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Your comment of the week shortly, but, first a very important note from a faithful reader who (for obvious reasons) wishes to go nameless! I haven’t been covering Luann for a while, so you’ll have to trust me when I say that the long-simmering fight between Toni and Anne Eiffel for Brad’s squishy, passive love is proceeding apace! But what if it weren’t long-simmering? What if it were hot and fast and happening all at once? Wouldn’t you like Luann artist Greg Evans to draw that for you? Well, he has, on his blog. YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYBODY.

Aaaand now that you’re done contemplating that, why not contemplate the comment of the week?

“I don’t mean to get all legalistic, but Miranda warnings do not go with ‘today’s litigious society.’ What you really need is some joke combining ‘McDonald’s coffee’ and ‘poop.'” –Lawyerbob

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Seriously? A motor home? You can just do it right there in the barn, ya know. The horse ain’t gonna tell.” –Apeman

“That’s actually the North Beech diet, referring to a particular tree on Smith property. Its bark was Loweezy’s sole sustenance for three weeks. She lost 25 pounds and her upper lip, but then she switched to a sweetgum and packed it all back on.” –Walker of Dog

“Slylock picked the panda because the panda is totally okay with going six months without getting laid.” –commodorejohn

“Max Mouse is being viciously sexually harassed by that crab. Only the fish and seagull are horrified to see Max so mishandled; the dockworkers are indifferent, Slylock and his colleague are willfully unaware, the wolf and walrus are titillated, and the panda is too baked on eucalyptus to make his eyes converge on any one fixed point.” –A.E.F.

“Gramma Rose definitely has the high trousers fast talking routine down. What do you think about kids? What type of underwear are you wearing? Do you bathe in the nude? Who are you? Suppose to say I’m supposing. What do you mean by that! Well that’s just a fine set of crackers.” –Government Cheese

“Gasoline Alley: Where ugly people say pointless things. Forever.” –Lorne

“I really enjoy how far away Lois is from this man. ‘DITTO NEEDS SOME NEW SCHOOL CLOTHES! … NO, I SAID ‘DITTO’! MY SON! YES, HIS NAME IS DITTO! WHAT? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OVER HERE! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! I’M MARRIED!!!'” –Austria

“I’m not sure if the hallway to Petey and MJ’s apartment is higher than their floor (and with no step down, to boot), or if the newspaper is levitating. No wonder MJ has to strike such an awkward pose just to approach the paper. Could this be the work of Forced Perspective Man? ‘Ha ha! I will use my incredible powers of bending time and space to provide minor inconveniences to Spider-Man so that he will whine himself to death! My plan is perfect!'” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

Oh and also there is this long and amazing comment from longtime reader/commenting hero Master Softheart, which is not the first comment of his that made me say, “Gee, I wish I had written that.”

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Oh, hi, is your comment of the week SHOCKINGLY EARLY? Well, I guess that depends on how easily you’re shocked, but here it is.

“Let me get this straight: Dagwood is supposed to be OCDing about Vanna White’s farewell messages, and he’s figured out the ratio of ‘bye-byes’ to ‘goodbyes,’ but the only detail he knows about the ‘so longs’ are that they happen ‘occasionally?’ Is the ratio 23 bye-byes to a so long? 47? 112? NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAGWOOD. MY GRADUATE THESIS IS VERY DISAPPOINTED.” –T Campbell

And here are your hilarious runners up!

“You’re being threatened by the mob? There has never been a better time to raise the roof, amirite Gina?” –Stevesie

“So, this part of Mark Trail is a dream sequence, right? I mean, when I find myself in a cabin being served tea by Pocahontas, talking with Super Mario about how where to find Steve McQueen, I just assume I’m dreaming.” –pugfuggly

“While it may seem like he’s referring to the gay community, that’s clearly not the case. No self-respecting gay lumberjack would ever hang a yellow-and-lime-green rug diagonally on their wall.” –Master Mahan

“I bet a lot of women start looking up A.A. meetings and therapists as soon as Gil leaves their apartment.” –Doctor Handsome

“This is my friend, Ed Crankshaft. And by ‘friend,’ I mean bitter, lonely old man who follows me around making abysmal puns until I can find someone to fob him off on. Well, he’s your problem now!” –Pozzo

“That intervention went by so quickly, it makes Gil the One-Hour Photo Hut of alcoholism treatment. ‘Got the DTs? Call GT!'” –The Gringo Kid

“I lost my wife during the second deployment … tank accident … uh, no, car accident, cars, that’s it. Car. Yeah. A Toyota. [Pause.] I’m very popular in the community.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“Hey Margo, exactly what is it about a guy from Hoboken that makes him inappropriate? Was it that he went out for a real meal rather than eat that box of baking soda you have boiling on the stove?” –Thomas B.

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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I normally don’t promote other people’s stuff here, but … this is a very cool project. Dave Kellett, a Webcomics artist who draws Sheldon and Drive, is helping make Stripped, a documentary about the history and future of comics, consisting of a series of interviews with a pretty incredible collection of contemporary newspaper and web comics artists. Here’s the trailer video! (IS THE FIRST INTERVIEWEE JEFFY KEANE? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!)

The trick is, in order for the movie to be made, it needs cash, as movies are insatiable money pits. They’re trying to raise funding for the movie on Kickstarter. If you’re not familiar with Kickstarter, it’s a way to crowdsource funding: lots of folks give small amounts, and hopefully it adds up to enough to make the movie. The filmmakers have set a lofty goal, and your credit card is only charged if they collect enough pledges to actually meet that goal (this is the magic of Kickstarter). And, unlike some bloggers who offer no reward other than self-satisfaction from a contribution, the producers of Stripped have lots of goodies for you if you help them make the movie. You could just treat this as an opportunity to pre-order the DVD, or, if you have five figures to drop on a whim, you could convince the filmmakers to fly to your hometown and give you a private showing. (There’s some stuff in between those two possibilities, too.) Check it out!