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Happy Friday, friends! This has been a weird, short week, but fear not, we are still here for you with a comment of the week:

“I like that fact that, even in the moments before she’s getting stabbed with a frog-poison tipped arrow, the narrator in Curtis refers to the evil witch as Ms. Yahna. I guess it’s in the same style the Wall Street Journal refers to Mr. Hussein and Ms. Bathory. Respect: it’s not an official principle of Kwanzaa, but it’s nice to see it anyway.” –Voshkod

And some very funny runners up!

“I find Dolly and Billy married — and even Dolly giving birth to PJ — more believable and less nauseating than Jeffy as a wise man.” –Dan

“After a week of staring at that previous Heathcliff strip, I was so thankful for a new post that would mean not having to see Heathcliff spank mice at the top. Sadly, that seems like a more innocent time now.” –Pandrew

“For once, the goggle-eyed horror makes sense. ‘That outfit? But … Holy shit, I’m BUCK NAKED!!'” –Spunde

“We are all glossing over the main point in Mary Worth, which is that Santa Royale not only has a cake design contest, but it has a prestigious cake design contest, and also a cake design contest that has been captured on easily accessible video.” –Chris B

“What really gets me about shoe is the moon out the window. They have been drinking long enough for the moon to rise midway through the sky. I’d like to think they had all been sitting in silence, staring at nothing, until he blurted out his tragic story.” –Holly Folly

“Man, I kind of want to see the no-holds-barred cage match happening between Mary Worth’s writer and artist. ‘It’s a beauty-of-nature cake contest!’ ‘Cakes are pink and frosted, or nothing at all!’ ‘I’ll kill you, picture fiend!’ ‘Not if I kill you first, word mangler!'” –bunivasal

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Servant of the Muses: A novella by Voshkod, frequent Comics Curmudgeon commenter and occasional rider on the comment float, writing as Brad White. Jake Conrad is a two-bit detective in the city by the bay. For twenty dollars a day — plus expenses — he’ll take your case. When his assistant Clio vanishes one foggy San Francisco morning, Jake finds himself on his hardest case yet. A mysterious redhead wants Clio found, but some people want to make sure she stays lost forever. Everyone’s got a motive, and everyone’s playing their own game. If Jake can’t figure it out, his hero’s journey may be over before it begins in this noir mythical mystery.
• Never Goin’ Back: Is this new year YOUR year? Read Al Roker’s candid, inspirational, and motivating new book Never Goin’ Back about how he lost weight and stays on track with his health — and how you can start to win the weight-loss battle, too!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Panel from Spider-Man, 1/1/13

Hello, everyone! I’m back from my voyaging, and having looked at exactly zero comics since December 23rd, so I feel a little like this panel, which I saw gloriously devoid of context just now (as if any panel of Newspaper Spider-Man is improved by “context” or whatever). Real comics and commentary thereupon will arrive sometime Wednesday, maybe late afternoon-ish, as I have a week’s worth of strips to catch up on, but I wanted to put this post up to (a) assure you I was still alive and (b) let you know that you only have a few more days to vote in the most important Mary Worth-themed awards competition of the season, the Worthy Awards, produced by the always excellent Mary Worth and Me blog. Go forth and choose your faves!

I hope you all had pleasant holidays and a happy new year’s celebration! I’m making the same pledge I make every new year on this blog: To keep doing the same thing I’ve been doing for years, because I love it. Hope you do too! See you tomorrow with real comics mockery!

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Sorry, everybody who was hoping that the Mayan Apocalypse would descend today and end all your troubles: it didn’t! You have to endure your existence for who knows how much longer, and also endure my jokes for another couple of days, then I’ll take off for Christmas, then come back just after the New Year, and the cycle will continue ad infinitum. But if the world had ended today, you wouldn’t be able enjoy this comment of the week!

“If this Mary Worth storyline doesn’t feature a Rocky-style cake-decorating training montage, I’m going to start a class-action lawsuit.” –commodorejohn

Nor would you have the experience of reading these very funny runners up!

“Kudos to the A3G colorist for cleverly simulating the effect of viewing the strip through a bottle of urine.” –Cayuga

“That Herb and Jamaal just ruined my day. I know that is the goal of the strip, and they usually come close, but this one knocked it out of the park. I’m going back to bed.” –Lowell

“FAX MACHINES: The fast, modern way to connect!” –Doctor Handsome

“Does anyone think this guy wants to be a professional cake designer for any other reason than to lure children to his home?” –nescio

“I like how the three people in the background of the first panel seem to have never seen a cake before. ‘No … no, wait. It’s a … circular horse picture done in mind meltingly horrible pink? It sure is … something that someone made.'” –Tophat

Mary Worth: “It doesn’t have to be only a dream, John. It can be your worst nightmare, and I can make that happen!” –Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos

“Oh, by the way, I specialize in erotic cakes. Care to see my collection? Perhaps step on a few with your bare feet? Check out my YouTube channel!” –Chareth Cutestory

“It’s a magic hat that brings Frosty to life, right? I’m guessing he’s been a little off since he swiped this one from a boy band member in 1995.” –BigTed

“That cat in Better Half is terrifying. Just staring. Judging.” –Puzzled Pagan

“Where is Spiderman? He’s busy not stopping a trained chimpanzee for committing a crime.” –Holly Folly

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Servant of the Muses: A novella by Voshkod, frequent Comics Curmudgeon commenter and occasional rider on the comment float, writing as Brad White. Jake Conrad is a two-bit detective in the city by the bay. For twenty dollars a day — plus expenses — he’ll take your case. When his assistant Clio vanishes one foggy San Francisco morning, Jake finds himself on his hardest case yet. A mysterious redhead wants Clio found, but some people want to make sure she stays lost forever. Everyone’s got a motive, and everyone’s playing their own game. If Jake can’t figure it out, his hero’s journey may be over before it begins in this noir mythical mystery.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.