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Comment of the week? Comment of the week!

“Wilbur looks less like he’s out for a brisk morning walk and more like he’s practicing for the Santa Royale Community Theater production of The Music Man.” –TheDiva

Runners up? Hilarious!

“Hey Spiderman! You either managed to find the last nurse in North America to wear a skirt on the job since the ’70s, or you’re talking to a themed stripper.” –Peter of the Norse

“Peter has found a way to be useful which requires him sitting on a comfy chair without taking active actions. This is the best day of his life!” –Ettore

“You’d think Baxter Bat would be the one solving all these mysteries, since the solution is always printed right-side-up from his point-of-view.” –Duke of Earl Grey

“And the coffee pot never tells the truth! You may ask ONE question.” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter

“We can assume Jeffy is the one trying to use a sled on level ground.” –nescio

“Take it down a notch with the one up-man-ship, Coach. It’s polite convo over dinner prep, not the Debate Team Shout Offs or what have you.” –Tonya

“There actually was a Puerto Rican ballplayer named Jorge Padilla; he was a right fielder for the Washington Nationals in 2009. Meanwhile, a woman named Paloma Padilla acted in a short Mexican horror film called Sexxxion Premium, which could explain her anger.” –BigTed

“I can’t help but like Wilbur, especially in today’s comic where I imagine he’s strutting through an empty park while quietly singing the Bee Gees’ ‘Staying Alive’ to himself.” –Escape Zeppelin

“I guess Camp Swampy is backwards enough that they were assigned a phrenologist as the camp’s doctor. Killer should be happy; I’m sure at least one of those bumps will improve his chances with the ladies.” –Dr. Dread

“IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE OF ALL THE CONCUSSIONS!” –Lorne

“Although the choice of a manual-transmission pickup, the uninterrupted diet of RC Cola and Moon Pie, and the callous dismissal of common-sense precautions in the operation of a motor vehicle all help to identify the lifestyle of the driver, what is really telling is the vanity license plate PLUGR. Pluggers have a very low bar of ‘vanity,’ and they can’t spell.” –seismic-2

“‘The history of every war ever fought’ sounds like a fun topic for elementary school history. Are they doing it in chronological order (maybe starting with the Kish-Elam War between rival Sumerian states, or the Nubia Campaign of Pharaoh Hor-Aha), or alphabetical order (jumping from the 9th century Abbasid Civil War to post-Soviet Abkahzian War to the British Empire’s Abyssinian War, all the way to the Zulu War and the Mongolian Zunghar Invasion)? Either way, learning the history of these wars seems pretty open-ended. Elmo will probably have to start learning about the Syrian Civil War by studying the Sunni-Shia schism of 632, but maybe the nice teacher will let him off easy and begin with Sykes-Picot in 1916.” –Schroduck

“Oh, sure. Pluggers multitask behind the wheel and everyone’s raving about how quaint and clever they are. I play Pokemon Go while driving one time, and everyone’s all, ‘Keep your eyes on the road!’ and ‘That man had a family, you monster!’” –JJ48

“I, for one, am very much looking forward to finding out how Jimmy Buffet managed to claim the title of King of the Moon.” –pugfuggly

“I’d like to think that Thel is straight-up changing PJ on the kitchen counter while Jeffy apparently prepares to do his duty down the basement steps.” –lumaca morente

“That’s a guy he’s grabbing in panel 2 and a woman in panel 3. The Lizard will go amok, taking pulses of the entire hospital staff, and revealing this information out loud, in clear violation of HIPAA.” –Hogenmogen

“Yes, Wilbur, Dawn’s history of pursuing extremely unhealthy yet strangely asexual relationships with much older men certainly speaks to what a wonderful job you’ve done as a father.” –Aphthakid

“Roz has always been drawn as incredibly buxom, almost as lovingly detailed as Aunt Fritzi. I assume there is an audience for this type of thing.” –Rusty

“If you are trying to convince me that holding ostrich races with monkey jockeys would be a bad idea, you have failed, Mark Trail.” –Dread

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

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No fuss, no muss: just your comments of the week!

“Mary’s fresh muffins are made with raisins, bran and a lot of love. But mostly bran. These two won’t be worrying about their love lives for at least the next couple of hours, because they’ll be busy fighting over the bathroom.” –BigTed

And the hilarious runners up!

“You can only see a tiny bit of the animal trivia mural he painted on his wall, which reads:

HAMMERHEAD SHARKS
HAVE SEVEN SENSES” –Schroduck, on Twitter

“Joey hasn’t even started going to school yet. You’re not a menace, Dennis, you’re an asshole.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“Chip’s look of disgust in the penultimate panel is priceless. ‘Oh, man,’ he thinks. ‘There go my afternoon plans of swimming naked in the town square, begging the populace for spare change, and siccing my dogs on unsuspecting passersby.’” –Joe Blevins

“This rare blood type, is it purple? Because that’s what’s coming out of Connor.” –Hogenmogen

“I didn’t have Newspaper Spider-Man pegged as a public transit advocate, but what better way to avoid gridlock and reach major employment centers like hospitals than Miami Metro?” –NoVan

“Change dot org petition to prevent any Funkyverse character from ever again being referred to as an ‘Old Baller.’” –Dan

