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Are you ready for the weekend and your comment of the week? I hope you are! Here it is!

“The best thing about today’s Judge Parker is Panel 2, where Neddy stretches her incredibly long, slender, and smooth patrician neck out to almost its full 15-inch length. Marie looks at that neck as she thinks about the French Revolution, and she smiles.” –seismic-2

And here are some hilarious runners up, please enjoy them as well!

“My Little Hilbilly: Inbreeding is Magic” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Les actually forgot to get the license when he married Lisa, once she was mostly recovered after being caught in a post office bombing set by a right-wing terrorist. His student Susan Smith saved his hash by intervening with her father the judge. The family thought they owed him one because he saved Susan’s life after she attempted suicide in despair over the fact that Les loved Lisa, and not her. Efforts to turn this all into a musical comedy have so far been unsatisfying.” –jasper jinx

“Purty girls like me, Snuffy! I mean, like. Since I’m three feet tall and dress in outdated formalwear, most gals just assume I have magic powers and have been summoned forth to grant ’em three wishes. It’s a notion I don’t immediately dispel.” –Joe Blevins

“Babies come from beavers, right? I really am pretty sure that’s how it works.” –agony

“Heathcliff ladies, you have no right to judge other people’s life choices when you’ve worn a formal business skirt with matching blazer to the beach. I guess you never know when a power lunch will break out and you’ve got to be prepared.” –Escape Zeppelin

“You know for a kid named Rusty, your jaw doesn’t seem to very locked.” –Hugo Drax, Jr., on Twitter

“A whole family of babies would be a disaster waiting to happen. I doubt they would last an hour.” –Felix Gilman, on Twitter

“They’ve brought an ottoman to the beach. Bods or not, their dad status is assured.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘Where’s Margo?’ ‘As usual, she’s at work. By which I mean, this exact same room, but presumably somewhere else.'” –Jack loves comics

“Ha ha, rich ambitious people like Neddy don’t waste their time getting ‘degrees’ or ‘credentials’ before putting their plans into practice! The Parker family motto is ‘Those who can do, those who can’t learn’ (followed by a condescending guffaw and a swirl of a martini).” –pugfuggly

“Of course Neddy Parker has a Master’s in Structural Engineering. Hell, it takes that and her Doctorate in Differential Geometry to put on her bra each morning without a sexy, sexy disaster.” –Voshkod

“Can we reflect for a moment on the fact that the title character of the strip is so bored by it that he refuses to participate? They tried to get him involved with the Sarah plot and he just ignored it and now they try to tempt him with the B plot involving reorganizing the office and he just walks away. Nope! I’ll be in my office drinking coffee and reading a newspaper.” –aphthakid

“Given a lack of a ‘Thunk’ or ‘Thwack’ in that third panel, I think we now know the answer to the question, ‘If a tree falls in the woods and only Rusty is conscious to hear it, does it make a sound?’ No. No, it does not.” –Comrade Dread

“One can only wonder about what direction this strip, and indeed 20th century society itself, would have taken if only, instead of gluttony and sandwiches stacked like skyscrapers, Dagwood’s amusing personal weakness had been boning a constant and ever-changing parade of canines that passed through the strip. At the very least, Dagwood Dogfucker would have been a catchier name than Blondie.” –cheech wizard

“You know, we’ve always assumed that the Great Animal Revolution was a violent uprising, but what if it were something more subversive? What if animals and humans lived peacefully together before Slylock decided to shift evolution in his favor at the ground floor? What we’re witnessing is the last peaceful act of Nobel Laureate Weirdly before his timeline is irrevocably rewritten.” –TheDiva

“Forget the cab driver series. The spin-off I want to see is Pedestrian Thor, in which the hero wanders around the city, looking at street performers and eating churros from carts and explaining to anyone who looks at him sideways, ‘Hammer’s on the fritz.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I’m yer man! Unless these two thwipp down a one way street, then we’re fucked.” –Hogenmogen

“Sunday strip: the science behind the heartbreak of Swimmer’s Ear.” –lumaca morente

“‘Amnesia, huh? Well the important thing is that you’re okay … biological dad.’ That would actually be pretty tame as wacky schemes go, but we gotta set expectations at ‘Rusty.'” –Dan

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey y’all, just a quick note to Los Angeles and Los Angeles-adjacent folks that you can see me perform my beloved character Gary The Emotionally Fragile Substitute Yoga Instructor for free, tonight, in Echo Park! It’s in a show called Underbelly, full of stand-up comics doing comedy in non stand-up forms, and it will be WEIRD and GOOD. At Echoes Under Sunset, 1310 Glendale Boulevard. Doors open at 9:15 pm, show starts at 10. Don’t miss it! Gary will be even sadder if you do!

