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COTW in a moment, but, first, you may have missed the unleashing of my social media strategery earlier this week? Get the details here or click on the name in the blue nav bar along the top edge of the site that corresponds most closely with the dumb Internet thingie that you waste the most time with.

Also, do not forget about the existence of [Citation Needed], the book! This is the greatest collection of bad Wikipedia writing ever curated and value-enhanced by goofy jokes, to the best of my knowledge, so probably you want to buy it. But if you are too proud to do so, you can get it for free, by entering a Shameless Social Media Pimping Contest! Just write up a hilarious fake Wikipedia article for Margo Magee, and post it on my Facebook fan wall or Tweet it at me or do the equivalent for the other two things (sorry Tumblr, I don’t really know how that would work there, but maybe some Tumblrer smarter than me can figure it out?). I will pick my favorite on Monday and they will get a free copy of the book!

Also, do not forget, the Santa vs. Dracula Kickstarter project is still underway! Ed and Melissa, the team behind My Cage, need more pre-orders to make this happen, so go forth and pre-order!

Ahem. And now, your comment of the week!

Mark Trail: “This stuff just writes itself. Seriously, humans were not involved.” –Red Greenback

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I’m impressed that Elrod knows that his modern-day audience will have no idea what bellows do, so Kelly has to tell us; that’s one of the perils of recycling aged plots. But why stop here? Why not have Kelly explain all the outdated elements? ‘My terrifyingly mascaraed eyes mark me as a seductress who will stop at almost nothing to snag a man!’ ‘Because I’m a girl reporter, I must be both intrepid and inept!’ ‘Now, only you snarky, ironic hipsters will appreciate this next part!'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“No! Not Mother McQueen’s goose gold band melting fire heating bellows!” –lorne

“Mary is well prepared for contingencies. Most people have to resort to a hand gesture, whereas Mary brought out an actual piece of paper to beat Toby’s rock.” –Steve

“Christopher Lloyd kept one in a tank in the 2010 remake of Piranha, so if you’re saying that movie wasn’t accurate in every conceivable way, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step outside.” –OMEGA SUPREME

“If this continues, we’ll have Kelly reciting ‘Mark is blinking! This must be for keeping his eyes moisturized!'” –Minarets

“Poor Derek is standing there like, ‘So … You’re Ann Eiffel, and Honey is Toni, right? Does that make me Brad? I don’t want to be Brad.'” –Chyron HR

“I’m sorry Trixie, you have your mom’s smile. Literally. It’s copy/pasted, can’t you tell?” –Yusaku777

“Cayla is actually not too worked up about her daughter losing out on her senior year playing time, as she already has a scholarship offer to Miami (OH). Her expression is due to the fact that she just remembered she is actually engaged to the smug douchebag paying for the pizza.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“It seems a little rough for Summer to be giving Principal Hallman a hard time about his veteran status. Dude has no arms; does it really matter how he lost them?” –matt w

“I hope Kelly decides to put a leash on the bear and get it to lead her to the mine, like Andy led her to the bird bander! She’s not going to remember how that failed, since, after all, she’s here now. It must’ve worked!” –The Ridger

“Since Summer’s entire sports career has met an abrupt end, I’d say she’s contemplating that pizza and considering all the eventual unused calories. ‘So this is where my transformation from promising teen athlete to one of the shambling, bloated zombie-adults of this town begins? Not with a bang, but with an alpine-sauce coated whimper?'” –Snuggs

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Hey everybody! I suddenly woke up and realized that it was 2011 and I need to have my SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY in order! Apparently this whole “social networking” business is not just a passing fad, and probably many of you ENJOY reading funny things from your favorite funny people on these sites, so who am I to deny you my wit, in social media form?

What will you get if you follow me on your favorite social networking site?

• Jokes that I think up!
• Links to things I think are funny!
• Occasional links to things I think are not funny, but important, including some political stuff, so be on guard if political opinions other than your own cause you rage!
• A daily link to the Comics Curmudgeon when I update it!
• Links to other things I write, when I write them!

