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You guys, I have promised cute photos of bird bands and I HAVE DELIVERED. Or rather, you have delivered, and I’m just putting them up.

First up is a pic from faithful reader Joe, the Upper Evergreen Guy. His tropical bird had no legs to band, so he was forced to drastic measures.

Faithful reader Beth K. has no bird to band, but does have a remarkably mellow cat to crown.

Renee J’s dog is similarly more tolerant of random objects than most domestic beasts:

“There actually is a population of geese that lives on the pond behind my house,” says faithful reader Esther Blodgett, “but they’re mean SOBs if you aren’t armed with bread crusts and likely would have resisted my efforts to band them. Fortunately, I found this critter in my back yard. He put up a good fight, but I was able to tag him.”

A bird of a different sort was banded up in Alaska:

Faithful reader Baka Gaijin had his own favorite bird in mind for this band:

And faithful reader Jerrod Kingery found his band too hot to handle — literally! Or maybe metaphorically? I dunno. There’s an oven mitt involved, anyway.

Finally, faithful reader Red Greenback banded a Mark Trail action figure (note: not officially licensed) and created his own Unnaturally Large Animal Shot.

Most everyone who’s donated: your band should be winging its way to you right about now, if you haven’t gotten it yet! The last batch is going in the mail tomorrow. One sad note though: some people have found that the devilish machines at the post office have difficulty dealing with the awesomeness of bible bird bands, and are getting envelopes like this:

If this monumental tragedy happens to you, please let me know and send me your address — I have extras and will resend. (If you’ve already told me, your band is going out tomorrow.) Similarly, if your band doesn’t show up by, say, the middle of next week, let me know and I’ll send again.

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Hey all, some very quick CsOTW for you — there will be some bird band photos coming later this weekend, I promise! But first, your week’s top comment:

“What I want to know is how Mary Worth is going to top itself at being both completely ludicrous and thuddingly boring?” –commodorejohn

And the runners up! Very funny!

“ANSWER: Slylock obviously arrests both of them for being amphibians in a duck neighborhood. Can’t let the greenies ‘frighten the ducklings’, you know.” –Chyron HR

“Why is our crimefighting friend breaking up a schoolyard fight when in the background Larry Loon is murdering and devouring Freddy Fish? Have you no sense of proportion, Sir!!!” –Dennis Jimenez

“OK, so the unromantic types around here want Bobby to lower the boom on poor Gina, but remember, as of yesterday, he’s not letting her go! I assume that means he loves her and not that he’s planning to hold her in the hotel for the mob.” –Comcis Fan

“Don’t expect Miss Buxley to relate, Gimmick-character-from-the-early-90’s. Big tits are never obsolete.” –Doctor Handsome

“Isn’t Ann worthy of our compassion rather than our scorn? She’s so in thrall to her crippling sexual addiction that she’s reduced to sexually harassing a DeGroot. Underneath that gruff facade and pitch-black hair-helmet is a damaged child so lost that she doesn’t understand it’s hilariously apt that she works at ‘Weenie World.'” –Dr. Moreau

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Hey everybody! I am back from my undisclosed location and I must say a HUGE thanks to (a) Uncle Lumpy for his hilarious filling in and (b) everyone who donated in the fundraiser! You’ll all be getting personal emails from me this week, and hopefully many of you are already enjoying your bible bird bands. Some excellent photographic evidence of real life bands in the while! Faithful reader Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled notes that her canine companion “Lolly has co-opted it; apparently, she’s planning to go undercover with Andy to figure out the Great Bible Band Mystery.”

Faithful reader Plastic Fruit added a band to a more appropriate critter. (Sadly, those books on the right are not written by Mark Trail, despite appearances.)

There are still some bands left, so stragglers can still get their hands on them if they want! Just let me know!

And one final note before I present your COTW: The last time we did a fundraising giveaway, with the beloved What Would Margo Do? bracelets, Uncle Lumpy also got first crack at an amazing soap opera strip panel, the great Santa Royale shootout. This time around, I am green with envy that he got first crack at Apartment 3-G’s depiction of high art absurdism:

God, I wish I could make things go viral just by shouting “This is going viral!” It’d make my life a lot easier.

Anyway, let’s all enjoy this comment of the week!

“Jughead’s hat … Ah, yes. I’ve seen this before, but I clicked on the link anyway, half afraid it would turn out to be something like an Urban Dictionary term for a horrifically botched circumcision.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Count Weirdly is hard at work inventing a formula that allows people to live forever in utter harmony and bliss. Slylock, observing from an alcove, thinks he may have stolen a Bunsen burner from Reeky the Rat’s meth lab …” –geekwhisperer

Judge Parker — “Key lines in today’s strip: ‘You should try driving it’; ‘Let’s open a bottle of wine’; ‘She’s the world’s best enabler.’ Has MADD heard about this?” –bbofun

“I don’t think the creators of A3G quite have a handle on internet terms. Soon it’ll be ‘This place is Twittering!’ and ‘Look out, it’s getting AOL in here!’ –TheTJ

The Phantom — “You know, when I predicted a lucha libre-based police force, I kind of thought I was joking.” –commodorejohn

Funky Winkerbean — “The bookseller might NOT being going out of business if he hadn’t let the creepy guy bully him into carrying three aisles’ worth of Lisa’s Story” –Hank

Fall 2011 Fundraiser — “What pops up when someone clicks my goose is already personal enough, thank you very much.” –odinthor

Mary Worth — “Gina works her way down her stalking list:
Phone message – done
Express mail delivery of tapeworm/raunchy negatives/snakeskin – done (ick)
Carrier pigeon (am I too heavy?)
Phase through hotel wall, like Kitty Pryde (get a running start)
Ouija board (fun but satanic; only for dead people?)
Stadium card section showing giant ponytail
Blimp rental OMG – $$$!
Stow away on hotel dinner cart (too I Love Lucy?)
Transporter beam (buy fly repellent; rent Uhura uniform with ear thingy)” –Walker of Dog

“Wow, if I thought Judge Parker was out of touch before, the suggestion that anyone, anywhere has actually read an article in an airline magazine has taken it to dizzying new heights.” –Violet

Mark Trail — “The kiss in panel two looks like two department store dummies in storage.” –Illustrator Steve

Curtis — “Yeah, she chased away every woman I was ever interested in. Now I just cut young boys’ hair late at night. Say, you mind if I turn down the lights and put on some Barry White?” –Pozzo

“How does anyone in the Popeye universe know when to find something incongruous?” –Chip Whittle

“So, how do you tell when a Gil Thorp character has a personality disorder?” –Chip Whittle

Pluggers — “You might be a plugger if you’re a dog and you’re wife’s a chicken, but gay marriage makes you uncomfortable.” –Effluvius Erratus

“24 hours Later: ‘This stupid Spidey Tracer must be broken because it’s telling me Spider-Man spent the last 24 Hours doing nothing but watching TV.'” –DaveyK

Tthis is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.