Post Content

Wait, did I talk about how hot it was last week? Well, it’s still hot, isn’t it? Anyhoo, here’s your comment of the week.

“Wait, Ziggy is a mammal? I hereby renounce my membership.” –BigTed

And the runners up! Very amusing!

“I was going to comment on the fact that self-serve gas stations are considered a modern development in Hi’s town. Then I got distracted by his grocery store purchases, which include two carrots, a quart of something beige, and an ostrich egg.” –Esther Blodgett

“How much to just listen? My wife will know me by the silence and heavy breathing!” –js

“I only wish this Archie was the start of an Inglorious Basterds homage which culminates in alternate history machine gun assassination of Jughead, history’s greatest monster.” –Dennis the Two and a Half Menace

“I find the Clean-Cut-Kids Gang’s plans for their loot to be kind of sweetly modest: ‘We’ll throw a big party! Heck, just by fencing the television sets, we can get the best plastic cups that money can buy! And no more buttercream frosting for us. It’s ganache all the way!'” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“I’m pretty sure Ziggy’s fish is just giggling childishly at the word ‘Dick.’ And he’s right, that’s by far the funniest thing that’s ever been in the strip.” –Doctor Handsome

“How does one sexually harass a Luann character? By telling them there’s more to sex than double entendres?” –Dan

“Tiffany and Toni, like Liz in FOOB, have naturally plump, pale, ‘Luscious Lips o’ Loveliness®’ because LOOK AT ME I AM ATTRACTIVE. Ann’s lips are dark because she wears lipstick. Like a WHORE.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Does Dr. Jeff realize he now has to go ahead and *hold* the fundraising dinner? ‘People have expressed interest … our work here is done!'” –ks

“Les is smirking because of the man’s effrontery: ‘Does he compare his love for his wife with the profundity of my passion for Lisa? What fools these mortals be! Does he know that when they make love, his wife closes her eyes and fantasizes that Chemosabe is me? Because every woman craves me and my sincerity!’ And fifty other sentences that express the fullness of Les’s self-absorption.” –Droopy Says

“I like to think that the jagged dividing line is actually trying to attack Lu Ann in today’s Apartment 3-G for her unbelievably boring dialogue.” –Alan’s Addiction

“So, while Alan is basking in a hero’s adulation for — what? falling on a giant bed and not dying? — our Baby-Killer Contract Babe is being strapped to a gurney and whisked off to Bellevue where she’ll be connected to a continuous IV drip of Klonopin and Haldol, spending the rest of her days counting the cracks in the ceiling and mumbling incomprehensibly to herself. And does Alan — who 10 minutes prior was telling said BBCB his life story to show her how much he cares about her — ask about her or show any curiosity over what might have taken place on the roof after his pratfall? No: he’s too busy defacing Fire Department property.” –Mudhead

“I finally caught up on the last week of Mary Worth. Why didn’t anyone tell me I missed absolutely nothing?” –Gene S.

Mark Trail: “I could watch this scene unfold for another couple days, easy. Wouldn’t it be great if Rusty became entrapped under the getaway van?” –ArchieNemesis

“I think we’re being too hard on Ann Eiffel. The poor woman is just looking for a little love and the fact that she is looking for it to happen with Brad DeGroot proves that she has either hit rock-bottom or is insane or something. She needs our sympathy, not our scorn.” –Terrapin

“You’re too late, Dr. Jeff … look at Mary’s skirt in panel one. Her heart belongs to Zorro!” –Mumblix Grumph

“‘Get in!’ ‘Uhm, no thanks, Mr. Toad. I’ve heard about your wild rides.'” –Dood

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Works In Progress: A webcomic full of grayscale and shenanigans. Good for your kidneys! (Note: Claims unverified. Read at your own risk.) Updates Tuesdays and Saturdays.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

As muggy July settles in, enjoy this fine comment of the week:

“This is the first time the Crock lettering was big enough for me to realize they’ve gone to a font instead of hand lettering. Where are the standards?! We’re definitely devoting an entire session to this switch at Crock-Con this year!” –Edgy DC

And the runners-up! Hilariousness!

“That rabbit doesn’t strike me as stoned. More like depressed, probably because this is his first glimpse of the nightmarish police state that makes up the Slylock Fox universe. While his friends are cowering in fear at their red, furry judge and jury, Rabbit-Boy has taken up quiet resignation at his helplessness against the vulpine and rodent based justice system.” –KevinK

I love Slylock’s absolute lack of interest in this case. ‘Yeah yeah, sorry about your, you know, broken thingy. It was probably Slick Smitty, or Count What’s-His-Face, or — HEY MAX IT’S MY TURN TO BE ISSAC NEWTON.'” –Irrischano

Mary Worth: “Okay, I’m becoming convinced that the artist uses urethane and silicon Japanese robots first as models and then, making sure they are stiffly and unnaturally posed, goes to work. (And by ‘work’ I mean has sex with them.)” –Greg

