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So I slacked off the whole weekend, going off “having fun” and “enjoying myself” instead of posting comics for your amusement. O the shame! And during such a wacky weekend for the serials, too. Here’s a quick recap, one panel at a time:

Tommie and Lu Ann showed off their synchronized head bobbling.

“Brick” House showed off his vocabulary.

Mimi let her cloaking device briefly disengage and showed off the steel hair and terrifying, alien visage that keeps her EON minions in line.

Dr. Jeff showed off his mastery of platitudes.

And Spider-Man showed off … well, I’m not really comfortable talking about what Spider-Man showed off.

Meanwhile, in da hood…

Curtis, 10/17/05

Holy cow, Curtis is getting interesting! First it gets rid of one side of the comics’ least interesting love triangle, then it takes on gun-fueled school violence! No doubt by the time you read this you’ll know who’s holding that gun, but right now I’m on tenterhooks. Is it Chutney? Gunk? Barry? Or just another kid who listened to a little too much “Fortyounce” or “Bullet-Wound,” which is going to result in a Valuable Lesson About Media Violence?

Oh, and speaking of boring love triangles and violence:

Luann, 10/17/05

Yeah, just visiting a pal … in the back seat of his moving car! Seriously, did Dirk just materialize behind Brad completely unbidden and announced? Am I missing something here? Is the Dirk storyline going to be resolved in the only way that will make it all worthwhile: with the revelation that “Dirk” is a figment of Brad’s imagination, a representation of his untrammeled, unrepressed id combined with his repressed homoerotic fantasies? A guy can dream, can’t he?

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Mary Worth, 10/11/05

I’ll translate for those of you who don’t speak Biddy: “Jeff, you’re not going to be having sex anytime soon. But it’ll build character!“

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Mary Worth, 10/7/05

Remember The Abyss, James Cameron’s 1989 sci-fi vehicle? Remember how goddamn annoying it was because it had, like, five endings? Oh, I know, I’m gonna hear “genius” this and “director’s cut” that and “Orson Scott Card novelization” what have you, but my chief memory of it was that it just wouldn’t end. Every time you thought it was over, there would be another ending that we really didn’t need.

I’m beginning to feel that way about the Rita storyline in Mary Worth. First we see that she’s saved by grief counseling. Then we find out that she’s really saved when her cousin comes to take her back to Bumpkintown. Now we find out that she’s really, really saved by the love of an adorable little macrocephalic with a bad haircut. Next week: Rita gets really, really, really saved when she gets her first paycheck from Vic’s store.

Faithful reader Brian Tencza (who is apparently part of a “Mary Worth discussion group”) points out that in Sunday’s installment, a suddenly Jackie O-esque Rita is playing ball with Shanna, who has mysteriously morphed from unattractive blonde to homely brunette:

Brian suggests that Rita has dyed the little Vicling’s hair to enhance the resemblance to her dead, brown-haired daughter. While I’m reasonably sure that this anomaly can be chalked up to the usual coloring sweatshop incompetence, I too would like to think that Rita’s relationship with her second cousin will soon veer into Vertigo-style obsession (“Shanna is such an ugly name! Wouldn’t you rather I called you … Fay?“). Just imagine that Mary’s little wrap-up narrative voiceover has some eerie strings playing behind it for the full effect.