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Hey guys! I think I am going to revive a tradition I once had, where in my Friday metapost I plug some stuff I’ve written elsewhere, because why not? Surely you like me and therefore want more me, right? Anyway, here’s some stuff:

• For MEL Magazine, I just wrote an article about the little-known legal industry that allowed a weirdo billionaire to bankroll Hulk Hogan’s lawsuit against Gawker. Also included is why you’re suddenly hearing the phrase “vaginal mesh” so often lately (spoiler alert: hedge funds). A few months back, I wrote an article for MEL about why you really, really should pay your quarterly taxes if you’re a freelancer, newly relevant with the Q2 tax deadline just weeks away.
• I’ve also been writing some tech slideshows for CSO, on topics like why certain kinds of cyberattacks seem to come from certain countries, how the computer security breaches of yesteryear seemed more chill than today’s, and the unique security challenges that arise with working with teens.

OK! Look for more links like these in the future, assuming I write more things! (If you would like me to write freelance stuff for you, in exchange for money, feel free to email me!) But until then, here’s your comment of the week:

“‘Incidents lead me to believe too many people are lacking in some way!’ If art history doesn’t work out, Dawn’s got a great future as a lyricist for Morrissey.” –Esther Blodgett

And the very funny runners up!

“I cannot get over how much I enjoyed that panel! Spin-off idea: Sarah Stinks. A goat butts her into a glue-filled sewer.” –Adam, on Twitter

“Meanwhile, outside a recently renovated home in a newly upscale neighborhood on the edge of downtown, a young boy and his dog stagger into the yard, trailing blood. ‘We got shot!’ Mom: ‘That does it! We are definitely moving to the suburbs! Carl, get the hydrogen peroxide – that’s the new sanitizer, you know. We’ll probably need a compress and tourniquet as well.’” –cheech wizard

“Incidents lead me to believe too many people are lacking in some way! We need to dramatically reduce the global population.” –nerionaya, on Twitter

“Count Weirdly likes his robot servants to be clean shaven — so what? You might suspect that he’s up to something unsettling and odd with those smooth, smooth hairless robots. Just cause a guy is named Weirdly you assume that there’s something going on there … with those … smooth, bald, shaved, obedient, so very smooth robots. You’re projecting!” –Chareth Cutestory

“Mom’s last words were ‘I know that my Redeemer liveth.’ Ha, just kidding. They were that you were always a profound disappointment to her and Dad.” –Ukulele Ike

“You hear that, Del? Jumbo orders! So you get back to the plant and start rendering those elephants: we need 500 gallons of pachysolvent by Monday!” –pugfuggly

“‘Christ, what an asshole’ is to New Yorker cartoons as ‘Pluggers long for the sweet release of death’ is to Pluggers.” –Mike

“That big fluffball snoozing in front of the TV is actually pretty cute. Who’s a depressing metaphor for the ultimate meaninglessness of existence? That’s right — you are, Kitty. Yes you are!” –Mustang

“It’s fun if you pretend that Mary already talks way too loud, and that the bolded words are her just shouting in a small room, as older people do. ‘I SAID IT’S WORTH KEEPING. KEEPING. KEE-PING.'” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“The best way to illustrate ‘How much is your relationship with Harlan worth to you?’ would be Mary rubbing her forefingers and thumb together, hinting that she could make it happen for as price.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“DAWN: …and dare I say spiritual?
MARY: No, dear.
DAWN: (lowers gaze) Yes, Mary.
MARY: (sips tea)” –Dan

“I’m guessing that, being the oldest person in the community, nobody in town is going to publicly reprimand Walt for anything anymore. I mean, who would want to be seen telling the town’s oldest person to do (or stop doing) anything? Basically, that cane is diplomatic immunity in golden, club-shaped, weaponized form.” –Brady

“If only there was a wolf I could throw you both to, Papa Keane thought ruefully. He’d be my goddamn hero.” –Voskhod

“Heart … attack? Is that a type of cancer?” –A Concerned Reader

“Barstool malfunction.” –Midtown

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Just a brief, sad post to note that Momma creator Mell Lazarus passed away yesterday. I believe the strip has actually been in reruns for some time, so I’m not sure how much longer those will run. I liked to make fun of the strip, obviously, but it definitely had a distinct and honestly very weird sensibility that I enjoyed.

