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EVERYBODY! IT’S TIME! TIME FOR YOUR! COMMENT! OF THE WEEK!

“It’s the law and we go by the book. Now, on to our mobster masters to do our illegal paintings.” –Mibbitmaker

AND FOR YOUR RUNNERS UP! ALSO HILARIOUS!

“Look at what the feminists have done to Little Shop of Horrors!” –Mad Kev: Fury Tweets, on Twitter

“What constitutes a hot date among the laboring classes in this strip? A dinner of crusts spread with bacon grease, followed by a walk, and tossing pebbles in the pond? Or will there be an expedition to poach the Spencer deer?” –Ukulele Ike

“A faker herself, our ersatz Tooth Fairy knows how to spot another ‘tourist.’ This supposed homeless man sports an obviously-manicured chinbeard and begs for spare change via the lyrics of an 85-year-old song. So does he really need the money, or is this all part of some bullshit performance art thing? Well, let’s call his bluff and find out, eh?” –Joe Blevins

“Just what kind of coded message will little 7-year-old Billy have to send out of the Keane Kompound before Child Protective Services decides to step in? A picture of Dolly holding a flaming log with the punny caption ‘Dolly is a torch-erer’? Dolly on a stage in front of an audience doing stand-up with the explanation, ‘Dolly is going to kill us all?'” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Gazing into Sarah’s hair in that second panel makes it clear that Sarah in fact has no permanent physical form. She is simply a manifestation of the darkest abyss, a hole in the fabric of space-time that walks and plots for its own inscrutable purpose. To truly contemplate her is to gaze into the dark nothing that exists in the empty spaces between galaxies. It is more than the absence of substance, it is the true opposite of substance. What eon-spanning, unfathomable thoughts cross this void, we can kneel in thankful prayer that we can never know.” –G’Quan

“But … but … ‘bon appétit’ is something the server says after presenting the meal but he’s still ordering and also what could that possibly mean coming from a patron to a server JESUS CHRIST BERNARD WHITACRE OF LEECHBURG PENN WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THE WAITRESS. Something vile about ‘bone’ and ‘tit’ and you just had to tell someone, didn’t you. Because a crime nobody sees is no crime at all.” –Paul Acciavatti, on Facebook.

A3G: “I feel like we dodged a bullet here. For a minute, I thought the plot might unfold in a sensible way, with Lu Ann saying something like ‘I’m attracted to that bald fellow at Martin’s Aparthotel who thought I was a hooker.’ But no, just a random statement about quitting a job she loves. Tommie can go back to growing her hair out now.” –Gabacho

“I choose to believe that, in the Plugger-verse, the French are all poodles and pronounce it BONE appetit.” –Drewbear

“Checking EMAIL? Doesn’t this poor sap know that, canonically, we are presently sometime in the 1910s, and we’re still decades behind the ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION? Heck and a half, what is he doing, disrupting the chronological flow of linear time? He sure is driving me to the brink of insanity! What is now? When is yesterday? Is anything real? At least one thing’s for sure: fuck modern progression, fuck it in the ear, Jesus Christ!” –Jack loves comics

“I like how Marvin has gone meta to keep up with the changing tastes of readers that grew up giggling at his plebeian poop jokes. Eyes heavy with middle class ennui, Marvin’s family delivers a scathing rebuke of the former genre while launching us into a new world where self deprecation and plaid shirts abound while fourth walls are obliterated with Jim Halpert-esque stares.” –Tonya

“Killer laughs, a weird, hollow laugh. It’s an imitated, fake laugh. The kind you use to punctuate thoughts you learned long ago not to share. ‘One Killer is good. Two Killers … two Kllers would be perfect.'” –bunivasal

“Where exactly is her left arm? Has it merged into her right? I hope so. Margo will not be happy about the Lovecraftian beast suddenly wearing Tommie’s hair. If she even notices.” –Tim Monteith, on Facebook

“My new theory is that since the people in A3G have no lower bodies, they’re all resting on a conveyor belt. This is why they can start a conversation in a hotel, then end up in the apartment, and, today, slide from the living room into the kitchen, all while seemingly not moving.” –aphthakid

“Tommie’s rebuffed yawn-arm around the shoulder in panel one tells me she really misunderstood last week’s ‘It feels very sudden, but it feels right.’ Her come-hither smile in panel two tells me she’s still not getting it. That’s okay, though. ‘I’m still not getting it’ is pretty much Tommie’s motto in life.” –Dan

“Because baby squirrels make the best bait for tiger sharks, honey!” –Kevin on Earth

“‘Cool … what happened to her clothes?’ ‘Oh, child, you can’t dip a snitch in molten bronze while they’re still wearing clothes! I see you have much to learn about body disposal.'” –Voshkod

“And Kelly asked him, ‘Ken, why is it during the hard times there are only one set of footprints on the sand?’ And Ken replied, ‘It was then that I left you to go out and stab sharks in the heart and cut off their fins to make some bitchin’ soup.'” –Comrade Dread

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Are you ready for the weekend and your comment of the week? I hope you are! Here it is!

