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Guys, it’s come to my attention that some of you are unconvinced that a professional soccer player would have so many groupies that he’d need his manager to screen them. Faithful reader Gal Friday points out that there’s an entire Website dedicated to hot soccer-playin’ dudes, the name of which is suspiciously similar to Kicking It. Also, if Bobby rejects Gina, maybe he she could purchase the affections of a member of Chivas USA.

Also, several faithful readers drew my attention to this story about the most depressing comic strips. Funky Winkerbean isn’t even on the list!

Anyway, now it’s time for your comment of the week:

“The funny poo says: ‘Thank you … I’ll be here all week. No, really. Ziggy’s toilet is broken.'” –Mark B

And your runners up! Very funny!

“‘Do you like it, Lu Ann?’ ‘Do I like what?’ These words will be repeated on their honeymoon.” –Pozzo

“Meanwhile, in Apartment 3G, we learn the only thing whiter and blander than Paul and Lu Ann are the houses they live in.” –bbofun

“I find it hard to believe that Tommie and Lu Ann count for just as many ‘G’ as Mighty Margo does. I’d say Margo is about 2.5 G all by herself, leaving Tommie with (say) 0.3 G and Lu Ann with 0.2 G, so if Lu Ann moves out they will only have to move slightly to one side into Apartment 2.8-G.” –Shrug

“I’m not buying Rex’s incredulous unfamiliarity with the notion of cutting, partly because he’s a trained medical professional but mainly because I refuse to believe he watches any fewer Lifetime movies than I do.” –Violet

“Apparently in high school football it’s totally legal to karate chop an opposing team player’s knee tendons with your … wait, is that his left or his right hand? Wtf?” –sporknpork

“What if Marty Moon is a disgruntled call center helpline operator? ‘Paris keeps around left end … he’s in!’ ‘Uhm, can you tell me why my computer doesn’t boot up?'” –Dood

“Ha ha! God pisses on your Lisa Worship. ‘What part of “You shall have no other gods besides me” do you not understand?'” –Little Guy

“Seriously, pluggers are held together with carpenter’s glue, prescription meds, spit, and misplaced down-homey smugness.” –Nervous Newbie

“I’m wondering why Carla looks so sad in the last panel. Ha Ha, just kidding! How else would she be allowed to look? Sad and smug are the only authorized emotions in this strip, and Les has claimed the smug quota for the next 175 years.” –A New Day

“The real joke here is the suggestion that Marvin will ever, ever be potty-trained. The moment he started eliminating waste discreetly and uneventfully, the strip would go from reprehensibly lazy to completely unsustainable.” –Mollie

“FLDS compound! Wait till she meets his other wives. Oh yeah, the reunion. She probably has.” –Snowshoecat

“KickingIt Magazine sounds uncomfortably like a deathstyle guide for would-be suicides.” — T Campbell

“The ‘hotel chocolates’ that Mr. Fulton gave Ditto were actually miniature bars of soap. It was worth a shot.” –Lorne

“I believe Ditto is just out casing a few houses, using a pretext only his senile neighbors would believe. ‘Gee, Mr. Wavering, you say it isn’t halloween? That’s weird … Hey, that’s a nice coin set. Are those real silver dollars?'” –pugfuggly

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Slylock Fox comes to your iPhone: Cartoonist Bob Weber Jr., creator of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids now offers his spot-the-difference game to you on the iPhone and iPad. Bob has selected 50 spot-the-difference panels for this initial app release. There is also a free “lite” version.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Hopefully you are safe inside from the rain, or maybe in one of the many, many places on this earth where it is not raining as hard as it is here! Anyway, rain or shine, this COTW should amuse you:

“More so than ever, staying healthy is most important. That’s why we start each season out by burning all the mildewed, old furniture in town in a giant heap, then huddle around the fumes. Mmm, smell that? Smells like lungs getting tougher.” –Chareth Cutestory

And the runners up! They’re raining buckets of laughter!

“Alternatively, the panel could be improved by adding the words ‘Also, Pluggers don’t realize curtains can be closed.'” –Poor Thompson

“I think it’s time for us to leave, Martha. The army’s secret experimental Wasp Soldier initiative has been activated.” –Aaron

Re: Pluggers: “The only thing worse than a lazy joke that doesn’t make any sense is a SMUG lazy joke that doesn’t make any sense.” –Mollie

“Weirdly probably could’ve hypnotized any two random guys off the street into being ‘square-dancing do-si-do dudes,’ but by seeking out rodeo cowboys, he saves money on costuming. Surprisingly budget-conscious for an insane fucking lunatic with nonsensical motivations.” –Doctor Handsome

“Goodness! What did they offer him to cause such a response? A lifetime of chicken wings?” –Maggie the Cat

“Nothing says tough negotiator like smothering your adversary with a chloroform soaked rag.” –Michael Yuri

Mark Trail: “OK, ‘THIS IS NOT GOOD!’ why exactly? Andy is going to run back to Mark and tell him — what? ‘Arf arf old lady arf arf I didn’t see any geese arf arf or gold bands.'” –wossname

“I think that she literally shanked it, in the sense of actually hitting the paper with a golf club, in an attempt by Batuik to get in on the Gil-Thorp-inspired golfing-themed-story-arc craze that is sweeping the … Is that a pineapple on the computer? What the hell?” –Nekrotzar

“Oh, that carefree couple, Sam ‘n Abbey … joyfully stomping on the hopes and dreams of America’s working class. ‘I’ll pay you $50 for that RV. Plus, I get to take a dump in your mouth! Do we have a deal?'” –jvwalt

“Hush, woman. And it’s Sovereign Citizen Wilson.” –Johnnycakes

“I was so distracted by that poorly rendered Guernica hanging on the wall that I didn’t even notice that Spider-man has the massive arm of a demon jutting out of his chest.” –sporknpork

“The endgame here is the bank will buy the Road Queen to provide a mobile branch for shut-ins or somesuch and the Driver-Spencers will be laughing all the way to the suitcase-of-cash repository.” –Dood

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Slylock Fox comes to your iPhone: Cartoonist Bob Weber Jr., creator of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids now offers his spot-the-difference game to you on the iPhone and iPad. Bob has selected 50 spot-the-difference panels for this initial app release. There is also a free “lite” version.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Ugh, you guys, sorry your COTW this week is so late and truncated, but nevertheless I think you’ll find this funny:

“I’m looking forward to the wedding night when Luann’s new in-laws will crowd around the marital bed to instruct her on how to fake an orgasm. ‘Say yes! Yes! Yes!’” –Handsome Paddy

And your runners-up! Very funny!

“From the eerie way the straw is standing straight up in the glass in panel 5, you can tell that Mary’s touch has turned her drink into a solid block of ice.” –Neutrino Snort

“Those two are going to make beautiful Aryan babies. I assume any non-Aryan babies will be left on a hill.” –Cousin Walter

“Pluggers is an obituary on the comics page, amirite?” –sporknpork

“Clearly Gina uses a Toughbook — so tough that it’s made out of industrial concrete.” –Bobchillingworth

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Slylock Fox comes to your iPhone: Cartoonist Bob Weber Jr., creator of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids now offers his spot-the-difference game to you on the iPhone and iPad. Bob has selected 50 spot-the-difference panels for this initial app release. There is also a free “lite” version.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.