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Let’s get right to it with this week’s top comment!

“Mark seems so unnatural when he smiles that you just know it’s a task he’s broken down into smaller steps. ‘Okay, Trail, raise the eyebrows by 20 degrees. Now, use your facial muscles to bring up the corners of your mouth a little. That’s it. Don’t forget to flash those upper teeth just a little. Not too much.’ He hasn’t quite mastered what to do with his eyes, though, so he still looks like there’s a gun to his back the whole time.” –Joe Blevins

And the hilarious runners up!

“Pluggers are so old that they disdain this newfangled ‘literacy’ idea.” –Danel

“If you didn’t get the joke in Pluggers, it’s because you didn’t figure out where Grandpa is.” –vewatkin

“I thought that after Herb used the barefaced sexual euphemism ‘Complicated crossword puzzle’ he might stop there, but he just kept doubling down on it. ‘I must’ve shoved a few pieces in my pocket without realizing it’. ‘We were both so exhausted we decided to call it quits’. For shame, comic strip. Think of the children.” –Jack loves comics

“The walk was … revealing. I may have to button my blouse next time.” –Pozzo

“The joke here, of course that it was Dennis that shit on his dad’s car, dressed as Grover.” –pugfuggly

“What was the Band Box’s criminal offense at trial? Was its music too upbeat?” –Dood

“And where we’re going is a place called Aldo’s Curve. It’s the only way I could think of to end this thing cleanly.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“A guy stumbles into a rundown fleabag hotel, sweating, with pie-plate dilated eyes, sputtering something about wanting to see a gorgeous redhead dressed like a superhero. Temporarily he’s distracted by his own shriveled desiccated hands. It’s nothing the clerk, himself a holdout from the time before the hotel decided to go seedy, hasn’t already seen twice since he came on duty this morning.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Why is nothing never easy? Why is the head of a sneering man growing from my shoulder? Should I get that looked at by a doctor?” –Voshkod

“And when you do work, you can use it to move an object or bring it to a stop. And the path of least resistance is usually through a copper wire. If you need more advice, please order the Physics Platter.” –Enlong

“I don’t want my wife to think I’m some kind of creep! Now where did that tracker that I force her to wear at all times say she was?” –Brad

“It’s too bad he didn’t get a teaching position, because then he’d have pupils.” –A Concerned Reader

“But I would assume to presume to assume you didn’t assume I knew … wait, let me start over.” –TheDiva

“I’m gonna take a cue from Rex and try that out. ‘No, I don’t know how fast I was going, Officer. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [let off with warning] ‘Sorry, I can’t make the rent payment at this time. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [wins the lottery] ‘I have six months to a year, doctor? Oh, come on. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [death itself no longer exists]” –made of wince

“Yes, it’s the car that has been attracting bad vibes all along. Not your creeptastic blackmailing pseudo-prodigy daughter, it’s the car.” –bad wolf

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hi all! A quick few items on the recently completed fundraiser:

• I just sent out a batch of rewards today, polishing off my reserves of magnets and tote bags. Both reserves should be replenished by the end of the month, so don’t panic if you don’t see your reward just yet. I’ll put up another note here when the second and final batch goes out.
• You are only in line for a reward if you filled out the Google Form like I asked in the thank-you email I sent you! So, if you are one of the eleven people who got that email and didn’t fill out the form, you are not getting any rewards, unless you fill it out, which you are still welcome to do!
• If you’re saying “Hey, wait, I never got any thank-you email with any link,” you may be one of the three people whose email addresses just bounced back any attempt to communicate with you! Or maybe you’re one of the other people and it went to your spam filter or something. Please email me either way at bio@jfruh.com and we’ll get you taken care of!

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Hey guys! Just a short comment of the week list from the second half of the week — your Uncle Lumpy loved you all too much this week to pick and choose your favorite comments. But first: if you gave during the fundraiser, you should’ve gotten an email by now with a link to a survey where you can let me know what reward, if any, you want. If you haven’t gotten one yet, please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com and I’ll send you the link. (UPDATE: It turns out that due a goof on my part, I found at least five donors that I didn’t send emails to! You may have just gotten a note just now. And if you haven’t please definitely email me!) About 20% of you haven’t filled it out yet, and I can’t send you your reward if you haven’t filled it out! And even if you don’t want anything, please take a minute to fill it out to tell me so — otherwise I’m going to go a little crazy worrying you never got the email.

Anyway! That housekeeping done, here’s your comment of the week:

“Now think about this — if you had never read this comic before, you would see a toddler writing/drawing his ‘diary’ from his diaper days, with CRAYONS, and refusing to go to sleep when placed in his crib. There is absolutely NO mention of excrement. Their Pavlovian experiment has been successful — we only have to see Marvin to think ‘poop joke.’ Our minds have been trained to see what’s not there. I consider this to be more menacing than any Dennis cartoon.” –Arabella

And your very funny runners up!

“I SENSED SOMEBODY behind me — But it’s honestly a little difficult to sense anything with you so uncomfortably close and your head on my shoulder, Natasha. Do you realize you’re doing it? Is this intentional? Let’s keep this a strictly working relationship, all right? I’ve already got one wife I don’t care about, I don’t need another.” –Jack loves comics

Funky Winkerbean: “Les struggles to remember what ‘joking’ means. ‘It’s … like passive-aggressive punning, only funny?’ he hazards.” –Horace Broon

“Just when the ‘Is this Dress White or Bue’ started to die down, Pluggers drags us all back in.” –maltmash3r

“The income Henry earns clicking the ‘REJECT’ button on insurance forms is communal property, shared by The Missus. Dennis will learn this after his first divorce.” –Johnny Knuckles

“Didn’t Mark Trail stop a charging hippopotamus once by jamming a flaming tree branch in its mouth? So Mark should be able to stop the forest fire by jamming a charging hippopotamus into the flaming trees.” –KreatureFeatures

“That cyclops just invoked the name of Mistofer, the Dark Lord of The Revenuer! Hide yer still, Snuffy, The Man has his eye on you!” –Mumblix Grumph

“I haven’t been following Mark Trail too closely, but don’t tell me that Emerald Ash Borer Beetles have discovered the secret of making fire! Don’t worry about telling everyone, nice bureaucrat lady; we’re all doomed now.” –Joe Momma

“And then she trips over another branch and her hair falls down and oh my God she was conventionally attractive all along.” –C. Sandy Cyst

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.