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It’s another comment of the week, and an early one at that! I know I usually keep my ad plugs for the end, but there’s one I wanted to draw your attention to up top: your eyes do not deceive you, there is a Slylock Fox Spot The Differences Game for the iPhone and iPad! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!

Ahem. And now, your comment of the week:

“That’s definitely not Dudley Do-Right we see in Mark Trail. It’s his religious cousin, Dudley Deuteronomy.” –Mibbitmaker

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I’m hoping Batuik is setting us up for a Funkiverse Time Shift Revelation: ‘So if your father was Smokey Williams, you must know all about the Crankshaft Massacres! The fireball that engulfed his family … The Garden Club decapitations … And the final horrific school bus crash into the Icy Cuyahoga River … Your father could have stopped it all, but he just made it worse! Why? Why? WHY?'” –Lorne

“It looks like I’m engaged to a jock! Which explains why, as a nerd, I just got my glasses broken. What, you didn’t think I could find a way to whine about even the most positive moments of my life? LES MOORE, MOTHERFUCKERS. RESPECT.” –Windier E. Megatons

“It’s too bad Les never met Lu Ann. He could wax pseudo-philosophical on his front porch swing to his heart’s content, and she’d just be content to sit at his side thinking ‘Wow, a porch swing, how very quaint in a bland, suburban way!’ They would be completely absorbed in their own tiny little worlds, and thus completely happy together.” –TheDiva

“‘Oh, please, Jughaid — not another apple!!’ ‘Nope!! I brung you an apple, Miz Prunelly!!’ ‘O … kay.'” –Chyron HR

“So McQueen is operating on the assumption that people are going to drive to wherever-in-the-hell valley to look at transient waterfowl that may or may not have biblical bands around their legs after reading an as-yet-to-be-written article in a wildlife magazine? I think the mercury-based hair dye he uses may be seeping in through the skin (note: Don’t forget the eyebrows next time!).” –geekwhisperer

“I could stay here forever, Paul. And in fact, I’ll have to, because at the rate I’m apparently aging between panels one and three I’ll be dead in a matter of seconds! Just bury me where I fall.” –Windier E. Megatons

“Even more bizarre than the ideas that tourism is bad for the valley or that tourists will be attracted to Bible-geese is the idea that people actually read and are inspired by the articles Mark or Kelly churn out in their poorly-managed dead-tree publication filled with content by people who can’t string together a natural sounding sentence in conversation, much less on paper.” –Alex Blaze

“Well, Princess, it seems my bizarrely complex and ill-conceived plan to spread the Good Word through golden Bible verses attached to a tiny population of migratory water-fowl has drawn the attention of two viciously self-centered nature writers whose readership of insane shut-ins must surely number in the low dozens. Deliver these micro-engraved platinum acorns to our most powerful ally that she may know our darkest fears have come to pass. Hurry! To the Queen of the Ants!” –firedmyass

“With all my heart, I hope this will finally be the adventure where it’s revealed that a steady stream of men with interesting facial hair are concocting fake conspiracies in an effort to help their friend Mark avoid the women in his life.” –Jocelyn Knockersbury

“Hey Sergeant MacQueen, can your message be delivered in the form of randomly-placed dog urine? If so, you’ve made the right choice.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“‘Now that you mention it, what AM I doing here? I could be home, watching TV!’ It’s sort of ironic that Peter works for a newspaper, actually.” –Carly

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Dragon Who Loved Me: G.A. Aiken’s fifth book in The New York Times bestselling Dragon Kin series! A wicked and witty tale of one fearless, outspoken heroine teamed up with an incorrigible barbarian. “Sexy and outrageous humor.”–Romantic Times

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Your comment of the week shortly, but, first a very important note from a faithful reader who (for obvious reasons) wishes to go nameless! I haven’t been covering Luann for a while, so you’ll have to trust me when I say that the long-simmering fight between Toni and Anne Eiffel for Brad’s squishy, passive love is proceeding apace! But what if it weren’t long-simmering? What if it were hot and fast and happening all at once? Wouldn’t you like Luann artist Greg Evans to draw that for you? Well, he has, on his blog. YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYBODY.

Aaaand now that you’re done contemplating that, why not contemplate the comment of the week?

