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It’s Friday, and you know what that means! Wait, you don’t? Oh, well, it means I pick my favorite comment from out of the hundreds posted by readers of the course of the week, and I showcase it here!

“I don’t have to outrun the lava, Abbey, I just have to outrun you. Or am I thinking of bears? I’m often thinking of bears.” –Voshkod

I also showcase some runners up, as well!

“This whole situation seems predicated on the idea that Slylock lives in a tiny house with virtually nothing in it but a bed and a TV with DVD player. I mean, it’s still pretty good compared to your average fox den, but I would have expected more from the top animal private eye this side of, um, Ace Ventura? Is that a thing people remember?” –BigTed

“That’s an amazing story, Cliff. Too bad we didn’t bring any mics to record the audio. Man, I am fucking this up but good!” –pugfuggly

“Next time you’re impressed to see Leroy dancing the cha-cha with some curvy, toothy girl half his age at a party, be ten times moreso: Remember that (shudder) this is what she is looking at.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I hope that’s a joke. I really do. We don’t have the budget for a 3rd panel, and quite frankly, I don’t have the stamina.” –hogenmogen

“‘Mark, is this it? Is it over?’ Abbey asked pleadingly. ‘It’s over when I say its over,’ artist James Allen sneered before sketching several more panels filled with fire and explosions. Several more panels of flames, just long enough to make it through all this awful holiday cheer.” –Chareth Cutestory

“As a person who once tried to make a living as a freelance magazine writer, I can attest to the complete believability of the current Mark Trail storyline.” –jvwalt

“Oh my, look at Jeffy in comparison to that chair! He is as tall as that picture on the wall. He may not remember the day that will live in infamy, buy Jeffy no doubt was exposed to 1950s radioactive fallout. He is growing in size and will soon bestride the earth like a colossus. Oh, the horror!” –Joe Momma

“Daddy, the man said Pearl Harbor was bombed. Is that like when you come home from bowling?” –Hibbleton

“I have never seen someone stare at a screen so defiantly before. ‘They hope I don’t watch TV, do they? I’LL SHOW THEM!’&rdaquo; –Dragon of Lie

“I am deeply, deeply disappointed that ‘This calls for a selfie!’ wasn’t Selfy’s catchphrase, used whenever he entered a room and at every conceivable opportunity afterwards.” –TheDiva

“Age is just a number, and let’s be honest: since our makeovers, who knows how old we are anyway. Six months ago I was 60-something and hallucinating faces in clouds, now my number starts with a 4 and I’m tipping the bagboy at the Savemart with glimpses of my hot new body.” –Litle Blue Bicycle

“Whoa there. Mary shouldn’t be picking at the Wilbur wound until Mary gets the Zak facts. Little brother is hot and daddy-o Wilbur is not. (That’s what hip hop sounds like at Charterstone.)” –Gabacho

“‘So it really is a lifesaver,’ she said, staring directly at Santa’s ass and wondering what other mysteries it might contain.” –Joe Blevins

“I would have gone with ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’. I also would have taped markers to a wombat’s feet to do the illustration.” –Kevin on Earth

“Fortunately, someone called an ambulance with their cellphone. Unfortunately, the paramedics were too busy watching YouTube on their cellphones to really do much. They did text the hospital to be ready, but the lady at reception was tweeting about the NES Classic Edition, so your daughter waited in the ambulance for 20 minutes upon arrival. Whoops, that’s my wife texting my cellphone. Hopefully she didn’t see those videos I left on her cellphone.” –Super Luigi 64

And I also must give thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hello, all! It’s the first Friday of the month, and you know what that means: it means it’s time for me to plug this month’s Internet Read Aloud, in Los Angeles, which is tonight at 8 pm!

We have lots of funny performers, plus I’ll be talking about the time I first ventured onto the Internet to find love! Don’t miss it! The Clubhouse is at 1607 N. Vermont Ave in Los Feliz, just to the right of the Jons under the sign that says “That’s Shoe Business!” There’s free parking (the Los Angeles holy grail!) and it’s just a couple blocks away from the Vermont and Sunset Red Line station. It’s free! And you can BYOB! There’s literally no reason for you not to come.

Also, you know how I skipped the COTW last week, because of Thanksgiving? Well, I forgot that I had actually been collecting comments during the first part of the week, so those are in this list as well. Apologies to everyone who posted something delightfully funny between Thursday and Sunday. Nevertheless, here’s the week-and-change’s top comment!

“I hope we can have some weeks of Tommy wallowing in self-pity! At 25 he is an ex-con, unemployed and a drug-addict, instead of doing cool things like attending college or dating his mom.” –Ettore

And the very funny runners up!

