Bad faces
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Dustin, 11/3/26
Man, man, I could’ve done without Dustin’s dad’s sheepish little I-did-an-oopsie smile in the last panel here. I don’t really care if this is happening in his subconscious and he’s about to wake up having made a mess of the sheets or if he’s decided to manifest his dreams in real life and this is the incident that finally gets him disbarred at minimum, but he’s clearly getting off on his coworker’s anger and disgust and that shouldn’t be in the funny pages, which are a sacred space for cats who hate Mondays and whatever they have going on in Peanuts reruns these days.
Crankshaft, 11/3/26
Speaking of little smiles I hate, I don’t think Comic Book John should be imprisoned or anything for his facial expression on panel two, but I still don’t care for it. “Ah, the children of today,” he seems to be thinking. “They’re incredibly stupid, as it should be. Only the dumbest of minds will eschew legitimate literature for the moronic capeslop I sell, so this is all good news for me. Sorry about society, I guess.”
Marvin, 11/3/26
Also, Marvin, don’t go outside at all! You are literally a toddler?
47 replies to “Bad faces”
To which comic strip author(s) does this mashup apply?
Dustin – As Dustdad leaves skid marks on the fine Corinthian leather, even his computer monitor is falling asleep.
Crankyshafty: Apollo Guidance Computer and Software Engineer Margaret Hamilton have entered the chat.
Curtis: Well, well, well. We not only found Derrick’s kryptonite. We found his last name. Let see if Curtis uses his power for good, or if he wimps out like Peter Parker.
Dustin:
You just know that a great day is in store for you when you get to start it off by having a gander at Ed’s nipple-areola complex.
@Baja Gaijin: All of them, Katie.
Crankshaft:
Right there is everything that’s wrong with the American educational system.
Dustin’s dad is going to use his newly acquired power of lucid dreaming for evil, you can tell. Over the next few days his wife and son will notice how much more cheerful he suddenly is and take it to mean he’s mellowing out, unaware that he’s wishing them into the cornfield at night.
Marvin: Read the fine print, Marvin Mom, Apple™ Air tags dropped in a coat pocket are not a substitute for parental guidance.
Marvin: Jenny specifically told the hit man she hired that the target would have a red coat.
Marvin:
“I treat Mom like a coastline. I always take her littorally!”
@Anonymous:
Dustin’s dad is the Loathe of Heaven.
GT “Yeah, so even though he was better, I *did* get to know his weaknesses. The team wasn’t great at pushing through on the first two downs so there’s this play that’s especially good when they’re on the 3rd down with a lot left to make 10 yards… oh wait, there’s a 4th here, I don’t think this is gonna work, coach”
Dustin: The new Survivor series set in the urban jungle confuses viewers and contestants alike. Although, most everyone agrees Ed should not be wearing a loincloth in public.
Crankshaft: Of all the comics to become mainly about sassy AI, the Funkyverse was the last one I suspected. I guess when you hate humanity as much as Batiuk must (after all, he inflicted Les on us for our sins), you become desperate for the robot uprising.
Pluggers: He’s waddling because he just shit his pants.
Crankshaft :
1. Those aren’t Comic-con cosplayers, those are late Halloween trick-or-treaters.
2. I’m assuming this is a lead time problem, but is this a “when this was written, the author didn’t know Artemis II was gonna happen, or was it assuming that by October everyone would have forgotten about it”?
(It does feel like several years, rather than 6 months ago)3. It’s WEIRD this strip consistently portrays fans you meet at conventions/book signings/etc. as contemptible idiots you have to smugly smirk at.
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Dennis the Menace : I initially thought that what was going on was that Hank was having an intervention with a hoarder friend, telling him “hey, stop bringing broken crap back to your house to fix it, it’s not healthy.”
Then I realised what the gag actually was, and I thought : why is Hank’s friend there at all? Have DENNIS deliver the one-liner, as he hands his father yet another thing he broke (watch, clock, priceless heirloom, etc.).
