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GUYS! First of all, thank you for your incredibly generous response to the fundraiser. Everyone who donated will be hearing from me in the next few days to figure out what sort of reward you’d be interested in and double checking on your mailing address. And let’s have a big hand for Uncle Lumpy for his always-awesome fill-in duties. It’s fun spending a week laughing along with the comics instead of thinking of ways to make you laugh, and he always does a great job.

Meanwhile, I have observed your hilarious comments from afar and have selected a slightly delayed comment of the week!

“Mister Fox, are you by any chance familiar with the article ‘Fever Response in North American Snakes’? Published in the Journal of Herpetology? 1996? I’m afraid, Detective sir, that your racist and inaccurate stereotypes are as offensive to me as your pose is to crabs.” –Annie

And some runners up! Also funny!

“‘Hold on Tommie — isn’t your mother that worker bee who never leaves the house?’ ‘Sure is, Margo. I guess this is what they call a “character reboot.” Seems odd to spell it out like this, since I’m sure no-one remembers my old mom. Maybe they’ve updated her into a smart, independent woman for the modern age? Ha ha, just kidding, of course not.'” –pugfuggly

Mary Worth: “Tomorrow’s strip will feature explicit drawings of Tom and Beth enthusiastically shaking hands. Demands for the cancellation of the strip will flood editors’ in-boxes by mid-morning.” –LP2004

“It is now established that Newspaper Spider-Man is less harmful than a feeble, backward-delivered kick to the shin from an incompetent undercover police agent. With each experiment we come closer to a more exact measurement of Spider-Man’s incompetence. In time we will establish a precise value for his ineptness, which will of course be the most useless knowledge on record.” –Droopy Says

“I’m not sure how Heathcliff trashing that sign is really sticking it to the dog, but I dig the triumphant Black Power salute.” –Doctor Handsome

“The PARROT/RAPTOR double anagram is a rookie mistake. Leave the Jumbling to the professionals please.” –LUJBEM FEJF

“Actually, when the Governor says he’s right outside her door, he means right outside her door. There’s a Lincoln Towncar parked in the hallway and Lu Ann will have to crawl through the open passenger window before he’ll back up into the service elevator.” –Drewbear

“Snark all you want about the Governor talking like a six year old, but think for a moment to whom he is speaking.” –Zerowolf

“Yikes! For weeks Beth has been necking and nuzzling with Tom only on her right side, and now she has this terrible crick in her neck. Did no one tell her to alternate sides? Mary Worth, where were you?!” –Amos Snarkadder

“I don’t even remember what my life was like before I met you! That’s … weird, isn’t it? I keep feeling like I’m forgetting something … do I have a dog I’m supposed to feed? Ah well, it’s been three weeks, whatever it was is probably dead, so who cares. Love is SO GREAT.” –Tophat

Again, huge thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Keeping the Comics Curmudgeon fresh and up to date is hard work! So twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the time, effort, and talent he puts into giving newspaper comics every bit of the attention and respect they so richly deserve. And this time, we have a limited number of unique rewards for especially generous contributors — behold:

These are individual panels from Judge Parker and Rex Morgan, M.D. comic strips, lovingly selected, trimmed from daily and Sunday newspapers, and handcrafted into beautiful (and useful!) refrigerator magnets by faithful reader and comics panel hero Matt Crowe, who highlights a new classic panel every day on his Twitter feed, which you should totally check out. Thanks, Matt! The sensitive curation of this collection is apparent from even this small sample: many of the panels feature beloved JP and RMMD characters a) acting like entitled dicks and b) getting hit on the head with stuff.

Because of their limited availability, magnets (or at the contributor’s option, Margo bracelets from the Fall 2009 fundraiser) are available for contributions of $15 or more. If we run out of both, $15 contributors will receive a signed copy of one of Josh’s favorite panels from this year’s comics, matted and suitable for framing. Of course, contributions of any amount are warmly appreciated, and every contributor will receive a personal thank-you note from Josh, and our sincere gratitude.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here, along with an index to the banners in rotation at the top of the page and from previous fundraisers — almost 400 in all!

Thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Hey all! I’m taking next week off from the comics-mocking, but have no fear: your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be filling in with his usual hilariously avuncular stylings. So be nice to him! I shall RETURN on the 20th. But until then: you comment of the week!

“It’s a nice first try, but Ziggy hasn’t quite gotten the hang of blatant product placement yet. Here’s a quick tip: try not to make the readers imagine Ziggy having sex with the sponsor’s mascot.” –Brad

And your hilarious runners up!

“Hey, kids … did we have a nice day? Oh, sorry, and how are you, insignificant child-care provider? Did you tend to my child’s every beck and call?” –Dood

“There’s a drawer full of them … she wants to sell them! A whole drawer of horse pictures. It’s a giant flipbook, first the happy horse, but then the clouds roll in and the lightning strikes and it’s just page after page of spikes and horsemeat and rendering plants. It’s like a little horsey Guernica in that drawer. I dream about it at night, I can hear the frightened whinny of her horses. Please take her out of school and get her a DeviantArt account. Please?” –Voshkod

“We would like to remind you on this National Tea on a Propane Camp Stove Day to take time out to enjoy a nice pot of tea made on a propane camp stove. Thank you.” –Spokesman for Propane

“Inclement weather spoils another game of ‘Civil War wounded.'” –Doctor Handsome

“I’d like to imagine that the girl in front of Billy has awesome fashion sense instead of just being recycled art from who knows what era when someone thought The Kids Today were dressing like that. ‘Today,’ she said this morning. ‘I’ll push not just this podunk town’s boundaries, but America’s.’ Then she put on her Dr Bunsen Honeydew glasses, lavender polo, and red beret, smiling at the persona in the mirror. Is she French? A beatnik? Very, very old and shrinking? ‘No,’ she thought. ‘She’s an enigma.'” –Alex Blaze

“Slylock carried a magnifying glass once. However, seeing the world expanded, broken into digestible components so that no detail however seemingly meaningless was ever missed didn’t quite suit his style of hard-hitting arbitrary justice handed down from a brutal authority figure, so he elected to carry an ornate hand mirror instead and see the only font of truth necessary to convict ‘evildoers’: his own face, damning the perpetrators.” –bunivasal

“Yesterday I thought for a moment that Spider-Man, actual newspaper Spider-Man, had outplanned and outwitted and defeated a real Super-Villain. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly Doctor Doom or General Zod or something, just a fat man with lots of money who only qualifies as a Super-Villain through a loophole in the Lex Luthor Clause (and if he hypno-gas was fake, he might be disqualified entirely — I have to check the case law, but I think dicta in Gorilla Grod v. Flash is relevant here).” –Master Softheart

Apartment 3-G: “‘Fat missive from Greg’ is my new favorite euphemism.” –KreatureFeature

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.