Archive: metaposts

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Sorry this is going up so late, guys — I spent the day seeing tons of movies at the always awesome Maryland Film Festival (and if you’re within driving distance of Baltimore, I expect you to be there this weekend). But anyway: your comment of the week!

“I just want to say to anyone who thinks today’s Mark Trail is like gay porn: you have bad taste in gay porn.” –nescio

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Ziggy’s never ridden anyone in his life and likely never will, so this is his big chance! With the cost priced at Ziggy’s income level and his pants already off, Ziggy is ready for action.” –S. Stout

“I like to think that Mr. Wilson’s evil, hate-filled gaze caused Dennis’s glass to implode. I think that giving Mr. Wilson freaky mind-powers would make this strip the indisputable greatest thing, ever. If you disagree with that statement, merely imagine it as, ‘Grumpy Old Men: Scanners.’ Still don’t like the idea? That’s all right; telekinetic Mr. Wilson knows where you live and can literally change your mind.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Berna and Rex lean over the parapet to see Dex yelling from a trap door. Soon, they will scramble down the leaning slab to rescue him. It’s true what they say: Brutalism’s spatial vocabulary is overconstrained.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Greatest trios in history: 5. Bird, McHale, Parrish. 4. Moe, Larry, Curly. 3. Cobain, Grohl, Novaselic. 2. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. 1. Today’s Mark Trail: Tron, Thundarr the Barbarian, and Jeff Hostetler.” –Gene S.

“I thought I was grossed out by Les’s kissing Lisa because Lisa is dead. But no, now that I see Les kissing a living woman, that’s gross too. From the way he extends his lips, I imagine they squish like liver and are slightly watery around the edges.” –Katy

“I know it’s way too much to hope that Savarna has found true love with a nice human male who carries on normal conversations and never wears purple tights and stripey shorts. But she does seem genuinely gleeful, so I’m hoping she recently discovered vibrators.” –Poteet

Humans are less to us than beasts are to them! For example, it wouldn’t even occur to any human to force beasts to watch this idiotic storyline play out! Their compassion is their weakness!” –Doctor Handsome

“When exactly did Martine change from last week’s brown-housecoat-over-a-pink-dress ensemble to her current ‘Jazzercize bride of darkness’ look, anyway?” –TheDiva

“So Quill did not go to the pageant, apparently. He had the opportunity to attend an abysmally conceived and almost unfathomably haphazardly executed parade of shame at a jam-packed frankfurter emporium and he just let it pass? What the hell did he even come to this country for, anyway?” –Violet

“Tips from Mark Trail: If you’re out in the woods and without a sleeping bag, find a giant summer squash, cut it open and use it as your sleeping bag. It’s squishy, but warm.” –Dood

“Oy, mopey Les sex. What am I bet that he gives her the cancer with his sad, sad wiener?” –Hamsterpants

THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF DIFFERENT NOISES AROUND HERE, ANDY! YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL HERE IN THE PART OF THE FOREST WHERE IT IS BOTH NIGHT AND DAY SIMULTANEOUSLY. IF YOU DISTURB THE WILD YOU MIGHT ATTRACT UNWANTED ATTENTION FROM BEARS, THAT COUGAR WE SAW MOMENTS AGO, OR THE POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS MAN WE’RE STALKING!! BUT ITS NOTHING FOR EXPERIENCED WOODSMEN LIKE US TO BE WORRIED ABOUT! I’LL JUST FALL ASLEEP AN INCH FROM THIS UNATTENDED FIRE AND I’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNIzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZzZZZ…” –Black Drazon

Oh, I read you! You want to see my shrine to my dead wife in the attic!” –AndyL

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Quickly! Sorry so quick! Your top comment

“I salute Apartment 3-G for spicing things up by bringing Rasputin back as a guest-character. I’m not sure if I’m more frightened by original, ultra-hair Rasputin, or the new, albino Rasputin, but I’m sure that wacky hijinks will ensue. If nothing else, he’ll give Margo a chance to live out her dream of being able to shoot, poison, stab, and drown the same man on different occasions.” –Alan’s Addiction

And your runners up!

