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Guys, your comment of the week momentarily, but first, a link to an article I wrote for CSO, about why tech security folks should make friends with networking pros instead of getting mad at them! Can’t we all just get along?

We can all definitely get along with this week’s top comment:

“A ‘juggling act’ that only involves two items is almost as big a rip-off as getting life advice from Wilbur Weston.” –Doctor Handsome

The runners up are also very good:

“Soldiers normally have to go into battle before they get that look in their eyes. The Halftracks are the only people who’ve ever gotten PTSD just sitting on the couch.” –Frank B. Chavez III, on Facebook

“This is a highly suspenseful strip. Mary has to use every subtle conversational hint she knows to convince Wilbur that it’s time to wrap up the conversation and leave her doorway. But she’s met her match in Wilbur, a man who normally has to be dragged away with a hook, vaudeville-style, before he ends a conversation. Who will win: the irresistible force or the immovable object?” –Joe Blevins

“Or maybe, Slylock, and I’m just spitballing here, but maybe no one should drink the creepy witch’s weird potion.” –Lorne

“Wanda Witch claims her other magic potion grants immortality. Slylock asked Max Mouse to test the potion. Why is he a good candidate for testing?” –Chyron HR

“Wait … Mark Trail is going to investigate a boat in the Pacific Ocean. Wilbur is currently headed across the Pacific Ocean to investigate disasters. [sweeps papers off table] GET ME SOME THUMBTACKS AND RED YARN” –Dan

“If I were a plugger I would be drinking spot remover by the gallon.” –Tim Pendergast, on Facebook

“I want to believe the Mob is hoarding Sarah’s books and works for when they kill her. Artist who tragically dies young sells much better.” –Ettorre

“I just love to watch these kids getting clued in to the latest local Art Museum gossip. ‘So Randy, the security guard, porked Cindy, the parking lot attendant, in the Roman sarcophagus in Classical Antiquities! And those mummies on the third floor? Hollowed out and packed with cocaine!'” –Ukulele Ike

“‘Things are not always as they seem, as they say, the best-made plans can go awry. You can’t make a silk-purse out of a sow’s ear or have your cake and eat it too. A wolf in sheep’s clothing is worth two in the bush. Pop goes the weasel like the plague.’ Mary leaned back and chuckled. Wilbur was going to wish he’d stayed in Japan.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Give Mary some credit, it ain’t easy typing an advice column with no space bar.” –lumaca morente

“Useless as a knife at a tank fight, Spiderman still manages to make himself feel a bit better by taking a completely unnecessary dig at his wife. ‘Ha ha, she’s only got the proportional strength of a woman! Guys?'” –pugfuggly

“We may need help with the heavier items, like ALL OF OUR FURNITURE.” –Myrtle

“I love how the realm of nightmares just constantly has spiders plastered onto the background. It’s an amazing shorthand for ‘this place is supposed to be supernaturally horrifying, made of the subconscious fears of all who live, but we don’t know how to draw anything clever like that. You’re scared of spiders, right?'” –Enlong

“Am I the only one who sees a possible Gasoline Alley/Slylock Fox crossover? ‘Count Weirdly brags that he just bought a rare coin from this bizarre-looking, easily excited human being. Slylock examines the coin and says Count Weirdly got cheated. What tipped him off?'” –Chrissy the Stooges Woman

“Dear Wendy, I’ve been through some hard times, but that’s drawn my Mom and me closer together. We now live in the same small apartment, we dress in complementary styles, and we get identical haircuts. We are now even planning on going into business together, and we have moved into a larger space so that we can work side-by-side all day without even leaving our apartment! Now, though, we need a name for our new enterprise. Do you think Tommy’s and Mommy’s is maybe a bit too cutesy-poo a name for a meth lab?” –seismic-2

“Is there any circumstance ever when ‘Deal’s Pawn Emporium, Home of Good Deals’ wouldn’t be a likely place to start? From Alexander Hamilton’s personal journal to a pistol with its serial number filed off, see Doug Deal — he’s dealin’!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“There’s a dozen explanations! Maybe her phone died! Maybe she died! Maybe … no, on second thought I guess there’s really only two explanations.” –Shrug

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hello everybody! I am going to be hosting a new comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, in which the gimmick is that every act must include some material (text, audio, video, WHATEVER) that performers found on the Internet. Do you want to see these performers? Of course! Do you want to be one of those performers? You can be! The first two shows are July 14th and July 28th, at The Clubhouse in Los Feliz, and, assuming all goes well, I’ll be doing two shows a month indefinitely, forever! So I need acts! I have some cool folks lined up for the first couple shows, but I need more! If you have an idea for Internet-based comedy performance of some kind, pitch me at jfruh@jfruh.com!

