’s new china!
DT: At least some of the other cops are apprehending the crooks and not caught up in the diversion. But hasn’t most of the loot already departed on drones?
Beedy Eyes and Double Up just show once again why they are goon tier level. A getaway car that leads to another car is a classic trope but usually it is done in a garage or somewhere there is a lot of innocuous traffic to act as a screen.
JP: Just leap ahead to when the Judge finally dies and is buried and the strip transitions to Charlotte going to find April and Randy.
RMMD: And this is the point where the later documentary notes the Lorna Starr made a series of bad financial decisions squandering the millions she had earned in films. The most disastrous was buying into a small town hotel.
Andy Capp:
It’s becoming clear that the universe of this strip is strongly influenced by nominative determinism: Andy’s last name is Capp, so he wears that damn hat all the time, and this newcomer is named after beers and even from Beer, so Andy figures he must be a fellow drunkard. (The fact that one of those beers being American and the other Irish goes uncommented on shows that Andy puts alcohol far above mere nationality.) So naturally I started wondering, what’s Chalkie’s deal? You may be surprised to find out that there’s no lovingly curated Andy Capp wiki out there, nor does TV Tropes have a Characters page for it, so all I was able to find out in the amount of time I was willing to invest doing internet searches for this bit is that his last name is White. “Chalkie” appears to be a somewhat common nickname for people named White, but that doesn’t mean it reveals nothing about his character. Is he a schoolteacher, a disturbing possibility considering his close association with Andy? A tailor? A gymnast? A serial killer who disposes of his victims in chalk mines? If the latter, Mr. Guinness here better watch his back if his love of drinking means he displaces Chalkie in Andy’s affections.
Andy Carpp: Appearing at Andy’s pub starting Monday, the comedy stylings of Guinness and Costello with their immortal routine “Brews On First?”
I…huh? Is there a joke in today’s H&L? Is there even an ATTEMPT at a joke? I’m not finding one.
@CanuckDownSouth: Plausible guess. And Lillian’s spent so many years (80+!) keeping her secret that it makes zero sense for her to blurt it now. Of course, making sense is not a prerequisite on Planet Batiuk.
@TheDiva: When I was living in New York’s southern tier, there was a beer that the locals who couldn’t afford Piel’s bought called Stegmaier. I used it for cooking, but not for drinking. When my not-then-yet-wife and I moved to Minneapolis, we were wandering around a boutique liquor store, looking for Sam Smith’s oatmeal stout and MacAllen’s Scottish Ale, when we discovered a barrel full of a quaint microbrew from Wlkes-Barre, PA. Stegmaier. We laughed our asses off and left with a couple of pint bottles of the Sam Smith’s.
BLONDIE: It’s all comfort food? Elmo, here, have an habanero sandwich
FRAZZ: For bladder reasons, is backpacking possible for seniors? I was considering going on a six-day backpacking adventure with young friends when I remembered getting up three times the prior night. How do you handle it?
GA: so that’s how they keep their hamlet small and secluded– the Welcome sign faced in.
MW: Dawn is practicing her role as Mary’s advice-full understudy.
RMMD: act in haste, repent in leisure. She’s been in town what, three days?
@Bob Tice: Fun Budweiser fact #1: There is actually a Czech Budweiser that has no connection to the well-known American brand, and the two have a long-running trademark dispute.
Fun Budweiser fact #2: There was once a Major League Baseball player named Bud Weiser. Which was pretty much his real name. (His middle name was Budson.)
These are the only two fun facts about Budweiser.