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Comments of the week coming momentarily, but first: did you notice that I didn’t plug my novel in this morning’s post? Well, I am plugging it now. Don’t forget that you can pre-order and sponsor my novel, via Kickstarter! The awesome original art rewards from Sally Forth/Medium Large genius Ces Marciuliano are almost all gone, but there is still one left!

Also, we still have people aiming to put a reading party/private Josh performance together in the San Francisco, Vancouver, and New Orleans areas, and now there’s interest in doing one right here in Baltimore! So email me and I’ll put you in touch with interested parties.

Oh, and remember when I invited you all to re-dialogue this Korean cartoon?

I got plenty of hilarious responses, but this one, from faithful reader S. Stout, was closest to my heart, with its Mary Worth theme:

Panel one: “Here is the American comic strip, Mary Worth! I ran all over the city to find it!”

Callout: “<-Sundance Kid”

Panel two: “Excellent…a Wilbur storyline!”

“I live to serve you, honorable Boss!”

Panel three: You may leave now. I will be feverishly masturbating to this strip.”

Panel four: (whispers) “When Wilbur eats a plate of sandwiches all by himself…well, I just lose control.”

Haha, and now that you can never feel joy again, here’s your comment of the week!

“There’s also a salad around this bug. Where’s the steaming pile of trout innards and torn-apart whole mice I ordered?” –fillmoreeast

And your runners up! Very funny!

“The plugger guy got deer ticks from his mate. We’re one step from the first Pluggers STD joke.” –Droopy Says

“How could anyone (besides June, I mean) not love Rex in the final panel? ‘Not my department! Cheese and crackers?’ ‘She needs her first bra? How about some wine?’ ‘Pregnant? Ha ha! Have some of this wonderful apple pie!’ ‘Need to dispose of a body so that the cops can’t trace the evidence? Ahhh, my little girl. Now — now you come to daddy.'” –Black Drazon

“And Scott says ‘I love you, Nina Gaines,’ as he swiftly pushes the baby off the couch into the garbage for some much-needed lovemaking.” –sporknpork

Then…Vibrations! has to be the coolest narration box ever. It’d be great to see this type of box for all the non-action in Mary Worth. Then…Sandwiches! Then…Jazz Hands!” –Wave Man

“Look, the newborn infant wails inconsolably once exposed to genuine human affection! Certainly, she is the fruit of Nina’s loins.” –TheSilentG

“Notice the discreet placement of the big green pillow so that we cannot see that Nina is still naked from the waist down and dripping all over the carpet. Meanwhile, Scott’s hanging out, waiting for the breast feeding to start.” –Chaze126

“Please, can we have a summer of Gil getting whacked in the shins by 8 year olds?” –Nekrotzar

“I don’t think the guy with the mustache and cigar in panel one is actually involved with the action. I think he’s just some sort of omniscient narrator that the characters in the strip can’t see. I appreciate this service as a way of enabling the reader to keep track of the often-fragmented Gil Thorp storylines, but it shouldn’t be long before he’s saying, ‘Nah, I don’t know what the fuck’s going on, either. I think maybe they just lost the playdowns.'” –Pozzo

“Much as I am enjoying Lucha Libre and all its implied homoeroticism, won’t Phantom get all woozy exerting himself in a bondage mask with no air holes? Fifty shades of purple, yikes, that’s going to describe his complexion.” –Lynn

“I like how the other animals (even Max) are staring uneasily at Slylock, praying that he can determine the actual culprit. They all know SOMEONE’S taking the fall for this, and due process will not be a factor.” –Doctor Handsome

“A single drop of sweat rolled down Mister Wilson’s forehead. Don’t worry about it, a soothing voice said in his head. You’ve planned for everything. The tarps are burned. The grinder is at the bottom of the lake. Everything will be fine. Now finish the job. The Mitchells’ doorbell tolled like a funeral bell. Alice opened the door, her eyes rimmed with red. ‘I know you’re missing Dennis,’ Mister Wilson said in his most gentle voice. ‘I miss him too. I’m sure the police will find him soon. I brought over some of my famous bratwurst, though, so you don’t have to worry about cooking tonight.’ Braut-wurst, not brat-wurst, the voice said, but George was going to have his little joke. He was going to enjoy this moment for a long time to come.” –Voshkod

“I like how Nina’s Dad is holding the baby like a clipboard, or like it just peed all over his jacket.” –Calico

“Staying true to his craft, the stripey-shirted, beret-wearing artist is miming his way to safety.” –Dood

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • The Hole Behind Midnight: Royden Poole is having a very bad day. “… fast, profane, full of joy, deeply intelligent, and just a lot of damn fun to read.” –Colin McComb, author of OATHBREAKER. “… like the fevered brainchild of Warren Ellis and Kenneth Hite. Smart, dark fun.” ––Matt Forbeck, AMORTALS and VEGAS KNIGHTS.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Guys, I am taking a brief break from plugging my novel to plug another project I’m involved in. You might recall Fusion, a project I contributed to where other (non-Korean-speaking) comics folks and I came up with new dialogue for some Korean comics. Fusion creator Ryan Estrada are offering a special promotional contest. Below is the strip that I re-dubbed, so to speak, shown in the original Korean.

Email me your own suggestion for what the dialogue should be. I’ll pick my favorite and the winner will get the $100 version of the Whole Story project — 1,600 pages of comics on an SD card, plus original art — plus you’ll get an e-book version of my novel when it’s done! (OK, I plugged the novel a little.) Enter now, for happy fun times! (Or just check out the comics you can buy for money and not your wit. Name your price!)

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Guys first off, extreme thanks are in order for everyone who’s pre-ordered my upcoming novel via Kickstarter. I’ve met my goal — and my stretch goal, which means that the book will be illustrated — but of course I’d love to get my book into as many hands as possible, and more presales means a better edited, better designed, and better book overall.

First, I wanted to let people who might be interested know that we have readers who’d be interested in going in on a novel-reading party in the San Francisco Bay Area, Vancouver, and New Orleans. If you live in those necks of the woods and are interested, email me and let me know and I’ll put you in touch!

I also wanted to let you know that Francesco Marciuliano, writer for Sally Forth and creator of the beloved Medium Large webcomic, has chipped in some Medium Large art that you can get your hot little hands on by sponsoring my novel To wit:

  • For $150, you get a signed and inscribed hardbound copy of my novel, plus the e-book version, plus you’ll receive your choice of a Medium Large strip from the archives. These would not be the original strips, but would be hard-drawn on better paper than the original was (and Ces adds that “frankly the art would be better after years of drawing these things”), so it’s like a … betteriginal? You could pick this infamous B.C. strip, or an entry in the glorious Teenage Girl President series, or perhaps something from Todd and Son, or your own favorite!
  • For $225, you’ll get the signed/inscribed hardbound novel, plus the e-book, plus a custom Medium Large strip on the subject of your choice (so long as it isn’t politics or pornography). Seriously, tell Ces what to draw and write, and he’ll do it!

Those of you who are thinking “But Joooosh I already bought your stupid book and now I want this, it’s not fair, I don’t want to buy it twice” fear not! If you would like one of these Medium Large strips for yourself or a friend, you can go to the Kickstarter campaign and click “Manage your pledge” (in the blue box just above the list of rewards). Then you can change your sponsorship amount and pick a new reward.

There will only be three of these rewards apiece! So you should probably act quickly if you want one. Thanks for reading this far, and thanks for sponsoring me if you’ve sponsored me. Now back to comics! (And by “now” I mean “tomorrow morning,” sorry, you will have to look at this for the remainder of the afternoon.)

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