*************
Dustin : I really wish tomorrow’s strip was DustinDad in jail, surrounded by the criminals his terrible lawyering got incarcerated, realising it WASN’T a dream, and that there will finally be consequences for all the stuff he’s done.
…Is there a place I can go to vote for that to happen?
that joke’s not going too far, I hope?@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
He most likely has that shitty faux leather that cheap office chairs are made with. It’s professional peeling off and sticking to his ass.
also GT – yeah suurrrre there were *two* families in the ‘Peg hyper-attuned to US *high*school* football and ready to uproot themselves to get their kids to play there despite recent border/ visa issues…
MW: I see Mary has reverted to form: Rather than talking to Nelly to find her motives, she’s going to make something up and then proceed as if her imaginings were fact. Which it will be, because she’s the main character, but it rarely works out in real life.
I’m also expecting Mary’s “diagnosis” will be that Nelly doesn’t spend enough time with her family, followed by Mary calling said family and having them take Nelly away to live with them. Because you can never re-use a plot resolution too often.
Zits: Nimrod was a warrior in the Bible described in the Book of Genesis as the great-grandson of Noah (son of Cush, who was the son of Ham). He is famously described as “a mighty hunter before the Lord”.
Dustin: I don’t want to know why both his hands are below the desk. Oh GOD I don’t want to know why both his hands are below the desk.
Last week we saw a side view of Dustin’s dad’s nipple and I cracked wise about it. Today we pay a terrible price for that. I am very sorry, world, and I will take whatever shunning you feel is fair.
***
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, breaks whatever trademark laws he can. Make it clear that he’s a kid, let Disney’s lawyers have a fit. Hey there, it’s not really Spider-Man!
***
Mainframes didn’t talk so you are teaching fake history, you smug piece of crap.
Unless the courthouse is a long way from the office, it seems like Ed should have plenty of time to get over there, unless he’s forgotten to bring a shirt to work and will have to rig one up out of stapled-together scrap paper like a classic Dilbert punchline. He could go for more of a “sleeveless vest” look if he’s really strapped for time.
MW: Speaking of facial expressions, Brigman’s panel 2 has perfectly captured the hate-induced fugue state Mary has entered to mindlessly cook up dozens and dozens of muffins. In fact, she’s entered such a flow state that there’s not one molecule of batter left in that bowl!
@Bob Tice: you mean currently or the system that produced someone who can write this slop unironically?
C’shaft: Okay, early elementary school kids not knowing anything about computer history, I’ll accept. But not knowing anything about astronauts? Space is one of the biggest “phases” a large number of kids go through, along with dinosaurs and trains. Hell, if you asked me who in this strip would be able to rattle of the crew of Apollo 14, my money would be on off-brand Miles Morales there.
(Typical of Batiuk that he dresses the boy as a popular licensed character, but can’t think of anything the girls might be into and goes with generic “princess” and “witch.” I suppose they could be Glinda and Elphaba from Wicked if you squint and forgive the fact the latter didn’t bother with the green makeup, but I doubt that was the intention.)
Dustin: And that was when Dustdad learned exposure is considered a form of sexual harassment.
@Gil Bates: Fantastic pun.
Family Circus: Haha Billy thinks that voting is a viable way to solve anything.
Phantom: What charge will they hold Eric Sahara on? He’s been pardoned. It’s not a crime to be kidnapped (yet).
@CanuckDownSouth: To quote Dana Carvey, ‘How con-VEE-nient!!’
RMMD: And she’s gonna find the Scam Twins trying to scam some scamee with a scam, right?
JP: Can someone explain to me why Abbey is so frikkin’ upset by all this? Neddy’s a grown-ass adult, who’s taking up space she could be monetizing to pay for her indolent lifestyle. She should be over the moon that Neddye’s picking herself up and getting out!
DT: You call that a CSI-style one liner? You didn’t even whip out a pair of sunglasses!
GT: Gil subscribes to the “deus ex machina” style of coaching.
