One-panel Saturday
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Crankshaft, 10/24/26
Crankshaft, no longer satisfied to merely irritate his neighbors with occasional billowing clouds of smoke during grilling season, is now hoping to more effectively poison them by simply pumping out gasoline fumes for hours on end.
Family Circus, 10/24/26
Wrong, Dolly! Kangaroos are nonhuman animals and feel no sense of patriotism; they can flourish in environments with a wide range of temperatures so long as there are plentiful grasses and shrubs for them to eat and no large carnivores who might prey upon them.
Bizarro, 10/24/26
Most turkeys that Americans will be eating this holiday season will have lived their entire lives inside the factory farm where they will also meet their demise. You might be inside a factory farm right now, li’l poult! Make a break for it! Try to get outside and never look back!
48 replies to “One-panel Saturday”
RMMD for dessert: sticky rice… and mango… Ew – Beatty, do _not_ go around sharing your sex code!
Bizarro:
“Let’s talk turkey, son!”
Family Circus:
“Next stop — Wallaby!”
RMMD: Today the part of Augie DoggyDingDongDaddy will be played by Clutch Cargo.
MW:
Panel 1: ‘Daiiiuuuuhh Mary!’ ‘Daiiiuuuhhh Toby!’
Panel 2: Notice how Mary makes eye contact with Ian but not Toby…
Luann: Has Bernice been reading Oedipus? Or maybe ‘Mourning Becomes Electra’?
Ph: Now pull my finger!
Bizarro … and the grown pullet promptly was taken as an Easter turkey dinner…
Bizarro: Josh’s comment reminds me of A Mother’s Tale by James Agee
Crankshaft:
Get your motor runnin’
Head out on the byway
Lookin’ for your dentures
And whatever comes your way….
Meaning of Lila:
Is a side effect of leukaemia growing a head the size of Casper the friendly ghost’s?
[I know we all slag off Widdle Sawah and Shannon, but this kid is more unpleasant than both of them put together. She’s more unpleasant than both of them *and* Rusty put together.]
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Wrecks Moregone:
I don’t know if they put down a red carpet for the Razzies.
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Wary Morth:
Meanwhile, inside, Mary seethed.
How dare they, HOW DARE THEY spread rumours about her and that bearded oaf? She hadn’t been this furious since she’d defeated the Saleman, years ago. She’d imagined that she’d earned the right to settle down to a peaceful existence of meddling and turning down Dr Jeff’s sexual advances. And now this.
As soon as she’d seen the oaf and the drunk off on their journey, Mary would hunt the rumours down to their source. And then she’d make them pay.
Oh, she thought, feeling herself growing moist in anticipation, HOW they would pay.
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Murky Tail:
“He should’ve bought guns or drugs online, now that would’ve been all right! Blue shrimp should only be bought from physical stores!”
FC: That ‘roo looks traumatized by what she just witnessed between the satisfied piglet and the monkey, dog, and rabbit.
Bizarro:
This advice isn’t going to do either of them much good, considering the lit stick of dynamite right next to the chair. Hopefully they notice it before it’s too late, or at least have time to enjoy that slice of blueberry pie before it goes off.
Crankshaft: So maybe this is me being a clueless European, but I always assumed those ride-on mowers were for McMansions with huge multi-acre lawns. Do people really drive mowers like that around their tiny matchbox-sized suburban yards? Do they really need two tanks of gasoline to make it all the way around their 20×30 foot lot?
FC: Nice glass table. Lots of sharp corners. Haven’t the Keanes heard of babyproofing? (They actually have, but unfortunately they thought it referred to contraception and was sinful.)
The Family Circus:
True fact: Keane family matriarch Thelma, or at least her real-life analogue, is also Australian, so Dolly is subtly telling her mother to sequester herself in the basement where she and her kind belong.
MW-It’ll be good that Ian and Toby will be away when Nelly suffers a fatal “accident”.
FC-I thought it was going down under.
Crankshaft-Poor Ed is finding out that he can’t kill himself by fire.
FC: Dolly has a real four legs good, two legs bad vibe going there.
@Hibbleton:
That was horrible. I couldn’t finish reading it.
FC: That is the smuggest stuffed dog I have ever seen. Don’t blame the kangaroo for wanting to be on the other side of the world.
MW: Mary and Toby are fondling each other in public. This is the most tedious, most clothed version of the Eyes Wide Shut orgy.
Lockhorns hits the bullseye today, as their target audience has zero knowledge of the 1994 movie The Madness of King George, let alone the name being changed from the 1991 source play The Madness of Some Random Person Named George, Part 3.
Zits: Hector will reconstruct Jeremy’s binder, and give him a pair of official docent’s gloves, as Jeremy’s DNA needs to be kept from touching the study materials.
