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Let’s waste no time and get right to the COTW!

“One can almost hear the white-furred man-beast’s laments as it struggles to comprehend its situation. Whether it’s the loud alarmed bleat of the second panel, the rapid series of uncomprehending grunts in the third as it smooths its fur, or the distraught bellowing cry of the final, this truly is a natural spectacle as engrossing as it is disturbing.” –G’Quan

The other top comments were also very funny!

“This is just ‘platform sharing’ the way auto makers use a single chassis, like the ‘K Cars’ of the 80s, to create a line of multiple vehicles. In this way MacNelly can share the frame of ‘cranky-ass-old-people-complaints’ to produce both the Pluggers and Shoe lines of emotionally entropic dissatisfied humanoid-animal entertainment products.” –James Dowd, on Facebook

“Wow, Mary’s going to bring together a couple who actually did overreact to a small-ish fight, instead of trying to repair the relationship between a stalker and his target or an emotionally abusive alcoholic and her husband who’s been sober ever since he left her or two people who each have a small bomb planted under their skin that will explode if they get within 1 foot of each other. Is this the sign of a new Mary, a Mary who, instead of exercising good judgment, is just thrown softballs by the writers?” –Alex Blaze

“To add realism to this plot point, the reason Neddie and Whats-Her-Face knew the family was coming home early was because the RV park called to inform them they were giving them more free money. You have to admire Judge Parker’s dedication to internal consistency.” –BurtusJ

“Mary will of course use verbalizations of her little PSA’s as in panel one to exact a terrible revenge on Toby. ‘For a fresh, clean scent sprinkle baking soda on the carpet before vacuuming.’ ‘Remember to wash guests’ sheets in hot water every day!’ ‘Potpourri makes an excellent cover-up for the stench of failure and half-baked artistic visions.’ ‘Salmon is the perfect color for food. ALL FOOD MUST BE SALMON.'” –pastordan

“And so it begins. Les will soon discover a myriad of digital ways to keep Lisa’s memory alive: web pages, blogs, Facebook memorial pages, YouTube, Twitter accounts, etc. The Internet will be awash with links with video clips announcing ‘At 10 seconds I smiled, at 30 seconds I began to weep. You will not believe what happened at 60 seconds! It will break your heart!’ Think of the joy it will give Les knowing that he can spread Lisa’s misery virally and on a global scale.” –Joe Momma

“You can TRY to keep your doorknob clean and nice, but most of them wear out after 6-9 months, and you just have to replace them. It’s what Big Doorknob wants — they call it ‘planned obsolescence.'” –Red Delicious

“So you deliberately phrase a question into an unnaturally passive voice, and then think the punchline? Come on, woman; commit to the premise. ‘You see, what I’m getting at, is that she sniffs her own shit and eats vomit. She humps strangers and is easily distracted by noises. Just like a Greyhound bus. Your mother. I’m talking about your mother.'” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Wait, are they having a wine and casserole supper? Let me take an inventory here. No plates, no silverware, just a bottle of wine, three glasses, a casserole dish, and at least one napkin. Is that how rich people live?” –Joe Blevins

“I had assumed that Les had already transcribed all of the ‘Immortal Lisa Tapes’ onto a solid gold disc and had it launched on a spacecraft destined for the center of the galaxy so that Lisa will still exist long after the sun has collapsed on itself. Someday, far, far in the future an alien race will discover this treasure trove and catch cancer from it.” –Mikey

“You can have that pearl of wisdom and 49 more, in Ed Koans: Philosophical Musings of the Angry and Senile.” –pugfuggly

“I can’t believe he threw the money card at me, Mary! As you so helpfully point out to me on a daily basis, I have a thousand other glaring personal flaws! You’re the only one who really gets me.” –Doctor Handsome

“Mr. Wilson made his money the old-fashioned way. Sure, he underbid us and took the job we should have had, but as long as we don’t have to pay for this ice cream ourselves why should we give a shit?” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Judge Parker: “Neddy is about to learn the same lesson that Napoleon was taught at Aspern-Essling in 1809. Don’t underestimate the difficulty involved when making plans involving a Danube.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“Ken needed a special suit outfitted with a dorsal fin to protect his beautacious pony tail. Always protect the pony tail.” –Tonya

“Momma looks off … I think because Momma and Mary Lou are the exact same height and I didn’t recognize Momma without her hat. It would indeed be a tragedy for Momma to grow out of her dwarfism, only to die days later.” –DimensionalOtter

“[Panel one] is exactly what someone says when they are about to break into a song and dance number. ‘It’s SHOWTIME!!!'” –Tigernan Douglas Quinn, on Facebook

“So few wear pince-nez eyeglasses without a cape. Bold fashion move, HL.” –Dennis Jimenez

“Evidently, she embezzled all the furniture.” –Pozzo

“Yeah, remember all those ‘10 People You Hate to Work With’ listicles that mention the Embezzler? Some people make every meeting about them, and some people steal hundreds of thousands of dollars, am I right? Better hope your boss isn’t the Wrecker of Global Economy!” –Steve S

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey guys, just wanted to keep you updated on the progress of my novel! I’ve now received the manuscript back from the copy editor, need to review the final changes, and hope to send it to the designer next week. Much more interestingly, though, I now have COVER ART for the book, which I am EXTREMELY excited about! It’s by Matt Lubchansky, a great cartoonist and otherwise awesome person, and it’s FANTASTIC, and here it is:

Who are all these people? What are they doing on this subway platform? Who are the mysterious “Ladies Who Lunch” lurking in the background? You will have to wait until the book arrives to find out … but that won’t be too much longer now, either for Kickstarter backers or for people who just want to buy it. EXCITING!

