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Ha ha, you know how sometimes you’re just having a relaxing Friday evening with your wife, and then you up and forget to put the comments of the week on your blog? It could happen to you! Here’s the top comment:

“Remember the good old days when a guy would teach a girl how to play golf so he could hold her as she practiced her follow-through? Now it’s all ‘you record me’ and ‘I’ll record you.’ Kids: Missing the point since 2008.” –BigTed

And here are the also hilarious runners up:

“Was Mary wearing that kicky lace vest all week, or are her undergarments creeping to the outside of her clothes, in order to make an escape?” –Patrick

“Throughout this whole whinefest, Gina keeps her order pad poised for action. Is this so the other customers will think she’s just taking the longest order ever? ‘Yes dear, I’ll have a turkey sandwich … with tomatoes … and lettuce. The lettuce should be under the turkey. I suppose cheese would be good, too. Not too strong a cheese, perhaps white American. That should be a square so it won’t hang off the sides of the sandwich. The cheese should be between the tomatoes. For bread, I will have … um … let me see … a white bread but not too spongy a bread because I have dentures. I assume a pickle comes with that…'” –Ellie

“I like to read this strip as if it’s set in Hootin’ Holler. ‘Shore ya don’ wanna hang around a few more days?’ ‘I’d like ta jedge, but I should git back.'” –Dood

“I doubt he’s buttering toast. Probably he’s scraping the gold ingots the waiter brought him as a gift from Table 5, to make sure it’s not gilded lead.” –Spunde

“Local Dominatrix Lets ‘Cat’ Out Of ‘Bag’; Death Toll At 132 And Rising” –Walker of Dog

“‘That is interesting!’ says Doc in the middle panel of Mark Trail. The weird emphasis must mark his growing impatience with Mark yammering around about golden bands while a perfectly delicious goose is sitting right there. ‘You should take that and get it analyzed! I’ll stay here and pre-heat the oven!’” –Lorne

“Look, Les, this is a boilerplate contract. Sign it or not. It’s not worth my time to go to the lawyers and rewrite the parts you don’t think apply to you. Been nice working with you. BTW, the statement ‘been nice working with you’ was standard boilerplate agent talk. It’s been a real pain in the ass. Good riddance, asshole.” –Mark B.

“We have concluded that it is just as well that Mr. Bolle refuses to show anyone below the shoulders. We do not want to know that Miss Thompson’s hideous kelly-green polo shirt is tucked into a pair of belted madras-plaid bermuda shorts.” –Fashion Police

“I hope this A3G plot twist uses the same artistic strategy it did with the piano storyline in November. ‘Why, there’s a piano in the Mills Gallery! …And Lady Gaga is playing it! What strange clothes she is wearing!’ Then we cut to her chiseled, blond, suit-wearing male manager for the next eight weeks.” –Shmebbber

“I never got until today that ‘Ann Eiffel’ was supposed to be a pun. Also that she’s a horrible person, as shown by her telling an employee to actually do his job instead of standing there talking to his girlfriend.” –UnclGhost

“On a completely different note, I’ve had this fancy for awhile where I like imagining Mark Trail as played by Tom Hanks. There’s something hilarious to me about the concept of Tom Hanks yelling all his thoughts aloud. Picture it as you read the above strip. ‘THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE, A GOLD BIRD BAND … GENESIS 1:20, A PASSAGE FROM THE BIBLE.’ Note also what he’s saying here makes minimal sense.” –Carly

“I like that the Mark Trail characters who are not on the set can just walk over and grab some lunch at Santa Royale diner during their down time. This guy could have stayed longer to chat up Waitress Sad-Is-Sexy, but he’s got twenty minutes to report for work as an unscrupulous land developer who emotionally abuses his stacked wife.” –Edgy DC

“Is Lu Ann really allowed to invoke a change in the topic of conversation, particularly when Margo has the floor (who even knew Lu Ann was in the … um … whatever vague room they’re in with a lamp and a picture frame and some gauzy curtains and a refrigerator)? Can somebody check the A3G bylaws?” –Ned Ryerson

“I like to think that the pervert in Mary Worth overheard their conversation about the waitress’ dead mother and is now wearing mom jeans in an attempt to burrow his way into her subconscious (and her pants).” –Roto13

“Ok, just to be clear, this is a strip about grown women living together in New York, right? So why does the dialogue sound like it belongs in a strip about three maladjusted girls in an orphanage for dowdy teens?” –pugfuggly

“I guess the swarthy pseudo-Hi is supposed to feel like a real dope for hitting on a married woman, but how the hell was he supposed to know? Lois doesn’t even have a ring finger.” –Doctor Handsome

Plus this comment Effluvius Erratus is too long to feature here but, hilariously combining as it does several layers of source material, is definitely worth your attention!