“Right turkey is pretty proud of his viscerally graphic zinger. ‘Sure our organs are going to be pulled out, put in a little plastic bag, and shoved back into our bodies, but…’ (kisses wing feathers) ‘Le mot juste.’” –Dan

“He left the door unlatched and sat in a chair touching the television (the animals would never know that this was not how humans watched tv), holding his stolen property right on his lap, under the interrogation lamp he’d spent the last of his money to have an electrician install. C’mon, coppers, he thought. Make me talk. You’ll see that I’m the baddest punk you ever met. His one hope was that the newspapers got his name, Sick Smitty, right.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of two million other women

“Nice little bit of fanservice in that middle panel. For those that like the female form: MJ putting on a bra. For those that don’t, a stately portrait of Paul Krugman.” –pugfuggly

“It’s gotta be tough when your the lesser brother in a family of entertainers, but at least Shemp Hemsworth is finding work. Perhaps this run on Mary Worth will set him up as the ‘dramatic’ brother and he will find more. It will be small stuff on other quirky indie projects, but he’s gotta bide his time until Marvel realizes the utility of writing in a part for Thor’s younger, more dramatic brother.” –Mighty Captain E

“As you know, but as the vast majority of the audience has little hope of knowing…” –Majicou

“‘Fooom’ clearly stands for ‘fucking boom’ but Mark Trail is a family strip, thank you very much.” –Ruth McIlhenny Gormé, on Facebook

“You know I can’t look at him! He’s just too … beautiful, radiant. He’s like a toasted sandwich angel fallen to Earth. That’s why I’ve created this stalker wall all about him. Oh, Panini, you will be my sandwich some day.” –Voshkod

“Look, Mrs. Lockhorn, we all signed a blank piece of paper with a pencil. We won’t even cover for your husband’s concave head.” –Zooty

“I used to cruise Main Street with all my friends. And by ‘all’ I mean ‘both.’ And by ‘friends’ I mean ‘some guy with a buzzcut and the only kid I knew who was geekier than me.’ And by ‘cruise Main Street’ I mean ‘sit behind what is clearly a cardboard cut-out of a car and pretend we were cruising Main Street.’ Those were the days!” –Horace Broon

“Good. I’m thinking of retooling The Chambers Affair as a vampire romance. Those still popular?” –Kevin on Earth

“The way the models and drawing style are shifting, Rex Morgan, M.D., is on its way to becoming Rex Morgan, Vampire Impersonator.” –Steve S

“Despite expectations Michael isn’t touching that cupcake. He realizes this is a preview of his life for the next few years: everyone else stands far apart bickering with each other while he’s left to his own devices. ‘The apocalypse and the coming reign of my true father, Satan, as foretold by the Book of Revelations can’t come soon enough,’ he thinks. Then, in frustration, he throws the cupcake on the floor.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“I wonder if the social media monitor has any other functions, like making ‘Are You A Tracy or a Ketchum? Take This Quiz to Find Out!’ posts on Facebook.” –The Diva

“Henry is upset because once he gets glasses he’ll face his poor choice of drab olive shirt tucked into blue patterned pants” –Philip Moon, on Twitter

“Oh, hey! I guess so! Ha ha, coincidence, eh? Anyway, where is Tommy now if, say, one were an old friend looking for him for entirely non-drug-related reasons?” –James Dowd, on Facebook

“At first I misread panel two as ‘but the poo kinda soiled it.’ My deepest apologies to the authors for trying to punch up your dialogue.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Of course I went to Leningrad in summer. No one goes there in winter. Are you an idiot, McCarthy?” –hogenmogen

“The second panel shows Shoe in his true demonic form in the pink nothingness of Hell. He has no legs and floats around on a purple snow saucer. In the third panel the woman is not impressed.” –nescio

“‘Cliff Anger’” was a kid who loved the Starbuck Jones serials, went insane, and now believes he’s the original Cliff Anger. Everyone falls for his delusion because they can’t bother to do any research. (‘Mr. Anger, Google says you were born in 1916 and died in 1959. How do you explain that?’ ‘Young lady, the hero only seems to die in these cliffhangers! My survival is more fantastic than mere science fiction!’ Cindy Summers would buy that.)” –Droopy Says

“Jeff’s dickishness is matched only by his wife’s feigned ignorance, as she clearly does not want to look for work. ‘Oh, okay, I guess I could get a job … if you think it would help our financial situation. I mean, do you think that’s what our financial situation really needs right now? More money? Okay, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here.'” –BigTed

“As disgusting as it seems, I think Jeff actually takes pride in the messiness of his underwear drawer. It’s as close as he’s come to creating a work of art. That underwear drawer is his Guernica.” –Joe Blevins

And I also must give thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.

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GUYS! Uh, did you know that last week was a big schedule-disrupting travel holiday? That’s why I didn’t post a comment of the week post this past Friday, sorry, I’m sure your comments were all very good, but I’m declaring a COTW-Picking Amnesty and giving handsome Harry Backstayge an extra week.

Speaking of things I’m behing on, I’m still finalizing the line-up for this month’s installment of The Internet Read Aloud, but I can guarantee this: it’ll be good, and in Los Angeles on Friday at 8 pm. You should come!

And I also must give thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.