“Is this Gil fantasizing about Bartender Gal (I forget her name and I don’t care to look it up) or vice versa? I’m guessing the latter: Gil seems too boring to engage in quasi-sexual gothic roleplay, but BG is probably naive enough to mistake his dull stoicism for brooding mystery.” –TheDiva

“I would have thought that the saints would have been a pretty austere group, but just look at them whooping it up in that first panel. Fuck yeah, it’s Saints Day Eve! We’re gonna sing ’til we puke!” –pugfuggly

“Today’s Family Circus made me reflect on that eternal theological quandary: do ghosts go commando?” –nescio

“Jeffy is unequivocally dressed as the Yellow Power Ranger Trini Kwan, who was played by Asian actress Thuy Trang. Trang tragically died in a car accident. Jeffy doesn’t know or care about any of that however; he is the Yellow Ranger because it helps conceal the urine he’s drenched in.” –Ambrose

“‘Graveyard gumbo’ is probably corpses, right? I’m more than a bit concerned that these two might not be cosplaying after all. Call the cops, Blondie!” –astroboy

“Keith is just looking at the bill. ‘$10 for a root beer?!’” –Flipper

“Sure, Crock, it’s all pun and games until the Algerian National Liberation Front hears of your weakness, your surviving soldiers betray you, and the two groups parade your bullet ridden corpse through the streets to the cheers of your readers.” –Old Man Shadow

“Killer is right to be upset. Beetle’s been busted down to E-1 many times already, and this violation of Article 106 of the UCMJ will end his career and freedom once and for all. Oh well, at least Beetle will have four-star General Lieutenant Fuzz for company in Leavenworth. All that said, Zero wins the award for worst costume, having shown up in his normal civilian attire.” –jroggs

“It will be more plausible when I poison him to death and pretend I didn’t notice he died. I realize I shouldn’t have said that out loud.” –taig

“Does … Beetle write home about Sarge? What’s the over-under on the family knowing more about Sarge than Buxley?? More evidence for my gigantic Sarge/Beetle folder, thank you.” –Pistol Pete

“To be fair, money coming out of an ATM will seem like a rare and delightful occurrence to your kid if you make a habit of sneaking up on them from the side and trying to flip the card into the slot without typing anything into the keypad.” –matt w

“Just a month ago, Hi stormed out of a shop that would not accept cash, but today we find out that the act of withdrawing cash is anxiety-inducing for him! Hi should settle on how to express his angst against the world. Maybe start an affair.” –Ettorre

“‘Rene Belluso? He’s at our window? He’s right outside?’ ‘That’s the television, Rex. We talked about this after you went outside to try to hug Big Bird.’” –Voshkod

“It’s funny because he wants to suffocate his wife so that he can sleep! I guess the upside is that he’ll only have to do it once.” –Pippy the Ziphead

“I gotta give credit to Gil Thorp: referencing a pop-culture-cum-sports phenomenon that’s less than two months old is a lot faster than I’d normally expect from a soap opera strip, which would normally take at least two years. In fact, it’s so quick — the Gil Thorp football storyline had already started by the time ‘Traylor’ started becoming a thing, and my impression has been that soap opera strip storylines are more-or-less planned out before they begin (though The Phantom sure has been casting doubt on that recently) — that it actually makes me wonder if something else is going on here. Am I suggesting that the whole Kelce-Swift relationship has been one huge publicity stunt for their cameo appearance in a newspaper comic strip, a medium people are barely aware still exists, that as a city slicker, I had never heard of before coming to the Comics Curmudgeon? Don’t be ridiculous. All I’m saying is, it would be almost diabolically clever if it was.” –Morgan Wick

“The weird phrasing here is actually because Crock’s mom didn’t buy a Harley motorcycle but a Harley Quinn statue. Crock asks the size, knowing with dread that it’s life size and exactly what his mother intends with it.” –ectojazzmage

“Me, if I won some money, I’d buy a working phone to go with this vintage handset. Then I could talk to people for real instead of ripping off Bob Newhart’s old routine.” –Peanut Gallery

