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Here is something that you might not know, because I haven’t really publicized it much on this blog: 18 months ago, after almost ten years of freelancing, I took a full-time job as associate online news editor at ITworld, a very nice site where I got to work with great people covering technology. Four weeks ago, I quit. My last day was Friday.

I didn’t quit because the job was bad (it wasn’t, and if you live near Boston or San Francisco and would like to apply for it, you can). But I was burned out on the process of coming up with quick reactions to news all the time. And what I really wanted to do — what I’ve wanted to do ever since this blog started connecting with a large audience, years ago now — was be funny, full time.

You can read all my process-y feelings about it over on my jfruh.com blog, but the short version is that I’ve quit my job to try to do full-time writing, mostly funny. This is completely bonkers, obviously. I couldn’t do it without my wife supporting me (in more ways than one) in this decision, but it’s still pretty terrifying. Of course I shall continue to mock Mary Worth over here; but I hope you all will come along with me as I try out other stuff as well. I have several projects in the works, some of which will never see the light of day, some of which will hopefully blow your minds. The best way to follow all the stuff I’m doing is to follow my Twitter or Facebook or Google+ or Tumblr (which is also just a regular blog that has an RSS feed and everything). And of course I’ll announce the big stuff here.

Oh, and if you’re a professionally funny person who’s always thought, “Gee, I’d sure like to collaborate with Josh Fruhlinger on something,” well, now’s your chance! Shoot me an email at bio@jfruh.com. I suddenly have some free time on my hands.

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Rejoice! For the week’s top comment is upon you.

“Is anyone else weirded out by how Slylock Fox is standing? ‘Don’t mind me, I just have a tape recorder down my pants, if you know what I mean.’ *Wink* Wink*” –Holly Folly

And behold, there are hilarious runners up:

“Looking to sober up? Play the Mary Worth drinking game! The rules are simple: take one shot every time you see a person who isn’t white while she is in New York. Spoiler alert: at Mary’s insistence they are filming the story arc in Calgary.” –NoahSnark

“AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! I can see Margo’s waist! I didn’t even know she had a waist! I don’t know, man, I just sort of assumed you got to the navel and she just … stopped! I’m freaking out!” –bunivasal

“I don’t think Jeff even knows what Mary said. Judging from the dazed look on his face, I’d say he’s just automatically answering out of his drunken stupor. Expect ‘When?’ ‘Where?’ and ‘How?’ to follow, quite possibly after Mary’s already left the room.” –Pozzo

“You ARE way out of line, Nina. Margo has never claimed to be anyone’s ‘friend’, much less yours.” –Chryon HR

“I could be misremembering completely here, but didn’t Gina have to leave New York in the first place because her father unwittingly witnessed a brutal gangland murder? And now that Gina has returned to the scene of the crime, everyone she ever met or spoke to during her sojourn in Santa Royale is mysteriously called together to assemble in one convenient place … Yeah, I know, I’m always secretly going ‘please God, let this Mary Worth plot end in a gruesome mob-related massacre,’ but this time I really think we might be on to a winner.” –Higgs Boatswain

“I was thinking magenta is a poor color choice for sneaking up on someone in a forest, but Mark probably thinks he blends into the background of whatever the crazy potheads are hallucinating.” –nescio

“After Gina ran off from the diner to be with her soccer daddy without so much as a by your leave to Mary, Mary jets across the country to attend a party with a ‘special event.’ I hope the ‘special event’ is the kidnapping of Mary for ransom that no one will pay.” –Gabacho

That guy’s more of a Stooges Three, if anything.” –Mibbitmaker

“Spider-Man will have to defeat him in a half-assed fashion stand around being slightly clever while Laurel Hardy’s super-power backfires and he pushes himself down the stairs. Or maybe the director will just call security.” –Nekrotzar

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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  • Do you want to go to the moon?: Three lucky young winners will spend 172 hours on the moon at lunar base DARLAH 2. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Hello, everybody! Are you interested in this week’s top comment? Yes, of course you are.

“Whatever Spiderman is doing, it seems to please the gods of Asgard. ‘We behold the clenching of your thighs with great delight, mortal!'” –nescio

And the runners up, very amusing!

“Nola also has a vestigial nose between her disproportionately large eyes — all the better to smell Mary’s cup of I-told-you-so.” –Comcis Fan

“Wow, just look at Scott work his seduction magic! ‘She died so young and so tragically. I suppose I should tell you the whole story, it’s just that it makes me so sad, and angry, and sexily complicated…'” –pugfuggly

“Nothing destroys a foot fetish faster than a someone sporting feet with three, equal sized, bulging toes.” –Izzy

‘We may need him in case anyone shows up!’ What, like he’s going to be the receptionist?” –Hogenmogen

“Wait, you … you’re not a furry? You said the stilted code phrase and everything!” –bunivasal

In her reply to my second text, Summer suggested that I begin my sentences like a normal person.” –Chareth Cutestory

“The texting portion of this Funky Winkerbean plot had better wrap up soon, considering Nerd McNerderson’s felt need to give the rundown on the text message count. ‘Her reply to my second text,’ eh? Is there enough room in a speech balloon if this goes on for another week? ‘I just sent my 5th bewildered reply to her third threat of a restraining order. Or was it fourth? Who’s counting?'” –Brian Jones

“I mean, a proper Parker engagement ring would have a diamond big enough to stub your toe on if you accidentally dropped it. This is probably a Parker friendship ring.” –Mark B.

Thus begins a bizarre fetish for Dolly: she eventually grows up and marries an Oldsmobile. The family pretends not to notice, but they all die a little more than usual inside.” –Noel Schornhorst

“Could we please, sometime in the next few weeks, see Abbey and Sam riding over their land and talking about how many thousands of acres they own? I like my fantasies multifaceted.” –Poteet

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Do you want to go to the moon?: Three lucky young winners will spend 172 hours on the moon at lunar base DARLAH 2. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime!
  • Twisted Psychological Suspense: To save her son, Megan must put herself at the mercy of a maniac. Is Glenn a cold-blooded killer out to destroy her world piece by piece, or is the truth even more twisted? Megan thought she knew fear, but her nightmare is only beginning … truth is more terrifying than fear!
  • Lexapros and Cons: In comedian Aaron Karo’s hilarious debut novel, Chuck Taylor knows his OCD is out of control. But to get a handle on his life, he’s going to have to break some hardcore habits … and get his hands dirty.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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