Luann: Car seat, sure. But getting clothes before you’re out of your second trimester and don’t even know the gender of the kid? Nobody does that. In fact, between baby showers and relatives offering hand-me-downs you’re liable to end up with more onesies than you’ll ever need without spending a dime.
MW: “Why can’t you gossip about your neighbors in a friendly way, like me?”
RMMD: It says a lot that a woman going to Goodwill is the most action this strip has seen in weeks.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hello! Is this the plumber? I have a water leak and I need you right away”
“I’m sorry… I don’t make calls at this time of night”
“But… I’m Don Abundio, the millionaire tycoon!”
“Time for some sabotage!”
Dustin: In Ed Dustindad’s defense, his co-worker’s response is off-the-charts unrealistic. “I can see your nipples!” is what she should be screaming. Nipples I didn’t notice on my first reading of the strip. Nipples I now see every time I close my eyes.
@Ken:
And you can never re-use a muffin-baking panel too often.
Crankshaft:
I don’t read Crankshaft when Josh doesn’t comment on it, because why would I, honestly, but that’s enough for me to know that it’s been doing a whole “topical” thing where a sentient robot is working at Montoni’s. Now it turns out that, actually, computers have been sentient all along, even huge mainframes from the ’60s? Don’t know why Comic Book John has brought a member of this long-downtrodden machine race to the Akron Comic-Con, but it’s not going well.
Crankshaft again:
So judging by that sign this is taking place at the Akron Comic-Con, and yet two of these children are just dressed as, like, generic witches and magical princesses? Halloween’s over, kids, this is Comic-Con! Be like your friend and show off your loyalty to the licensed properties that have dominated the media landscape since before you were born!
FC: All the kids get a worksheet to take home except Billy. He asks the teacher where’s his and as she looks at him looking up with sad, puppy-dog eyes. She takes pity on the poor dolt and says; “Uh, your homework is to make sure your parents vote!”
MW: Mary bakes her hatred into the muffins and then passes them around to the residents to eat along with her sin.
She continues her thought; “Have fun in hell, Suckers!”
Dustin-Will Ed be ready for his meeting with HR when this woman reports him?
RMMD-Oh man this suspense is killing me.
Dustin-“I’m pretty sure I’m having that dream again.” That line won’t work.
I can never remember; was the Bad Faces the “Itchycoo Park” group, or the one with Rod Stewart?
Dustin-“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m masturbating.”
@The Quiet Man:
But how is Neddy going to become an proper heiress if she—horror of horrors—works for a living? Sophie’s a lost cause, what with all her gumption and get-up-and-go, but Abbey’s not giving up on Neddy, not just yet!
@TheDiva:
You have to admit, it’s very on brand for Gil not to know any of the biographical details of any of his players, except maybe Kerri, on a good day.
MW: Mary’s distinctly uncharitable expression gives me hope for, “Charterstone: The Wrath of Worth.”
I can’t wait for a week-long series on Dustin Dad’s appearance before the professional responsibility committee of his local bar. “Of course I recognize the strictures of Model Rule 4.4: In representing a client, a lawyer shall not use means that have no substantial purpose other than to embarrass, delay, or burden a third person . . . . In my defense, I was not representing a client at the time I sexually harassed my co-worker. I was doing it out of my own self-interest.”
Huh; guess my other comment ended up in mod prison.
DtM: Henry explains to his anarchist-cell commander “Yeah, bomb making has pretty much taken a backseat to fixing his toys.”
JP: “Ranch, horses, town but mostly it’s you, Abbey…and don’t get me started on Sam.”
Heathcliff: This art makes me feel uncomfortable.
Crankshaft: Why is there an old computer set up at what I assume is a comic shop’s booth at a convention/Halloween party? When did Glinda the Good Witch and Spider-Man start dating? Why is hair raining from the ceiling in panel two? I guess if I followed this strip I would know the answers to these questions, but that would mean reading Crankshaft, and I find life is more tolerable when my eyes aren’t bleeding.