Post Content

Mark Trail, 4/10/05

Did you know that “Mark Trail” is actually an Estonian word? It’s derived from “Mark,” meaning “smug,” and “Trail,” meaning “tsunami-surviving bastard.” Yes, after four meticulous months of research and the painstaking artistic rendering of piles of smashed old-timey trucks and devastated ’50s-era mill towns, Mark Trail has unleashed its Very Special Tsunami Episode. I love how Mark stands idly by in the first few panels as death and destruction runs rampant mere feet away. I also like the fact that all of his advice ends with “run to high ground.” Weird-looking cloud on the horizon? Run to high ground! No lifeguards at the beach? Run to high ground! Goateed Indian artifacts dealers skulking about? For God’s sake, run to high ground!

Also, good advice on waiting for the all clear on NOAA weather radio. Unless you’re one of the ignorant few who doesn’t know what station NOAA weather radio is on. Or, God forbid, you live in some filthy third-world hellhole that doesn’t even have an NOAA. In which case, screw you, tsunami-bait.

Post Content

In a desperate attempt to stay up-to-date on the dailies, I offer you: “Seven sentences about four comics.”

Mark Trail, 3/24/05

Fresh from battling drug dealers, Mark will now have to choose between making either a famous celebrity or this crazy old hermit cry. I see it as a win-win.

Momma, 3/25/05

Number of Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in the comics pages: 1. Number of tasteful and/or funny Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in comics pages: 0.

B.C., 3/26/05

OK, I know I just said this, but it bears repeating. “What the fuck?”

For Better Or For Worse, 3/27/05

On Easter, this comic makes the risen Christ weep.

(And don’t worry, I’ll pick the best of the haikus soon, I promise…)

Post Content

Mark Trail, 2/25/05

You know, when you go on a long trip, manage feuding love interests, fight artifact smugglers, get knocked unconscious and left for dead by vicious drug-dealing taxidermist/veterinarian duos, and dribble water all over the place for hours on end in defiance of all known laws of fluid dynamics, when you come home, you just want to take off your electric blue sports jacket and relax. You certainly don’t want to deal with the fact that your adopted son has come down with a bad case of hydrocephaly, with his right arm withering to a freakish stump to boot. God damn it, Doc, we leave the kid alone with you for … um, how long has it been exactly? Feels like about a year and a half. Assuming that the freaky little bastard hasn’t become a hideous mutant and that the third panel isn’t supposed to give the reader a window into Mark’s PCP-distorted worldview, I’m guessing that it’s supposed to depict Rusty running headlong towards his returning family members. Though it may very well be the PCP thing.

By the way, Mark’s “Bill is a smart man” comment is probably the single cattiest thing that’s ever been uttered in this strip. Seeing as Mark used to date her too, its implications become more alarming the more I think about it. “Bill’s probably just using her for sex … you know, like, I did … um, wait, did I say that last part out loud?”