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Hey there! Your COTW in a moment, but one last reminder that you can see me and many other funny people do funny comedy in downtown Baltimore, tomorrow (Saturday), in the Doomhilda Festival of Lights! 8 p.m., E.M.P. Collective, 307 W. Baltimore St. Be there or be somewhere less fun!

But few things are more fun than your comment of the week!

“I’m pretty ignorant of both (a) football penalty rules and (b) Gil Thorp conventions (other than the annual hideous family Christmas card). Does it mean anything that the penalty flag has breached the border of the third panel? Is it escaping?” –sally

And the very funny runners up!

“[In panel three] that is the look and posture of a guy using a urinal.” –Dale

“Otto knows that the first thing to do when trying to deter sharks is to start peeing in the water as calmly as possible.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Wait, is this whole storyline just a daydream Otto’s having while he lolls in a bubble bath?” –Doctor Handsome

“I didn’t make the paper myself. There were lots of people involved in it too. The reporters who did the stories, the editors, the boys who run the printers.” –Liam

“YES! A crime I didn’t even try to stop resulted in virtually no harm done! This is the closest I’ve come to a victory in years!” –Doctor Handsome

“In The Birds, Hitchcock deliberately made a relatively normal movie up to the moment the eponymous birds do their thing. Can we hope the writer of Mary Worth is a Hitchcock fan? Because I’ll pay good money to see the birds carry off One-Arm’s new prosthesis.” –Voshkod

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Your comment of the week shortly, but first: don’t forget that I will be reading in New York on Tuesday and doing comedy in Baltimore on Saturday the 8th, so you should be coming to one or both of those things. But will I be funnier than this week’s COTW? Enh, probably not!

“To save time, ‘How dare you?’ should be printed on Margo’s business cards.” –Pozzo

I might just barely edge out these hilarious runners up:

“I’m sorry Jim, but your incestuous feelings for your dead sister are getting in the way of my incestuous feelings for my living father.” –liam

“Evan is pretty sassy for someone who appears to have coordinated his outfit so as to best blend in with the oddly-colored walls and furniture. Maybe it’s his defense mechanism: he planned for this epic Margo confrontation with all the cunning of a chameleon.” –Marzipan

“Stop acting like you own this agency! Just go out there and sell some real estate! … We don’t sell real estate? You’re wearing a Century 21 jacket. I just figured … So, who were these clients that you were trolling for?” –hogenmogen

“Petey Parker asks what’s going on. What’s going on is the start of Kraven the Hunter, After Dark!” –Baka Gaijin

“I must admit, Dawn’s psycho friend Jim has gestured more with his one remaining arm these past few weeks than I have with TWO arms and nearly fifty years of living. Granted, they have almost ALL been ‘I’m going to KILL you!’ gestures, but still, way to cope with your recent disability, Jim!” –mojo

“I don’t know about the students’ perspective, but I know from the teaching side of things that if my class includes Peppermint Patty, Betty Cooper, and that Russian boxer from Rocky IV, then I sure as hell don’t need to worry about my Super Ego.” –Bud

“I love the fact that Crankshaft, Decrepit Lord of All Things Unpleasant, actually seems depressed by Rose’s ranting. It’s like he’s trying to work up the willpower to die so he won’t have to hear it.” –Inkewell

“Does he bring me a strategy? No, he just brings me jewelry. Have you thought about that, son? Why not get your friends matching necklaces and earrings? And maybe some nice pink cashmere turtlenecks. I got this the last time your father ‘messed up.'” –Christopher

“When your dad messes up, he doesn’t bring me a strategy. He bring the ruckus. And he brings it all night long. Have fun in therapy, son!” –Chareth Cutestory

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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• Give a book! The perfect gifts: The Cartel, A Lady Most Willing, Capitaol: Buying Our Democracy With Stolen Money, Order of the Seers, Forgotten, Cooch, Cascade, The Guilty Ones, The Dead Celebrity Cookbook Presents Christmas in Tinseltown: Celebrity Recipes and Hollywood Memories from Six Feet Under the Mistletoe, and A Drabble Family Christmas.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Very quickly, just want to let you know about two live events I’ll be doing next week!

• On December 4th in Brooklyn, I’ll be reading from The Enthusiast, my novel-in-progress, at the Animal Farm reading series. If you neglected to pre-order the book via the Kickstarter, you will have an opportunity to do so here! 8 p.m. at Legion Bar in Williamsburg. Click that link for more info, including info on other readers (one of whom is cartoonist Julia Wertz of Fart Party fame, with whom I trust you are all well acquainted).
• On December 8th in Baltimore, I’ll be doing stand-up with Doomhilda and Friends. 8 p.m. at EMP Collective downtown. Click that link for more info! But trust me when I say it will be super-hilarious, and I am working on a routine that will be appropriate for the first night of Hanukkah (and by “appropriate” I hope you understand I mean “wildly inappropriate”).