“The best thing about today’s Judge Parker is Panel 2, where Neddy stretches her incredibly long, slender, and smooth patrician neck out to almost its full 15-inch length. Marie looks at that neck as she thinks about the French Revolution, and she smiles.” –seismic-2

And here are some hilarious runners up, please enjoy them as well!

“My Little Hilbilly: Inbreeding is Magic” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Les actually forgot to get the license when he married Lisa, once she was mostly recovered after being caught in a post office bombing set by a right-wing terrorist. His student Susan Smith saved his hash by intervening with her father the judge. The family thought they owed him one because he saved Susan’s life after she attempted suicide in despair over the fact that Les loved Lisa, and not her. Efforts to turn this all into a musical comedy have so far been unsatisfying.” –jasper jinx

“Purty girls like me, Snuffy! I mean, like. Since I’m three feet tall and dress in outdated formalwear, most gals just assume I have magic powers and have been summoned forth to grant ’em three wishes. It’s a notion I don’t immediately dispel.” –Joe Blevins

“Babies come from beavers, right? I really am pretty sure that’s how it works.” –agony

“Heathcliff ladies, you have no right to judge other people’s life choices when you’ve worn a formal business skirt with matching blazer to the beach. I guess you never know when a power lunch will break out and you’ve got to be prepared.” –Escape Zeppelin

“You know for a kid named Rusty, your jaw doesn’t seem to very locked.” –Hugo Drax, Jr., on Twitter

“A whole family of babies would be a disaster waiting to happen. I doubt they would last an hour.” –Felix Gilman, on Twitter

“They’ve brought an ottoman to the beach. Bods or not, their dad status is assured.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘Where’s Margo?’ ‘As usual, she’s at work. By which I mean, this exact same room, but presumably somewhere else.'” –Jack loves comics

“Ha ha, rich ambitious people like Neddy don’t waste their time getting ‘degrees’ or ‘credentials’ before putting their plans into practice! The Parker family motto is ‘Those who can do, those who can’t learn’ (followed by a condescending guffaw and a swirl of a martini).” –pugfuggly

“Of course Neddy Parker has a Master’s in Structural Engineering. Hell, it takes that and her Doctorate in Differential Geometry to put on her bra each morning without a sexy, sexy disaster.” –Voshkod

“Can we reflect for a moment on the fact that the title character of the strip is so bored by it that he refuses to participate? They tried to get him involved with the Sarah plot and he just ignored it and now they try to tempt him with the B plot involving reorganizing the office and he just walks away. Nope! I’ll be in my office drinking coffee and reading a newspaper.” –aphthakid

“Given a lack of a ‘Thunk’ or ‘Thwack’ in that third panel, I think we now know the answer to the question, ‘If a tree falls in the woods and only Rusty is conscious to hear it, does it make a sound?’ No. No, it does not.” –Comrade Dread

“One can only wonder about what direction this strip, and indeed 20th century society itself, would have taken if only, instead of gluttony and sandwiches stacked like skyscrapers, Dagwood’s amusing personal weakness had been boning a constant and ever-changing parade of canines that passed through the strip. At the very least, Dagwood Dogfucker would have been a catchier name than Blondie.” –cheech wizard

“You know, we’ve always assumed that the Great Animal Revolution was a violent uprising, but what if it were something more subversive? What if animals and humans lived peacefully together before Slylock decided to shift evolution in his favor at the ground floor? What we’re witnessing is the last peaceful act of Nobel Laureate Weirdly before his timeline is irrevocably rewritten.” –TheDiva

“Forget the cab driver series. The spin-off I want to see is Pedestrian Thor, in which the hero wanders around the city, looking at street performers and eating churros from carts and explaining to anyone who looks at him sideways, ‘Hammer’s on the fritz.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I’m yer man! Unless these two thwipp down a one way street, then we’re fucked.” –Hogenmogen

“Sunday strip: the science behind the heartbreak of Swimmer’s Ear.” –lumaca morente

“‘Amnesia, huh? Well the important thing is that you’re okay … biological dad.’ That would actually be pretty tame as wacky schemes go, but we gotta set expectations at ‘Rusty.'” –Dan

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey y’all, just a quick note to Los Angeles and Los Angeles-adjacent folks that you can see me perform my beloved character Gary The Emotionally Fragile Substitute Yoga Instructor for free, tonight, in Echo Park! It’s in a show called Underbelly, full of stand-up comics doing comedy in non stand-up forms, and it will be WEIRD and GOOD. At Echoes Under Sunset, 1310 Glendale Boulevard. Doors open at 9:15 pm, show starts at 10. Don’t miss it! Gary will be even sadder if you do!