“Maybe Tommie is the world’s first Peter Tork impersonator.” –Karmyn

“I’m hoping the raccoon will put up a fight before being taken away, because it might distract everyone else while the snake eats Max Mouse.” –nescio

It’s my son John … he appears to be a some kind of thing that came out of my wife. Who I have come to understand is a woman that I live with. I just don’t understand this situation at all, Mark. Can you help?” –Roktober

“‘No, but I remember reading about his distinguished military record.’ Where? Why? Why would he be reading about this guy’s distinguished military record? Does he have a subscription to Random-ass Distinguished Military Records Weekly? ‘Hey!’ he thought. ‘That guy’s from around here! I wonder if I ever punched out anyone we both know?'” –Geek Redux

“You’ve got to wonder when someone in the Wambesi tribe will start complaining about the Ghost Who Only Drops In Whenever He Wants Us To Keep An Eye On One of His Enemies, And Does He Offer to Pay For Feeding These Goons? No He Does Not.” –J.D. Rhoades

“Pluggers apparently have also failed to learn about advanced technology like ‘baskets.'” –Faoladh

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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As the seasons change, the comments of the week continue. Here’s this week’s top spot!

“She nursed me, a complete stranger, back to health with no thought to the horrors that might come to her and her child from the same evil thugs who murdered her husband. And all you can think to ask is if she was PRETTY??? Actually, she looked exactly like you if you wore a halter top and a wig. So, no, I wouldn’t describe her as ‘pretty.’ I hope she gets back with her relatives or something. Girls are icky.” –Mustang

And the runners up — very funny!

“Looks to me like Cherry and Rusty have gotten over Mark’s disappearance and presumed death — for example, they’ve already scribbled over all the portraits of him in their house, which is stage 15 on the Kubler-Ross scale, I think.” –Oavis

“To be fair, is there any emotion Rusty expresses without ‘face twisting’?” –SecretMargo

“It’s a good thing that Mark Trail took the time to shave before he called his family to tell them he’s OK. First things first.” –Mark B

“Funnily enough, this is just how Rusty always answers the phone, what with the shouting and demanding questions and creepy mind rays oozing out of his eyes, down the phone lines, and into the caller’s skull to dig out their thoughts and memories, one by one, like ice cream being gouged with a scoop.” –Jim North

On the proposal that this gown in Luann might be a salwar kameez: “I mean, seriously, a salwar kameez is like *the* *best* *thing* *to* *wear* *ever.* It would take a kind of obsessed person with unhealthy goals and limitless free time to screw one up. Which, Gunther.” –Katy

Hopefully she got back with her relatives! She did save my life, so the very least I can do is ponder vaguely about her fate with idle good intentions.” –Lorne

“I’m playing count the mouths on Cherry in the first panel and keep losing.” –Tophat

“It’s supposed to be update on the line, ‘that and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee,’ which was coined when coffee could be obtained for 5 cents a cup. All of which means, ‘talk is worthless.’ Since he has willfully moved back to the economically and emotionally depressed center of Batiukland, the phrase would have been rendered better as ‘that and a buck will get you a slice of crappy pizza that tastes like weeping.'” –gleeb

“Morbius is ‘urban’ in the sense that he wears terrible spandex from the 1970s.” –Naked Bunny With A Whip

“It looks like Larry Lieber attended the ‘Joe Giella Master Class on Human Gestures and How To Render Them.’ Joe’s secret? Hands! Humans, like, do things with their hands when they talk to each other! ‘What do I pay you for? Hands!’ ‘Actually you don’t! Hands!’ ‘Get me a shot of that urban Dracula tonight! HANDS!'” –Krazy Kat

  • Parents Behaving Badly: The dads who coach like Patton! The moms who drink like fish! And the kids caught in the middle. If your child has participated in youth sports, you’ll relate to Parents Behaving Badly. Scott Gummer’s new novel gives the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve. For video and more, click here!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here

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