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Hello all. I thought you would be interested in knowing that in just a few short hours, my lovely wife and I will be taking a trip for our anniversary (our tenth! can you believe it?). We’ll be driving a few short hours up the coast to Santa Barbara, which, as you may or may not know, is the setting for Mary Worth, thinly disguised as “Santa Royale.” Will our vacation be ruined by meddling? Will I need to fend off the sexual advances of suddenly single Toby? Should we stop by the university and follow the loud sobbing noises to Ian’s office? Should we avoid the crime-ridden boardwalk?

Anyway, it’s only a few days and comics will post here on schedule because I’m dedicated like that. How could I not be, considering how great you are? Here, this week’s top comment demonstrates the amazingness of my readership:

“I’d like to see a new comic focused on those two security guards in Rex Morgan. Bob Cut and Taco Boy are: Exposition Cops!” –Voshkod

The runners up are also extremely funny!

“Do you ever get the feeling at the start of school that we’re all just passing through? Because I sure don’t! I’ve been here forever, through at least four major shifts in hairstyle trends, and I’m starting to doubt whether even the sweet embrace of death will free me from this horrible prison.” –ratnerstar

“Whenever an ancillary character like the brunette security guard is so clearly drawn from life, I have to wonder: is the artist trying to work in some friend or relative, or did King Features Syndicate have a contest I didn’t know about? Maybe it’s a reward for long-time King employees. ‘As you know, Gladys, we’ve had to end our 401(k) matching program due to dwindling revenues, so instead we’re letting you be the one who says I gave him his security badge last week! in the Sunday Rex Morgan. Congrats!'” –Joe Blevins

“Meanwhile, we get to see the result of Charterstone’s new ‘Park anywhere you want!’ policy.” –seismic-2

“You’ll be like the Kardashians — but with IQ points. Look, they’re good at publicity, but they can’t stat up a character for shit. You need to dump Strength and Charisma and go all in on Intelligence, and think ahead: do you see yourself as more Conjuration or Illusion focused? How important would you say an extra first-level feat is for you?” –Carter

“It would be weird if political campaigning during work hours was what finally got Crankshaft fired. Kind of like how they nabbed Al Capone for tax evasion.” –TheDiva

“Ah, Mississippi Ken: Daisy Duke hair, Boss Hogg car.” –pugfuggly

“Milton’s not the man he used to be, but he can still get it up if he thinks he’s banging his secretary. And I need a legitimate heir if I’m going to prevail in this proxy battle over the long term. Senility does have its advantages. Guard the door, will you, Jordan?” –cheech wizard

“I believe that is supposed to be a 1970 Monte Carlo adorned with what I think is the skull of a juvenile Beelzebub.” –Steve Philip, on Facebook

“Nice portrait of Toby with Ian photo-bombing his own wife.” –Rusty

“Hagar may look comically inept, but his martial prowess is such that in between panels he’s switched his sword from his right hand to his left, discarding his shield in the process, AND still swung with enough force to produce that clonking effect. Also he, uh, has a sword stuck in his groin? These guys were TOUGH.” –Adam C

“Yeah, I’m getting pretty sick of being a skydiving instructor, actually. I only had one customer this week, and it was a mute cat. It paid me in dead birds. It’s almost as if I have no reason to exist. Yeah, that’s why I’m wearing this ‘MEH’ helmet—got that from the cat, too. SO glad you asked, Mom.” –made of wince

“[record scratch] What? Apartment 3-G turned into a lesbian humiliation porno so slowly … no, no NO! So quickly!” –Baka Gaijin

“By the way, Les, let me be the first to tell you that you died during the reunion! That’s right, Mister I-can’t-dream-of-saving-my-beloved, welcome to the afterlife! Now get into that classroom, shove your smirk up your ass, and teach those kids until they all earn a passing grade! You’re in English-teacher Hell, douchebag!” –Droopy Says

“Remember, job seekers: in today’s economy, no one wants to hear about where you see yourself in five years or what a team player you are. ‘I have lots of money in my bag, take as much as you need’ is the phrase that will set you apart from the competition — prospective employers find that ‘nice.'” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Holy shit, Namor’s not fucking around this time! Did you see that pile of severed heads?!!” –Doctor Handsome

“I have chosen to make this announcement here, on the lido deck of the Carnival cruise ship ‘Partius Maximus’, instead of the United Nations because I could not resist the bounteous all-day buffet.” –Aphthakid

“Yeah, people will be swarming to work making clothing, a traditionally low-paying job, in a bunch of precariously piled reconditioned shipping boxes. Any mention of air-conditioning? This might be the dictionary definition of ‘sweatshop.'” –maltmash3r

“Please tell me this is all building up to some sort of Comics Sweeps Week Crossover Event. On Monday, Mary Worth (now unemployed in her own strip) leads the charge of seniors seeking jobs at Neddy’s factory. Sally Forth is brought in as VP of Human Resources, at a salary that allows Ted to buy real light sabers. (Hillary’s boyfriend John is ultimately revealed to be the secret son of Abbey and a gangly stable hand, and thus the one true SpencerDriver heir.) With her garment industry experience, Margo is hired as floor manager; shipping containers randomly disappear, only to be replaced by church spires and Hoboken smokestacks. Meanwhile, in Ohio, cancer.” –boojum

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.