“The Weston family calendar looks pretty empty, now that Wilbur’s erased ‘splashing’ and ‘stalking’ from his schedule. ‘Eating four more muffins’ does not count as a life-plan, buddy.” –Hopesters

“Today Wilbur starts his new book, I Survived but I Wish I Hadn’t.” –Mikey

“No I didn’t misspeak. When I say see him laugh, I mean it. As we’re solely a visual medium void of all sounds. I’m not sure whether to be thankful that I can’t hear these assholes I have to spend time with, or … no, scratch that, I am very very thankful.” –DimensionalOtter

“Giraffes are gentle herbivores but when it comes to Rusty I hope they’ll make an exception.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Ah, I see the squirrels of Lost Forest have finally completed their giraffe-mech. Let’s watch that little bastard Andy chase them now!” –Voshkod

“The Lockhorns are ‘life partners‘ because it’s not legal in their state to marry your identical cousin.” –Miles O’Thrillhouse, on Twitter

“That’s the response of a mom who offered to help earlier in the week and is now smugly watching their child try to complete the project as the bus approaches. THIS mid-morning sherry will be extra sweet.” –Kevin on Earth

“The shovel’s purpose is clear. This is now the only way that Bull can have a bowel movement. If a bear shits in the woods, a Bull shits on the football field.” –seismic-2

“Aside from any of the women at all, is there a duller Funky Winkerbean character than Buck? He’s sort of a lunkhead ex machina.” –Uncle Lumpy

“If Lucky Eddie is literate at all (unlikely) it would be in the rune marks of his people, certainly not in handwritten modern English. I think he’s disturbed because he can only assume the incomprehensible chirography on the woman’s hand is some form of eldritch script and he’s doomed to go mad from even a glimpse of it.” –TheDiva

“Ok, Hagar might lose points for ignoring their illiteracy, but you have to give some credit for the woman’s outfit. Sure, at first glance it looks like a low-cut pink top of today. But they went out of their way to show the whole thing was woven from coarse scratchy fibers, something from before their were more comfortable fabrics. The color would have to be orchil so is quite faded, reflecting a time when such garments would be expensive enough to pass down as heirlooms. And I don’t know that Norse women actually turned away would-be suitors by carrying dismembered hands to set them up with, but it seems plausible.” –pachoo

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

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Hello everybody! It’s the first Friday of the month, so you should come to my live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, if you’re anywhere near Los Angeles tonight! I don’t like to spoil the surprises, but allow me to whisper onto the wind the phrase “bitcoin failures!”

Here’s the Facebook event with all the relevant info!

And now, here’s the always relevant comment of the week!

“The point of AA is to stop drinking with the help of a higher power, not in defiance of it.” –grsblvnyk

And the very funny runners up!

“Look, Honey, I’m Ugly Crystal! Ugly Crystal! It’s not much, but at least it’s an identity. Don’t take that away from me. It’s literally the only thing I have.” –Joe Blevins

“In a refrigerator you can find dead birds without feathers or even skin, cold as ice. Are we having a glimpse into the Perfesser’s dark fantasies?” –Ettore

“Gil scowls grimly and says, ‘Gary is pushing your son toward music,’ much as if he were saying, ‘Gary is pushing your son toward heroin.’ Really, Gil, what do you have against music? I suppose classical music is too artsy-fartsy and feminine, whereas jazz and rock lead to depraved activities such as s-x. It’s much better for a teenager to stick with activities that lead to healthy, masculine concussions.” –jana_ch

“We don’t want specialization. In fact, we’re getting rid of naming the positions like ‘center’, ‘power forward’ and all of that. We are going to train the kids to swarm the ball and score when they can. Classical economics dictates that everyone acting in their own self interest brings a greater result for the whole, right? Well, it’s a whole lot easier to coach that way, so I’m certainly acting in my own self interest.” –Hogenmogen

“I hope that comical spring noise accompanies Spider-Man on his entire parkour-run to the hospital.” –TheDiva

“When you have a patient with a gaping wound, it’s always wise to SPROINNGG him for miles to the hospital! It saves so much in costs on any further medical treatment.” –seismic-2

“The only thing that can bring joy into pluggers’ blighted lives is the memory of past cruelties they inflicted on others.” –Peanut Gallery

“I assume Mark’s referring there to famed archaeologist Howard Carter, and ‘old’ refers not to the length of their friendship but rather the fact that Carter was born in 1874.” –Truckosaurus

“I’m beginning to think true love is a myth, at least for me! It’s like, you cheat on one lousy girlfriend, and suddenly the fates inexplicably conspire to make her no longer want to be with you! I must be cursed.” –Dan

“We can all sympathize with the difficulty of finding high-quality journalism to masturbate to.” –Spunky the Wonder Squid

“Sure, he kisses the oven mitt, then fucks the pork roast. All about balance!” –pugfuggly

“When Good Food Goes Bad tells the tragic story of various meat birds in the Shoeverse and their increasing violent attempts to escape their fates. The Perfesser is right to be depressed.” –Voshkod

“It’s remarkable how Blondie can cook an entire roast in a kitchen with no countertops, cabinets, or sink, but still a little weird that she’s serving it on a tiny table with just one chair. Dagwood must be so grateful because he’s about to devour 10 pounds of beef by himself, while the rest of the family watches in amazement.” –BigTed

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.