BG&SS: The pharmaceutical rep is wasting his time in a county that has a green-faced cave dweller, whom everyone politely calls “Granny” but is really a witch, making potions in a cauldron.
Pluggers: this is less a comic and more a desperate cry for help. Pluggers have serious cognitive problems
@Schroduck: Crankshaft’s house seems to be one of those homes built before the days of suburbia when lots were a good bit larger. The two tankfuls of gas have been spent on him just idling there waiting for that one patch to grow so he can mow it.
I guess all that talk about ‘climate damage’ by Batiuk was just that…
Crankshaft: Now, I’m not an expert in lawn care, but I feel that you might make more progress by actually steering the mower instead of sulking on it with your arms crossed.
“Brain Blizzard” is also what Pluggers try to order at Dairy Queen because Pluggers might actually be undead zombies
RMMD – Possibly the least realistic scene this strip,has ever done. No one orders dessert in Asian restaurants.
MW – the first panel looks like “two,mean girls who are fighting forced to hug and ‘make up’”.
MW: Mary and Toby end the party with a traditional round of Indian wrestling.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Too bad. An important work, well studied.
Seeing as it’s a world where Turkeys are sentient and live in houses, humans probably don’t even exist in that reality, Grandpa is just off of his meds or is senile.
@The Rambling Otter: Even the turkey kid is practically rolling his eyes. “Mom! When is grandpa going back to the home?”
In a world where Turkeys are self aware and capable of living in homes with furniture and even artwork on the walls I wonder how they deal with the lack of a sphincter that causes them to expel waste without any control. These birds should probably be wearing diapers or else this house should be covered in bird droppings.
FC: The kangaroo likes to be down under to watch the ape take a dump on the glass table top. (I know they’re stuffed animals but the ape has the exact facial expression for it.)
Crankshaft: The grass is coming slowly? Isn’t that the point of mowing?
I’m calling bullshit on the Family Circus house having white carpeting, that floor should be absolutely covered in stains
RMMD: Eat Augie! A little fat might round off the corners on your octagon shaped head.
H&L: Curious to what exactly happened between panels one and two to turn Hi from loving dad to teen hating manipulated and gotten angry man.
RxMD: This guy! With his weeklong monologue on keeping your expectations low and now this talk of watching waistlines has got drippiest drip who ever dripped, and that’s in a strip
starringfeaturingin which Rex Morgan occasionally appears!RMMD: If it’s possible for there to be an anticlimax in this flatline conversation, mango rice is it.
MW: ” Thank you, Ian darling, but in the future, could you just GO TO A !!@#% TRAVEL AGENT? I haven’t slept for a week!
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: My wife and I had the mango sticky rice at Pad Thai in St. Paul just the other day. I think we would have been happier picking up Swiss roll from Kowalski’s, though, which only goes to prove your point.
FC: Dolly is on her way to find Jeffy and show him when a duck can be a goose.
FC-The kangaroo likes to look up from underneath the glass ceiling.
Bizarro vs Crankshaft
*: Crankshaft believes that the noise of blades eager to cut them down encourages grass to grow, like going “PSSSSSSSSST” can encourage a person to urinate. Meanwhile the absurdist comic strip knows that all creatures fear the knife that ends their lives.*sadly, not a failed, monstrous clone of Superman beating up the hateful old jerkFC – Dolly’s going to be thrilled in a few years when she learns what “going down under” really means.
FC – “Also, dogs and monkeys like to wear human clothes! And pigs enjoy the off-the-wall standup comedy of Steven Wright!”
FC – Kids say the darndest things. It’s so cute when Dolly mispronounces “antipodes” as only three syllables.
@Peanut Gallery: (And I always misspell “darnedest.” But that’s not a bit cute.)
GT; “Sure, our team suffered an important loss, but now everyone realizes how important the Thorps are, and that’s what really matters. Now let’s go TP the Jones house, losers”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hello, Yum Yum! Can I bring you some flowers?”
“NO!”
“But… I got them just for you!”
“I don’t care! Plant them somewhere!”
“Those are those new surveillance flowers I’ve heard about! They have cameras and microphones in them!”
The good news is that with gas prices as they are, Crankshaft can bankrupt his family just by fueling that thing instead of his usual approach of ordering arcane and overpriced gardening gear from a stupid-pun retailer.
@Anonymous: re Bizarro: I may have mentioned before – all our Avian talent use cloaca plugs while on the set, both on-panel and off. Standard practice for the industry, required by all the comic venues.
Man, I was surprised to get a call for Turkeys a week before Halloween! Maybe this bodes well for our clients this year – a return to the traditional Thanksgiving Turkey scenarios…. played for laffs of course. Maybe they won’t hafta sign up with the Butterball agency…
FC – The kangaroo looks unhappy and you would be too if you had a dog, a pig and a monkey performing a Pittsburgh Platter on you.