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Hey there! If it’s the first Friday of the month, it must be time for me to plug today’s installment of the live comedy show I host in Lost Angeles, The Internet Read Aloud!

This month, we’ve got: Mary Sues! Unsolicited emails! TV’s Alf! MUSICAL GUESTS! And much more! Here’s the Facebook event, if you like those! We’re at the Clubhouse, which is at 1607 North Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz — it’s in the shopping center just the north of the Vons (just to the left, as you’re looking at the storefronts), under a sign that says “That’s Shoe Biz!” (There’s a smaller sign that actually says “The Clubhouse,” but it’s hard to see unless you’re up close.) Lots of free parking and an easy walk from the Red Line! Don’t miss it!

Also! I’m gonna be packaging up everybody’s tote bags this weekend, so if you want one and haven’t filled in the form with your address, please do so! And if you haven’t received the email with the link to the form, please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com!

And now, your comment of the week!

“So, the police spent zero time investigating the missing child that Crankshaft forgot was on his bus, but rushed out immediately to handle this soaping business. Looks like Cranky is enjoying rich rewards for helping his pal lose the last mayoral election.” –Aphthakid

Plus your runners up! Very funny!

“And that was how Cindy and Mason forged their suicide pact.” –TheDiva

“Amazing throwaway-panel-near-emotional-reversal on Hi & Lois. It makes it seem as though the kids think they’re going to get some joyous family togetherness time before Mom crushes their hopes. But look closer at the red tension patches on their cheeks, unchanging in the subsequent panels, their timorous smiles, the slight hunch in their backs — they’re just putting a brave face on it. Deep down they know what the next four panels will be like.” –matt w

“Of course, a sure way of retaining youth and health is exposing as much skin as possible to those life-giving UV rays!” –bbofun

“That diagrammatic arrow in the third-to-last panel kills me. They really didn’t trust readers to understand the basic physics of this stunt. Trust me, anyone reading Dick Tracy on a Sunday has probably seen The Blues Brothers once or twice.” –Joe Blevins

“Rope? Check. Sacrificial animal? Check. Blade? Check. Innocent child? Check. Faux piety? Check. I don’t think Snuffy’s trick-or-treating at all; I think he’s trying to recreate the Binding of Isaac.” –Schroduck

“Today we learn that all you have to do to convince Mary Worth of any half-baked idea is spout two unrelated platitudes at her in close succession, causing her circuitry to overload so she goes into a feedback loop of her own advice.” –Steve S

“‘Travel the world for twelve months’ is how the Maryverse writes out a character for about 17 realtime years.” –Johnny Knuckles

“What’s sad about today’s Phantom is that Lavender Sweater Guy knocking on the door and politely asking if he can come in is, like, the most tension the strip has seen in MONTHS.” –Kevin Forest Moreau, on Facebook

“The jar is no doubt empty as Stropp’s mortal remains sitting atop a musty old locker has long been used by an unwitting janitor to clean up a spill or absorb some freshman’s vomit in the gym. Once this has been realized, Les will quip: ‘Well, Coach Stropp was always absorbed by the action on the floor.'” –Joe Momma

“In order for this strip to achieve peak Funky, it would require some weak attempt at wordplay: ‘Good thing that didn’t remain up there — if I had forgotten I would be ashen faced. He urn-ed the right to be treated better than that. Whew, got those out just in time; here comes the stroke that will rob me of the ability to speak.'” –Nekrotzar

“A nice capper for Wilbur’s ‘I should probably tell my daughter I’m leaving for a year, oh, yeah, where is she, anyway?’ afterthought would be if he imagined a totally different woman while thinking it. I vote for Tyler Perry’s Madea.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I legit read Mary Worth’s caption as ‘Wilbur decides who Hell will inform next.’ Which, although not exactly grammatical, would be a super plot twist. And I, for one, would read the Mary Worth spin-off Wilbur, The Voice of Hell.” –Victor Von

“No, she isn’t playing on them. She never interacts with us in any sort of play or fun. She says that’s why I have siblings so she can have her grape juice.” –Chareth Cutestory

“I love that the hardworking zookeeper with the disdain for elitist politicians looks like he stepped right out of a 1930s Soviet propaganda poster. ‘Your attempts to join the petty bourgeoisie will be for naught. When the revolution comes, you will not be spared.'” –pugfuggly

“Welcome to another exciting episode of Jordan’s Wide World of Meat.” –Pozzo

“Who knows what adventures Selfy will have between now and the time an elephant sits on him?” –Chyron HR