But now, it is time for the comment of the week:

“Let’s take a minute to really appreciate the Phantom’s costume here. By having the majority of it be the same shade of purple that the world apparently turns to at night, all of the costume blends into the lavender ‘darkness’, except for the midsection. To the criminals he battles, this must create the illusion of being attacked by a floating pair of blue and black striped granny panties, which, if nothing else, must be confusing as hell.” –Brad

And the hilarious runners up!

“I’m not sure that Nancy would agree that you were improvising. You negated a lot of her pitches and brought the whole scene down.” –pugfuggly

“I choose to believe this is just Dagwood’s custom ringtone. HERB WOODLEY! ‘Oh, hi Blondie. Yeah, I’ll take the tenderloin out of the freezer.’ HERB WOODLEY! ‘Yes Mr. Dithers, first thing Monday morning.’ HERB WOODLEY! ‘Ha ha, hi Cookie. No, just laughing at the ringtone. It never gets ol– no it doesn’t, sweetie.'” –Dan

“Mary’s non-Euclidian rose bushes are looking very good this year. See how, in the second panel, they healthily interpose themselves into spaces that shouldn’t exist, such as where Mary’s forearm and neck should be? I do hope Terry doesn’t prick herself on one of the fifth-dimensional hyperbolic thorns, though. Not only will she rapidly bleed out into unknown space and time, but her blood might awaken the Howler in the Walls (also known as Wilbur).” –Voshkod

“Slylock is hesitant to criticize Ronny. He knows he comes from a tough part of town. He knows he grew up without a father. He know this because he ate him and several other members of the Rabbit family. ‘I knew your father, kid. You should aspire to be more like him. He had great taste. Heh heh!'” –Mikey

“Why does the crow think Max’s tail is an earthworm? Why are statues of primates valued more highly than a bowl of life-sustaining water? Why is the owl out in the daytime? I only hope I’m dead and gone before this dystopian future becomes reality.” –Nekrotzar

“That put-down made a lot more sense before the syndicate changed ‘penis’ to ‘director.'” –Chyron HR

“I see what Lantern-Jaw-Purple-Polo-Shirt is going for here: is it possible to have a reunion and not invite the reunion committee president? It’s certainly worth a try!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“They get cell reception, but they still have to light the cave with torches?” –Molly Dolan, on Facebook

“Because the other two people are in your bra, because you have big boobs. Yes, you heard me right, that’s what I’m saying. Lately I’ve cheerfully accepted the fact that I’m losing my mind. Hey, did you know that technically we’re a sixsome, because of my testicles?” –made of wince

“Dear Beetle Bailey, I had a hard time figuring this one out partly due to your minimalist ‘style’ when in comes to depicting everyday items (such as golf clubs, golf shoes, tanks, etc.). If you draw a golf course in the future can you please draw all eighteen flags in a single panel so as not to confuse me further? Also, if the joke involves a sexual innuendo please draw Halftrack’s half erect schlong hanging out.” –Mikey

“Speaking of home … this home is so much better than my home! Instead of what I was going to do, why don’t I just wait for him to get home, shoot him with this gun until he dies, and then make his home mine! Haha! No more sleeping in a dark cave or risking life and limb fighting crime for ol’ Phantom, no siree! I’m moving on to bigger and better things! I’m going to call my kids to tell them to go fuck themselves! I wonder if this rich guy keeps any cocaine around here?” –Jack loves comics

“‘But do you know how hard that boy is throwing?’ ‘Uh, no. Why? Is there some way of measuring it?’ ‘Gil, we have a radar gun — we can chart the pitch speed for your entire staff.’ ‘What? So I can make personnel decisions based on data rather than my seat-of-the-pants impressions? There was this kid who kept telling me that during basketball season too — I had him thrown off the team on trumped-up drug charges, so don’t push me, Billy Beane.'” –But What Do I Know?

“Is that … a mushroom cloud Momma is painting? What’s that guilty ‘They’re on to me’ sideways glance as she hastily splashes paint over it to cover it up? Was WWII … secretly Momma’s idea?” –tommie

“Bored with wasting his awesome mental powers on simple stunts such as replacing the curtain in panel one with a table lamp in panel two, Professor Xavier challenged himself with something more more difficult, namely getting Lu Ann to change her Pepto-Bismol pink shirt. It took all his mental faculties, but sure enough he got her to change it — from one that buttons on the right to one that buttons on the left. This will be the most exciting development in this strip for the next three weeks.” –seismic-2

“The late Harvey Pekar confuses his grandchildren.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Notice that the teacher has written ‘Write to: Pluggers’ followed by the address on the board. It’s part of the history lesson. ‘This is how people used to communicate, kids. It’s what you now call snail mail. Send them something. It’s a comic written by people who are so old they’re literally dying for new material.'” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here

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Hello, all! Here is your comment of the week!

“Just bear with me a moment while I don my signature red jacket to deliver my trenchant non-sequitur … Oh yeah, THAT’S the stuff … It’s Good To Be The Crank!” –Adam Menendez

And here are your hilarious runners up!