“I don’t mean to get all legalistic, but Miranda warnings do not go with ‘today’s litigious society.’ What you really need is some joke combining ‘McDonald’s coffee’ and ‘poop.'” –Lawyerbob

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Seriously? A motor home? You can just do it right there in the barn, ya know. The horse ain’t gonna tell.” –Apeman

“That’s actually the North Beech diet, referring to a particular tree on Smith property. Its bark was Loweezy’s sole sustenance for three weeks. She lost 25 pounds and her upper lip, but then she switched to a sweetgum and packed it all back on.” –Walker of Dog

“Slylock picked the panda because the panda is totally okay with going six months without getting laid.” –commodorejohn

“Max Mouse is being viciously sexually harassed by that crab. Only the fish and seagull are horrified to see Max so mishandled; the dockworkers are indifferent, Slylock and his colleague are willfully unaware, the wolf and walrus are titillated, and the panda is too baked on eucalyptus to make his eyes converge on any one fixed point.” –A.E.F.

“Gramma Rose definitely has the high trousers fast talking routine down. What do you think about kids? What type of underwear are you wearing? Do you bathe in the nude? Who are you? Suppose to say I’m supposing. What do you mean by that! Well that’s just a fine set of crackers.” –Government Cheese

“Gasoline Alley: Where ugly people say pointless things. Forever.” –Lorne

“I really enjoy how far away Lois is from this man. ‘DITTO NEEDS SOME NEW SCHOOL CLOTHES! … NO, I SAID ‘DITTO’! MY SON! YES, HIS NAME IS DITTO! WHAT? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OVER HERE! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! I’M MARRIED!!!'” –Austria

“I’m not sure if the hallway to Petey and MJ’s apartment is higher than their floor (and with no step down, to boot), or if the newspaper is levitating. No wonder MJ has to strike such an awkward pose just to approach the paper. Could this be the work of Forced Perspective Man? ‘Ha ha! I will use my incredible powers of bending time and space to provide minor inconveniences to Spider-Man so that he will whine himself to death! My plan is perfect!'” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

Oh and also there is this long and amazing comment from longtime reader/commenting hero Master Softheart, which is not the first comment of his that made me say, “Gee, I wish I had written that.”

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Oh, hi, is your comment of the week SHOCKINGLY EARLY? Well, I guess that depends on how easily you’re shocked, but here it is.

“Let me get this straight: Dagwood is supposed to be OCDing about Vanna White’s farewell messages, and he’s figured out the ratio of ‘bye-byes’ to ‘goodbyes,’ but the only detail he knows about the ‘so longs’ are that they happen ‘occasionally?’ Is the ratio 23 bye-byes to a so long? 47? 112? NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAGWOOD. MY GRADUATE THESIS IS VERY DISAPPOINTED.” –T Campbell

And here are your hilarious runners up!

“You’re being threatened by the mob? There has never been a better time to raise the roof, amirite Gina?” –Stevesie

“So, this part of Mark Trail is a dream sequence, right? I mean, when I find myself in a cabin being served tea by Pocahontas, talking with Super Mario about how where to find Steve McQueen, I just assume I’m dreaming.” –pugfuggly

“While it may seem like he’s referring to the gay community, that’s clearly not the case. No self-respecting gay lumberjack would ever hang a yellow-and-lime-green rug diagonally on their wall.” –Master Mahan

“I bet a lot of women start looking up A.A. meetings and therapists as soon as Gil leaves their apartment.” –Doctor Handsome

“This is my friend, Ed Crankshaft. And by ‘friend,’ I mean bitter, lonely old man who follows me around making abysmal puns until I can find someone to fob him off on. Well, he’s your problem now!” –Pozzo

“That intervention went by so quickly, it makes Gil the One-Hour Photo Hut of alcoholism treatment. ‘Got the DTs? Call GT!'” –The Gringo Kid

“I lost my wife during the second deployment … tank accident … uh, no, car accident, cars, that’s it. Car. Yeah. A Toyota. [Pause.] I’m very popular in the community.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“Hey Margo, exactly what is it about a guy from Hoboken that makes him inappropriate? Was it that he went out for a real meal rather than eat that box of baking soda you have boiling on the stove?” –Thomas B.

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.