Post Content

Mark Trail, 4/17/05

Apparently last week’s killer tsunami was only the beginning of the Mark Trail carnage. This week the focus is on tornadoes, but the topic has really broadened to nature’s wrath in general. And what do we see here? While the puny humans have their seeming superiority stripped away by the awesome power of the winds and rain, the wild beasts, long tormented by mankind, gloat at the carnage wreaked upon their bipedal oppressors. The squirrel in panel three looks positively gleeful about the car being swept away in the flood — perhaps he saw too many of his nut-gathering friends crushed to death beneath its cruel tires! The beavers in the last panel, meanwhile, seem to be taking a more philosophical view of the twister as it tears the wooden homes of men to bits: they seem confident that their dam will make it through the storm, but don’t mind taking a moment out of their busy schedule to watch the plans of their rivals come to naught. The only animal to look panicked by the situation is the dog in the lower lefthand panel — and we all know what happens to collaborators and Uncle Toms when the revolution comes, don’t we? It looks like Mark is trying to get in good with the majestic flying geese and ducks in anticipation of the imminent nature-driven apocalypse.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 4/10/05

Did you know that “Mark Trail” is actually an Estonian word? It’s derived from “Mark,” meaning “smug,” and “Trail,” meaning “tsunami-surviving bastard.” Yes, after four meticulous months of research and the painstaking artistic rendering of piles of smashed old-timey trucks and devastated ’50s-era mill towns, Mark Trail has unleashed its Very Special Tsunami Episode. I love how Mark stands idly by in the first few panels as death and destruction runs rampant mere feet away. I also like the fact that all of his advice ends with “run to high ground.” Weird-looking cloud on the horizon? Run to high ground! No lifeguards at the beach? Run to high ground! Goateed Indian artifacts dealers skulking about? For God’s sake, run to high ground!

Also, good advice on waiting for the all clear on NOAA weather radio. Unless you’re one of the ignorant few who doesn’t know what station NOAA weather radio is on. Or, God forbid, you live in some filthy third-world hellhole that doesn’t even have an NOAA. In which case, screw you, tsunami-bait.

Post Content

In a desperate attempt to stay up-to-date on the dailies, I offer you: “Seven sentences about four comics.”

Mark Trail, 3/24/05

Fresh from battling drug dealers, Mark will now have to choose between making either a famous celebrity or this crazy old hermit cry. I see it as a win-win.

Momma, 3/25/05

Number of Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in the comics pages: 1. Number of tasteful and/or funny Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in comics pages: 0.

B.C., 3/26/05

OK, I know I just said this, but it bears repeating. “What the fuck?”

For Better Or For Worse, 3/27/05

On Easter, this comic makes the risen Christ weep.

(And don’t worry, I’ll pick the best of the haikus soon, I promise…)