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In an attempt to be positive despite the cruel oppression under which I suffer, I thought I’d offer some extra-special serial comic-y goodness today. These strips will serve both to amuse and to show those bastards at the Sun how wrong, wrong, wrong their whole decision-making process is.

Apartment 3-G, 12/13/04

This is great. Margo has long ago managed to alienate her roommates, her family, and her clients. Now she’s managing to antagonize even her fellow enslaved garment workers. And if that pissy face in the last panel is any indication, she’s still managing to learn nothing from this whole experience. And why the tree, anyway? I think these guys are pretty half-assed about the whole ruthless-exploitation-of-the-innocent thing.

Mary Worth, 12/13/04

Let’s see … housedress … housedress … choir robe … why, Anna, it looks like you’ve got plenty of nice things. I don’t see why you have to waste your money down at the store!

Now, can Zits match any of that? I ask you.

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Apartment 3-G, 12/11/04

The comics aren’t just entertaining; they also offer models for living. For instance, what social interaction wouldn’t be enlivened by the use of the phrase “More zippers, mule!” Let’s think of a few examples:

TGIFridays waitress: Do you guys want some more jalapeño poppers, or…
You: More zippers, mule!
TGIFridays waitress: Um, OK…

Your boss: Hey, did you finish up those TPS reports?
You: More zippers, mule!
Your boss: Uh, yeah, you’re fired.

Highway patrolman: Did you know how fast your were driving?
You: More zippers, mule!
Highway patrolman: OK, boys, get the taser.

The possibilities are endless!

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Apartment 3-G, 12/7/04

This hasn’t been a very good year professionally for Margo: first she screwed up the PR on Blaze’s play, and now she’s about to be fired from her new job at the sweatshop. Her resume’s going to need some serious dressing up after this.