“Hey, Crock got something right! Crock’s mother would be in one of the only generations still buying Harleys. Way to rub it in their faces that Harley-Davidson is a struggling company desperately trying to hang in there, crack Crock writing team.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“An erudite bear (not so vicious)/ Mistakenly used ‘meretricious’/ For you see, those who snore/ That he knew, were all whores/ But it’s ok because he’s fictitious.” –Marcus Theory

“I want to thank the creative team behind this comic strip for offering insights into the collapse of the French war effort in 1940. A military that concerns itself with cacti helps explain why the Maginot Line proved so ineffective and why Gens. Gamelin and Weygand stumbled so badly. ‘I see the Nazis are starting to build up their forces but, hey, that pine tree just got laid.’” –KMD

“Head for the nearest planet! Fortunately, the planets in this particular region of space are all conveniently clustered together like billiard balls. Unfortunately, that means we only have a short time to enjoy our stay on one before they all start colliding with each other like billiard balls.” –Peanut Gallery

“The visual setup in Crock is exactly the same as when depicting one character transforming into another. Perhaps the cook is the eternally boiling chicken, the instigator of his own torment, himself the damned punisher and the punished. Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it? The answer, of course, is no.” –Chance

“My favorite kind of Hi and Lois: Lois realizes that she’s trapped, trapped, TRAPPED.” –matt w

“I’ve never believed the whole ‘Millennials can’t afford houses because they waste all their money on takeout coffee and food delivery’ thing, but given that these vampires can’t afford furniture or even a second chair, maybe they have a point.” –Schroduck

“It’s kinda funny that the Perfesser’s date just whipped out one of her models right there at the table, but then again maybe this was her plan all along. ‘Say, have you ever wanted to own your very own set of quality Cretaceous-era dinosaur figures? They called them terrible lizards, but what’s truly terrible is paying too much for fine theropod collectibles. Why, with just five payments of $29.99, you’ll get…’” –pugfuggly

“Sometimes it’s not about the jokes, it’s about letting the reader know they are seen. Rather than the faux-populism of Pluggers celebrating the downwardly mobile direction of America’s working class, Hi and Lois lets the reader know they understand and will not offer false hope or try to fake some silver lining. Irma is every one of us who woke up, realized it’s only Tuesday, and we have four days to slog through until the weekend. Whatever the health benefits of Lois’s newest fad tea are, it’s going to take our reliable old vice of coffee to get us through the Sisyphean task of work and social obligations this week. [sips from oversized mug] See all you tomorrow for some more Comics Curmudgeoning.” –Philip

“Jughaid is right to object to Mz. Prunelly. This is the dangerous woke new math that improves test scores by forbidding children to even look at the problems. Traditional educator grandparents of America to the ramparts!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“‘That’s one thing I don’t know how to cure. The FDA will not authorize experiments for my planned ‘Lobotomy 3.0.’” –Ettorre

“I would get tired of constantly looking up everyone’s nostrils if I were a character in this comic strip, though I guess in fairness they all would be looking up mine too.” –Just John

“From the look on Joey’s face, he’s ‘counting piggies’ to make sure there are enough after he eats one.” –BigTed

“And then he told me I’d already used up my feral days for the year, and if I took one more he’d put me to sleep. It’d make me so mad if my balls weren’t in a dumpster behind the vet’s office.” –Voshkod

“The most menacing part of Dennis is how he and Joey are testing the boundaries of the box that keeps them from entering our dimension. A part of a foot … fingers pressing through the wall of separation … a hurricane on the other side of the world … We are not ready. We are not ready…” –Old Man Shadow

“This is actually the writers telegraphing that this isn’t a real bear, just an insane prostitute in a fur suit.” –ectojazzmage

“Mention your line of work? You think I was proud of banging a square? These days I only have sex with revolutionaries. Occasionally a saxophone player. She was hoping her Dad was Gerry Mulligan.” –Ukulele Ike

“Somebody kidnaps you at gunpoint and shoves you in a car trunk, ehh, let it go. Somebody tries to drown you, yeah, I guess you can see how some people might be bothered by that. Absolutely the only thing that actually bothers people in this strip is not hearing their roots country when and how they want.” –Rube

“‘The new man assigned to the computer section isn’t working out, sir.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘He’s been running such CPU-intensive programs and diagnostics that he’s used up most of the fort’s whole monthly supply of kerosene.’” –seismic-2