I did this show once before in Baltimore and it was really fun. Some examples of the acts from that show, to get your ideas rolling:

• A slideshow of the Worst Dudes On OkCupid!
• A dramatic reading of discussion group drama over organizing a furry convention!
• An up-and-coming writer pitches a movie executive on his new film, using the Wikipedia plot summary of an extremely bad movie!
• A guessing game where you have to tell what’s going on in a Craigslist personal ad when all the gender identifying information has been taken out!
• A multimedia spoken word piece based on a series of insane emails a director/crazy person kept sending to the staff of a film festival, even though he was told to stop!

OK, you get the picture! Again, if you would like to be in the show and are free on the 14th or 28th (or future second and fourth Thursdays of the month), email me at jfruh@jfruh.com!

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Hi kids! Let’s get right to the point with this week’s top comment!

“You’re a plugger if you’re a chicken and your grandson is a bear, and you’re hoping the details of your last blood workup will even start to explain how the hell that’s possible.” –BigTed

And the runners up! Very funny!

“This time the reason I’m being bullied is so off! Usually, bullies make excellent points about why I’m a loser! I listen to what they say and I think, ‘Yeah, no arguing with that.’” –Doug Wykstra

“Aww, Leroy Lockhorn sounds just like my dad! Now I’m going to go douse my phone with gasoline and light it on fire so I’m not tempted to call him. Happy Father’s Day!” –a.

“Yeah, it seems as if Dawn and Mary are exercising terribly bad judgment about faculty-student relationships and about bullying, but you’ve got to remember that this conversation has already dragged out so long that they’re probably starting in on their fourth pitcher of gin.” –seismic-2

“The only reason I can think of for Mary to be startled by Wilbur’s appearance at her door is that it’s not the door to her apartment. Wilbur’s just been hiding in a closet for the past 12 hours.” –Peanut Gallery

“I realize that the uniforms in Beetle Bailey are drawn slightly differently as a way to indicate different ranks but … shouldn’t they all be the same color, at least? The impression I’m getting from today’s strip is that the three privates all switched sides and have taken Sarge prisoner, and that look of grim determination on Plato’s face tells me Sarge’s hike isn’t going to end at a POW camp.” –Brad

“Hi and Thirsty walk through an artificial town, where images of people are taped up to windows to disguise the emptiness inside. Are they in the Twilight Zone? Or are they in the Nevada Test Range, in Doomtown, a fake town built to examine the effect of nuclear weapons? Oh, please let it be the latter.” –Voshkod

“I’m pretty sure anyone who met Mr. Dithers would have a hard time thinking about anything other than how short his legs are in proportion to literally every other part of him. Any thoughts he picked up on would just be variations on Don’t stare don’t stare don’t stare don’t stare” –Dan

“If Dolly survives not only the booby traps, but the rolling boulder released when she lifted the bowl of pudding, the Jovitos will worship her and her giant head like a goddess.” –Kevin on earth

RMMD: “The transition from being a strip about a compassionate medical practitioner addressing real medical issues to being about a mobbed-up six-year-old and her amazing ability to make adults do her bidding was long and eventful compared to this rapid shift to being a comic where doughy middle-aged douchebags stand around wanking themselves off over comic books.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“Do you believe in heaven? Or do you believe that, ultimately, we exist in a vast, uncaring universe in which we are born, live, and die with little purpose other than to become one with the dust on a tiny speck of a planet floating in lonely space? Because either way, I’m okay with permanently eliminating you as competition for our parents’ affection.” –Lois Kobb, on Facebook

“And another thing pluggers don’t understand: Metaphors.” –Liam

“Whoa, followed by famed Indonesian film director Justapawni Nabigworld!” –A$MR Rocky, on Twitter

“‘It will make international news!’ I guess putting aged workers in storage bins welded together probably without air-conditioning would be the lead in World Rich Bastard Weekly.” –maltmash3r

“The Six Chix Bechdel test: a) two nameless women b) who talk at each other c) about anything that isn’t remotely logical or sane.” –Irrischano

Also, Effluvius Erratus’s take on recent sad events in Gil Thorp is super great though a bit long for here. But you should go check it out!

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.