“Ziggy applied for political asylum when Castro’s pro-pants party took over. ‘These cheeks must never be denied!’ cried Ziggy as he rowed a boat fashioned from his giant nose towards freedom.” –Dennis the Two and a Half Menace

“At least Loweezy prepared for the hangover by going to bed with an icepack on her head. That *is* what that is, isn’t it? Because otherwise she’s wearing a nightcap over a shawl, and that’s just fucked.” –Pozzo

“Ha ha, there goes my cell phone again! Phones totally go, ‘Beep beep beep’ in 2011! That is in no way a medical device informing me that my colostomy bag has reached its capacity! So, how about that rapscallion Archie Andrews, huh?” –Doctor Handsome

“If don’t get any answers, Dr. Corey’s gonna karate chop a bitch! I’ll show them for coming to a hospital for healing!” –Black Drazon

“I like how, in a joke about editorial cartoons, the Crock artist went ahead and just wrote the word ‘outpost’ on the outpost. Now he only needs to write ‘taxes’ on one rampaging horde and ‘runaway spending’ on the other, and he’s home free.” –Dan

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Works In Progress: A webcomic full of grayscale and shenanigans. Good for your kidneys! (Note: Claims unverified. Read at your own risk.) Updates Tuesdays and Saturdays.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Let us pause momentarily before we go all COTW to be sad about yet another newspaper comics cull, this time at the Denver Post. The Westword blog has a good wrapup, and Comics Riffs has the complete list. It is saddening but not surprising that many of the ones being pulled are new or at least new-ish (Frazz, Heart of the City, The Knight Life, Rhymes with Orange) and the ones that stayed are mostly legacy strips being drawn by the sons and grandsons of the creators (do I even need to list them here?) which at least set up this joke. If you’re in the Denver area, do contact the Post, politely, and let them know what you think!

And now, your comment of the week!

“Every 40 years, the hideous ritual begins again. The new Ziggy and all the animals eat the old Ziggy in a grotesque feast. The new Ziggy thinks he’s got the upper hand, but he doesn’t realize he’s the one suffering the cruel fate: 40 years of being Ziggy. At least the old Ziggy gets to die.” –Rantingdude

And your runners up! Very funny!

“As painful as I’m sure it must be, being kicked in the groin might teach the sheriff a thing or two, specifically that hats and rifles will go flying if they are not secured by straps.” –Charterstoned

“The reason why John Thrasher is living like a hermit up in the back woods now becomes clear: he was tired of being mocked for his dainty little ankles.” –Trilobite

“My dream for the current Spider-Man storyline is that ‘Big Boss’ is actually Spider-Man, who has grown tired of this whole ‘great responsibility’ gig, and just wants a few million dollars to help relocate him and his wife to Hollywood, so that he can save his troubled marriage by getting her a job on TV, so he can bear to look at her.” –Ian C.

“Framing Kenny Loggins for livestock theft? Look out, Sheriff. You just entered the Danger Zone!!!” –Doctor Handsome

“Mountain Man Moccasins, from J Peterman: You walk the high country alone, in retreat from you boot clad past. Your steps caress the ground, leaving no traces and taking orders only from your heart. Supple, oil-tanned, full-grain leather envelops your feet so your soles commune with the spirit of the earth, but if things get trying, as you knew they would, a swift kick to the nads of the establishment can deliver the message: ‘I wish to walk this land in peace, but these feet are still registered weapons.’ Men’s whole and half sizes: 8 through 13.” –Ned Ryerson

“While I’m thankful Ziggy isn’t going to make us suffer through a grating parade of self-congratulation à la Blondie’s 75th anniversary, I wouldn’t mind a crossover where the other depressing loser comic strip characters attend Ziggy’s party only to find themselves more miserable than they could ever think to imagine. Basically, I want to see Ziggy, the Lockhorns, and a few pluggers, all in the same panel, wearing party hats and forlorn expressions.” –Irischano

“I love the combination of smug and wild-eyed terror in the final panel. Ditto just seems so pleased with himself that he got his dad to share the intimate details of his love life. Lois is probably just tweaked, and Ditto sounds like a million cockroaches.” –MyUsernamesMud

“Are we missing the third panel where the kid slips on the immaculately polished floor of the stadium-sized kitchen and breaks his coccyx? Someone please tell me we’re missing that panel.” –Greg

“So let’s have that talk I’ve always wanted to have. You know how your body’s changing, Lu Ann?” –Dood

“Let me show you a couple dresses that I picked out, just in case I ever had a daughter of my own. Oh, and by the way, the doors and windows are sealed shut, so escape is futile.” –Scott Bot

“I missed the middle panel, in which Mary punched Liza in the neck.” –Squeak

“Of course, you’ll have to gestate in my uterus, LuAnn, but … that’s how it’s done.” –Mibbitmaker

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.