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Hey all! I have another article I wrote that I think is pretty fun, if you like True Tales of Corporate Chaos: “How to keep IT security together in a company that’s gone bankrupt.” Corporate failure involves a lot of drama, it turns out!

But maybe your idea of fun leans less towards “articles about IT” and more towards “live comedy that involves the Internet?” Well, if you’re in the LA area, good news: tonight my monthly show of Internet jokes is at its new great time (Friday at 8 pm) and same great place (The Clubhouse in Los Feliz, which has plenty of free parking and is close to the Metro Red Line). And it’s free! Get in on it!

Here’s the Facebook event!

Oh, what’s that? Your actual idea of fun is the comment of the week? Well, I’ve got one of those for you too, and it’s great:

“Well, Spidey, I know here we are shrunk to few inches and encased in polymers by Egghead, a scientist who loves technology, but it’s nice to see that Hank is tied up to an old kitchen chair with some hemp rope. Egghead still appreciates the classics.” –Joe Momma

The runners up are also very funny!

“The many punches to the head Sarge has given him over the years have rendered Beetle practically deaf. The sound of mid-century artillery is as a lullaby to him.” –Bryan J. Simmons, on Facebook

“Pluggers is funnier if you assume that he’s just desperate to see the football scores while the font-page headline he’s looking at says, ‘FRANCE DECLARES WAR ON PORTUGAL’ or ‘PRESIDENT INDICTED.'” –Doctor Handsome

“Perfect, I bought a million dollar mansion so you can hang out in a 3′ x 5′ crawlspace. Well, the dog is getting you room.” –pugfuggly

“I was going to make a joke about Dog Plugger using the little blue pill to alleviate his elbow pain for ‘sex’ but I didn’t want to visualize a hunched over geriatric dog masturbating to racy chicken pictures but then it happened anyway.” –Mikey

“You’re a plugger if you explain your jokes even though they’re built on what you believe to be universally recognizable stereotypes … because your audience has a high incidence of old age dementia.” –Amake

“Sarah Morgan knows that you start small. She’s studied these things. Hitler tried to start a coup from a beer hall. Genghis and Attila started in tents. This little space, the cupboard beneath the stairs, from here she would start her empire. ‘I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space,’ she whispers, before putting her child’s mask back on. ‘Mom! Dad! Check this out!’ As her simpering father croons some soft words, she considers what she would carve into the walls of this haven: ‘The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.'” –Voshkod

“I assume tomorrow’s Judge Parker will pan over to a dramatic reveal of Sophie in a swivel chair. ‘And Sophie Spencer does not tolerate incompetence!’ [trap door button] Why? Fuck if I know, but Judge Parker characters are all two panels of character development from billionaire super villain at any given time, so why not.” –Dan

“Panel two finally gives us some classic Judge Parker T&A. That’s ‘tears and ass,’ naturally.” –Joe Blevins

“Having shrunk your enemies down to ltty-bitty size for some reason that has to do with being Ant-Man’s nemesis, some fixation with ltty-bitty people, there are several fine ways to kill them. Squoosh them with your thumb. Putting a glass over them and watching them run out all the air might be fun. For god’s sake, man, there’s a magnifying glass right there, and two bugs: do the math! But, no, Egghead has decided that the way to handle this would be to make little rectangular molds, get some kind of epoxy that does not need to be heated to skin-searing temperatures, and put them on the table to talk to them. All to show off the fact that he has neato ‘magnifying goggles.’ There’s still hope that he might flick their heads off with his fingernail, but frankly, that hope is dimming.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“That doctor is obviously new to the Dick Tracy universe. Not only does he not appear to have a pun-based name commenting on some personal disfigurement, he has also neglected to frame his diagnoses in a turn of phrase that acknowledges his patient’s pun-name. ‘Coffee is cooling off in the OR … but he isn’t iced yet!’ See! How hard is that? And this man somehow got a medical degree.” –Doug Wykstra

“I wonder what’s going on over at the Daily Bugle right now, especially since its owner has been more preoccupied lately with keeping three separate men tied up in his hideout. I guess he’s just really good at delegating.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Were the documents properly notarized? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!” –The Cranky Tank, on Twitter

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey all! As noted Friday, comments weren’t working for people using the mobile version of the site for a while last week, but the indefatigable Adam Norwood has now gotten that fixed! If this was a problem for, you please check them out to see if it remains a problem (it shouldn’t, but you might need to clear your cache to get the fix to take hold). Apologies again.

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Hey all! First off: I’ve know there’s trouble seeing and posting comments on the mobile version of the site. I’m not really sure what’s going on, and Adam my web design guru is at a conference this week, but hopefully it will be resolved soon! Huge apologies.