“Since this is Funky Winkerbean, I assumed that ‘snap’ was the sound of Bull’s tibia breaking.” –Lawyerbob

“I would find it extremely satisfying if Bull’s trip-and-spill sent him into an apoplectic rage whereupon he proceeded to punt the urn and its remaining ashes between the goal posts. If he then dropped dead of a heart attack/ghost curse, that’s fine, too. Say, do you think Lisa and Stropp are bangin’ in the afterlife? If so, can I be the one to tell Les? How do ghosts do it, anyway? I feel like there should be an orgasm/ectoplasm joke in there somewhere, but I’m too lazy. I may have spent too much time thinking about this.” –The Might Untrained FOOZLE

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hello everyone who donated to my Fall pledge drive! You should by now have received an email from me thanking you and, if you donated enough, providing a link to the form you need to fill out to get your handsome tote bag. So far significantly fewer forms have been filled out than there are eligible donors, so if you didn’t receive the email with the link for some reason, send me an email at jfruh@jfruh.com and we’ll get this worked out.

Post Content

Hello, all! If it’s the last Friday of the month, it must be time for me to plug the next installment of the live comedy show I host, The Internet Read Aloud!

This month, we’ve got: Mary Sues! Unsolicited emails! TV’s Alf! And much more! Here’s the Facebook event, if you like those! We’re at the Clubhouse, which is at 1607 North Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz — it’s in the shopping center just the north of the Vons (just to the left, as you’re looking at the storefronts), under a sign that says “That’s Shoe Biz!” (There’s a smaller sign that actually says “The Clubhouse,” but it’s hard to see unless you’re up close.) Lots of free parking and an easy walk from the Red Line! Don’t miss it!

ALSO! I have fallen behind on thanking everyone who gave to my fundraiser and finding out if you want a tote bag and if so where to send it. Huge apologies! I will be getting to this by early next week, I promise!

And with that out of the way, let’s enjoy this week’s comment of the week:

“The reference to ‘ice princess’ has to be deliberate and not generic, for if there is one immutable lesson of the soaps it’s that the men are dopes and the women are ice princesses. To get there, it starts with role playing.” –GDBenz

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Mary has cleverly taken to wearing camouflage to blend into her surroundings.” –Rusty

“Is Dennis the Menace being self-referencing? By which I mean, is he pointing out that the DtM comic was built with supreme durability and will still be running in some form of medium when such newcomers as Pearls Before Swine and XKCD, and indeed all of us ’mugeons, are being consumed by worms? Very menacing indeed.” –Nekrotzar

“This could be the quintessential newspaper Spider-Man strip, if only Peter were saying ‘Guess I should have figured that out for myself’ while at full size and sitting on the couch.” –Steve S

“Check out the facilities: I live right next to the very edge of reality! Yep, I can take a piss directly into a milky void beyond the very concept of time and space. This might be the very pinnacle of canine achievement.” –pugfuggly

“If therapy works out well for their marriage, later this weekend this couple is going to put on some smooth R&B, light some pumpkin spice candles, and just blast pumpkins seeds all over the bedroom. Most terrifying: whose seeds do what in reproduction and how and why and I can’t stop this thought experiment nightmare now” –Chareth Cutestory

“So we discover that the pluggers who read the comic strip Pluggers and send their stories are an élite of pluggers who has learned how to read and write, but only use these intellectual tools to express the feelings of their fellow pluggers. They are the organic intellectuals of pluggerdom, in a Gramscian sense.” –Ettorre

“I’ve noticed that the excitement level in this strip is inversely proportional to the number of hot pads that show up. At six appearances this week alone, we are descending through ‘Platitudely Benign’ into ‘Insufferable Tedium.’” –Mikey

“Well, disaster is looming, but at least with that second panel Wilbur has cover art for Comin’ At Ya, the solo album he made in his bedroom with a PC and a keyboard. If you were going to ask, ‘If it’s a solo album, then how come Mary is in the picture?’ then you, my friend, do not know Mary Worth.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“‘My interview subjects were very gracious… considering the circumstances!’ In a rare moment of self-awareness, Wilbur acknowledges that he is repellent to all other humans.” –Here come the Judge

“It looks as if Thel got tired of waiting for her kids to use the bathroom, and just went ahead and installed facilities in the living room. If that isn’t a ‘reading the paper while on the toilet’ stance, I don’t know what is.” –BigTed

“I’d cut Private Blips some slack. Look at her desk. It’s a solid slab of oak with no place for her legs to go. The poor woman is in constant pain. Let her have this … whatever the hell she’s doing.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.