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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“I love today’s Spider-Man because it shows that Newspaper MJ and Newspaper Peter are perfect for each other. She just comes home, plops down on the couch, and just passes out mid-soliloquy. I hope there’s a gas leak or something.” –Roto13

MUST GATHER STRENGTH TO ACKNOWLEDGE HILARITY OF RUNNERS UP

“Being the happiest man in Santa Royale isn’t the loftiest of ambitions. Having Wilbur Weston as your main competition isn’t setting the bar very high.” –Pozzo

“My favorite part of today’s FW is the look on Cayla’s face. I’ve never seen a less willing participant in a conversation — she looks like she’s being held to that porch swing by some sort of smugness-based sorcery.” –Navigator

“The ‘F’ the prof gave Les was followed immediately by a ‘You’ and probably occurred about 35 seconds into their first encounter.” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz

“‘I’d let you borrow the used car I own’? Is that the same as ‘my car?’ What kind of language communication are they speaking with their mouths?” –Mustang

“Also, forgive me if I’m out of the loop on this one, but isn’t the point of dressing for a Comic con to go dressed as some comic book character? Unless we’re willing to posit that Knute and Crystal are both aware that they’re really comic characters. But if that were true, surely the realization that they were characters in Luann would have long since driven them to a mutual suicide pact?” –Swordsmith

“There’s only one way to top a wacky diuretic joke like this. So now, in addition to the extreme heat, Americans need to be wary of Plugger enema jokes by the end of the week.” –gkl

“There’s something to be said for being the best at what you do, even if what you do is, like, completely terrible. Only Funky Winkerbean could render the protagonist’s decision not to behave like a vindictive, immature shitbag somehow depressing.” –Violet

“I love the way Spider uses the phrase ‘verbally assaulted.’ I think Spider’s a narc, man.” –bbofun

“It’s a metaphor, kid. Freedom is illusory.” –Dood

Mary Worth: “No, Jeff! Don’t start listing the reasons! And for God’s sake, don’t pull out the Powerpoint!” –Frank Lee Meidere

“Why not a paper tacked up on the wall with just the word ‘SPORTS!’ That would convey this is a manly little fellow interested in Sports!, and it would cover a wide range of activities, from ice dancing to MMA cage fights. SPORTS!” –anonymous

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Wait, did I talk about how hot it was last week? Well, it’s still hot, isn’t it? Anyhoo, here’s your comment of the week.

“Wait, Ziggy is a mammal? I hereby renounce my membership.” –BigTed

And the runners up! Very amusing!

“I was going to comment on the fact that self-serve gas stations are considered a modern development in Hi’s town. Then I got distracted by his grocery store purchases, which include two carrots, a quart of something beige, and an ostrich egg.” –Esther Blodgett

“How much to just listen? My wife will know me by the silence and heavy breathing!” –js

“I only wish this Archie was the start of an Inglorious Basterds homage which culminates in alternate history machine gun assassination of Jughead, history’s greatest monster.” –Dennis the Two and a Half Menace

“I find the Clean-Cut-Kids Gang’s plans for their loot to be kind of sweetly modest: ‘We’ll throw a big party! Heck, just by fencing the television sets, we can get the best plastic cups that money can buy! And no more buttercream frosting for us. It’s ganache all the way!'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I’m pretty sure Ziggy’s fish is just giggling childishly at the word ‘Dick.’ And he’s right, that’s by far the funniest thing that’s ever been in the strip.” –Doctor Handsome

“How does one sexually harass a Luann character? By telling them there’s more to sex than double entendres?” –Dan

“Tiffany and Toni, like Liz in FOOB, have naturally plump, pale, ‘Luscious Lips o’ Loveliness®’ because LOOK AT ME I AM ATTRACTIVE. Ann’s lips are dark because she wears lipstick. Like a WHORE.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Does Dr. Jeff realize he now has to go ahead and *hold* the fundraising dinner? ‘People have expressed interest … our work here is done!'” –ks

“Les is smirking because of the man’s effrontery: ‘Does he compare his love for his wife with the profundity of my passion for Lisa? What fools these mortals be! Does he know that when they make love, his wife closes her eyes and fantasizes that Chemosabe is me? Because every woman craves me and my sincerity!’ And fifty other sentences that express the fullness of Les’s self-absorption.” –Droopy Says

“I like to think that the jagged dividing line is actually trying to attack Lu Ann in today’s Apartment 3-G for her unbelievably boring dialogue.” –Alan’s Addiction

“So, while Alan is basking in a hero’s adulation for — what? falling on a giant bed and not dying? — our Baby-Killer Contract Babe is being strapped to a gurney and whisked off to Bellevue where she’ll be connected to a continuous IV drip of Klonopin and Haldol, spending the rest of her days counting the cracks in the ceiling and mumbling incomprehensibly to herself. And does Alan — who 10 minutes prior was telling said BBCB his life story to show her how much he cares about her — ask about her or show any curiosity over what might have taken place on the roof after his pratfall? No: he’s too busy defacing Fire Department property.” –Mudhead

“I finally caught up on the last week of Mary Worth. Why didn’t anyone tell me I missed absolutely nothing?” –Gene S.

Mark Trail: “I could watch this scene unfold for another couple days, easy. Wouldn’t it be great if Rusty became entrapped under the getaway van?” –ArchieNemesis

“I think we’re being too hard on Ann Eiffel. The poor woman is just looking for a little love and the fact that she is looking for it to happen with Brad DeGroot proves that she has either hit rock-bottom or is insane or something. She needs our sympathy, not our scorn.” –Terrapin

“You’re too late, Dr. Jeff … look at Mary’s skirt in panel one. Her heart belongs to Zorro!” –Mumblix Grumph

“‘Get in!’ ‘Uhm, no thanks, Mr. Toad. I’ve heard about your wild rides.'” –Dood

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Works In Progress: A webcomic full of grayscale and shenanigans. Good for your kidneys! (Note: Claims unverified. Read at your own risk.) Updates Tuesdays and Saturdays.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.