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The heatwave shows no sign of relenting … and neither do your COTW laffs. Here’s this week’s top comment!

“Remember when this small veterinary hospital didn’t have time to see emergency patients, and sent suffering animals to other random clinics? Well, thanks to Stell and her part-time magic at the front desk, apparently Dr. Harding has enough room in his schedule to provide hours of therapy for sad dogs. Is that because she’s so good at her job, or because she’s so off-putting to potential patients that no one except her personal friends will even come here anymore? In any case, it’s Southern California in 2023 — so whether it’s an dog at the vet’s office or a depressed veterinarian seeing his own therapist, I’m pretty sure the treatment will involve ketamine.” –BigTed

And your very funny runners up!

“I’ve got my ice cream scooper in my doctor’s bag, so we should be good to go.” –taig

“A pissy-faced Rex pauses long enough to admonish the narration box. ‘Don’t you mean makeshift? All bandages are temporary.’” –Hibblelton

“‘Except for the fact that people don’t remember their infant years at all, you’ll look back with fondness on these days of sitting outside alone in an empty yard with me staring at you creepily from the doorway.’ I’m starting to think Marvin’s dad might be nuts.” –Chance

“A sticky note that says ‘Call Mary’? Might as well just get a tattoo that says ‘breathe.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Can’t wait for Snuffy to gradually be replaced by his cousin who is really into pickleball and only make a few more appearances in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Pique L’Ball over the next 70 years.” –Truckosaurus

“It seemed a sucker’s bet to Thirsty: who could ruin their marriage faster? Obviously, an alcoholic who’s drunk all the time or in the process of getting there. But he had underestimated Hi’s complete apathy towards Lois and his ability to lecture her about her feelings with utmost dismissal.” –Old Man Shadow

“I wondered a bit in yesterday’s strip why Barney Google was just following Snuffy around while Snuffy explained how the hillbillies played pickleball. But with today’s strip, it all came together for me: Snuffy is Barney’s Virgil, leading him through the different levels of hillbilly hell. Today we’ve reached the second circle, where hillbillies who’ve committed the sin of trying to adopt flatlander ways are cursed with eternal injury.” –Thelonious_Nick

“Looks like Coach Thorp is flying a twin-engine Beechcraft Baron. If he owns it, that set him back about $1.5 million. If he’s renting it from the local general aviation airfield, he’s paying maybe $600 an hour. I guess gambling on your own team to consistently lost the playdowns really does pay off.” –Voshkod

“Does the outpost where Crock takes place have running water? That seems unlikely, so the ‘ring in the bathtub’ must be a euphemism for something else. You know what they almost certainly do have there? Dysentery!” –Nekrotzar

“I’ve always rather liked Grossie’s mysterious friend, with her 1950s-Parisian-streetwalker/beleaguered-switchboard-operator vibe, and I can’t decide if it’s tactful or negligent that no one ever mentions the tongue, tumor, or parasitic blobfish on the back of her head.” –Violet

“‘To summer?’ they say, wondering when this strip might actually be published.” –pugfuggly

“The writer of Gasoline Alley has heard of the controversy about ‘AI Art,’ but never bothered to investigate further — I position I frankly respect.” –Ettorre

“When your best lead is that a month ago a couple of U-Hauls came through town, you don’t have any leads.” –jerp+jump

“The horror here is that we’re in the ‘uncanny valley,’ that visceral negative response to a figure that seems ‘almost’ human. But enough about Rufus — that robot seems nice.” –Lawyerbob

“The casual reader looks at these two panels and would logically assume that Rex is getting undressed so he can put on his PJs, but we Curmudgeonites know better — these ARE his PJs. That’s his pajama polo, his ever-so-comfy pajama khakis, and don’t forget the pajama belt, perfect for putting the kibosh on any late night hanky-panky with his cleavage-heavy wife. (We can’t see them in-panel, but I assume he’s just slipped on his pajama Rockports as well, thus completing the pajamensemble.)” –els

“Superior to Rufus? Low bar, ART, low bar.” –But What Do I Know?

“There are many ways to make a fun joke out of mass canine synchronized urination in an unnervingly unnatural-looking park, but this isn’t one of them. No tree has more than one dog pissing on it. Why is this tree so insecure when no dogs are choosing to double up on occupied trees to avoid it? There just aren’t enough dogs! The logic is completely inconsistent and I will not stand for egregious plot holes like this in my dog pee humor.” –jroggs

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Happy Friday everyone! It’s the second Friday of the month, and that means … the Internet Read Aloud, my live comedy show, is BACK and better than ever in Los Angeles! It’s free, so please come (at 8:30 pm, I forgot to put that on the poster, whoopsie). Here’s the FB event!