A3G: “I haven’t been keeping up but do the hair colors of the two talking people continue to see-saw from black to white then from white to black, while their conversations have remained delightfully colored like smokey fog?” –tallyHO

“I’m not sure that’s even an award that Gen. Halftrack is receiving. I think the official just tore off a piece of the bunting that’s hanging behind him. If he really wanted to do Halftrack a solid, he could give him his toupee.” –Pozzo

“I’m noting Marvin’s dad launches the grill upward, by lighting it at the top. Is he so bad at grilling that his attempt, instead of the expected exothermic reaction, ignited an introthermic reaction, which is a word I just made up to describe an explosive anti-fire, powerful enough to launch the grill into space?” –Jenny Creed

“What’s with the bawdy grin and knowing hat tip? Is … is ‘the crew on Slumber Mountain has the fire under control there as well’ a … a euphemism? A … sexual euphemism? What has the crew on Slumber Mountain actually been DOING this whole time, dear God?” –Jack loves comics

“ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE HANK TOLLS (I mean, it’s Neddy, obviously).” –Paul Acciavatti, on Facebook

“Early middle age warrior fights late middle age knight for 20th century snack! This is what the UFC is going to look like once they invent time travel.” –pugfuggly

“That’s not a safety helmet in panel 1. That’s a capello romano, beloved hat of Father Guido Sarducci and other Catholic clergy. Who knew the Vatican had its own hotshot forest-fire-fighting squad, ready to airdrop anywhere in the world at a prayer’s notice? They also do exorcisms. *koff*Rusty*koff*” –Bruce Arthurs

“How are you doing, Adam? Well, you’re trying to woo your ex-girlfriend with your Ed Koch impression. How do you think you’re doing?” –Green Luthor

“‘Didn’t you like the hot air balloon, hilltop restaurant or amusement park ride?’ Adam cursed himself for using the Mad Lib date planner.” –Steve S

“If standing next to someone cool and waiting for external validation is not in fact the way to achieve coolness then I’m just finding out I completely wasted four years of high school.” –Scootermark

“I’m digging the implied diss on his wife. ‘Oh, HER crummy superhero movies, ha ha, don’t even need to spare a thought balloon for those. Harry’s a better actor than she’ll ever be.'” –Laura

“It’s funny because Herb drinks his coffee from a previous thrift store find, someone’s old weed stash canister.” –nescio

“Hey! … Those ducks give me an idea … I wonder if Rusty has a windshield I can shit on.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“It’s debatable the extent to which Jon Arbuckle can ‘hear’ or understand Garfield’s thought balloons. But I really hope the people in Herb & Jamaal possess some form of telepathy. Otherwise, their lives and conversations are punctuated by lengthy, oddly-timed silences. Questions go unanswered. Direct addresses are seemingly ignored. It’s a cold, sad world for them. Unless, like I said, they can read each other’s thoughts … which in retrospect might be worse. You know what? Forget I said anything.” –Joe Blevins

“So Mark is finally going to release Rusty down by the lake? ‘Well, Rusty, your performance review is in. Your randomly naming wild animals is at an all-time high, but your aw-shucks-ing and gee-whiz-ing has been in decline for a while, and you haven’t managed to raise your Cloying Quotient Score, either. I know you’re trying, but that’s not the point. You haven’t even managed to get kidnapped in years! Cherry gets kidnapped punctually, each and every time she leaves Lost Forest, as per the regs. I’m sorry, Rusty, but we’re going to have to release you.'” –Hogenmogen

“I am a tad surprised that you are missing out on one essential clue to Dennis’s threat level here: the color of that spilled egg yolk! A decidedly spoiled, botulism-laden green. Dennis is preparing poisoned cookies to serve to his parents, Margaret, Mr. Wilson, and anyone else who ever done him wrong.” –Paul Di Filippo

“The principal in panel two once dreamed of a modeling career, and spent her youth mastering the perky housewife poses from the old household magazines in her grandmother’s garage. Upon discovering most of them had long-ago ceased publication, she fell back on her PHD in education. But every now and then she seizes a moment to dazzle visitors with one of those perfect poses. She was about to add ‘It’s good … and good FOR you!’ when Kelly interrupted.” –DBenson

“A3G is starting to make me sad. Margo’s pugnacious dialogue, contrasted with her lackadaisical expression, makes me think that the whole world of the strip is winding down, like Westworld on dying batteries.” –lumaca morente

“Greg, you fool! Don’t you realize Margo could go online and post nasty comments on your fan sites! Or post a 0% review of your movies on Rotten Tomatoes? Or give your favorite restaurants negative Yelp reviews … or she could if she had a computer which… we’ve never seen before in their apartment … so, uh … you’re pretty much okay, I guess.” –Comrade Dread

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.