Post Content

Hey guys! I know I’ve been nudging you gently, but it’s been a few weeks since I nudged you hard that, if you like my blog, you will probably like and should read my novel, The Enthusiast! One of the plot threads involves an online community obsessed with a soap opera comic strip and may seem familiar to some of you. Other parts are about trains, marketing, integrity, joy, and How We Live Now. I think you will like it a lot! It’s gotten a bunch of really nice reviews on Goodreads, and if you want a sample, you can read the first chapter on Medium or listen to me read the third chapter on the Catapult podcast. Once you’ve done all that, you’ll obviously want to buy it; you can get it in hardcover or softcover form from TopatoCo or in ebook form from Gumroad (DRM free! all formats!) or the Amazon Kindle store.

But wait, there’s more! If you only buy books when you get interact with their author in real life, well, I’ll be doing a book tour through the northeast US in late April and early May! Pencil in one of these dates, please!

April 26: Upshur Street Books, Washington, DC
April 28: Atomic Books, Baltimore, MD
May 2: The City Reliquary, Brooklyn, NY
May 5: Talking Leaves Books, Buffalo NY

If you haven’t bought a book yet, have been thinking to yourself “Oh, I keep meaning to buy Josh’s book,” and can make it to one of these readings, I would urge you to hold out and buy the book there! I would love to get as big a crowd as possible at the events and have as many book sales as possible there to make it worthwhile for the hosts, who are very graciously putting up an event for a self-published author.

ANYWAY! With that all out of the way, let’s laugh heartily at this week’s comment of the week:

“Oh, it seems the Commissioner is calling for the mysterious hero known only as Gullman. Excuse me Mary, I have … an appointment.” –Dan

The runners up will also prompt guffaws!

“This is the ‘nursery,’ Dr. Morgan! Please don’t let the fact that I’m extremely old but still have a crib in the house bother you. Say, have you ever heard of a sexual practice called infantilism? My former lover Franco Wallace sure has!” –BigTed

“I don’t follow Gil Thorp so those names are just a list of things to me. Maxwell, Kenzie, Leisl Ishii, Stacy Duford! Winter Blast, Central City! Snow slide, zipline, music, trouble! It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!” –TheRealAaron

“Neighborhood pinhead? My neighborhood doesn’t have it’s own pinhead, and I pay outrageous HOA dues! I wonder how I can get Cilla to throw in this pinhead for free? Maybe by answering all her questions in the tersest manner possible and smirking. That usually does it.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“That jester, man. That jester in the lower right corner of the last panel. That guy … I don’t trust that guy. He’s able to transition too quickly from juggling to bloodlust. Most people need a few seconds for that.” –Joe Blevins

“So, Curtis’s parents partake in Chess Sex? ‘I’ll move my bishop to the desired space, hehe.’” –DimensionalOtter

“You know, guys, if you have nothing to say, it’s perfectly okay to just be quiet and not say it.” –bourbonbabe, unbuckled

“Meanwhile, Max Mouse is deep in thought. ‘Should I aim for blackmail, or identity theft?'” –Peanut Gallery

“Look at Slylock Fox: the hat, the cape, the exaggerated lean. I just realized he’s not a detective; he’s a stereotypical 1970s pimp. Even the name fits.” –Steve S

“No, we don’t serve ‘Margaretas.’ Now shut up and drink your Margropolitan.” –Doctor Handsome

“Based on Jeff’s expression in the first panel, ‘You would know, Mary!’ is coded speech for, ‘Help! A scorpion crawled up my pants leg and stung me in the ass!’ That will never happen, though, because it would be an interesting plot point, something that is expressly forbidden.” –AhClem

“This was the future of the Keane family compound, the boy child who was to lead them? Her brother was an idiot and Dolly knew it. Oh, in time he would take the throne but it would be Dolly who held the true power. She would manipulate him as easily as she manipulated the social workers who visited them weekly. Having tamed the dragon of 3rd grade math, the mind and will of Billy Keane would prove no challenge, no challenge at all.” –EscapeZeppelin

“And, number one on the list of the ten most unnecessary things to say to someone crossing an unstable rock bridge over a chasm: ‘Be careful!'” –lumaca morente

“Aren’t homework assignments for early elementary school-age children typically on brightly-colored worksheets, not a scattering of looseleaf, legal pads, and accordion files? I think Daddy tricked Billy into doing the taxes this year.” –Irrischano

“In his heart, Rex knew that his BMW’s electronic key wouldn’t lock the old man’s mouth, but he felt compelled to try anyhow.” –pugfuggly

“If someone doesn’t close that portal to the Dimension of the Gulls, Santa Royale is going to be buried under feet of bird crap. Which, taking all things into account, would probably be an improvement.” –Voshkod

“In every first panel in this series, Jeff has a look on his face like he has no idea what Mary is talking about and no idea how to respond. He’s just guessing what to say, knowing he has to say something and hoping that it doesn’t throw Mary into a murderous rage or, worse, draws her meddling eye to him. The second panel reflects his gut-wrenching relief that he guessed right — the vertiginous gratitude one might feel after just avoiding being hit by a train.” –Lawyerbob