And here’s your long-awaited (is seven days long?) COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“The refrigerator and dishwasher that Blonde was clearly loading are now replaced by Dagwood in a frilly apron scrubbing dishes by hand. It’s obvious that this is some sort of cuck cosplay they’re livestreaming from their garage. Sadly, it’s a much more realistic scenario than Dagwood being employable as an office manager, particularly when his Eisenhower era brain thinks that ‘Looking good, gorgeous!’ can also get him out of a due diligence presentation.” –Quiggle

And here are your very funny runners up!

“I’m doing my part, unlike every other person in this town. You lazy-ass slackers make me sick.” –Merry Mirth

“His license plate says DOGNAP. The police never made the connection because they’ve been pronouncing it like it was a French word.” –Tom T.

“They’re all pictures of the outline of your skull and nothing else, but, sure, OK.” –taig

“Good thing we sprung for that eggproof glass barrier, it’s holding up pretty well! If I win this again next year, though, we’ll probably have to switch to bulletproof.” –jroggs

“Ha, ha, what fraction of the daily calls to the Santa Royale police department do you think Mary makes? A third? Half? Ninety percent?” –Thelonious_Nick

“A matter I’m not delusional about is that people do not stop having sex just because they get old. Old people may slow down a bit but many of them absolutely still fuck on a regular basis and enjoy sexual activities. And I’m a very sex positive person who enjoys openly horny works. What I am building to hear, is that I’m not inherently objecting to a strip in the newspaper trying to provide some fanservice for its target audience of out-of-touch old folks. I absolutely DO object to using Rufus from Gasoline Alley for that purpose, which I believe constitutes a war crime.” –ectojazzmage

“Loving the expression, love the posture. Yup, just a walrus sitting in a knarr doing walrus things, with my valuable blubber and my valuable ivory and my valuable fur and my valuable … uh, why are you all looking at me like that?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Gil is going to start to believe only by winning Coach of the Year can he bring his family back together, even if it means putting more hours in the office and seeing them less.” –Philip

“Run, little girl, run like the wind! They’re trying to make you take part in a Judge Parker plot!” –Peanut Gallery

“I like how the sheriff’s ‘again’ implies that this has already happened to him today, maybe multiple times? It’s a shame that we don’t get to see him also chased by a puma, a wolf, maybe a sasquatch? This could have been a whole Sunday strip!” –pugfuggly

“‘Like Dante before me, I use my art to roast those I don’t like. Behold!’ ‘Um…’ ‘It’s … he’s right there! It’s my brother, Jim! He’s always wasting money in Vegas!’ ‘That doesn’t look like your brother … it looks like … something … I guess.’ ‘What? It couldn’t be more clear! That’s Jim!’ ‘Maybe if I kind of … squint?’ ‘That’s it! You’re in the next Hell comic!’ ‘It’s a good thing … uh … no one will be able to recognize me.’ ‘Shut up!’” –Old Man Shadow

“The cops shake their heads. ‘Not one dead dog … and this guy calls himself a dogfighter. Tsk, tsk.’” –Hibbleton

“Where do I get those Rex Morgan, M.D., Squarebutt Trousers ?™??” –Babe Vigoda

“I am so sorry to posit that, judging from the expression of the troll on the left, there is a third option that involves neither murder nor the consumption of Hagar for food. The troll on the right? He’s fine, he’s having a ‘Look at meeee, I’m Haaaagar’ kind of time, but the one on the left is down for some kinky shit. And Hagar, well, he’s not not into the idea, his club might get a workout / Eddie’s ball isn’t the only thing that’s gonna be wet / etc.” –els

“Rex is about to become the star of their next viral video, ‘UNBELIEVABLE! Killjoy Neighbor RUINS Party!!’” –TheDiva

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks! Next week is the second Friday of the month, and that means … the Internet Read Aloud, my live comedy show, is BACK and better than ever in Los Angeles! It’s free, so please come (at 8:30 pm, I forgot to put that on the poster, whoopsie). Here’s the FB event!

Also, it’s a Friday, so you know what that means: it’s COMMENT! of the week time:

“The fact that Greta’s bow tie made it through her ordeal makes me think her dognapper couldn’t have been that bad. Unless he meant it to be part of her ring outfit, like Rowdy Roddy Piper’s kilt.” –Pozzo

And the runners up are also very funny!