IN MORE FUN NEWS: You are probably aware of my monthly live comedy show in Los Angeles, The Internet Read Aloud, because I keep telling you about it! BUT DID YOU KNOW: it’s on a NEW NIGHT at a NEW TIME — the first Friday of the month at 8 pm, to be exact? So no more complaints about “Oh, it’s on a school night” or “Oh, I can’t get there after work in Los Angeles’s notorious traffic!” Now you can drive there in a leisurely fashion and park in The Clubhouse’s huge free parking lot, or perhaps take the Metro Rail Red Line to Vermont and Sunset, and enjoy a weekend evening of Internet-based comedy fun!

There’s also a FUN NEW POSTER, created by the great Matt Lubchansky. And our next show is ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT, and has many extremely great acts!

Here’s the Facebook event, if you like those!

OK! And now, here’s our comment … of the week!

“When an object shows up in Charterstone, it’s a clear signal that the object is no longer edgy. Farewell to the hipness of square plates.” –Poteet

And your hilarious runners up!

“And now we continue our lengthy story of two powerful superheroes trying, and nearly failing, to get places. Oops, Elihas Starr already took over the world, aided by his newfound control of the press and a reliable Toyota Camry.” –BigTed

“I thought ‘Whoops!’ was something you say when a cashier is giving you change and you drop some of it. But if you’re sufficiently chill, I guess it’s also something you say when you fall off a cliff.” –A Concerned Reader

“Look, just because you put it on a coffee mug does not mean Dick Tracy is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” –Dragon of Life

“I’ve always pictured Hagar the Horrible as a strip that’s mostly a (spoiler alert!) Jacob’s Ladder-style hallucination. The occasional strip with see with Hagar and Eddie on a tiny desert isle — that’s the reality, with both of them the survivors of some horrible cruise ship disaster, after which they were able to save themselves by latching onto a trunk filled with a few Viking-themed props set aside for kjøttboller night. Everything else is just a hallucination from one of the two dying men, which explains not only the strip’s anachronisms but also why their world seems less rooted in a deep knowledge of Viking history and more like what someone would come up with after riding Maelstrom at Epcot once.” –Mike

“Moving on now, Congresswoman Bellowthon. What do you say to the accusations made by some that with your powdered wig, pearls everywhere, and ruffled shirt cuffs that you are, in fact, a spy dispatched by King Louis XIV’s court?” –Chareth Cutestory

“I’m having trouble sleeping too. If you can explain how Plato fits his oversized body into that grotesquely undersized baby bed, maybe I’ll stop having nightmares.” –Steve S

“I’m positive Zero is masturbating in panel two and that’s horrifying and everything, but we can pretend he just has a thing for female bears, a fetish that ranks more towards the ‘normal’ spectrum at Camp Swampy.” –Irrischano

“There’s something that makes me laugh about the image of Ant-Man and Spiderman stealthily keeping their heads down even as they awkwardly hoof it across this spacious lawn up to the house, in full costume, whispering loudly to each other about their secret identities, seemingly planning to just knock on the front door and shrewdly proclaim ‘Candygram’ like SNL’s Land Shark. At least there will be a fine, fine picture on page six of tomorrow’s Bugle showing Elihas Starr blowing off Spider-man’s head with a sawed-off shotgun through the peephole.” –Jack loves comics

“Two bedrooms for the kids, two bedrooms for home offices, a bedroom for June, and a lab for Rex where he works late into the night trying desperately, against hope, to reproduce human-like emotions.” –pastordan

“In a mounting state of cultural panic, Crankshaft’s wordplay grows ever more desperate. ‘Do they offer Ballet Parking? If this were in outer space, would they be Dancing with the Stars!? You Make Me Feel Ted Danson!?!’” –Peanut Gallery

“Weird that June should feel the need to emphasize the word ‘play’ when she mentioned ‘a loft for the kids to play in.’ Maybe Rex was thinking, ‘A loft, eh? That might be a good place to set up a sweatshop for the children. I wonder how many iWatches a baby could make in an hour?’” –Joe Blevins

“At last! I, Egghead, have captured Ant-Man! By shrinking him! Which is kind of what he does all the time, so he already knows how to use it to his advantage! Plus he was probably going to do it some time after entering my house, anyway … But, hey, at least I shrunk Spider-Man, too! Because everyone knows that the only thing better than a spider you can see is knowing there’s a little one hiding in your house somewhere and you have no idea where it is… I’m– I’m really bad at this, aren’t I?” –WLP

“I’m a 20 something ex con with a debilitating addiction living in a bland condominium complex with his mother, dumped by his girlfriend and fired from his menial labor job. So almost entirely irrelevant to our culture’s economic, political and cultural interests, yes. Surely. But not technically dead, in biological terms.” –James Dowd, on Facebook

“I’m glad these two newspaper birds are cracking wise instead of investigating that mass grave right behind them.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“It takes a special kind of dad to see his child and dog enjoying a carefree existence, and decide to put a stop to it by putting that child to work.” –Red Delicious

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.