“Usually, someone who says ‘I’m Dr. Worth … at your service’ with that facial expression is about to sell molly at a rave.” –Steve S

“Yeah, if there’s anything preverbal toddlers hate, it’s watching people dance and sing on TV.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“No, this isn’t the exact same strip we’ve been running for week now. This version has an ad for Honda in it. Cha ching! Who’s lazy now, sukkas?” –Aphthakid

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas: Veteran Comics Curmudgeon fan Donald Saxman has a new Kickstarter campaign ad for an HP Lovecraft monster fighting role playing game set in Texas in the roaring twenties. Even if you aren’t an RP gamer the “Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas” adventure modules are interactive fiction and the Texas sourcebook should confirm all your most horrible suspicions about the Lone Star state. If that doesn’t sell you, haven’t you every wondered what would happen if the steam-powered Battleship Texas fought the ancient giant Deep One Dagon?
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

Every week I read the week’s comments and pick the best one. This week is no different! Here you go!

“Sure, a trade school can teach the mechanics, but a general education in the liberal arts with a focus on communications allows for a richer implementation of torture. Any man with a hot poker can burn a prisoner, but it takes a deep familiarity with Foucault to know that torture is a ceremony — a public spectacle, really — meant to make the results of the secret investigation public and to reflect the violence of crime in the body of the accused.” –Sam Greelee, on Facebook

Also: runners up. They’re funny! Enjoy them!

“Heathcliff kills a fish, well, that’s just something cats do naturally. But in the very next panel, it’s a little disturbing to see a cat fucking a birdcage. (‘Little’ as in ‘hugely.’)” –Bruce Arthurs

“Oh–hee-hee! ‘Ms.Powers,’ that’s my mother. Call me Cilla. How’s your tea? Are you drowsy yet? Forget that I asked that last part.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Dennis is menacing us all with the antiquated notion of the gender binary!” –adhesiveslipper

“I was born here! I never lived anywhere else! I died here, back in 2007, and my body is buried in the basement! I’ve been haunting it ever since, and I’ll continue to do so until it burns down. Now, let’s talk about the closing costs!” –seismic-2

“Seems like dad has the right tactic: act as disinterested and obstinate as you can early and you’ll probably lose custody.” –pugfuggly

“The sheet of paper is a script. Camp Swampy is staging a production of Herb and Jamaal: The Musical.” –A Concerned Reader

“I scheduled you an appointment with a marriage therapist. Not me though. My half of the marriage is fine.” –Doctor Handsome

“I’d rather read a hundred Marvin strips about his dad’s hemorrhoid than one in which Mary Worth thinks about achieving simultaneous orgasms with Jeff.” –nescio

“Theory: the balloons are disappointed in their custodian and are trying to sell him at a rock bottom price, to no avail.” –Funkula, on Twitter

“Talking animals are one thing, but Boog’s familiarity with the legal system terrifies me. Has he been studying the law searching for loopholes? What potential crimes are being developed behind those black soulless eyes?” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘They won’t believe an owl’s testimony! No one gives a hoot about what you have to say! Whoooo do you think you are, anyway?’ [screaming begins as talons rip into eyeballs]” –Voshkod

“Did you know that owls participate in their own form of scrapbooking? They regurgitate pellets of undigested parts of their prey: bones, fur, feathers, hair, etc. Each pellet, like a scrapbook, tells a unique story of the contents of an owl’s recently eaten meals.” –Ned Ryerson

“I think the torturer was probably trying to tee up a question about his student loans, so he could heat up the brand and drop a ‘feel the burn’ pun, and now he’s all mad that he couldn’t follow through. ‘Fine. My major. It was communications. Look, piss off, I’m gonna go torture this guy.'” –Dan

“For a second I thought the glass of water on Jeffy’s nightstand was symbolic, like a ‘half empty, half full’ perspective kinda thing. Then I realized a glass of water is probably the best present someone like Jeffy deserves.” –Irrischano

“They say that if you rub Jerry the Waiter’s dome, your odds of scampi poisoning will decrease!” –Lacey Wootton, on Facebook

“What’s worse than being a man in your 50s still working in a wood-paneled casual seafood restaurant, providing $11.99 Salmon Specials to people who are far more financially comfortable than you? Having to do so in an ill-fitting tuxedo.” –BigTed

“Well, Crankshaft isn’t here, so I guess I’ll have to deliver a really labored malaprop myself. I want you to know in advance that I don’t feel good about this.” –Joe Blevins

“Rex is so bad at genuine human interaction he hasn’t noticed he’s wandered into a serial killer’s lair or that the little old lady is actually a middle aged man in a drooping skin mask. But hey, free antiques!” –EscapeZeppelin

“Claudia is once again made tremendously uncomfortable as the only woman in a car full of men talking about women’s bodies. ‘If that’s how they talk about Blondie, what do they say about me? And is Dwitzell leering at me or just trying to join the front seat alpha men with his eyes?'” –Adam Menendez

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas: Veteran Comics Curmudgeon fan Donald Saxman has a new Kickstarter campaign ad for an HP Lovecraft monster fighting role playing game set in Texas in the roaring twenties. Even if you aren’t an RP gamer the “Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas” adventure modules are interactive fiction and the Texas sourcebook should confirm all your most horrible suspicions about the Lone Star state. If that doesn’t sell you, haven’t you every wondered what would happen if the steam-powered Battleship Texas fought the ancient giant Deep One Dagon?
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

This week’s funniest comment? This week’s funniest comment!