But now, it is time for the comment of the week:

“Let’s take a minute to really appreciate the Phantom’s costume here. By having the majority of it be the same shade of purple that the world apparently turns to at night, all of the costume blends into the lavender ‘darkness’, except for the midsection. To the criminals he battles, this must create the illusion of being attacked by a floating pair of blue and black striped granny panties, which, if nothing else, must be confusing as hell.” –Brad

And the hilarious runners up!

“I’m not sure that Nancy would agree that you were improvising. You negated a lot of her pitches and brought the whole scene down.” –pugfuggly

“I choose to believe this is just Dagwood’s custom ringtone. HERB WOODLEY! ‘Oh, hi Blondie. Yeah, I’ll take the tenderloin out of the freezer.’ HERB WOODLEY! ‘Yes Mr. Dithers, first thing Monday morning.’ HERB WOODLEY! ‘Ha ha, hi Cookie. No, just laughing at the ringtone. It never gets ol– no it doesn’t, sweetie.'” –Dan

“Mary’s non-Euclidian rose bushes are looking very good this year. See how, in the second panel, they healthily interpose themselves into spaces that shouldn’t exist, such as where Mary’s forearm and neck should be? I do hope Terry doesn’t prick herself on one of the fifth-dimensional hyperbolic thorns, though. Not only will she rapidly bleed out into unknown space and time, but her blood might awaken the Howler in the Walls (also known as Wilbur).” –Voshkod

“Slylock is hesitant to criticize Ronny. He knows he comes from a tough part of town. He knows he grew up without a father. He know this because he ate him and several other members of the Rabbit family. ‘I knew your father, kid. You should aspire to be more like him. He had great taste. Heh heh!'” –Mikey

“Why does the crow think Max’s tail is an earthworm? Why are statues of primates valued more highly than a bowl of life-sustaining water? Why is the owl out in the daytime? I only hope I’m dead and gone before this dystopian future becomes reality.” –Nekrotzar

“That put-down made a lot more sense before the syndicate changed ‘penis’ to ‘director.'” –Chyron HR

“I see what Lantern-Jaw-Purple-Polo-Shirt is going for here: is it possible to have a reunion and not invite the reunion committee president? It’s certainly worth a try!” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“They get cell reception, but they still have to light the cave with torches?” –Molly Dolan, on Facebook

“Because the other two people are in your bra, because you have big boobs. Yes, you heard me right, that’s what I’m saying. Lately I’ve cheerfully accepted the fact that I’m losing my mind. Hey, did you know that technically we’re a sixsome, because of my testicles?” –made of wince

“Dear Beetle Bailey, I had a hard time figuring this one out partly due to your minimalist ‘style’ when in comes to depicting everyday items (such as golf clubs, golf shoes, tanks, etc.). If you draw a golf course in the future can you please draw all eighteen flags in a single panel so as not to confuse me further? Also, if the joke involves a sexual innuendo please draw Halftrack’s half erect schlong hanging out.” –Mikey

“Speaking of home … this home is so much better than my home! Instead of what I was going to do, why don’t I just wait for him to get home, shoot him with this gun until he dies, and then make his home mine! Haha! No more sleeping in a dark cave or risking life and limb fighting crime for ol’ Phantom, no siree! I’m moving on to bigger and better things! I’m going to call my kids to tell them to go fuck themselves! I wonder if this rich guy keeps any cocaine around here?” –Jack loves comics

“‘But do you know how hard that boy is throwing?’ ‘Uh, no. Why? Is there some way of measuring it?’ ‘Gil, we have a radar gun — we can chart the pitch speed for your entire staff.’ ‘What? So I can make personnel decisions based on data rather than my seat-of-the-pants impressions? There was this kid who kept telling me that during basketball season too — I had him thrown off the team on trumped-up drug charges, so don’t push me, Billy Beane.'” –But What Do I Know?

“Is that … a mushroom cloud Momma is painting? What’s that guilty ‘They’re on to me’ sideways glance as she hastily splashes paint over it to cover it up? Was WWII … secretly Momma’s idea?” –tommie

“Bored with wasting his awesome mental powers on simple stunts such as replacing the curtain in panel one with a table lamp in panel two, Professor Xavier challenged himself with something more more difficult, namely getting Lu Ann to change her Pepto-Bismol pink shirt. It took all his mental faculties, but sure enough he got her to change it — from one that buttons on the right to one that buttons on the left. This will be the most exciting development in this strip for the next three weeks.” –seismic-2

“The late Harvey Pekar confuses his grandchildren.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Notice that the teacher has written ‘Write to: Pluggers’ followed by the address on the board. It’s part of the history lesson. ‘This is how people used to communicate, kids. It’s what you now call snail mail. Send them something. It’s a comic written by people who are so old they’re literally dying for new material.'” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here