Anyway, this is as good a place as any to repeat my very favorite anecdote about Momma, which is that the strip’s title character was very obviously based on Lazarus’s mother, but she somehow convinced herself that it was based on her sister. RIP Mell.

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A quick note on the fundraiser that just passed: yesterday I put all the tote bags in the mail, so you should be getting yours soon, if you asked for one! If you gave more than $25 but never got an email from me with the link to the page where you can tell me that you want a tote bag and where I should send said tote bag, let me know!

And now without any further ado, here is your comment of the week!

“In Dawn’s defense, I think Wilbur’s attempts to use a smartphone would be pretty hilarious. I would follow the hell out of his Instagram account, @sad-wiches.” –Dan

And here are your hilarious runners up!

“‘There are lots of new mirrors … everywhere.’ Neddy isn’t looking sadly uncomfortable because of the sexual implication, it’s because she only has one fucking mirror in her bedroom in which to admire her breathtaking visage, and it’s not fair.” –tb4000

“Another example of the Mammal Supremacy mindset. The pets for sale are all birds, reptiles, and fish. Come the revolution, that warm blood will flow in the streets!” –Ukulele Ike

“Of course, I’m biased… I love cows! Their big noses, their soft eyes, those funny swinging udders. Anyhow, you say that this cow is going to put your dad in jail?” –pugfuggly

“Ha-ha, isn’t their unhealthy, mutually destructive relationship crazy? Anyway, I got to go; text me if someone gives us money.” –TheDiva

“Rocky and Godiva’s argument is over as quickly as it started (argument began June 4th, 1998, and again on June 7th for Sunday only readers).” –Dragon of Life

“No, I will not trade husbands! The same rental agreement applies as always, $100 an hour and $150 if he wears the policeman’s uniform.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“This is one of those strips that could go on for a few more panels. ‘Yeah. Beeper. Good one. So, uh … who do think’s calling him? His wife … or widow now, I guess? I bet it’s his widow. Crock?'” –Joe Blevins

“What’s menacing is that Mister Wilson can’t recognize performance art when he sees it. Dennis has been spraying water in the air for an hour now while Joey sits there, hammer hovering but never hitting, frozen in indecision. It’s a stark and bleak statement on public education, but wasted on that philistine.” –Voshkod

“I don’t trust the curriculum standards in Hootin’ Holler, especially not for a history test. They’re probably just word scrambles of slurs that fell out of favor sometime around 1880.” –Irrischano

“A thoughtful Mary Worth reads her own comic strip.” –Pak-Man

“The debate may make the front page, but the real story is how the Santa Royale economy is booming, based on the lengthy help-wanted section and depiction of new four-story live-work condo developments. If Dawn decides to leave school because of her no-sex scandal, surely there’s a job waiting for her at a company that makes high-tech fitness trackers and appreciates an employee who has experience doing yoga and has heard of parkour.” –BigTed

“Neddy had the dressmaker’s dummies sculpted in her image by the finest craftsmen. (They of course were willing to do it gratis, the pleasure of copying her perfect bosom its own reward.)” –Lacey Wooton, on Facebook

“OK! Time to sit down and draw panel one. Let’s see, ok, we need a computer monitor … big rectangle … (Oh, but I also need to focus on Neddy’s sweet gams…) Ahem! Yes, computer monitor … uhh, another rectangle. (Mmmm those sweet, sweet gams…) Rectangle!!” –Chareth Cutestory

“Also, why does the Snuffy Smith family have a framed postcard reproduction of a Barnett Newman lithograph? Did Snuffy wander into MOMA, thinking the name stood for ‘Market O’ More Alcohol?’” –SamECircle

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.