“Mary, I haven’t shaved my chest hair since you left. Now it’s like a forest down there. Just an FYI.” –Hogenmogen

The hilarious runners up? The hilarious runners up!

“Am I gonna f*ck this fish? You betcha. Are we gonna eat it after? You betcha. We’re Vikings. We’re gross.” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“Now here’s a manager who’s truly lost all control of his staff. ‘Don’t show up. Sleep until noon. Steal. That’s right, ignore me and start fucking each other. Have a big gross worm orgy right here in the conference room. It’s because I said it’s OK. I’m the cool boss.'” –Doctor Handsome

“You ever get the feeling Slylock keeps Max around just so he has someone to foxsplain these logic puzzles to?” –TheDiva

“In the world of Slylock Fox, fish are fully-sentient citizens. Yet, the detectives are carrying a fishing rod. They’re going to a ‘lakeside crime case,’ alright. But not to solve it. They’re planning on committing delicious, delicious murder. And on playing the ukelele, apparently.” –G. L. Dearman

“Ah, the Sunday comic. In comparison to the weekday strips, a seemingly infinite amount of space. I could fill it with witty banter, nuanced character development, pile up the gags, or even go full Watterson and use the space to create genuine art. [draws three panels of Francis sitting in a ski lift] Nailed it!” –Alan

“Can someone explain to me how birds who live in a tree are driving at all? What are they driving? Where are they driving? How are they driving? Oh, I get it, they’re driving us — driving us mad, that is, trying to work out how their world works. More than reckless, Your Honour, it’s downright homicidal.” –G’Quan

“I wanted to be an astronaut, but I touched down at Foofram & Co. No? Let me try again. I wanted to be an astronaut, but my career launched me to Foofram. Still no? Never mind; if you need me I’ll be in the garage with the car engine running.” –Nekrotzar

“As Gil and Mimi begin to get intimate, he whispers sweet nothings about Wake Forest University. At some point tonight they’ll simultaneously cry out ‘Muggsy Bogues, class of ’87!'” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Help me, Coach Kaz. I need to buy a house in 1978!” –Lorne

“For all the years living the ‘human’ lifestyle, sometimes pluggers just can’t help getting in touch with their roots sometimes. Unlike his ancestors, however, Mr Bear will be administering his own tranquilizer after he’s done with that trash.” –pugfuggly

“Arms crossed with dour expression. You’d think Jeffy of all people would recognize the warning signs of an impending temper tantrum.” –Kevin On Earth

“You’re a plugger if you use awkward grammar, apparently. ‘Hey honey, I found in the neighbors’ trash you are throwing away my shoes of tennis. Explain me this?'” –made of wince

“Solid or liquid assets? (Dear God, I’m so sorry.)” –Proteus454

“Good morning, everybody! Please take a moment to think about Sarge’s ass. Now, let’s all go out and have a stupendous day!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“It’s almost tragic to see that Sarge allows himself the slightest of smiles in panel one, as if to say, ‘This is nice. Just me and the guys, hanging out, enjoying each other’s company, the politics of the workplace temporarily set aside. Maybe this is the night my life turns a corner and I’m finally able to start forging meaningful friendships as an adult.’ Beetle ruins it all, of course, and for what? His joke elicits an angry scowl from Sarge and no reaction at all from Killer. Was it worth it, Private Bailey?” –Joe Blevins

“The dynamic in Mary’s and Dr. Jeff’s relationship is easily the single most real thing in the entire strip. She takes off for New York to be with friends she rarely sees and passively ignores him. Meanwhile, given his freedom to cat around Santa Royale, Dr. Jeff quickly and adroitly turns the narrative outward with an aggressive inquisition that puts Mary on the immediate defensive by essentially questioning her fidelity while keeping her from asking about his exploits. This is literally the subtext of every divorce that’s ever happened.” –GDBenz

“Does Tom Brokaw still know how to talk? I need a recording of him reading Mark’s panel one dialogue.” –Irrischano

“Mark works on the escape plan, while Gabe takes over the Having Facial Expressions Department. Guess which fella is working harder?” –made of wince

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas: Veteran Comics Curmudgeon fan Donald Saxman has a new Kickstarter campaign ad for an HP Lovecraft monster fighting role playing game set in Texas in the roaring twenties. Even if you aren’t an RP gamer the “Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas” adventure modules are interactive fiction and the Texas sourcebook should confirm all your most horrible suspicions about the Lone Star state. If that doesn’t sell you, haven’t you every wondered what would happen if the steam-powered Battleship Texas fought the ancient giant Deep One Dagon?
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.