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Judge Parker, 6/21/26

Look, we know what you want and what you don’t want out of your soap opera comic strips, and what you don’t want is character growth. That sort of thing is how you get the man once known as “Tommy the Tweaker” yammering about his skivvies in a supermarket, where he’s gainfully employed, to Dawn Weston of all people. So, don’t worry, kids, Sophie moved to Norway a year ago but she hasn’t “found herself” or grown as a person at all! Instead she broke up with her boyfriend for reasons she can barely articulate. She’s going to drift back to the United States as dumb as she was when she left, and I think that’s great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/21/26

Sorry, I’m sure Snuffy loves his son Li’l Tater and his nephew Jughaid who has, through some sequence of events we don’t talk about, come to be his full-time ward, but I refuse to believe that he would ever have a structure on his property, no matter how ramshackle, that has “work” in its name. The very concept is anathema to him!

Heathcliff, 6/21/26

[normally, conversationally, as if the sentence I’m saying is the most natural thing in the world] Butterflies are the emojis of stoke.