“For a brief, brilliant moment, I thought that ‘Kate’ was supposed to be Kate Middleton, and this strip was all about how Mr. Wilson flew all the way to London just to rub our 247-year old independence in the first British Royal’s face he saw. A shitty and pointless move, to be sure, but aside from the effort involved, totally fits with his brand.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Did … Sarah not know what a ‘graduation’ was? With the ‘smarts’ she’s displaying here, I don’t think she’ll have to worry about the ceremony or her presents anytime soon, if you catch my drift.” –2+2=7

“The into panel is a master class in half-assing a legacy strip. There’s enough detail to the stars, and enough of them, that it was probably supposed to be some design — then after 30 or so and realizing how many states there are in this country, just calling it a day. Let freedom ring!” –Quiggle

“The skies have opened and countless tentacled monstrosities from nightmarish dimensions beyond our universe have poured forth to devour the inhabitants of earth. It’s the grand finale for the human race, and the decapods are fully on board with this.” –Schroduck

“I’ve always thought Kangaroo Lady was too young and photogenic to be in the Pluggers cast. All the other characters are grandmas or late-50s men, and the art doesn’t downplay their flaws. Kangaroo Lady plays ‘put-upon mom’ or ‘annoyed wife’ roles, but there’s no ‘young husband’ equivalent to her. Scenes like today’s just make her look like she married an old guy. So stop bitching and make sure his will is current, Kangaroo Lady. You know what you signed up for.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“The barkeep is in his own personal hell, trapped with three guys who want nothing more than blast after blast of cheap bourbon while he’s thinking, ‘But I make a killer elderflower-and-lime martini!’” –jvwalt

“Okay, comics, I can suspend my disbelief on a lot of things, but if you expect me to think that Leroy Lockhorn is the type of guy who would step away to make a phone call so as not to bother other people, you expect too much!” –Old Man Shadow

“Loretta is trying to get Leroy interested in men in uniform, so that they can finally do one of her fantasy night suggestions. So far, results have been mixed.” –pugfuggly

“Zero is doing his patriotic duty of selling new lawnmowers, which many hardware store ads have assured me is part of 4th of July tradition.” –Philip

“Looks like Dagwood fell asleep as Elmo was talking. I imagine Elmo stood there for a few awkward minutes, as Dagwood’s snores began, wondering if the conversation was over. Eventually he wanders off, ruing once more his own inability to make friends his own age. 10 minutes later, Dagwood emerges from his slumber, unaware that any time has passed, and mutters his punchline before dozing off again. Perfect, 10/10, no notes.” –Truckosaurus

“Maybe Saul and Mary inferred a bit too much but wait and see what will happen when the news will report of all those people found dead in an abandoned warehouse allegedly housing dog-fighting. All of them killed by small but precise and merciless bites.” –Ronconi Riccardo, on Twitter

“RMMD knows its target audience doesn’t like being told what to do so it publishes its PSA warnings after the fact. Freedom!!” –Where’s Rocky?

“I don’t care about Trixie transitioning into wearing a bikini, as long as she doesn’t transform into a baby whose parents pay attention to her. I can’t take that much change.” –nescio

“So, Brigman has never seen a T-bone steak? That looks like a cube steak that somebody hammered a bare bone into. Saul likes to play tricks on his wiener dog. ‘Heh heh … she thinks I gave her a thirty dollar piece of beef, but I’m only five bucks out of pocket.’” –Ukulele Ike

“‘Hmmm … maybe I can make their job easier’ = the Meddler’s Creed.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Look, I can accept that this abomination of a Six chixen has weirdly spindly robot legs, that’s par for the course, but what I can’t accept is that I have to — in admittedly a backhanded way — compliment the artist on this one, as they managed to make me think that every single letter in this panel is written backwards, even though they are all facing the right way.” –els

“Dog-fighting is a barbaric and terrible amusement, of course. But if we’re dealing with animal cruelty in Mary Worth, let’s start with its most common and ongoing form. I’m talking about scaring the bejeezus out of the neighborhood doves.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“It’s a couple houses down. Working couple. Predictable schedule. Always out of their house from 8 to 6 during weekdays. No security system. Key under the flower pot at the end of the porch. Ugly interior decorating. Fireworks left all over kitchen counter where anyone could tamper with the fuses. Don’t really know them.” –jroggs

“The best part of this is that Rex gets to do his favorite doctor gag. ‘How many fingers am I holding up? More than you currently have.’” –Artist formerly known as Ben

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!