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Welp, it’s Friday, so that means it’s COTW time y’all!

“The robin’s grotesquely distorted size was yet more disorienting when I thought those cats were cows, which confusion was abetted and compounded by the entirely disproportionate house in the background and the overall cracked-out composition. Also it’s January, which is like very much not spring. I guess what I’m trying to say is I really miss Apartment 3-G.” –Violet

It’s also hilarious runner up time!

“I honestly would have expected a plugger’s bucket list to be, well, a list of buckets.” –Dmsilev

“Q: Why is Wilbur’s face distorted so that it occupies nearly the full width of the laptop display? A: It’s a Mercator projection, and he’s near the south pole.” –A Concerned Reader

“Dennis’s hipster ensemble really sells that he intends to mooch off society for his entire life.” –Jon Bennett, on Facebook

“As healthy as a horse. You’ve seen The Godfather, right, Rex? Remember how healthy that horse was? Yeah. We understand each other now.” –Voshkod

“Since I’m up an hour earlier than I wanted to be, as a result of having to catch a live squirrel not much smaller than my cats, which nonetheless one of them managed to haul into my bathroom, I have to say I think Josh is underestimating the both the courage and stupidity of cats.” –Duke of Earl Grey

“‘And we’re going to leave the store without paying for these Freezy Bombs.’ ‘As long as we respect them? Absolutely.'” –Super Luigi 64

“By the way, ‘Freezy Bomb’ is Gil Thorp street lingo for a Slurpee laced with powerful hallucinogens.” –Steve S

“Aaron’s mom looks like she’s struggling to remember who’s who and what’s going on in this strip. Finally, a character I can relate to!” –pugfuggy

“Pop quiz, hotshot. Your idiot spouse has just received two backhanded compliments in a row and is just dumb enough to take them as regular compliments. How many seconds do you wait before destroying him? One? Five?” –Joe Blevins

“I love that you diagnosed Aaron’s mom with the vapors! Perhaps we can see her lavishly drawn fainting couch… er wait, this is Milford, so it is likely a Bauhaus-ian metal-framed vinyl loveseat.” –Skeltometer

“That’s funny. But seriously, the ukulele is just a hobby. Anyway, did you know the medical industry in Nashville is estimated to be more than six times larger than the music industry? That’s why I’m headed there to see a specialist about my grotesquely misshapen thumb.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“They should get matching tattoos of Mary Worth. We should all get matching tattoos of Mary Worth!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“What’s the matter about showing the Phantom’s face on a stamp? It will still be a mystery, it’s not like anyone is using stamps anymore. Speaking of which, they could also show his face in the comics page.” –Ettorre

“Hey boss, we got two more security clearance requests here. Should I do any cursory work to look into these guys’ past, or, you know, look at their faces even? Or should I just go ahead and rubber stamp them? Rubber stamp them? Okay then.” –The Penultimate Silent Panel

“The Brush and the other feller with much less impressive facial hair (the Toothbrush? The Mascara Applicator?) represent Dick Tracy’s most terrifying villains yet — as their uniforms make clear, their mission is none other than the abolition of the Thai constitution and the restoration of the absolute monarchy of Siam. Will Tracy be able to defeat them, or will he decide, actually, that’s just the sort of thing he could get behind?” –Schroduck

“I admire the precision of Brush’s gloating. How many scheming bad guys would take the time to say they were going to come away with ‘$1.25 million?’ Most would just say ‘a ton of money’ and leave it at that. Tomorrow, we can look forward to Brush calculating the tax implications of his heist.” –Randy

And I must give a huge thanks to all the extremely kind people who signed up to be a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter, put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! I’m taking a moratorium on ad buys because we’re still tweaking the ad slots, but look for exciting ways you can advertise on this site come 2017!

