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Hello, all! Your COTW in a moment, but I just wanted to note that your favorite Uncle Lumpy is taking the reigns of the site starting tomorrow and running through Sunday the 18th. He’ll be nice to you, so be nice to him! I’ll be back with a delayed COTW on Sunday. Till then, here’s the top comment that’ll get you through:

“The knife, placed prominently at the groom’s waist, shrinks in the second vignette. On his wedding day he has been dominated in front of his new bride, and Six Differences has entered strange Freudian territory.” –Dan

And your runners up! Very funny!

“If Heathcliff and Marmaduke fought to the death, who would win? Besides us, I mean.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“And what about Batman? He’s, like, a bat? Right? Why can’t he fly? And why does Spider-Man wear his webspinners — which oughta be called spinnerets, by the way — on his wrists? Real spiders have ’em at the back of their abdomens, so Spider-Man’s oughta be on his butt, right? And why don’t you carry more Little Lulu comics?” –erdmann

“That Heathcliff cartoon is especially cruel, with the way that woman mentions kissing to the mouthless entity at her side.” –Droopy Says

“You’re a plugger if you have the side effects even though you aren’t taking the drug.” –Matthew

“CPR? Wha? We were told that you transplanted the brain of a woman into the body of a kangaroo. CPR? No one sends two television news crews to do a story on goddamn CPR.” –hogenmogen

“No, no, no, Archie is not a rerun; it is just set in 1991. Next Jughead discovers grunge. It’s nostalgia!” –Marco Polo Shirt

“I like the look of admiration the little girl is giving the the cake-taker. ‘My hero!’ she seems to be thinking. ‘Someday, when I’m big and strong, I’ll take the cake! All of it!'” –Nehemiah Scudder

“‘You can never have too many friends,’ said the man with none.” –Johnny Knuckles

“Ah-ha, so Evan is a double-crosser! And whatshisface the actor is a smug self-promoting jerk! I’m starting to think the only way you can tell the men in Apartment 3-G apart is by whatever glaring flaw they have that will eventually force the ladies to dump them.” –TheDiva

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Spanish Revenge: The age old conflict between Muslims and Christians explodes into the 21st century in an intricate tale of deadly retaliation. “Woven From The Threads Of Real Life Events And Real-Life Concerns” –Legal Times

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Ha ha, yes, Momma, it would be amusing if the two candidates in today’s election were forced to share the White House, and the presidency! But alas, it appears that one of them will in all likelihood defeat the other. If you would like to argue about their relative merits, feel free to do so, in the comments on this post! The usual discussion policies are suspended on this post, so knock yourself out. If you’d like to talk about today’s comics, you can do so over here. If you’d like to see what I think of the election, I’ll be posting things all day on your Wonkette.

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Everybody, I hope you enjoy your weekend. (And, NYC/NJ/other Sandy-affected folks: I hope your life is becoming somewhat more normal!) We send you off on Friday with our traditional Friday comment of the week:

“OK, this definitely isn’t the school bus. Doesn’t Archie own a jalopy? And isn’t Riverdale the caucasianest place in America? Why the hell are they on a city bus somewhere that has foreign-language newspapers? SPOILER ALERT: NARCOTICS.” –Doctor Handsome

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Also the implication that the patriarchy that is the Keane compound would allow Dolly to dress as a main character from a very female-centric movie like Brave rings totally false. I’d expect her to be dressed as Alice from the Brady Bunch, or maybe a mop.” –Aitherion

“‘Alright, Margo, we have to reshoot the whole scene. I mean, every single extra was looking at the camera the whole time.’ ‘Margo doesn’t do two takes.’ ‘But I think one of those extras was eating! And they all somehow put on turtlenecks when we transitioned over to camera 2.’ ‘No two takes! Margo will be in her trailer.'” –bunivasal

“I want to add ‘…as in exotic?’ every time somebody tells me what they do for a living now.” –Matt

“How could you say that anyone really looks like Dawn? Every time she turns around her body morphs into some new shape. Hells, between panels one and two she dropped two hat sizes and grew a neck.” –pugfuggly

“Oh, Dawn, everything’s okay, so long as it catches you a man. Now let’s bake another pan of Invisible Nothing.” –Patrick

“After I slash and dismember some college kids who happen to stumble in the woods up here, I’m going to lead my aerobics class! Hence my head and arm bands. Now, everyone, let’s stretch!!” –Greg

“Do you think if I dumped this cup of flour over my head, it would make me look sufficiently dead that Jim would be even more interested?” –Pozzo

“Beech Street Rules: 1. It’s OK to talk about the Beech Street Rules, but do so quietly 2. It doesn’t go to the beach, so no bikinis 3. You’d think it would be tree-lined, but it’s not, so no chainsaws 4. unless you’re juggling” –Bill Murray

“Of course actual humans don’t say ‘We humans.’ And neither will Dawn, once she presses her awkwardly-placed reset button.” –Droopy Says

“Good morning, Margo. What a lovely day! You just caught me screwing on a fresh new hand, since I wore the last one down to the nub on you… Shall I massage your temples, Margo? First, I was thinking of sliding it gently up your nose, like this.” –sporknpork

Plus, another one that was just a bit too long for consideration but still worth of your time comes from bourbon babe, unbuckled, who knows how the college-aged really talk.

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.