If that sounds like a lot, it really isn’t. No more than, say, five things a day, usually, and often only one or two. And I’m basically going to be posting the same stuff to all my social media accounts (baring space restraints), so you really only ought to follow me on one of the following, whichever happens to be your favorite:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Tumblr
• Google+

And one final note: That Facebook link is to my newly created Facebook fan page. While I’ve never publicized my actual personal Facebook page, a lot of readers have found it in the past and friended me; but I’m going to be pruning my personal Facebook page back to people I actually know (and I count working with someone online as “knowing”) soon, so if you only know me through my writing, please like my fan page.

Thanks! And now I promise to not blather on about social media anymore, because really it’s kind of dumb. We now return you to discussion of more important things, like Mary Worth’s carefully maintained list of important phone numbers for her financial institutions.

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Your COTW, without further ado!

“Is Ruby trying to kill Lu Ann with her mind? Does she not realize that it only works on folks with working brains?” –Spotts1701

And the runners up! Also very funny!

“That Mary Worth panel is fantastic out of context. ‘You’d better call the police! Because I’m high as a goddamn kite and I think I need to crush your eyeball with my thumb now.'” –Roto13

“If Reeky were packing heat, this would change the balance of power in the Slylockverse completely. What can Slylock do against an armed rat? Reprimand him to death? As it is, the only one with a weapon in that panel is Max, which should make him the more likely suspect. ‘Hand over the purse, lady, or I’ll butter knife you.’ I’m not saying it’s a winning scheme.” –stinkfoot

“Correction: Reeky Rat is the ALLEGED perpetrator of an ALMOST-robbery. He is likely the same guy who tipped Slylock off in the first place, and is now just having some fun prank calling and watching Sly. ‘There will be an attempted robbery at 5:00 at The Restaurant.’ ‘No, wait, there’s a robbery at The Other Restaurant.’ ‘Hey, Sly! At the park, there’s an anthropomorphic animal who stole an ice cream cone and is blaming a different anthropomorphic being! Come at once!’ ‘Back at The Restaurant, we have a report of a bowler-wearing yellow mouse holding his eating utensils in a most ungentlemanly manner!’ Meanwhile, Count Weirdly and Cassandra Cat are drilling into the safe at Megopolis Bank.” –hogenmogen

“Doesn’t it bother you that she’s trying to buy this boy? I mean, there’s no need to flash money about to get a handsome, well-toned young man to notice you. All you have to do is strike a nonchalant pose while munching a vaguely phallic food item in a seductive manner. They’ll come flocking to you, in their tight little Abercrombie T-shirts and snug-fitting jeans! How do I know? Uh … well … just a guess, really.” –Perky Bird

“Worst wedding dress montage scene ever! I even tried reading it while playing the Sex and The City theme music, still no good.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Yup, Derek knows a good thing when he sees it. And by ‘thing’, I mean my daughter. Also, when I say ‘it’, I still mean my daughter. My daughter is an object, is what I’m getting at here.” –bunivasal

“‘Sophie and Derek make a cute BOOBS don’t they?’ ‘Sophie says he’s BOOBS too!’ ‘You BOOBS he is!’ I have no freaking idea what the current plot in Judge Parker is.” –Bud

“You know, when you make a remark so disagreeably smug that it offends the sensibilities of Abbey Spencer, you’ve really accomplished something.” –jvwalt

“I don’t want to knock Canada, because I love the country, but I can’t even get any of my friends here in New England to go to Montréal; there is no way any of them are going to Northern Ontario to gawk at some valley where Lyndon Johnson is living in drag.” –twg

“I like how pointless it is to have anything bad ever happen to Mary Worth. She is always prepared, always knows just what to do, never needs some meddling biddy to spout platitudes at her in reassurance … all she needs is a slow-witted blond sidekick so she can tell us how wise and prepared she is without resorting to speaking out loud to herself.” –Reepicheep-chan

“Yep, Lu Ann, gotta be as tasteful as possible for Bishop Uncle-Dad.” –Lily Sincere

“As everyone in town knows Mary never gives anything but advice and the occasional ‘I told you so’ card, how did the thieves pull it off? Obviously Mary has pissed off a store clerk somewhere. I’m guessing it’s someone she drunk-dialed on 9/11.” –Spiff Bereft

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.