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Hey there! Would like a COTW? Of course you would! Here, enjoy:

“This is Molly, my girlfriend from Tilden! We met while we were both trying to get our hair to do this thing it’s doing.” –Ukulele Ike

And enjoy your runners up as well:

“…of PHONE CANCER.” –Applemask

“Slylock Fox encourages children to develop their reasoning and mental faculties. Max thinks that books are only good for sitting on.” –Ettorre

“We’re not properly appreciating the Funkiness here. This is an obvious three-panel joke; take panels 2, 5, and 7 and you have the misunderstanding, the overreaction, the ‘punchline,’ boom. Batiuk runs it on a Sunday so we can have five panels of Funky’s panicked despair and life-threatening driving on the ice. It’s like if you took every classic Peanuts and inserted four panels of Charlie Brown wordlessly crying.” –matt w

“He was probably afraid she cracked her head open on their recently installed stainless steel driveway.” –Super Luigi 64

“As much as the animals can emulate humanity’s clothes, writing and institutions, they still haven’t mastered the finer point of subjects like medicine. Internal injuries? Bandage to the head! Diabetic shock? Bandage to the head! Irrational distrust of the animal medical establishment? Bandage. To. The. Head.” –pugfuggly

“Isn’t this really the quintessential Spider-Man strip? A bottle episode where three popular Marvel characters, two of them supposed superheroes, bicker over who has to drive a car, nowhere near the action or even any interesting scenery.” –Steve S

“How did the dog crack his head due to a subway stopping short,? Does he mean that took a tumble while riding the subway when the brakes were applied too quickly? If so, does he regret having adopted the precarious upright nature of a biped?” –Rev Tardigrade

“‘Can you imagine a great artist like Monet having to cater to a bunch of idiot tourists? To my mind, there’s nothing quite as contemptible as a tourist. They’re the lowest form of life on earth. That being said, let’s continue with this tour.’” –Joe Blevins

“Under old artistic regime, Harlan looked like the sort of guy who’d explain the ‘facts of life’ in a grainy 70s filmstrip. Now, he looks like a Catalan bullfighter enjoying an evening off in la discoteca. Not sure which version I prefer, honestly.” –Schroduck

“The only thing that could make panel one even more perfect would be if one half of Harlan’s mustache were dangling in front of him, its glue loosened from sweating.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Why are you dating some hot guy instead of my dad? Okay, never mind, question withdrawn.” –Chyron HR

“Dawn’s entire outfit, from the off-black colors to the lite-bondage choker and studded leather wristband, suggests that for some reason they still have a Twilight collection in the juniors’ department at Kohl’s. Of course, when you’ve lived at Charterstone, you know all about emotional vampirism.” –BigTed

“Oh, that M. Night Shyamalan! He’s still got it.” –Aphthakid

“My joke was going to be based on how this plotline about everyone getting tired was also making me tired, but I scrapped that idea because I don’t want anyone to mistakenly think I’m feeling sympathetic towards any of these characters.” –Chareth Cutestory

“A tip for Buck: People normally just pay after they receive a product or service. You don’t have to convince the service provider that money is useful.” –A Concerned Reader

“Fortunately, Mark won’t be able to see the horrible comments as his UNIVAC doesn’t have internet access.” –Andrew

“Look how grim Mark looks when he brings up the Internet. He’s found a problem he can’t solve by punching someone in the face, and it is shaking his identity to the core.” –Drew Funk

And I must give a huge thanks to all the extremely kind people who signed up to be a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter, put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! I’m taking a moratorium on ad buys because we’re still tweaking the ad slots, but look for exciting ways you can advertise on this site come 2017!

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Hey, everybody, just wanted to keep you updated on some tweaks the inimitable Adam Norwood and I have been making over the past week or so. We think we’ve got a handle on the major bugs, as described below; if you’re still seeing some of the stuff on this bullet list, hold down the shift key and reload the site to clear your cache, but if you’re still seeing them after that, email me at jfruh@jfruh.com and let me know! Here’s the bug list:

• We’ve fixed the layout problems that were causing some posts to extend past the right edge of the browser window for some users. This should in particular fix the problems that people were seeing when getting to the site from Facebook or Twitter on the iPhone or iPad.
• The layout and header should now work much better those using IE10, Pale Moon, or older versions of Safari on the iPad or iPhone.
• The pagination links (“older posts”/”newer posts”) make sense again when you choose the “oldest first” option on the Advanced Archives page.

Speaking of the Advanced Archives, we’ve also restored the Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery to that page; reload it and get a new link every time!

This should do it for layout bugs. We’re going to do a bit more tinkering with the design of the site, in particular the left-hand nav bar, in the coming week or so. Stay tuned for more info!

Finally, I want to say a huge thanks to everyone who signed up to be a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! I hope you are enjoying your ad-free, editing-enhanced experience; the design tweaks in store will improve the ad-free version of the site as well. For more on becoming a supporter, start here!