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Pluggers, 3/20/12

HELLO EVERYONE! Did you enjoy a week with your favorite Uncle — a week that, as Pluggers would like to remind you, brought you just a little bit closer to your inevitable death in poverty? I’ll bet you did! I’ll be back with new comics tomorrow, but did want to offer up your slightly delayed comment of the week!

“I hear that more and more insurance companies are carrying the ‘walk in the park’ option in lieu of offering maternity leave. It’s part of their ‘walk it off, wuss’ complete coverage plan.” — pugfuggly

And your runners up! Very funny!

Apartment 3-G: “Little girls use toys. Margo uses TOOLS.” — UncleJeff

Crankshaft: “Pretty elaborate plot to get Cranky to pick up the bar tab for once.” — TheDiva

Popeye: “The Doomsday Doll is blond, endowed, and interested in physical contact – obviously Sea Hag didn’t research Popeye’s taste in women at all.” — NoahSnark

9 Chickweed Lane: “Let me see if I understand this. Edda becomes a super model who’s become virtually synonymous with your clothing line. Thus the thing to do is fire Edda and have your company known as the assholes that fired the nice hot chick. Are these the same guys that came up with ‘New Coke?'” — Zerowolf

Funky Winkerbean: “‘Les: “Does anyone know what the opening sentence of Moby Dick is? Cory?’
Cory: ‘To the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.’
Les: ‘That’s very good, but that’s not the opening sentence. It’s near the end of the book.’
Cory: ‘What is???'” — seismic-2

9 Chickweed Lane today is a metaphor for Amos’s unlucky sperm cell, screaming piteously as it falls into Edda’s hellish inferno of an egg.” — Tom T.

9 Chickweed Lane: “Remember, it’s only premarital sex if you get married afterwards!” — greghousesgf

Slylock Fox: “Yes, evidence indicates someone was here moments ago. But the informant claimed the escaped prisoner was hiding in a vacant cabin. Therefore, whoever is hiding in this occupied cabin must not be the escaped prisoner. Case closed! Now, who wants toast?” — Mysterion

Curtis: “I don’t always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Cuss Skunk.” — Frank Lee Meidere

“Why can Ballard Street do full rear nudity, but not Judge Parker? God dammit.” — commodorejohn

“I notice that Dinette Set comes with a warning at the bottom that it ‘may cause drosiness’. Is drosiness that feeling you get when you want to punch whoever writes these things?” — The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

The Dinette Set does not appear in my local newspaper. I’m starting a petition drive to keep it that way.” — Zerowolf

Family Circus: “Why would the clock tick, mommy? Is that like having fleas? Why can’t we enter the twenty-first century like normal people?” — Droopy Says

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.