“In the first panel, the cow is being affectionate; in the second panel, where the cat watches the cow warily, the cow has realized that other animals taste good. Panel three was cut by the censors.” –Old Man Shadow

“That she didn’t ask ‘Cop or fireman?’ the moment she met her long-lost father’s mustache means her dealings with The Man have all been imaginary.” –Rex_Thrillho, on Twitter

“I’m fairly certain Mary is going to swoop in and let them both know that they can agree to disagree, and that in any case, political convictions and opinions are bad. ‘You see this tasteless, beige casserole I prepared?’ she’ll say, ‘Nobody really likes it, but no-one really hates it either! It’s a nice middle-of-the-road option that everyone can grudgingly shovel into their mouths in the comforting knowledge that no-one else is really enjoying it either.’” –pugfuggly

“As absurd as the Mirakle Method and its playground-themed brainwashing technique is, I can far more readily believe in its efficacy than the idea of anyone finding Truck and Wanda to be ‘colorful characters.’” –jroggs

“I love the addition of the sign making it clear that Andy Bear is returning from a MUNICIPAL golf course — no $25 martinis at the 19th hole for the backbone of America! Just heading home after downing PBR tall boys on a patchy Par 3 course (next to the industrial district) the way the Lord intended!” –Quiggle

“Sonia, wait — you’ve got it all wrong! Mary Worth storylines can’t resolve themselves so soon! We’ve got to stuff this ludicrous conservative-father-meets-hitherto-unknown-liberal-daughter narrative full of cliches (nice peace sign on your knapsack, by the way) every day for the next, what, two months? Three years? Whatever. Also we have to do it all over again on weekends — but slower.” –Michael Beaumier

“OK, but let’s not sleep on the fact that Slylock’s very expensive custom helicopter is slower than a car from the 1950s. He should have listened to the engineers warning him that huge fox tail would wreak havoc on the aerodynamics.” –Schroduck

“The Lockhorns are spiteful and sad creatures, so they should be on Twitter, not Instagram.” –Ettorre

“NOW we know why Chip always has his hair covering his eyes: because he has freakish conjoined sclera like Sonic the damn Hedgehog.” –lo, on BlueSky

“Gina is of course completely done with this shit. She’s thinking, ‘As the only likable character in this strip, am I not way overdue for a spinoff?’” –matt w

“Let the peasants have their crime done in the shadows of tall building and sodium-vapor streetlights. The rich will risk the heist so long as it’s done under pristine moonlight, on top of the hill over the layer of city smog. It’s the only way to live (and possibly die).” –Philip

“I can think of few things more menacing than a small boy plotting the revival of 1950s borscht-belt insult comedy.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“Sarge’s emotional journey in these two panels is quite something to behold. P1: Dogs are good. I love dogs. You got that right, Otto; they sure ARE man’s best friend. I see nothing ominous about the way you phrased that or trailed off. P2: My dog likes girls?! What the fuck?” –Violet

“When last we saw Mary, she was two startled eyes peering over this man-mountain’s shoulder, but here’s the thing: we never saw her leave. So … she’s still there, right? She’s been there the whole time … right? Setting out a lovely fruit bowl while Sonia raves about ‘the man,’ lovingly packaging up the rest of the tuna casserole while Keith splutters over his root beer, and now sitting juuuuust off-panel, staring intently as Keith does an internet. ‘I must see this through to the end,’ she thinks. ‘Hell, it’s either this or listening to Wilbur’s latest nonsense, and frankly, I just don’t have that in me today.’” –els

“‘I consider myself the man of your dreams.’ ‘You’re out in public incongruously naked, talking to a bird with hair and breasts who is drinking motor oil out of a wine glass. You’re the one dreaming, and I recommend a good shrink when you wake up.’” –nescio

“Why is the reverend looking at us? Why is he looking at us with a wistful expression? Has he actually hacked my computer’s webcam?” –BeckoningChasm

“I’m just trying to figure out what they’re watching this racy content on? Broadcast TV? But that wouldn’t be that racy. Cable? But isn’t the point that the Hootin’ Holler is isolated from everywhere, so cable wouldn’t reach them? Broadband? Please. The only conclusion is that their neighbors are inside the TV performing a particularly obscene puppet show version of When Harry Met Sally.” –Lawyerbob